Pucked: Pucked Over Part 26

Chapter 20.

Almost Truths RANDY.

I'm f.u.c.king Lily like it's the last time I'm ever going to have s.e.x. That's kind of how it feels. I almost thought about going bareback. Okay, not almost. I totally thought about going bareback with her, but then I'd have to explain about blood tests and how I never go bareback with anyone, ever-not even in high school when guys made notoriously bad decisions by saying things like they couldn't feel anything with a condom.

That's a load of s.h.i.t. Guys can feel fine through latex. Does it mute the sensation a bit? Yeah, sure. But that's not a bad thing considering how fast I'd blow if I wasn't wearing one. At least when Lily's involved.

I don't know what it is about her. I don't know why I'm so hung up, but I do know there's still a whole storm of conflict going on inside me over that stupid girl at the bar. I almost told Lily before I got inside her, which probably would have screwed things up-screwed the s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g. I stop worrying about things that didn't happen and focus on the feel of Lily around me.

She's moaning my name and clawing at my back and shoulders. She's about to come. The wave of gooseb.u.mps and her increase in volume tell me that. I reach between us and pinch her c.l.i.t. Lily throws her head back and cries out. If I had a free hand I'd skim the long, smooth line of her throat. But I'm keeping her from falling backward on the bed right now. I want her close.

Threading my fingers into her hair, I grip the satiny strands, forcing her chin down. Her eyes are fluttering up, her low sound of desire pushing me closer to the edge. Her p.u.s.s.y contracts around my c.o.c.k, so I rub her c.l.i.t until she covers my hand in a silent request to stop.

I keep one hand fisted in her hair, the other I press against her sternum. I move her over me, harder, faster until the entire universe comes to a screeching halt with the force of my o.r.g.a.s.m. It's like a G.o.dd.a.m.n hurricane, blasting through my body, blowing me apart.

When I'm done coming, I press my face into her neck. She's sweaty, but she smells sweet. She pushes her fingers through my hair, over and over.

"Randy? You okay?" she whispers.

I shudder and shake my head instead of nod like I'm supposed to.

"What's wrong?" She strokes down my back.

I don't know how to feel about her gentleness. I want it. I like it. I'm not used to it. I hold her tighter. "There was a bunny at the bar."

Her whole body goes rigid. It's understandable. I'm still inside her. I don't know why I feel compelled to disclose this.

"She wanted to come back to my room with me."

Her reply is quiet, reserved. "You don't have to tell me."

It almost sounds like she's pleading with me not to. But I can't stop.

"Nothing happened. I turned her down. Then I finally got your messages." My face is still buried against her neck. "And then you were here, and that's all I wanted."

Her voice wavers. "I'm glad I could come, then."

I lift my head and take her face in my hands. "Me, too."

I don't tell her the things I want to: that I haven't been with anyone else since we messed around at Alex's cottage. That was months ago, and we didn't even have s.e.x. I don't tell her how I think about her all the time and have to stop myself from texting her on a daily basis. Or that for a minute I considered sleeping with that girl in the bar because I was angry she couldn't make tonight work. And I don't tell her that my almost-actions have freaked me out because they're another way I'm like my dad. I don't say anything about how I want this to be more than just fun, but it can't be because I'm too much like my father.

One night Lily won't be there to save me from making the wrong choice, and I'll do to her what my dad did to my mom. I don't want to be responsible for wrecking anyone's life but my own.

So instead I kiss her, grab another condom, and do the thing I'm supposed to. What we've agreed on. I keep her up all night, providing endless o.r.g.a.s.ms.

At five forty-five in the morning, she calls for a ride. She looks exhausted. She has dark circles under her eyes. I've left a bunch of hickies on her chest-at least it's not her neck. I pull on a pair of sweats and a shirt while I watch her dress. Then I decide I want one more quickie. I bend her over the dresser, flip her skirt up, pull her panties down far enough that I can get inside her, and make her come again. Once I'm finished straightening her up, I follow her out into the hall.

"You don't have to come down with me; I'm okay on my own."

"I know. I'm not."

"Oh." She looks confused, which is understandable since I haven't explained anything.

In the elevator, I pull her against me and rest my cheek on top of her head. I'm gonna be grumpy later from lack of sleep. I don't care right now, though.

Once we get to the lobby I walk her to the front doors.

"I thought you said you weren't coming out," she says.

I shrug, holding the door open, and follow after her. There's a small sedan with a guy leaning against the hood. I open the pa.s.senger door, toss her bag inside, and usher her in. She looks a little disappointed, until I slide in beside her.

"What're you doing?"

"Coming along so I can have more time with you."

"You're crazy. Aren't you leaving for Chicago this morning?"

"Not until later. I'll be back in plenty of time."

"Don't you need sleep?"

