Return Of The Highlanders: The Guardian Part 35

"Ian, ye can't blame yourself for everything that happens." Sileas leaned back and looked at him with her honest green eyes. "And ye did save me."

"I've failed ye so many times-starting with the day I found ye outside the tunnel and didn't believe ye were in danger," he said. "I never should have left ye to deal with everything alone while I went off to France. I don't know how to tell ye how sorry I am for it all."

"Ye returned home precisely when we needed ye most," she said, touching her fingers to his cheek. "If ye had been here all along, ye might have been killed at Flodden with the rest of them. And where would we be now without ye? Your da would still be lying in bed spewing venom at Niall, Hugh would be chieftain, and I'd likely be wed to that brute Angus."

The thought of Angus's hands on her sent a wave of cold fury through him. If he could kill him again, he would. "I don't know how ye can forgive me."

"Do ye know why I waited five long years for ye, Ian MacDonald?" she asked with a soft smile lighting her face.

It was a wonder to him that she had.

"It's because I always knew ye were special. I could see it in ye from the time I was a wee bairn. Even when ye made mistakes, I believed in that lad who had so much courage and kindness in his heart. I knew the man ye could be."

He cradled her face in his hand. He felt an overwhelming grat.i.tude for her faith in him-for the wee bairn who trusted him to rescue her from every mishap, for the brave thirteen-year-old la.s.s who threw her fate in with his without thinking twice. And most of all, for the young woman who waited for him to return, and who, when he failed her again, gave him yet another chance to prove himself.

He had come home seeking only atonement, and she had given him the wonder of love. "I'll do my best to be the man ye believe I can become."

"Ye already are," she said.

He felt a powerful need to make love to her, to show her how much he cared. But she would need time, after what she had been through. The image of Murdoc standing between her legs would be with him for a long, long time. How much worse the memory must be for her. Would it ever fade enough for her to want him again?

"Let me help ye to bed, a chroi. Ye need your rest," he said. "But if ye can bear to have me touch ye, I'd like to sleep holding ye in my arms."

He wanted much more than that, but he brushed his lips across her forehead.

He was already hard with wanting her before she slid her arms around his neck. When she rose up on her toes and leaned into him, he held himself in check and gave her a chaste kiss. But when she pulled him down into a deep kiss, thrusting her tongue into his mouth with an urgency that sent his blood pounding through his veins, he was a lost man.

Finally, he forced himself to break the kiss. "Ye don't have to do this to please me. Ye should r-"

"I want ye something fierce," she said, pulling him to her by the front of his shirt. "Don't ye dare tell me I must rest."

Ian trusted his wife to know what she wanted.

Sileas needed him to make love to her to wipe away the fear that had dogged her since Alex burst into the house bleeding the morning before. She had kept up a brave front most of the time, but she had feared rape and degradation and death; she had feared for the lives of Ian's family and friends, who were now her family and friends. And most of all, she had feared she would die and never see Ian again.

She felt desperate to hold him, to feel him inside her and all around her. They fell to the bed, kissing and running their hands over each other as if they might never get the chance again-because it had almost been true. They tore at each other's clothes until at last they lay skin to skin. But it wasn't enough.

She needed to feel his weight on her. When she tugged on his shoulder, he rolled to cover her. She closed her eyes and drew in deep breaths. It was as if she needed to feel him pressing down on her, touching her from head to toe, to believe he was truly here with her.

She felt safe at last.

And she wanted him as she had never wanted him before. He slid his hands between her legs and groaned when he found how wet she was for him.

"I need ye inside of me," she said, her voice coming out hoa.r.s.e. "I need us to be one."

When he brought the head of his shaft to touch her center, he shuddered with the effort not to plunge into her. But when she clamped her legs around him, he gave in to what they both wanted. She gasped as he thrust deep inside her.

For a long moment, they held still, and she reveled in the intensity of the sensation of him inside her, and the antic.i.p.ation of his moving again.

"Mo chroi." He held her head between his hands and kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, her hair. "Do ye know how much I love ye?"

"Aye." She did know it now. His love shone in his eyes, his voice, his touch. It was all around her, encompa.s.sing her in its warmth.

Ian's heart was worth waiting for. He was worth waiting for.

With his eyes locked on hers, he began moving slowly inside her. The pouch holding the crystal she gave him dragged across her chest as if connecting their hearts as he moved over her again and again. His breathing was ragged, and the muscles of his face were straining.

