The Unexpected Discovery Of Love 61 Just Hold Me

Noah Halwey once said, "The thing that scares us the most is when familiar things operate in unfamiliar ways." Carl was almost certain he could predict her every reaction. Thinking back, he realized how stupid he was to a.s.sume he knows her. She has become so unpredictable, it scares him. From when they first met, for the nine months he has lived with her, she was never like this. She was always smiling at him, her eyes danced with innocence and curiosity like a child, only now, they seem dead.

He didn't even know what to think or do other than to hold her as she had requested. But as a man, could he really have no reaction when she was caressing him? They were so close, the air had turned hot. The movement of her hands wasn't helping either. He also couldn't ask her to stop because he wanted this and he didn't want her to push him away again. He could only endure the torture. While he was contemplating these matters, he didn't realize when she moved, her head was no longer on his chest but on his neck. Once he felt her hot breath against his neck, he turned stiff, his skin was already covered with gooseb.u.mps. 'This is dangerous, controlling yourself is laborious indeed.' He thought.

But thankfully her breathing evened, he knew she had fallen asleep. He finally relaxed, he was out of danger. He couldn't possibly do anything to her right now, she would only regret and hate him when it's over so he was glad that she stopped touching him. But her legs where still between his, suddenly, she lifted her legs a little almost touching his crotch. Gently, he pushed her legs away. Only a few minutes later, she lifted her leg, placing it on him. If she'd slightly adjust her body, she would be pressing him down. The more he thought of their compromising position, the more self-control he exercised. He was having a struggle, to leave the bed or stay with her. The outcome of both decisions didn't look good either. If he stayed, could he control himself? If he didn't, would she push him away again? 

He was already worn out because he didn't sleep well, now he was conflicted. His stomach growled, realizing he even skipped breakfast. How frustrated could one be? He made up his mind to eat first, then he would come back. Slowly, he pushed her away, then he rushed to the kitchen to have his breakfast. When he returned, she was still asleep, or so he thought, as he was about to lay down, she opened her eyes. He paused, staring at her, waiting for a reaction. 'I shouldn't have left,' he thought. "I asked you to hold me, but you left. If you didn't want to, why didn't you tell me?" She asked. He was caught off guard again, how did she arrive at this conclusion? "I want to hold you, I want to touch you, there are many things I want to do with you but I'm not sure if you'll regret it tomorrow, or if you'll suddenly push me away again" He said, taking a seat on the bed. "Oh..." 

"Don't leave again, just hold me." He nodded his head as he smiled. "Then, don't tempt me." But his words fell on deaf ears as she began to tease him. She turned around, backing him, as he held her. Slowly she inched closer until he could feel her ss on his lower body. He knew she was doing it on purpose but he couldn't scold her. Avoiding temptation, he turned his lower body away from her. He had no idea why she suddenly became so bold as to tease him. 'What is wrong with her?' he thought. For the nine months they've lived together, the closest she had come to teasing him was on her birthday when she asked for a ma.s.sage. Then she was even embarra.s.sed, now, she was so close to him he could feel her curves if he moved his hands.

"Are you awake?" He heard her ask. "Yeah," he replied. "I'm sorry.. for transferring aggression." She apologised, may be his hug had made feel so guilty she decided to apologise or she was already tired too. "What happened?" He asked softly. "I don't know." He wasn't sure she was telling the truth but he didn't want to force her so he went along with what she said. "Tell me this, were you always at the orphanage?" She stiffened as she recalled unpleasant memories. "I lived in a few homes..." She said. Because he felt her stiffen, he pulled her closer, forgetting about his "almost loss of control".

"Can I ask why?" He questioned. "Not now," she said turning around and their eyes met, she could feel that thirst again by looking at him, that need, that hunger she needed to satisfy, she began tracing the contour of his lips while maintaining eye contact as she moved in for a kiss.