Quips and Quiddities Part 50

Croquet-- A dainty and difficult sport in its way.

Thus I counsel the sage, who to play at it stoops, _Belabour thy neighbour and spoon through thy hoops_.

FREDERICK LOCKER, _London Lyrics_.

We are never so thoroughly tired of the company of any one else as we are sometimes of our own.

W. HAZLITT, _Characteristics_.

_ON A VERY TRIFLING FELLOW BEING KNIGHTED._

What! Dares made a knight! No, don't be frighted; He only lost his way, and was be-nighted.

RICHARD GRAVES (1715-1804).

Satan was a blunderer, an introducer of _novita_, who made a stupendous failure. If he had succeeded, we should all have been worshipping him, and his portrait would have been more flattered.

_Machiavelli_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Romola_.

You see the goodly hair that Galla wears; 'Tis certain her own hair: who would have thought it?

She swears it is her own, and true she swears, For hard by Temple Bar last day she bought it.

SIR JOHN HARYNGTON (1561-1612).

The worst of human maladies are the most transient also--love that is half despairing, and seasickness that is quite so.

_Leslie_, in MALLOCK's _New Republic_.

_ON A SMALL EATER._

Simplicity is best, 'tis true, But not in every mortal's power: If thou, O maid, canst live on dew, 'Tis proof thou art indeed a flower.

R. GARNETT, _Idylls and Epigrams_.

On Walpole's remarking that, of two pictures mentioned, one was "a shade above the other in point of merit," [Hook] replied: "I presume you mean to say it was a _shade over_ (_chef d'oeuvre_)."

R. H. BARHAM, _Diary_.

The nightingales are all about-- Their song is everywhere-- Their notes are lovely (though they're out So often in the air).

The zephyr, dancing through the tops Of ash and poplar, weaves Low melodies, and scarcely stops To murmur "By your leaves!"

Night steeps the pa.s.sions of the day In quiet, peace, and love.

Pale Dian, in her tranquil way, Kicks up a shine above.

H. S. LEIGH, CAROLS OF c.o.c.kAYNE.

Tinder--a thin rag; such, for instance, as the dresses of modern females, intended to catch the sparks, raise a flame, and light up a match.

HORACE SMITH, _The Tin Trumpet_.

_ON DRESS._

He who a gold-finch strives to make his wife Makes her, perhaps, a wag-tail all her life.

_A Collection of Epigrams_ (1727).

[Of Lafayette]: The world is surprised that there was once an honest man: the situation remains vacant.

HEINRICH HEINE, _Thoughts and Fancies_.

_ON AILING AND ALE-ING._

Come, come, for trifles never stick: Most servants have a failing; Yours, it is true, are sometimes sick, But mine are always ale-ing.

HENRY LUTTRELL.

Sir George Rose, being introduced one day to two charming young ladies, whose names were Mary and Louisa, instantly added, with a bow, "Ah, yes! _Marie-Louise_--the sweetest _pear_ I know!"

_Macmillan's Magazine._

_TO A CRUEL FAIR ONE._

'Tis done; I yield; adieu, thou cruel fair!

Adieu, th' averted face, th' ungracious cheek!

I go to die, to finish all my care, To hang--to hang?--yes, round another's neck.

LEIGH HUNT (from the French).

_Bishop (reproving delinquent Page)._ "Wretched boy! _Who_ is it that sees and hears all we do, and before whom _even I_ am but as a crushed worm?"

_Page._ "The Missus, my Lord!"

_Punch._