"Harder." She arched her back and pulled on his shoulders, urging him closer, deeper. She clung to him with all her strength and love.

"Mo shiorghra... mo shiorghra..."

He whispered endearments to her as he moved inside her, but she felt too much now to speak. Tears streamed down the sides of her face from emotions too strong to contain. Ian captured her mouth and swallowed her cries as they melded together in an explosion of white fire.

Ian rolled with her until she lay sprawled on top of him. His heart thumped wildly in her ear, and his hand shook as he brushed the hair back from her face.

"We are one," he said. "We always will be."

The gray light of dawn was coming through the narrow window when she awoke. Ian lay behind her, his arms wrapped about her and one hand cupping her breast. She snuggled closer and felt his shaft press against her. When she turned in his arms to face him, he traced her skin with his fingers and kissed her with a tenderness that squeezed her heart.

"This time, I'm determined to make love to ye slowly," he said with a gleam in his eye, "and you're going to let me have my way."

"I will," she said, smiling back at him.

Ian sat up and took her hand. "I have something I want to ask ye first."

The seriousness of his expression sent a frisson of anxiety through her. She sat up cross-legged to face him and pulled the blanket over her shoulders. "Aye, what is it?"

Ian licked his lips. She'd never seen Ian look nervous before in her life, and it put her on edge to see it now.

"What I want to ask ye is, would ye like to do it over again?" he said. "Get married, I mean. With friends and neighbors coming to wish us well, a big feast, music and dancing."

Sileas was too stunned to speak.

"I'd like to do it right this time," he said.

Tears stung at the back of her eyes. Her voice came out as a whisper. "Ye mean it?"

"I do," he said, his eyes soft on hers. "When I give ye my vows before all our friends and neighbors, they will know I give them freely and that I mean to keep them."

She had tried not to let what others said hurt her, but in an island clan where everyone knew everyone else's business, it had been hard. Ian had found a way to restore her pride by honoring her before their clan.

"Murdoc said that wasn't a real priest who wed us that day," she said.

"Ach, I should have guessed my uncle would do that. Then we'll ask Father Brian to bless our marriage." Ian lifted her chin with his finger. "I want ye looking your loveliest in a fine gown, and every man eating his heart out because ye are mine."

Sileas thought of the ill-fitting red gown that sagged at her bosom and made her skin look blotchy and her hair orange.

"I'll wear a gown of blue, the color of my true love's eyes," she said, letting a slow smile spread across her face. "It will be so gorgeous that the women will talk of nothing else for weeks."

"Ye will do it then?" Ian asked. "Marry me again?"

Sileas threw her arms around his neck. "I'd marry ye a thousand times over, Ian MacDonald."

Ian held her tight against him.

"When I was a lad, Tearlag predicted I would wed twice," he said with a laugh in his voice. "Tearlag could have saved me a good deal of trouble if she'd told me it would be to the same woman both times."

Sileas looked up at him from under her lashes. "So which wife is it that ye intend to make love to slowly?"

"It will have to be you, mo chroi," Ian said, as he kissed her below her ear and eased her back on the bed, "and you again."

CHAPTER 43.

Sileas and Beitris greeted the last group of women as they entered the gatehouse of Knock Castle. The women cooed and clucked as they surveyed the presents that were laid out for that very purpose.

"Ach, the st.i.tching on that pillow is lovely, Margaret," one woman said to another.

"But not as useful a gift for a bride as the fine iron pot ye gave her," her friend replied.

It was only three days since Connor was made chieftain, so the women had barely had time to prepare their gifts. But after Sileas's long wait for a real wedding celebration, none of them was complaining. Despite the mild smell of charred wood that lingered in the air, Sileas was glad now that Ian had insisted they not wait until the keep was livable to have their wedding.

Once the women had finished viewing the gifts and complimenting each other, Beitris called out, "Time for the washing of the bride's feet!"

Sileas laughed as the women sat her down on a stool before a wooden tub-a wedding present from Ilysa-pulled off her shoes and stockings, and stuck her feet into the cold water.

Sileas had not grown up in the company of women. She had always felt awkward among them, particularly in the years when she didn't fit in with either the unmarried la.s.ses or the women with husbands. More than a few had made thoughtless remarks to her about Ian's long absence. But today, she felt accepted for the first time-and she was enjoying herself.

Sileas watched as her mother-in-law twisted off her wedding ring and tossed it into the tub.

