Religion in Earnest Part 15

Both of them knew something of religion years ago. Lord, save me from trifling.--Left Cleethorpes at six. The Grimsby packet was crowded, and there were many wicked people on board. I was glad when we reached Hull.--Two of my members lie at the point of death; one, above eighty, is perhaps already gone. She has not been able to attend her cla.s.s for some years, but I have regularly visited her; and often been encouraged while praying with her. A wicked son has been a great trouble to her, and, I am informed, often used her ill. To the last she expressed confidence in G.o.d. I have seen her several times since the commencement of this last affliction, which has only been of a week's duration. Last night she was just entering the valley, and the power of recollection was nearly gone. The other, whom I also saw last night, is aged, and with a happy expression of countenance declared her trust in G.o.d, and hope of heaven. Two others that I saw, both above eighty, were joyfully waiting their release."

Exiled from my Father's home, A pilgrim here below; Looking,--longing, lo! I come More of Thy love to know.

Let me here, like Mary, sit; Claim Thee every moment mine; Willing always to submit, And lose my will in Thine.

"I retain the earnest desire after full dedication to G.o.d, Spared to see the last moments of another year; I am resolved that G.o.d shall have my heart. Worthless enough! But the atonement! Here is my hope and consolation. Yes, my all centres here."

"1847.--A friend came to request me to write to a sister, who is in trouble through bereavement. Never did I so clearly apprehend the responsibility of acting for the Lord. May the attempt be blessed.--Visited the School, and was glad to find that some of the children remembered what I said to them a year ago. This shows the importance of storing the youthful mind with what is worth remembering. I requested them to commit to memory the 23rd Psalm. Six or eight have done so, and repeated it correctly. Addressed and prayed with them. This finishes my month of visitation.--I have to record the merciful interposition of Providence, beyond my expectation, in a matter which has occasioned me much pain. On this account I wish to be thankful. Surely the Lord has heard my prayer. Let this induce me to exercise a firmer reliance upon His promise, being 'careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, making my requests known unto G.o.d.'--In visiting some of the Lord's people, I think I was directed aright."

I would, in every footstep, move To meet the Saviour whom I love.

"Called upon Mrs. W., in dying circ.u.mstances. I have seen her twice, and feel encouraged. The world becomes more empty. Christ is all.--Believing it to be my duty, I visited the surviving sons of Mrs. W., to urge them to follow their deceased parent. They seemed to welcome my visit, and invited me to call again.

"Sinnington.--Visited several of the villagers, with an anxious desire that I might be useful to them. Visited my departed friends in the churchyard; I hope to join them soon. On one of the gravestones I read

'The grave has eloquence, its lectures teach In language louder, than divines can preach.'"

"I was again solicited to take the presidency of the sewing meeting;--a position, which to me appears increasingly important. Want of punctuality, and other evils, are creeping in. Lord, I am Thine, I would do that which is right in Thy sight, teach me; and, by the control of Thy providence, let this organization be placed on the best footing, that it may contribute to Thy glory.--Mrs. Wilson from Fiji, came to spend the day with us before she returned home. How sweet is the cement of prayer! How it knits us to one another! My heart filled when I saw her. I could have wept. She brings pleasing tidings from my son.--After much deliberation we determined to go to Harrogate. I believe it is the right time. While on my knees before the Lord, it was suggested, 'He shall bless thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and for evermore.' I felt it was from the Lord, and believed it. We had an agreeable journey, and on our arrival a person accosted us, and asked if we required lodgings. We went with her to look at them, and found them congenial to our wishes. The parties are members of our society: another proof of our heavenly Father's care.--This evening I had the opportunity of speaking to one of the cavalry gentlemen. He thanked me, and said he would think about it.--A day of severe exercise. I was constrained to go to the throne of grace, where I found help, and was enabled to rise above what otherwise would have grieved me much. The grand secret, I believe, was the giving up my own will. May I ever have power to do it.--In my sleep, the words were continually running in my mind, 'Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial, which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.' Only enable me to endure; let Thy righteous will be done."

Glorious Lord, appear, appear To Thy feeble follower here; By Thy grace my heart prepare, All Thy righteous will to bear.

