Saar: Stardust And Shadows Part 11

Jana was astonished. "I'll bet she's furious with you. And with me, too. Nothing would make her angrier than to do something kind for me."

"You could say she's miffed with me at this time," he jested.

"I'm sure 'miffed' is a mild word for what she's feeling."

"Something could be lost in the translation with our ear devices," he joked again. "The clever apparatus searches for the correct word in meaning and, if it doesn't locate one in its memory bank, it uses the closest one or leaves it in the user's language."

User's language? On past occasions, untranslatable words had come out in ... That meant, Ryker was speaking to her in Maffeian, not his native Androasian. Since he lived here, she guessed that wasn't so odd, however. "Why would you risk losing that valuable source of information to do this kind gesture for me? It can cost you a priceless spy and ally."

"I did it to please you and win your affection. I suddenly find that you're more important to me than her stolen secrets. With our new truce, things have settled down, so I don't have to keep a close watch on their doings. Besides, Ca.s.s is so vain that she needs my boasting on her skills to stroke her enormous ego. And she needs certain products that I make."

"This is so exciting, Andrea, here, safe, and ... happy of sorts." She hugged him and thanked him several times, then kissed him.

To cool his ignited pa.s.sions, the disguised Varian laughed and changed the subject. "We'll reach the boundary in two days, then be at Grandfather's two days later."

Four days .. . The Androasian Empire . .. Kadim Maal ... Her father-in-law ... What, Jana fretted, would she see, feel, think, and experience in her second alien galaxy?

Part II.

Stardust And Shadows.

As the playful G.o.ds gather to watch mortals below, The helpless Fates warns sadly, for only they know: Casting out "Stardust" demands love and life; Fleeing its "Shadows" creates bitter strife ..

Chapter Eight.

"You were unusually quiet last night and this morning," Varian observed the following afternoon. "Is something troubling you, Jana?" After having been so warm and responsive, she was now distant and reserved. He worried over this new mood.

She glanced at him with a look of remorse. "I can't get Andrea off my mind. She's so close and yet so far away. If I could just see her and talk with her for five minutes, I'd feel better. I've missed her. I'm sure she's scared after being kidnapped, hauled to another galaxy on a s.p.a.ceship, and placed on an alien colony. I know you said she was told the truth about me and the plight of Earth, but seeing each other would help both of us."

He realized she was telling the truth, and he was relieved. "That isn't possible at this time, and I can't promise it will be even possible later. If Project Starguard succeeds, the Earthlings may be returned home afterward. Hadn't you rather that happen than her to be relocated here?"

"Of course!" she replied in a rush. "She has family there. I didn't," she explained to soften the scornful tone of her voice. "But knowing she's near makes me homesick and sad. It reminds me of all that was taken from me because of my capture. We're closer than most sisters, have been best friends since we were twelve years old. We shared everything. I want to see her, hug her, and talk with her, if only for five minutes."

"I can only imagine how you're feeling and I'm sorry that news of Andrea has made you sad instead of happy."

"I am relieved she's there. If Earth isn't saved ..."

He clasped her hands in his for comfort. "I know. But don't worry, I'm sure it will be. After our return home, write your message to her and give it to me. I'll do my best to find a way to get it to her after Ca.s.s settles down and is willing to do me another favor."

"That b.i.t.c.h would only read it, laugh, and tear it up! I don't trust her and I don't want her knowing anything about my feelings."

"Are you suffering so much, Jana love? Are you so miserable with me? Your life here could be far worse. I'm doing my best to help you."

Their troubled gazes fused. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I meant loneliness for Andrea and my possessions, for my other friends, my horse, my home, my servants, the ranch hands, my job, all those things and people I lost. But you're wonderful. I wouldn't want to live anywhere or with anyone here except with you."

The apparent honesty of her last two sentences tormented Varian. "Your home and future are with me, Jana; I hope you believe that."

