Redemption and two other plays Part 11

LISA. Perhaps, perhaps. (Smiling.) But don't you think we are becoming very selfish?

KAReNIN. Maybe. But it's all your fault, dear. After all, this hopelessness and waiting, to think of being happy at last! I suppose happiness does make us selfish.

LISA. Don't believe you're alone in your happiness or selfishness. I am so filled with joy it makes me almost afraid. Misha's all right, your mother loves me, and above all, you are here, close to me, loving me as I love you.

KAReNIN (bending over her and searching her eyes). You're sure you've no regret?

LISA. From the day I found out about that gypsy woman, my mind underwent a change that has set me free.

KAReNIN. You're sure?

[Kissing her hands.

LISA (pa.s.sionately). Darling, I've only one desire now, and that is to have you forget the past and love as I do.

[Her little boy toddles in R., sees them and stops.

[To the child.

Come here, my sweetheart.

[He goes to her and she takes him on her knees.

KAReNIN. What strange contradictory instincts and desires make up our beings!

LISA. Why?

KAReNIN (slowly). I don't know. When I came back from abroad, knew I'd lost you, I was unhappy, terribly. Yet, it was enough for me to learn that you at least remembered me. Afterward, when we became friends, and you were kind to me, and into our friendship wavered a spark of something more than friendship, ah, I was almost happy! Only one thing tormented me: fear that such a feeling wronged Fedya. Afterwards, when Fedya tortured you so, I saw I could help. Then a certain definite hope sprang up in me. And later, when he became impossible and you decided to leave him, and I showed you my heart for the first time, and you didn't say no, but went away in tears--then I was happy through and through. Then came the possibility of joining our lives. Mamma loved you. You told me you loved me, that Fedya was gone out of your heart, out of your life forever, and there was only, only me.... Ah, Lisa, for what more could I ask! Yet the past tortured me. Awful fancies would flush up into my happiness, turning it all into hatred for your past.

LISA (interrupting reproachfully). Victor!

KAReNIN. Forgive me, Lisa. I only tell you this because I don't want to hide a single thought from you. I want you to know how bad I am, and what a weakness I've got to fight down. But don't worry, I'll get past it. It's all right, dear. (He bends over, kissing the child on the head.) And I love him, too.

LISA. Dearest, I'm so happy. Everything has happened in my heart to make it as you'd wish.

KAReNIN. All?

LISA. All, beloved, or I never could say so.

[Enter the NURSE L. U.

NURSE. Your secretary has come back.

[LISA and KAReNIN exchange glances.

LISA. Show him in here, nurse, and take Misha, will you?

NURSE. Come along, my pet. It's time for your rest.

[Exit NURSE with the little boy, R.

KAReNIN (gets up, walks to the door). This will be Fedya's answer.

LISA (kissing Karenin). At last, at last we shall know when. (She kisses him.)

[Enter VOZNESeNSKY L. U.

KAReNIN. Well?

SECRETARY. He's not there, sir.

KAReNIN. Not there? He's not signed the pet.i.tion, then?

SECRETARY. No. But here is a letter addressed to you and Elizaveta Protosova.

[Takes letter from his pocket and gives it to KAReNIN.

KAReNIN (interrupting angrily). More excuses, more excuses. It's perfectly outrageous. How without conscience he is. Really, he has lost every claim to----

LISA. But read the letter, dear; see what he says.

[KAReNIN opens the letter.

SECRETARY. Shall you need me, sir?

Karenin. No. That's all. Thank you.

[Exit SECRETARY. KAReNIN reads the letter growing astonishment and concern. LISA watches his face.

(Reading.)

"Lisa, Victor, I write you both without using terms of endearment, since I can't feel them, nor can I conquer a sense of bitterness and reproach, self-reproach princ.i.p.ally, when I think of you together in your love. I know, in spite of being the husband, I was also the barrier, preventing you from coming earlier to one another. C'est moi qui suis l'intrue. I stood in your way, I worried you to death. Yet I can't help feeling bitterly, coldly, toward you. In one way I love both of you, especially Lisa Lizenska, but in reality I am more than cold toward you. Yes, it's unjust, isn't it, but to change is impossible."

LISA. What's all that for?

KAReNIN (standing L. of table C., continuing).

"However, to the point. I am going to fulfill your wishes in perhaps a little different way from what you desire. To lie, to act a degrading comedy, to bribe women of the streets for evidence--the ugliness of it all disgusts me. I am a bad man, but this despicable thing I am utterly unable to do. My solution is after all the simplest. You must marry to be happy. I am the obstacle, consequently that obstacle must be removed."

LISA (R. of table). Victor!

KAReNIN (reading). Must be removed? "By the time this letter reaches you, I shall no longer exist. All I ask you is to be happy, and whenever you think of me, think tender thoughts. G.o.d bless you both.

Good-bye. FeDYA."

LISA. He's killed himself!

KAReNIN (going hurriedly up stage L. and calls of). My secretary! Call back my secretary!

LISA. Fedya! Fedya, darling!