"The words, 'I will be with him in trouble,' have greatly comforted me. Faith makes them mine; glory be to G.o.d!--At the sewing meeting I read the first section of Bramwell's Memoir. During tea I took the opportunity of speaking of the propriety of improving our time while together, admonished as we were by the sudden removal of so many around us; also of the necessity of punctuality in our attendance, that we might not offer a blemished sacrifice. The sequel will show with what effect.--As far as opportunity and strength permitted, I have occupied these two days in visiting my members, and my afflicted friend, Miss Bentley. She knew me, and desired me to pray; but soon fell into a slumber. This was the last time she spoke to me.--Saw her again; about half-past four she died--to live for ever.--It is now the last hour of 1847. I enjoy peace of mind and hunger after righteousness. I long to fill up my time according to the will of G.o.d, and if I live, to be more useful than I have ever been."

Oh! let Thy still small voice Say to my inmost soul, 'I am thy G.o.d; believe, rejoice, I make the contrite sinner whole.'

So be it. I am only Thine, And feel, through Christ, that Thou art mine.

"1848.--A whole week I have been a prisoner, in consequence of a swollen foot; but I am sure it is permitted in love. I see it to be my privilege patiently to submit, and think I feel willing to do so; but there are many intricacies in the human heart, and I see no further than divine light permits."

Advancing time is slow; But ah! how swiftly gone!

To mark its flight, and show How 'vantage may be won, Is wisdom only few attain, But wisdom yielding greatest gain.

"Called to see the Rev. Thomas Walker, and found it good while praying with him. He requested me, whenever I bowed the knee, to remember him.

He is daily brought to my recollection.--Memorable day! My Richard's birthday. How little do we antic.i.p.ate the events of life! now among cannibals, preaching the everlasting Gospel. Glorious work! Thus highly honoured of the Lord, may he prove faithful. Than this, I can have no greater joy.--Called a third time to see Miss W., who seems to be seeking the Lord in real earnest. I found her reading the Bible, and weeping. Saw her again. She told me how happy she had been all Thursday night; and said she felt as if I had cured both body and soul. Since then she has been very ill, but is still following on to know the Lord. Her Bible seems her greatest treasure. Afterward I had a happy interview with Mrs. Isaac;--declining in body but alive to G.o.d. She prayed sweetly.--Helmsley Missionary Meeting. We were hurried from the dinner table to the chapel, which precluded the preparation I like. Friends are so kind in making ample provision for the body, that our souls are in danger of suffering loss in consequence.--Called to see Miss W. Death was painted in her countenance; but she roused up, while I pointed her to the Saviour, and urged her to accept His mercy _now_. After prayer she said, with tears, 'I do believe in Jesus.'

I read a psalm, to which she listened with deep attention, and then prayed again. When I rose to depart she said, 'You'll come again;'

which I purposed to do, but she died the following morning. While at the committee for the distribution of clothing, the Lord blessed me with such a calm serenity of mind, that it was observed by one of my friends. Was it in answer to prayer? It is true, before I left home, my prayer was for a meek and quiet spirit; also the preceding evening, my friend B. and I had unitedly agreed to pray that we might more evidently, in our different spheres, approve ourselves G.o.d's witnesses. Since then I have been endeavouring, but not always with equal success.--Still confined to the house. Rose between six and seven, and found the advantage of prayer. I feel my unprofitableness, but was never more resolved to cleave to my best Friend than now.

During the week I have been much drawn out in prayer for the dear people committed to my care. But ah! I have not prayed half enough; for this I feel humbled. O Lord, impress their spiritual welfare more deeply upon my heart."

"1849.--Here, I dedicate anew My ransom'd powers to Thee; A worthless offering, it is true; Yet deign to look on me.

"The Rev. A. Bell called to say he wished Mrs. D. to take my Thursday cla.s.s, as he wanted female leaders on that side the bridge. Is it my unfaithfulness that will cause these dear people to be taken from me? My dear husband says it is providential, on account of my health.

Well, I wait the issue.--Not long ago, a man, who was crushed on the railway, cried out, as his companions were carrying him away upon a hurdle, 'Stop!' when asked if they hurt him, he replied, 'No;' and pulling his hymn-book out of his bosom, added, 'I want to sing'--

'Happy if with my latest breath, I may but gasp His name; Preach Him to all, and cry in death, Behold, behold the Lamb.'"