"You have the happiest marriage I know, so your ring is sure to bring me the best of luck." Sileas took Beitris's hand and smiled up at her. "I am blessed to have a mother-in-law who is like a mother to me."

Beitris sniffed and wiped her nose as the women cheered.

Then all the women in want of husbands gathered around the tub. Sileas shrieked as they took turns scrubbing her ticklish feet and searching the bottom of the tub for the ring. Though Ilysa was younger than she and a widow, Sileas was surprised to see her standing in line to take a turn. Ilysa had never shown any interest in remarrying before.

Ilysa, however, never got her turn.

"I have it!" Dina shouted. The other women exchanged glances, for they were all quite aware of how Dina lost her last husband.

"Good luck to ye, Dina," Sileas said. "May ye be as happy as I am."

The women finally deigned to notice Ian and the other men who, by tradition, were crowded around the doorway, joking with each other and trying to peek inside. Ian let the women drag him into the room and sit him down on a stool on the other side of the tub from Sileas.

Ian's gaze was warm on hers as he put his hand over his heart and mouthed, a chuisle mo chroi. There was a good deal of sighing from the women, but that didn't stop them from covering his feet in ashes before putting them in the tub.

The feet washing and gift viewing were supposed to take place the eve before the wedding, but they had decided to do it all on the same day so Father Brian could be on his way.

Ian took her hands and helped her to her feet. As they stood together in the tub, he gave her a kiss that made her forget the others were watching-until she heard them shouting their approval.

"I think he could give my Donald a lesson or two," one of the older women said, causing another round of laughter.

"Out with ye, Ian Aluinn," another woman said, and Ian let a matron half his size push him out the door.

Before they could close it on him, he blew Sileas a kiss. "I'll be waiting for ye in the yard, a chroi."

"You're a lucky la.s.s," Dina said, as the women helped her out of the tub and dried her feet. From the way the other women's eyes had followed Ian, Sileas suspected Dina wasn't the only woman in the room who would have been more than glad to change places with her.

Sileas wondered where Beitris had gone when she saw her return from the corner of the room with a shimmering silk gown the color of bluebells.

"Ahh, it's gorgeous," Sileas breathed, as she fingered the fine material. "When did ye have time to make it?"

Beitris's smile was so broad she looked as if her face might split. "I started working on it the night Ian came home from France."

Sileas didn't bother asking how her mother-in-law had known she would be needing it. She lifted her arms as two of the women pulled her gown over her head, leaving her in her chemise.

"Beitris, this one will give ye many grandchildren," an old woman with pure white hair said, as she pinched Sileas's hip.

"She'll have beautiful babes," Beitris said, as she dropped the gown over Sileas's head.

The gown floated over her in a swirl of cool silk. It fit perfectly, clinging to every curve as if it had been st.i.tched by faeries. Sileas met Beitris's eyes and knew they were both thinking of the awful red gown she had worn to her first wedding.

"Thank ye, Beitris," she said, as they grinned at each other.

"Ach, such luck you'll have!" the women exclaimed again and again, for a wedding gown that fit well was a sign of good luck.

The women slid thin stockings up her legs and combed her hair. As a last touch, Ilysa tied a sprig of white heather in her hair, another token of good fortune.

Then all the women cooed and sighed, telling her, as they did all brides, that she was the loveliest bride they'd ever seen. When she stepped out into the bailey yard and Ian looked at her, she felt as if it were true.

He was so handsome that the sight of him made her feel as if something had slammed against her chest. The crystal she had given him had been fashioned into a pin that held his plaid at the shoulder, and he wore a sprig of white heather in his cap like the one she wore one in her hair.

Duncan, Connor, and Alex were next to him, dressed in their best and looking fine. Being young and healthy, they were recovering quickly from their injuries, though their bruises still told the tale.

When Duncan raised his eyebrows at her, she nodded and he began to play. His pipes filled the bailey yard with a song of hope and joy. All eyes were on her as she joined Ian to stand before Father Brian.

"I, Ian Payton MacDonald, take ye, Sileas MacDonald, to be my wife. In the presence of G.o.d and before these witnesses, I promise to be a loving and faithful husband to ye until G.o.d shall separate us by death."

Sileas said her vows in turn. When the priest had blessed them, Ian kissed her and the crowd erupted into cheers.

Connor was the first to congratulate them. "May ye be blessed with long life and peace."

Sileas squeezed Ian's hand. Between the rebellion brewing and Hugh's escape, peace seemed unlikely, but she would hope for a long life together.