Rebel Walking: Heaven Sent Part 12

"You can't push him away when he loves you like this."

"Love? Taron doesn't love anyone but himself."

"Haha. Yes, and you," he says through deep laughter.

"I care a lot for your brother, which is why I can't drag him down."

"You should let him decide whether you're dragging him down." I look over at him and smile.

"Look at you, getting all romantic."

"Just calling it like I see it." I let him get the last word in on the conversation, but leave the room with no intention of listening to him. He's just watching out for his brother. If he only knew about the baby, he'd probably tie me up and hand-deliver me to Taron.

I hope Dylan is found soon, so I can move on without Holden watching over me. Our plan is to leave in the morning for a quick flight into New York and back the next day. Eaven is flying me in so I can help her pick out her wedding dress. She's so excited, and I miss her. We talk everyday, but the fact that I haven't told her about the baby is killing me inside. I know she'll be hurt that I'm holding back that kind of information, but I need to wait until I have a plan. A plan that is better than letting a band fall apart because I need rescued yet again.

I push Eaven back daily when she says she wants to visit me at the cabin.

I'd love to see her and hear more about her experiences, but I need to do this for myself. She's always been there for me.

Her friendship means more to me than anything and she's always been my rock. Her family took me in during a time that I had no one else. It's time I fight for myself and come up with a plan to stand independently.

I sit and submit a few of my photos to a site that helps photographers get l i nked to magazines and models who might be interested in working with them. Before I finish loading all of the pictures I get a message from a magazine wanting my close up of Taron that I submitted. I don't respond yet because I can't decide if I want to introduce myself into the professional world as a photographer of rock. I'm going to talk t o Eaven tomorrow and see what she thinks since this is a pa.s.sion we have together.

I start to sort more pictures and another message comes through. An author wants one of my pictures as a cover to her novel. This makes me smile. I send her a quick reply in hopes to be able to help her. She's looking for a hot guy in a band. I'm pretty sure that I've got that covered.

I begin to scan through my pictures and I'm drawn back to a time where life was simple. I wasn't running from a psycho. My heart wasn't completely wrapped around a guy I can't be with, and I definitely wasn't carrying his baby. I scroll through the shots of one of his last concerts at home before my nightmares began. I come across a shot that has me pause. I lock eyes with the s.e.xiest man alive and feel his love, desire, and energy straight through to my core. Tears fill my eyes as I force myself to close the laptop.

He pulls at me even half-way across the country. I've held my phone in my hands every single day and talked myself out of just dialing his number.

Then I remember why I can't call him. I can't hear his voice again, because it would be so easy to forget why I'm fighting to keep him away.

Taron Today we play at the Fillmore in Detroit. This show is exclusively Rebel Walking and I am ready to break out of this funk that I've been in. I've been talking with a fan girl named Kylee. She is from Detroit and I plan to hook up with her after the show. She seems feisty and reminds me a lot of Ivy. It's probably not the best way to get over her, but I'm ready for a little spice and so far all of the other girls have bored the f.u.c.k out of me. I haven't hooked up since Ivy left a couple of weeks ago.

This girl seems like she could be real entertaining and I look forward to hanging with her after the concert.

I notice her in one of the front row seats that I sent her VIP tickets for. Her halter top and short skirt catches my eye and I start to look forward to the after party where she and I will get to hook up.

I send a security officer to escort them back to me once the show is over.

I'm talking with everyone when Dave brings her in.

s.h.i.t, she is hot. Her body is similar to Ivy's, but she has straight, reddish colored hair. One of the first things that I notice about her is her green eyes, but it's her blatant confidence that has my d.i.c.k rising to the occasion. I stand to greet her, but I find myself being pulled by the hand out of the room by this female. This is hot, but d.a.m.n it reminds me of Ivy. Is that why I'm into her? I don't care at this point what it is that's doing it for me. I'm just eager to get it done. I change our direction when she turns us down the wrong hall. I know where we need to be. I already made sure there was a place that I could slip away to with her.

I open the door to the small back room and we are instantly connected to each other. Our lips and tongues are fighting for control and I'm good until she nibbles my bottom lip, just like Ivy always did. I pull back from her face and turn to walk away. "f.u.c.k! I can't get her out of my head!" I start to pace and begin to rant about how she has f.u.c.ked up my life and that I need to get over it when Kylee grabs my arm stopping me in my tracks.

"Who has you all twisted?

d.a.m.n."

"It's just a girl that has f.u.c.ked me over and I can't take anymore of the me mo r i e s that pop up.

She's everywhere, except in my f.u.c.king arms.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you back here."

"Don't be sorry. I wanted to meet you, and I don't mind listening to you and your girl problems."

"Huh!

Problems!

That's hilarious. She has me so messed up that I can't even see straight. My life is just a daily boring routine since she left. It p.i.s.ses me off that I can't seem to get over her."

"You should go find her."

"I know where she is, but she doesn't want to see me."

"You so sure about that? If this girl tied you up this tight, she must feel something for you, or she is a huge b.i.t.c.h for leaving you. Did you cheat on her?"

"I didn't even consider another girl when she was with me. h.e.l.l I can't even get with a girl since she left me.

f.u.c.k my life."

"Like I said, you need to go find her. Life is too short not to go after what you want in life. You have to fight for her if she means this much to you."

"Yea, she is going to be in New York City tomorrow at the same time that we are there. Maybe I need to go see her. Kylee, I'm sorry that you had to deal with my moodiness. I really didn't mean for this to play out like this."

"It's all good! I got to make out with a rock star. You can message me anytime you need to talk. I'm just happy to get to see you. Your band is really amazing and you're kind of cool too!"

"Well, thanks. I'll make sure security gets you home safely." I lean over and give this perfect piece of a.s.s a hug goodbye. I don't regret pulling away from her before it went anywhere.