"I do. Please forgive this sorry mood I'm in today."

"I understand, so there is no need to apologize or make yourself feel worse." He could make her feel worse if he told her that Tristan, Martella, and Nigel had been a.s.signed to Anais now because of the outbreak of a disease and a secret attack by men from a neighboring galaxy. The story he had told her about one of her inoculations not taking had happened to the Earthlings on the colony. A medical technician had failed to include one of the serums during decontamination and inoculation processes. Illness had spread rapidly among the unprotected aliens. Fortunately, none had died and all were almost well now, thanks to Dr. Tristan Zarcoff's skills. In addition, there was that military security problem with a ship of Zenufian slavers who had gotten wind of their presence, no doubt from Canissia Garthon. The criminals, thanks to Nigel, had been thwarted and captured. An elite security team was enroute to the colony to safeguard it after Nigel, Tris, and Martella left on the mission to the Milky Way Galaxy. Nigel was to serve as commander and Tris as doctor on one of the other starships, with Martella in charge of security on the Wanderl.u.s.t. It was obvious from his best friend's words that Nigel wanted to remain on Anais for as long as possible, getting to know Andrea McKay. Varian wished he could tell Jana that new friendship- and possibly romance-was why Andrea was so happy in her strange surroundings.

"Do you mind if I ask?" Jana inquired when he did not respond.

"Ask what?" he replied when she caught his strayed attention.

"What happened during that week I can't remember?"

Varian came to alert and thought quickly. "We played laius several times, once for your ring, swam, took a tour of Darkar and the research complex, rode esprees twice, talked about our pasts and a great many other things of interest, made plans for our future, spoke of eventually having children, and ..."

"And what? Why did you halt? Please continue. I need to know."

"We agreed to take our relationship slowly while we got to know each other. We decided it would help if we didn't rush things. Since your illness and recovery, we've gotten carried away because we both needed affection, rea.s.surance, and hope. It might be wise to slow down again so we'll have a better chance of getting closer without the pressure of intimacy. Besides, we don't have to make love every time we hug or kiss. We need to be friends first, Jana."

She warmed to his kindness and patience. She smiled. "The old strategy of appreciating and wanting something more if one has to wait and work hard for it?"

"That's an excellent description and a good theory. It probably works."

She laughed and suggested, "By all means, Ryker, let's try it as an experiment. Think of the new experiences and fun we'll have pursuing each other."

Varian a.s.sumed she was behaving this lighthearted way because she was relieved to have any s.e.xual pressure taken off her. He warmed and relaxed, too. "So, I have a stimulating adventuress for a wife."

Jana fluffed his blond hair and grinned. "Why not? Before coming here, most of my time was spent in cla.s.ses, on long hours of studying to become the best researcher possible, and working in labs with specimens, usually alone. All that solitary time got me into a bad habit of talking to the animals and to myself. Perhaps I did it to hear a human voice in so much silence or to impress facts into my head. I remember one of my grammar school teachers telling us that saying things aloud helped us learn faster and better than just reading silently. Many friends and co-workers have teased me about that weird habit. I have another bad flaw, which is a.n.a.lyzing things to death. I think I'd be better off if I accepted things and people at face value rather than delving too deeply into the whys and wherefores of everything."

"Those aren't flaws, Jana; they're results of having a scientific and probing mind. I do the same, but we aren't crazy or ... weird, wasn't it?"

They shared laughter as each recalled how many times she had been overheard on the Wanderl.u.s.t monitor in her captive's quarters while talking to herself. Jana even remembered telling Mon Spectre, as she called the security control officer, that she must break the habit. And she had done so, except during stressful situations when the weakness resurfaced. "I got us off our subject with idle chatter. Where was I? Oh, yes. It's past time for me to get out and taste life, to pick a few forbidden fruits and sample them. I haven't taken many risks or faced awesome challenges."

"I didn't mean for us to live life on the edge of a slippery cliff."