"He was conveyed to a neighbouring inn, and medical aid immediately obtained. The doctor felt his pulse, and shook his head, on which the sufferer inquired how long he should live. 'Perhaps till twelve,' was the answer. He then repeated the verse commencing

'No room for mirth or trifling here,' &c.

adding, 'I shall be in heaven before twelve.' Near that time, he lifted up his hands, and shouting victory, victory, expired.--The practice, which I have for some time adopted, of retiring immediately after breakfast to pray for myself, and those who are a.s.sociated with me in church fellowship, I find truly profitable.--We set off early in the morning for Gloucester, to visit our son and daughter; and had a pleasant and peaceful journey, far beyond my expectation. A lady, who sat beside me, gave me an account of her conversion to G.o.d. The conversation was originated by some tracts, which she carried for distribution. About seven we arrived, and found our children looking out for us. Thus past the last day of my sixty-sixth year--an epitome of my life--continual change.--Returned to York. Mrs. J. accompanied me in search of Rosamond J. We found her in very poor circ.u.mstances, with four children, and her husband gone off to seek work. She instantly recognised me, and burst into tears. We prayed with her.

After tea I met Mrs. J.'s cla.s.s. The Lord was with us; several were in tears, conscious of their distance from G.o.d. The Lord a.s.sisted me in speaking to them, and blessed my own soul.--Death is common. The cholera prevails. May this awful visitation be sanctified to us! I was sent for to see Mrs. P.; she expressed her confidence in G.o.d, and this morning died of cholera.--I felt impressed to visit the adjoining neighbours, and having bowed before the Lord, to ask his blessing and help, I went; and, as the Lord enabled me, conversed and prayed with two families. In one of them, the wife, who is much afflicted, pressed me to go again, and her husband seconded the request.--Several circ.u.mstances which have occurred in our Society, painful in themselves, have turned out to my benefit, destroying my dependance on man, and pointing me to the Rock which is higher than I. In an unexpected trial I was divinely supported. I went to see ----, and there I met with his friend, to whom I spoke plainly; my heart was pained.--Instead of going to the house of G.o.d, I was painfully exercised at home."

Opprest, I lift my heart to Thee, Thou soother of my care; Oh! let Thy ear attentive be, To this my heartfelt prayer.

Thou seest my heart's desire, to live Obedient to Thy will; Help me, to Thee, my all to give, With love my bosom fill.

"Whate'er in me is wrong remove, Whate'er is dark illume; Search, try, and purge me, but in love, Lest Thou Thy dust consume.

To Thee is all my sorrow known, No secret would I hide; The enemy his tares hath sown, Oh! let him not divide.

Thou only canst my burden move, The woful breach repair; Oh! send us succour from above, And hear my instant prayer.

"I am resolved, through grace, to seek a closer walk with G.o.d, and sweeter communion by the Holy Ghost. I want constancy, and more faith.

I am convinced of my cowardice in not confessing the sanctifying grace of G.o.d which I enjoy; and thus insensibly lose sight of it. I desire continually to be led by the Spirit. I went to converse with a neighbour about having family-prayer. The mother is an old Methodist. Saw another person, who is a widow, and in trouble; both heart-touching visits.--In visiting, I met with the son of one of my members, whom I requested to read six verses of scripture every day; got the whole family together, and prayed with them. There was considerable feeling among them.--I am now entered upon the last hour of this eventful year, in which thousands have been swept away by cholera, and many by sudden death; but it has not come nigh me. I began it with the fixed purpose of living to G.o.d; but Thou, Lord, knowest how often and wherein I have failed. I feel I can plead nothing but the blood of atonement, to which I come; I want stronger faith, and more love. The unhappy divisions in our Connexion have rather done me good; for I feel a hungering after Bible Christianity, and more of that love which 'never faileth,' and which 'thinketh no evil.'"

XX.

THE STORM.

"THE LORD HATH HIS WAY IN THE WHIRLWIND AND THE STORM, AND THE CLOUDS ARE THE DUST OF HIS FEET." Nahum i. 3.

The storm, that spreads ruin and devastation in its path, is no less a proof of a wise and overruling Providence than the gentler phenomena of nature, which, with such constant and unvarying regularity, refresh and bless the earth. It cleanses the atmosphere, and sweeps away the poisonous miasmata, which have been engendered during a period of quiescence, and which must, if not removed, prove prejudicial to human life. A similar effect is exerted by those painful dissensions which too often arise in religious communities. G.o.d permits them for the purification of His church. What is useless or injurious is swept away; what is good is confirmed; and if unhappily many, that are weak, are injured, it is because they do not seek shelter in Him, who is a hiding-place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest. During the fierce agitation, which swept as a whirlwind over the Methodist societies in 1849 and 1850, Mrs. Lyth never lost sight of the great purpose of life. She stood faithful and unmoved at her post; and meddled no further with matters of strife than positive duty required.