Maybe tomorrow I can get through to Ivy and see if she has really moved on.

We hit New York and the rush of playing here has everyone else pumped.

It's just another show for me. This is just another day that I'll do the rocker thing without the rocker s.e.x.

Holden sent a text saying he's bringing her to New York today for some girlie s.h.i.t. My plan is to see her. I want to see her face and then I'll know if she's happy. Maybe then I can get her out of my head and she can quit c.o.c.k blocking me every night.

We are setting up for tonight's show and my mind keeps drifting to her.

I pull out my phone and scroll to her picture. The picture that has haunted me every f.u.c.king day. What I would give to be back in that moment in time. I would do so many things differently.

Talon walks up behind me and catches a glimpse of the picture. "Go see her, man."

"I'm thinking about it."

"Ev headed out about thirty minutes ago. I have security with her, so I can get you an address."

"Yea, get me the address." He smiles a huge grin and pulls out his phone in the process of sending the text he starts to hara.s.s me. "To use your own words against you, it's nice to see you p.u.s.s.y whipped for a change."

"Shut the f.u.c.k up. I'm not whipped."

"You are! Nothing wrong with it.

I wouldn't change it for the world. I love when Ev p.u.s.s.y whips me."

It's awesome that Talon is so happy. To see him smile again is such a relief. He deserves to find someone as great as Ev. She pulled him out of his personal h.e.l.l and continues to build him up everyday. I'm f.u.c.king jealous of their connection, but happy for them.

"She'd kick your a.s.s if she heard you say that."

"I'd let her," he says through the s.h.i.t eating grin that I mastered a long time ago.

He shows me the address as soon as the text comes through. I don't waste time talking to anyone as I head out to the dress shop. A couple of months ago the thought of being near a wedding dress would have shriveled my s.h.i.t up, but now I don't care where she is. I just want to see for myself that she's happy.

I enter the shop and the brightness of all of the white dresses practically bl i nds me. I'm approached by two women as soon as I enter. "Can we help you, sir?"

"Just looking for someone."

"Can you tell me who you're looking for and we'll see if we can get them for you."

"Nah it's ok."

"Sir, we can't let you go back there. We're doing a fitting that is highly secured. You will need to wait here, or let me know who you want."

"Ivy Adams," I say defeated by these prissy b.i.t.c.hes.

"Thank you, sir. I'll be right back." I wait only for the lady to return with Dave from our security team on her heel.

"What up, Taron?"

"Nothing man! Just want to see Ivy."

"Eaven said Ivy doesn't want to see you."

"It isn't a question. I'm not asking to see her. I'm here to f.u.c.king see her.

You're my security and you're here because we sent you here. Get the f.u.c.k out of my way or I'll have you fired."

"Taron, sorry man, but Eaven said to send you away until they are finished in there."

"I don't give a s.h.i.t what anyone says. Step back before I f.u.c.king obliterate you among all of these white f.u.c.ked up dresses." I leave him and hear the sales lady ask if she should call the police. I don't wait to find out what they decide to do. I move through curtain after curtain and seem to know where I need to go. I know I'm where I need to be when I see Eaven with a huge white dress on, looking in a mirror.

Eaven's eyes meet mine the second I come through the curtain. I begin to search for Ivy and Ev steps down from a block to move toward me.

She begins to whisper. "What are you doing?"

"I need to see her."

"Taron, don't mess up my day with her. I haven't seen my best friend in weeks."

"I won't." I look down at her dress and I can't even pretend to like it.

"Don't chose that one. It makes your a.s.s look big." She slugs me on the shoulder.

"I know, you a.s.s. I'm trying to get my sales lady to listen to me. I want simple, she's looking for a sale."

"Do you want me to handle her?"

"No! Please don't!"

"Eaven what are you doing out there?" I listen to the voice that I wanted to hear come from a dressing room further down.

"Which one, Ev?"

"Taron, don't!"

"Now, or I'll figure out which one on my own."

"d.a.m.n you. Fourth one from the mirror." I start to move when Ev grabs my arm to pull me back.

"I'm on your side. I want you both happy, and it seems like neither of you are there. I'm going to raise h.e.l.l about this dress in the shop. It'll just be you two in here."

I nod at her and compose myself during my short walk to the curtain that shields me from my girl.

"Ev, what the h.e.l.l? This dress sucks. I'm not wearing..." She stops talking when she sees me. I don't look at the dress. I don't care what she's wearing. I stare into the mirror at her Caribbean blue eyes. I keep my eyes locked with hers until I reach her. She doesn't move. She watches me the entire time until I inhale her scent. Her eyes drop closed and I see a tear fall.

"I miss you." My whisper into her hair causes her to shiver, and I'm dying to put my hands on her. To b.u.mp up against her and show her how much I miss her. I move my hand to her face and brush across her cheek to stop the tear from falling any further. When I do, her eyes open slowly and I see sadness.

Nothing but sadness.

I run my hands down both of her arms, but never take my eyes away from hers in the mirror. She closes her lids slowly and inhales when my hands travel down to her hands. I lock a few fingers in each of her hands and watch her take all of this in.

"Let me in, Ivy." Her eyes open as I talk.

"Let me in and don't push me away. My life is f.u.c.ked up with you gone. I need you to feel this everyday. I need to feel the way you affect me just being near. You're driving me crazy and I can't do it anymore. Please Ivy, let me in." I stop there because her tears are falling a lot faster. She inhales sharply and lets out a small sob. I watch her go from sad and vulnerable to mad and ready for the kill in a matter of seconds.

"Taron, I told you I can't. Get out! I can't be with you."

"Why can't you?"

"I already told you."

"Oh because you love cowboy."

She turns quickly to face me and tries to lie.

"Yes."