A Saiyan Reincarnation 1 Chapter 1: God's Plan

Joe Smith a normal everyday man who was your typical closet weeb living a normal everyday life was on his way home when suddenly a Truck-kun came outta nowhere and f.u.c.ked his s.h.i.t up. G.o.d taking pity for accidentally killing the wrong person granted him a wish. His wish was to be born in the Dragon Ball world as a saiyan. G.o.d agreed and sent him away a few moments later a newborn saiyan baby was born in Age 724, thirteen years before the destruction of planet Vegeta...

As my consciousness slowly returned I tried to open my eyes and move around but to my surprise my eyelids were heavy and my body felt abnormal as if I was submerged in water but instead of sinking I was floating I could feel something covering my mouth and nose which I a.s.sumed was allowing me to breathe I could hear distorted beeping noises in the background. My mind was still shaken from the shock of getting run over by a f.u.c.king truck everything after that is blank, could I be in a hospital that thought was quickly shattered when my eyes slowly opened what I saw was something staring back at me, something completely bizarre and alien yet for some reason familiar it had a humanoid appearance with purple wrinkly skin devoid of any hair a large elongated head with yellow spots on it and a wide mouth it reminded me of an old man. I wracked my brain like never before forcing it to work overtime to try to explain my situation almost to the point where I felt like smoke would start steaming out of my head I looked around to observe and take in every detail of the strange environment I was in. I was more confused than scared until the creature backed away from the watery gla.s.s screen separating us that I could see its iconic and indistinguishable armor that was when I immediately put the pieces into place I AM IN DRAGON BALL whoa whoa wait wait what!?!? Holy s.h.i.t! I tried to calm myself as I was equally as excited as I was panicked being a huge Dragon Ball Fan, s.h.i.t I really don't remember anything after I was. .h.i.t by the Truck is this a dream? No way this feels way to real I felt something odd on my lower back my arms and legs were still immobile but this thing which was freely flowing with the water felt like an extra appendage it's a tail! I've been reincarnated as a saiyan I felt extreme joy at the thought of fulfilling a long time childhood dream of going super saiyan and shooting a kamehameha wave I was bit too distracted and caught up in my fantasies that I did not notice the creature talking until I heard the old Appule lookalike say.

Alien : "Vocado remember that name."

Vocado as in Avocado? I thought saiyans were all named after vegetables? f.u.c.k it this is probably non-canon anyways. I spent the next few months inside of this incubation chamber floating and growing until I was toddler sized over time I saw my father of this world drop by for a few seconds to check up on my power level and promptly leave with a disappointed look on his face I had a power level of 5 I was born a low cla.s.s saiyan not exactly my desired reaction or power level but f.u.c.k it saiyans are broken with abilities like the zenkai boost and with my knowledge of the Dragon Ball world I should have the advantage I figured out I was born in Age 724 that means I have some 13 odd years or so before this place gets blown to s.h.i.t by Frieza. Wait in the Manga it was Age 739 that planet Vegeta was destroyed am I in the anime or the manga continuity? Wait is this GT or Super or is it like a Xenoverse multiverse kinda thing. I pretty much spent my time rehearsing my knowledge of Dragon Ball to prepare for the future. My first goal should be getting stronger and traveling to Yardrat to learn instant transmission an incredibly handy technique that essentially like the name implies is teleportation. The Z-fighters won't be a thing for at least another forty years so I have plenty of time to get strong before characters like Cell and Majin Buu appear.

As I grew I could begin to move my arms and legs and even my tail more freely now, I got really bored of waiting so I started kicking and banging on the gla.s.s screen to get that old Aliens attention to let me out. He looked back at me from all the commotion I was stirring up, he clicked a b.u.t.ton and after a beep noise the tube connected to my mouth retracted and the water began to drain I wobbly stood on my feet it had been months since I stood up and these small feet still felt weird to me compared to my old ones the gla.s.s split like a door in the middle and disappeared like it was never there I took my first few steps outside the incubator and took a big breath of air and started stretching and doing warm ups to adjust to my new body. The Alien was babbling on about something when I cut him off short wanting to get out of this room as soon as possible and explore the world

Vocado : "Hey! Shut up and get me my clothes old man."

The Alien stood there surprised and shocked as if it had just seen a ghost it's dumb expression made me glare at it with disdain I hate having to repeat myself to others especially idiots who can't catch a hint.

Alien : "YOU! YOU CAN TALK?!, How is that possible in all my years I have never heard a Sai-"

Vocado : "Shut The h.e.l.l Up! Of Course I can talk with your non stop babbling every day how could I not learn! now go get me Clothes! Old man."

Alien : "Bu-but i'm a woman."

I spat out the leftover water in my mouth from the incubator in surprise if this is a chick what do the guys look like? Wait does that mean Appule wasn't even a guy but a girl hmm does that mean they're like a weird race of traps... I'm getting sidetracked I walked towards a familiar locker like closet that was similar to the one where krillin and gohan got their armor from during the Namek Arc. I found a suit similar to the one Nappa wore I wasn't digging the whole underwear only thing so I dug around until I found a blue bodysuit as I was changing I was rudely interrupted by that annoying Alien.