"If I fall, I'll have you there to pick me up, dust me off, and put me on the precipice again. You wouldn't let me get hurt. What force or person would dare threaten the wife of Prince Ryker Triloni?"

"I'm only a man, Jana, one man."

"You are far more than 'only a man,' my modest husband, far more."

"I'm not invincible or immortal. There will always be someone who's fool enough to challenge any power and rank, even mine."

"Only Varian Saar is that big of a fool, and you have a truce with him. No matter how brave he acted, he always feared you. He envied you, too. When he realized he could never defeat you, he came up with the scheme to make you believe he was giving you his most prized treasure for peace."

Varian winced inside. "You are my most prized treasure."

"That's the best part of his failure."

"His failure?"

"He never expected you to fall-" She blushed at her boldness.

"Fall in love with my peace token, his great sacrifice?"

"That was presumptuous and premature talking. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Jana, it's probably true, or will be soon. Never thought I'd hear myself admit such a thing. Or even feel and think this way. It's scary, so be patient with me."

Jana felt as if she were trembling from head to toe at his confession. So many times-too many times-when she stared into his eyes, she ignored their color and let herself be swept back in time and to another man. That had to cease. "I will be. It might make you feel better to know I'm coming to feel the same way and it scares me. No one wants to feel totally open and vulnerable to the whims of another person or risk having a heart broken if love isn't returned. A big risk of selfinflicted injury is taken when one unleashes emotions to run wild and free, to let someone else take the reins and to control their feelings and lives. I never expected this to happen, not after the way we met. I wish I could remember that lost week because it was a growing time for us and our relationship."

"Then, we plant our seeds again and watch them sprout and blossom."

"Do you have any of that magical maturation formula for emotions?"

"No, and I wouldn't want to rush something so special."

"Nor would I. How about dinner now? I'm ravenous."

The next morning, Jana stood at the transascreen in the rec room. The vastness before her was awesome and intimidating. She leaned against it and gazed at the strange sky beyond her. The flesh-colored clouds of long, separate streaks reminded her of a monster's fingers with sharp claws. It was almost as if thousands of planes had zoomed across the heavens and left their jetstreams in lengthy rows that hadn't started to dissipate. She had asked Ryker yesterday why the outer Maffei planets weren't frozen wastelands, as they were so far from solar warmth. Unlike her Milky Way system, he said, this one was in a tighter cl.u.s.ter and most of them had internal sources of heat.

Yesterday, they had been halted by the Alliance Force patrolling the intergalactic boundary. After a few minutes of talk, they had been given permission to cross it into the Androasian Empire, as if any Maffeian would dare halt Prince Ryker Triloni from doing or going as he pleased! She didn't know what awaited her on Tartarus with his people and ruler.

From her habit of talking to herself or specimens in the lab, Jana didn't realize she was speaking aloud. Nor did she know the man in her words was listening, purely by accident this time, and wished he weren't.

"You've made a hard decision, J. G., and you have to stick with it: it's going to take time, heartache, effort, and determination to get over Varian Saar and what he's done to you, but you're winning the battle. It'll require courage and wisdom to let go of the feelings he evoked, the fantasies he inspired, the memories he created. You have to concentrate on a new existence and the man in it. You can't risk losing both- everything-again."

She lifted one hand and stared at it. "Varian is gone like water through your fingers because you couldn't hold on to him. Ryker is your husband, your future. How will you ever know if this marriage can succeed if you don't give it your best shot to make it work? Ryker is who you need, not a traitorous b.a.s.t.a.r.d like Varian Saar. You can't help but respond to him. So what does that make you? A pa.s.sionate woman who wants love from a man who adores you and makes you feel important to him, who lets you be free and proud. And happy, too, if you dare reach for what he's dangling before you."

