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+M. Mery.+ That I am not a woman myselfe for your sake, I would haue you my selfe, and a strawe for yond Gill, And mocke much of you though it were against my will.
I would not I warrant you, fall in such a rage, As so to refuse suche a goodly personage.
+R. Royster.+ In faith I heartily thanke thee Merygreeke.
+M. Mery.+ And I were a woman.
+R. Royster.+ Thou wouldest to me seeke.
+M. Mery.+ For though I say it, a goodly person ye bee.
+R. Royster.+ No, no.
+M. Mery.+ Yes a goodly man as ere I dyd see.
+R. Royster.+ No, I am a poore homely man as G.o.d made mee.
+M. Mery.+ By the faith that I owe to G.o.d sir, but ye bee.
Woulde I might for your sake, spende a thousande pound land.
+R. Royster.+ I dare say thou wouldest haue me to thy husbande.
+M. Mery.+ Yea: And I were the fairest lady in the shiere, And knewe you as I know you, and see you nowe here.
Well I say no more.
+R. Royster.+ Gramercies with all my hart.
+M. Mery.+ But since that can not be, will ye play a wise parte?
+R. Royster.+ How should I?
+M. Mery.+ Refraine from Custance a while now.
And I warrant hir soone right glad to seeke to you, Ye shall see hir anon come on hir knees creeping, And pray you to be good to hir salte teares weeping.
+R. Royster.+ But what and she come not?
+M. Mery.+ In faith then farewel she.
Or else if ye be wroth, ye may auenged be.
+R. Royster.+ By c.o.c.ks precious potsticke, and een so I shall.
I wyll vtterly destroy hir, and house and all, But I woulde be auenged in the meane s.p.a.ce, On that vile scribler, that did my wowyng disgrace.
+M. Mery.+ Scribler (ko you) in deede he is worthy no lesse.
I will call hym to you, and ye bidde me doubtlesse.
+R. Royster.+ Yes, for although he had as many liues, As a thousande widowes, and a thousande wiues, As a thousande lyons, and a thousand rattes, A thousande wolues, and a thousande cattes, A thousande bulles, and a thousande calues, And a thousande legions diuided in halues, He shall neuer scape death on my swordes point, Though I shoulde be torne therfore ioynt by ioynt.
+M. Mery.+ Nay, if ye will kyll him, I will not fette him, I will not in so muche extremitie sette him, He may yet amende sir, and be an honest man, Therfore pardon him good soule, as muche as ye can.
+R. Royster.+ Well, for thy sake, this once with his lyfe he shall pa.s.se, But I wyll hewe hym all to pieces by the Ma.s.se.
+M. Mery.+ Nay fayth ye shall promise that he shall no harme haue, Else I will not fet him.
+R. Royster.+ I shall so G.o.d me saue.
But I may chide him a good.
+M. Mery.+ Yea that do hardely.
+R. Royster.+ Go then.
+M. Mery.+ I returne, and bring him to you by and by. _Ex._
Actus. iij. Scaena. v.
+Roister Doister. Mathewe Merygreeke. Scriuener.+
+R. Royster.+ What is a gentleman but his worde and his promise?
I must nowe saue this vilaines lyfe in any wise, And yet at hym already my handes doe tickle, I shall vneth holde them, they wyll be so fickle.
But lo and Merygreeke haue not brought him sens?
+M. Mery.+ Nay I woulde I had of my purse payde fortie pens.
+Scriuener.+ So woulde I too: but it needed not that stounde,
+M. Mery.+ But the ientman had rather spent fiue thousande pounde, For it disgraced him at least fiue tymes so muche.
+Scriuener.+ He disgraced hym selfe, his loutishnesse is suche.
+R. Royster.+ Howe long they stande prating? Why comst thou not away?
+M. Mery.+ Come nowe to hymselfe, and hearke what he will say.
+Scriuener.+ I am not afrayde in his presence to appeere.
+R. Royster.+ Arte thou come felow?
+Scriuener.+ How thinke you? am I not here?
+R. Royster.+ What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villanie?
+Scriuener.+ It hath come of thy selfe, if thou hast had any.
+R. Royster.+ All the stocke thou comest of later or rather, From thy fyrst fathers grandfathers fathers father, Nor all that shall come of thee to the worldes ende, Though to three score generations they descende, Can be able to make me a iust recompense, For this trespa.s.se of thine and this one offense.
+Scriuener.+ Wherin?
+R. Royster.+ Did not you make me a letter brother?
+Scriuener.+ Pay the like hire, I will make you suche an other.