Alien : "Hey um h.e.l.lo excuse me your not allowed to go in there or grab that."

Vacado : "f.u.c.k Off Already!"

I walked out of the room and made my way outside I felt unnaturally angry and hostile I hadn't noticed it until now but maybe this saiyan body is affecting my psychology as well after all most saiyans are battle crazy freaks. Vegeta was practically s.p.a.ce Hitler on steroids and the only thing that got him to cool off was getting laid by Bulma. The landscape was a mix of the Dragon Ball Minus Manga and the Bardock Movie this area was remote I looked back and noticed that I had come out of a s.p.a.ceship instead of a building like the one Goku and Broly were born in strange that doesn't add up to what I remember.

Alien : "WAAAAIT Please wait! (*pant *pant) you need to (*pant) get back in the ship I need to prep you for departure."

Vocado : "departure?"

Alien : "Yes your set to conquer planet Derth in the name of the great Lord Frieza you weren't supposed to wake up yet. It looks like I have to send you out earlier than expected."

Vocado : "How long will it take to get there?"

Alien : "It's an uncharted distant planet so at least Five years."

Vocado : "Five Years! You want me to sit in a s.p.a.ce pod for Five Years! h.e.l.l No I just started walking after months and you want me to sit around with my tail in my hand for Five More Years! Quit dreaming s.h.i.t stain!"

Alien : "No wait you don't understand its an order you must if I mess this up again Lord Frieza will surely kill me! Please just get back inside so I can send you off."

Vocado : " Again?, you want me to trust you fine then let's make a deal."

Alien : "A deal?"

Vocado : "Yeah I want to choose which planet I get sent too and I'm gonna need some equipment."

Alien : " I-I can't do that"

Vocado : "Sure you can who's gonna notice which planet you send me off too and a few missing equipment surely it's not as important as your life right? ."

Alien : "But I really can't what if Lord Frieza hears about this."

Vocado : "You don't really have a choice either you listen and comply or I'll just refuse to go and if you try to screw me over and send me to planet Derth I'll come back and rip your spine out when im older."

I said with a threatening tone an audible gulp noise could be heard from the Alien it was a total pushover this is gonna make things a lot easier for me. After a few moments of hesitation the Alien finally caved in and agreed I walked back and entered a pod like the one Raditz arrived on Earth in with a few extra supplies.

Alien : "O-okay fine but do you even know any planets or where you want to go? You were just born a few months ago how could you possibly deci.."

Vocado : "Earth, Send me to planet Earth oh and I'm gonna need some equipment."

Alien: " Equipment but that's..."

Vocado: "Eeeh! You want me to go or Not! If you don't then fine I guess I'll just stay here and i'll have to go tell my father to report you to Lord Frieza"

Alien :"No No wait Okay Okay!"

Appula was trained to raise and send saiyans off to distant planets while they were still infants so she never had to worry about getting into any conflicts with the saiyans being born a timid and meek person. But this child was causing her such intense anxiety she was lucky enough to survive her first mistake when she accidentally sent a saiyan baby into the sun luckily it was just a low cla.s.s warrior baby else it would have been immediate torture and execution by those savage saiyans but because she had dedicated many decades of her life raising and sending off saiyan children she was spared but not before the child's mother beat her into near death and blew off an arm. If she messes up even slightly her fate will not end well so she agreed to the child's outrageous demand influenced by her anxiety and PTSD of what another mistake could look like she was not able think clearly and agreed on all his demands and sent him off as quickly as possible to relieve her anxiety...

I got into the saiyan s.p.a.ce pod with a reddish scouter in hand and was sent off. The s.p.a.ce pod had a manual surprisingly with an English translation being programmed into the ship it showed my destination time as: 177 days. I spent the first day messing around with the scouter. A Scouter is a wearable, all-purpose computer that Frieza's army used they were mainly used to see power levels and sp.a.w.ned the infamous its OVER 9'000! Meme and were written off as useless. But these things were actually really amazing they could connect with the pod and were practically portable supercomputers. I also managed to convince that old Alien to give me an arm blaster like the one frieza soldiers have and some saibamen seeds my power level being low I figured better safe than sorry. I spent the next few days reading the manual it turns out this thing has a toilet and fridge I always wondered how saiyans could travel in these and not worry about food or basic needs. My body was still small so I was able to lay down instead of sit down inside when I had to sleep. When I finally arrived at earth I stopped by the exosphere to think about my next move. Where should I land and what should I do first? Hmm I had thought about it on the way here but I still had trouble deciding whether I should look for the dragon b.a.l.l.s or not but I would need the radar to find them. If I go meet master Roshi and trained under him it may drastically change the original story too much. I got it! I set the coordinates to land on top of Kami's Lookout I might need to do some explaining and apologize for the damage, but nothing ventured nothing gained! As the s.p.a.ce pod shot down to earth so began the story of a saiyan reincarnation.