"I'll do that on the ride back, and on the plane. C'mere." I hold an arm out, and she snuggles into me. I pull her onto my lap and stretch out on the backseat.

I know this is a problem. I want to do more than just have s.e.x with her. I want to make the problem worse. "You should move to Chicago."

She laughs. It's tired-sounding and only half awake. "Alex bought Sunny a house last week. She's moving in over the holidays."

"You should move then, too. Think of all the free o.r.g.a.s.ms that would come along with that."

I get another laugh. She snuggles in closer. "I'm o.r.g.a.s.med out right now."

"I'd be able to dole them out regularly instead of all at once if you lived closer."

"Sounds nice. I'd still need to find a job, though."

"I'm happy to make a call. Like I said before, there's a lot of opportunity in Chicago for skating instructors. You're amazing on the ice-like, Olympic ability."

She makes this noise, like a huff.

"It's true."

"I almost went to the trials," she says quietly.

"Almost? What happened?" I hope she'll tell me more than Miller did.

"It's an expensive sport, like hockey. My dad stopped paying child support, and the money wasn't there for training, even with sponsors."

"s.h.i.t, Lily. That's just-" Losing her chance because of finances seems criminal.

"s.h.i.tty?"

"That's not really a strong enough word. What would it take to get you back in?" I wonder what kind of strings I could pull to make it happen for her.

She laughs and lifts her head. "I'm too old, and I don't do pairs anymore. It would take years to get back to where I was. Plus there's still the money."

"Can't you get it out of your dad? Where is he? Want me to hunt him down?"

She laughs. It's breathy and embarra.s.sed now. "You can probably look him up in the hockey rosters. He played for the NHL. My mom was a one-night stand who ended up pregnant. She kept me, and he bailed."

"What's his last name?"

"Head. He played for North Carolina for about five years. He was good, but not great-third string. Last time I heard, he was living on an island somewhere, and he'd blown most of his money-hence the lack of payments."

"That doesn't make it okay." I'm angry that her potential was squandered.

"Not everyone gets to live their dream, Randy." Her eyes are soft when she looks at me. "Don't feel sorry for me. I have more than a lot of people. We're almost at the rink. You should kiss me until we get there."

I sleep all the way back to the hotel. I have just enough time to get packed up and meet everyone at the bus.

Miller shuffles over, drops his bag, and sighs. "I need some serious sleep."

"Yeah." I'm not capable of full conversations with words and stuff.

"I can't wait until Sunny's in Chicago permanently," he mumbles.

"Not long now." I stuff my hands in my pockets, thinking about the conversation with Lily in the car.

"Just a few more weeks. How was your night?"

"It got a lot better when Lily showed up."

"Definitely a better option than the bunny I took off your hands," Lance says.

Miller looks at me, his expression stony. "You were gonna bunny f.u.c.k?"

I shoot Lance a look. "No. She was persistent and couldn't take a hint."

Miller pinches the bridge of his nose. "You need to watch yourself, b.a.l.l.s."

"I'm not gonna make your life more difficult, Miller. Lily came to get balled. That's it."

He takes a couple of deep breaths and runs his hand through his hair, making the short strands stand on end. "It's not my life I'm worried about. I'm too tired to deal with this right now." He leaves me standing there and gets on the bus.

I don't bother to sit next to him since we've got lots of room. I take a seat near the front. I try to sleep all the way to the airport, but I can't. All I can think about is what might've happened if Lily hadn't shown up.

Last night I was just jacked up, but today I know why.

I jam in my earbuds and cue up the thirty second video I made last night when Lily fell asleep on me. Then I set it on repeat.

It's not only about fun anymore. Not for me anyway.

Chapter 21.

The Boot LILY.

The door to my room is locked, and my mom is yelling at me through it. And pounding. If she breaks her hand, I'm not going to feel bad.

Okay, I'll feel a little bad, but this is ridiculous. I'm an adult. I get to make my own decisions, whether they're good or bad.

I didn't tell her I went to see Randy after dress rehearsal last night. The hickies and bite marks decorating my chest gave it away. I didn't notice them, being extra exhausted from my night of stellar s.e.x, until my mom loudly pointed them out.

I shove a bunch of clothes in a bag and call Sunny. She's hard to hear over my mother's lecture-yelling.

"What's going on? Is that your mom?"

"She found out I went to see Randy."

"And she's freaking out this much? Wow."

"Can I come crash at your place for a few days?"

"Of course. Want me to pick you up?"

Sunny's such an awesome friend. "That'd be great."

"I'll be there in fifteen. Should I come up?"

"Probably not."

"Okay."

I end the call and keep shoving clothes and things into my bag. I can't get to the bathroom for my toiletries, but I can always come back later. I open the door and step back in case my mom decides to come flying in.

She props her hands on her hips. "Where do you think you're going?"