The questions which many loved to discuss, and thought themselves quite competent to settle, were never willingly the topic of her conversation. They were the subjects of her prayers. She retired to her closet; she wept in secret over the breaches of Zion; she sought her refuge from the surrounding excitement in the secret place of the Most High, and hence that, which in itself was a serious evil, became to her a source of personal benefit. Happy would it have been for many, who needlessly exposed themselves to the fury of the storm, if they had been like minded.

"1850.--Several perplexing circ.u.mstances have conspired to disturb the quiet of my mind, however, they could only ruffle the surface. Through Christ, I enjoy settled peace.--In the course of discussion in the Leaders' Meeting I was given to see the amiableness of the meekness of wisdom, which was exhibited by one of our leaders. I came home praying for more of it, feeling greater love for the Lord's people, and thankful that I am united with them. O what a privilege!--Twenty-seven years since my dear father entered into rest; and I am yet alive, to see and hear of more discord among the professed followers of Jesus than ever I saw. Nevertheless, the 'Word of G.o.d is sure, the Lord knoweth them that are His.' I praise G.o.d my heart is fixed, let others do as they may; yet it is painful to me to see them leaving the people of G.o.d. 'I know in whom I have believed,' and in Jesus I have peace.

"Copy of a letter written to a member, late of my cla.s.s:--

"MY DEAR MRS. ----, My heart yearns over you; and, having been your Leader, I feel a responsibility resting upon me, of which I cannot acquit myself, without warning you of the danger, to which you are exposing your own soul, by giving place to a spirit not of love.

"You have been offended; go to the offender, that the breach may be healed; do not make the rent wider. Read carefully and with prayer, our Saviour's directions in Matt. 18th; and submit yourself at the feet of Jesus, who has said, 'Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.'

"O my dear friend, an enemy has gained an advantage over you; and on cool reflection you will have cause to mourn.

Suffer not this evil to rankle in your breast; but go directly to Jesus for power to forgive, that you may be forgiven.

"My love for your eternal welfare, prompts me thus to write to you, and I remain,

"Your sincere friend, &c."

"My husband is gone to New Street Chapel, the Trustees having been summoned on the 'Delegate' affair. The Lord reigneth.--The past has been a week of painful disunion and insubordination in oar Society.

Alas! Yet, through mercy, my peace of mind continues. My resolve to live for Him, who gave himself for me, is more firmly fixed than ever.

While sitting under the word, my mind was impressed to go and speak with M.R.; I scarcely indulged the thought, but when I returned home, it still pursued me. I took it to the Lord, and asked for wisdom, courage, and a plain path; and then set forth. My path was made plain, courage was given, and the spirit of meekness and love rested upon me. The word of admonition was kindly received; may it be as a nail fastened by the Master of a.s.semblies.--The adjourned Missionary Meeting was held in the Centenary Chapel, and concluded the annual services. The collection was nearly 10 in excess of last year.

Messrs. E. and G. were present. Three cheers, accompanied by the waving of hats, &c., were given by certain persons for the 'expelled.'

The like I never saw before, nor ever wish to see again.--My son preached in New Street. In his first prayer he was much drawn out. The divine power reached my heart. I felt it truly precious, glory be to G.o.d, who in mercy has called my children to spread the savour of his grace. O that the prayer I have often presented for this son, may be answered, that he may be blessed to thousands who may sit under his ministry.--Collected for the Missions. Several refused to give; but a widow increased her subscription from two to ten shillings.

"Harrogate.--A pleasant walk alone; my meditations were sweet.

Endeavoured to induce a few to go to the Prayer-meeting, but only prevailed upon four. Called on Mrs. B. Our conversation turned upon the present unhappy divisions. How much are we in danger of getting wrong! O Lord, let me be guided by Thy Spirit, and if I err put me right. In family prayer I was drawn out for each by name. After retiring to rest my little grandson David got up, and came to my bedside to ask me to pray for him. May the Lord make him a man after his own heart; and, if he live, a preacher of righteousness. I dreamt I was taking a long journey, and felt the rolling of rough waters under me, but was fearless. When I awoke, this stanza was on my lips,