It sounded so simple, but it wasn't. Besides, if she changed her recent behavior and resisted him, he would suspect something was wrong, and she certainly couldn't use the truth to explain, that she'd believed he was Varian. Her fate was in her own hands for a change. From this moment forth, her actions would determine if she were fortunate wife or unlucky captive. There was only one direction she could take-toward Ryker. She took a deep breath, released it, and left the room to shower and dress.

At his half brother's desk, Varian grimaced and switched off the intercom. He had been searching for Jana to tell her it was almost dinnertime. He feared the flames of their love and pa.s.sion were burning low. If he waited too long to fan and rekindle those dwindling coals, Jana was lost forever. This a.s.signment was becoming harder and more painful by the day. If he weren't so close to victory, he would ... Bitterness and resentment took vicious bites from him. He wanted to believe Jana would never stop loving him and wanting him. He wanted to believe she would understand and accept what he had done for this critical mission. He could no longer convince himself of that fantasy, and it hurt him more than anything ever had in his life.

They lay in Ryker's bed, in Ryker's quarters, on Ryker's starship, and beneath Ryker's dark shadow. Both wished they were sprinkled by brain-dazing Stardust so their torment wouldn't be so painful. They were soon cuddled together in search of comfort. Their hands began to move of their own volition, stroking, caressing, fondling. Their lips could not resist fusing in an urgent hunt for peace and distraction. Their garments were discarded without notice. Hands moved over bare flesh. Needs heightened. Pa.s.sions soared. Desires blazed out of control.

Varian had a desperate need to possess her before they reached Maal tomorrow. He refused to listen to his mind's protests, only to the pleas of his aching heart and throbbing body. He was so hungry for Jana he almost ravished her with his lips and hands. Unable to stop himself, he entered her and rode her with wildness and delight.

In the dark, it was easy for Jana to lie back and enjoy the pleasures she was receiving. It was easy to respond to such intoxicating sensations. It was easy to pretend he was Varian. She was powerless to do anything other than receive and give sensual t.i.tillation. She had vowed to test herself to see if she could surrender to him, but that choice had been s.n.a.t.c.hed from her grasp. She wanted to hold back. She wanted to be in control. She wanted to remember he was Ryker, her husband. But her body had needs of its own. Her heart had a mind of its own. A desperate craving uncurled in the core of her womanhood and demanded to be fed.

G.o.d help her, in the dark, it was Varian Saar's image that she envisioned! It was his lips, hands, and body stimulating and pleasuring her. He was the one she was making love to. He was the one she wanted and needed. No matter how hard she tried to remember she was with Ryker, it didn't work. His lovemaking was too like his half brother's. His taste and touch were the same. In despair, she prayed that she wouldn't call her husband by his archrival's name. Even in the stirring throes of stunning release, Jana murmured nothing more than, "Love me, love me, love me."

And Varian did, in more than a physical manner. His voice was husky and almost breathless as he whispered, "You're mine, Jana, mine forever."

Time and reality did not exist for a while as they succ.u.mbed to the intensity of a love which had reached beyond the planets and stars to unite them as one, to entwine their destinies. For now, they only wanted and needed each other. They were unaware of the forces of evil and treachery that were plotting against them.

Canissia Garthon left her shuttle to join the man awaiting her, a smile upon his face. He was powerful, rich, and elite, ruler in a galaxy. He was the tool with which she would exact her vengeance against Varian and Jana. The ploy racing around inside her head was so clever that she was positive they would never suspect a thing until it was too late to escape, too late to be rescued, too late to survive.

Soon, her evil mind schemed, the loving couple would pay for hurting and humiliating her, pay with their lives and their blood, after hours, or perhaps days, of torture and s.a.d.i.s.tic pleasures. Her perverted mind could think of so many erotic and wicked things to do to them both. She knew Varian was immune to Thorin, but he wasn't resistant to Jacanate. She would force the potent aphrodisiac into him and let Jana watch the wild and hungry beast sate the redhead in every way possible. She would not halt the frenzied feeding of her twisted urges until he was exhausted, raw, and unable to service her further.

She would wait until Varian recovered his wits before letting him observe a drugged Jana while several of her crewmen struggled to appease the desires unleashed in the alien witch who had stolen her dreams. With the Jacanate coursing through Jana's veins and other similar chemical creams rubbed onto sensitive areas of her alien body, no matter how much she wanted to rebel, Jana would be unable to do anything other than take anything and everything her crewman pushed inside her or did to her and beg for more.

She had just enough of the powerful chemical to punish them both for at least a day. Her body flamed at the vision of the amus.e.m.e.nts that awaited her at the couple's expense. Before she finished with them, she would force Ryker's complex combination from their lips in order to restock her supply of that and other drugs needed for s.e.xual enslavement and mind control, including Rendelar. Ca.s.s pushed the last mental picture from her mind, one of Jana being lashed unmercifully with her favorite whip while Varian cringed in empathy. She would shred her past lover's virile body and handsome face as Jana witnessed his agony. She licked her lips in antic.i.p.ation of having them as her helpless and obedient slaves.

As the ruler stepped forward to greet her, Canissia smiled. "I have valuable news for you today," she said, "more valuable than your empire."

Jana sat in the shuttle as the planet Tartarus loomed closer and closer like a threat she did not understand. She was apprehensive and frightened. Her hands were like ice. She felt shaky and weak. Her heart pounded and her pulse raced. Her mouth and throat were dry. She had the same eerie feeling of impending peril she had experienced that night in Andrea's garden when thugs had attacked her. She had felt it again when three men in silvery jumpsuits with reflective vizards had appeared from nowhere, disintegrated the hoodlums, and captured her. It had a.s.sailed her when she saw Varian for the last time on Eire before being sent to Ryker. She had felt it a last time when she had awakened after her hallucination. The sensation of impending doom grew stronger as the craft moved through wispy clouds toward a landing grid. She shuddered.

"Cold?" Varian asked as he placed his arm around her shoulders.

"Just nervous," she lied, and forced out a weak smile. How could she tell him his world made her feel as if she were about to face a firing squad? How could she explain her sudden, inexplicable terror?

"There's no need to be afraid, love. Grandfather will adore you, as I do. We'll only be here for three days. Relax and enjoy yourself."

Relax? She was trying hard and failing to do so.

The same was true of Varian. He could be walking into the jaws of torture and death if Maal saw through his disguise. Or if that vindictive and desperate redhead had warned the Kadim of his treachery. At least Jana was convinced of his fake ident.i.ty and would pa.s.s any drug questioning she would endure if he was exposed. As Ryker's wife and truly believing she was with her husband, she would be safe from all harm. It would be obvious she was not Rendelar-immune to Thorin so any suspicions of complicity would be dispelled. Only because he was certain she was safe could he allow her to come along and to play a vital role in this daring ruse.

The shuttle flew over tall round and square towers of what appeared to Jana to be made of some unfamiliar metal and gla.s.s. As their speed slowed almost to hover level and their alt.i.tude was nearly ground-zero, she saw moving sidewalks, trams, and tube cars bustling with people who sent out an impression of somberness. She noticed how few were smiling and laughing; most were reserved and formal, businesslike. She saw minishuttles transporting people from place to place, whizzing here and there like giant insects who could not find a place to light and feast on this arid area. The city in sight was almost stark in its ultramodern design without greenery or various colors to soften its bleak gray facade. Everything looked man-made, with nothing of nature: no trees, no bushes, no flowers, no weeds. What vacuous person, she wondered, had laid out such a verdureless landscape? It was a crowded and busy location, but its sterile and unfriendly feel was apparent even before she stepped into the oppressive setting.

They landed and exited to walk to the huge building ahead. Jana was aware of the military-style androids who had awaited their deboarding and were now escorting them to Kadim Maal: big, powerful, silent nonhumans unlike the softer and smaller counterparts on Darkar-Griep, Gar, and Ine-except for their standard yellow eyes and hatless brown hair. Their uniforms were stygian black, and weapons were suspended from belts around their waists. The unit had androids positioned on all four sides, encasing them in a moving box. The unsettling quiet and expressionless mechanisms made her tension increase. She wondered why Maal had not come out to greet them, why he had sent emotionless soldiers to do so. She wanted to turn and run, to escape the foreboding sensation in her gut. Instead, she held her head high, shoulders straight, and complied.

The main door swished open. They stepped into a large entry area that lacked furnishings and decorations. The door behind them thudded shut, almost causing Jana to jump at the loudness in the quiet area. A door before them opened and her husband guided her inside. The soldiers' metal shoes clicked on the marble floor as they led the couple along a lengthy, almost barren hall and into an enormous room. Once inside, doors closed behind them and they were alone.

The interior of the ruler's dwelling was much different from the stark entrance and sterile world beyond the palatial setting. It was opulent and luxurious, and imbued with vivid colors. The plush construction of the furnishings implied comfort and invitation. Paintings, vases with fresh flowers, various-size trees in pots, unusual adornments, and objets d'art hung or sat in strategic locations. Plants provided greenery, flowers and accessories offered color, exotic birds and fish supplied beauty, along with music from the winged creatures. Jana wanted to scream to break her tension. She glanced at her smiling husband, and her gaze followed his line of vision to an elderly man, also smiling, who had entered via another door and was coming toward them.

The stranger halted, let his gaze roam the younger man, and smiled again. "Ryker, cherished flame of my soul, it is good to have you home."

As he had viewed on the secret Darkar tapes, Varian used his right hand to clasp the man's left shoulder to gently shake it as if the action was a familiar, affectionate gesture. He smiled. "It's good to be home, Grandfather." Varian had been to this residence and city on official visits. That, in addition to detailed surveillance reports, gave him complete knowledge of the location.

As the two men greeted each other, Jana studied the silver-haired one with faded green eyes that revealed astonishing gentleness, as did his voice and expression. This almost frail looking man was Kadim Maal Triloni himself. Since her arrival months ago, she had read and heard a lot about him but had never seen his picture. He was alleged to be cold and calculating and vengeful, but those descriptions did not seem to fit the alien nearby. This mild-mannered and tranquil gentleman, she mused, was the terrifying threat that Maffei feared so much? How so, when he appeared the kind, easygoing, and warmhearted image of a perfect grandfather? Yet, she mustn't forget he was a very powerful and elite person, a galactic ruler, leader of the Androasian Empire. She must remember that if the Maffeians feared him so much, there had to be a reason, one she might discover during this short visit.

"We have many important things to discuss, but they can wait until later. You have brought a long-awaited treasure for me to meet." Maal faced her and smiled as his pale eyes roved Jana's face. He embraced her. "Welcome to Tartarus and Androas, Princess Jana Triloni. I could hardly wait to meet the woman who has stolen my grandson's eye and heart."

Jana bent slightly from her waist and lowered her gaze for a moment in a show of respect as she had been taught. "It is a great honor and pleasure to meet you, sir. Ryker refused to tell me much about you. He wants me to form my own opinion of you and his homeland."

One gray brow lifted in intrigue, then he grinned in good humor. "What are your opinions of them, Jana?"

"It's too soon to have any, sir. No one should make snap decisions and judgments. But I am sure they will be favorable ones."

The old man grinned again and his green eyes livened with pleasure and amus.e.m.e.nt. He was attired in an expensive tailored suit that matched his silver hair. His features were aristocratic and his bearing was n.o.ble, as befitting his high rank. Jana was most impressed, pleased, and relieved.

Maal looked at Ryker and said, "I see that she has as much wisdom and intelligence as she has great beauty and charm."