Protector. Part 14

"Yeah, but I don't think you're ready for five card stud."

"How about board games?"

Jane grimaced.

"Pleeeese . . . " Emily begged.

Jane let out a weary sigh. "What's the board game?"

"I'll get it!" Emily jumped off her chair and ran into the living room. Jane reluctantly followed her and sat down on the couch. Emily opened up a wooden trunk that was wedged across the far wall near the fireplace. After rummaging through the trunk, she brought out a large white box with blue stars across lid. She slammed the trunk shut and ran across to the chair opposite from Jane. Emily opened the board game on the coffee table that sat between them and arranged the playing pieces. "The game's called 'Think!'"

"'Think?' What the h.e.l.l is that?"

"I don't know. It belongs to Mommy and Daddy. I just liked the box cover." Emily proudly held the cover up to show Jane. "It's got stars all over it!"

"What about Monopoly? Or checkers?"

"Mommy and Daddy don't have those." Emily was quickly separating the colored pieces and sliding Jane's share across the coffee table.

"So, what's the point of this game?"

"I've only seen Mommy and Daddy play it when A.J.'s Mommy and Daddy were over here."

"Who's A.J.?"

"She was a friend from school. She doesn't live here anymore."

"I see." Jane might have engaged Emily more but she found herself fixating on the taste of whiskey. Normally, after dinner, she'd down a beer or two, followed by a shot or more of whiskey. Her eyes trailed over to the Lawrences' liquor cabinet.

Emily was deeply engrossed in setting up the game board. "You roll the dice and that tells you how many squares you can move on the board. But first, you have to answer one of the questions from this deck of cards." Emily gathered together the deck and placed it in the center of the board.

Jane quickly turned her attention back to Emily. "What kind of questions?"

"I don't know." Emily picked up the instruction booklet. Jane examined the board, trying to understand the direction of the game. "This looks ridiculous. It goes in a circle. There's no 'Lose a turn' or 'Go to jail' squares-"

Emily read from the instruction booklet. " 'The game of Think has no winners or losers."

"Oh, s.h.i.t. When did the Communists start designing board games?"

Emily continued to read. "'It is a way to in . . . inter . . . ' "

Jane took the booklet from her and continued reading aloud. " 'It is a way to interface with other players and gain insight into their lives.' Oh, Christ! It's not the Communists! It's the American Psychiatric a.s.sociation!"

"Here's the dice. You be green."

"Are you sure there's not a little tiny therapist that comes with the game?"

"No, everything's out on the table," Emily said seriously. "You go first. Roll the dice!" Jane took a deep drag on her cigarette and rolled the dice. Emily picked up a card. "Okay, the first question is . . ." Emily looked up, just in time to see a ribbon of cigarette smoke pour from Jane's nose. "How do you make the smoke come out of your nose like that?"

"That's an easy question! Practice, practice, practice!" Jane took her green playing piece and started moving it across the board.

Emily placed her hand on top of Jane's hand, preventing her from moving to the next square. "That wasn't the question on the card. Put that back on the first square." Jane begrudgingly slid her playing piece to square number one. "Okay," Emily said, reading the card. " 'What is your biggest regret and why?' "

"My biggest regret was five minutes ago when I agreed to play this stupid game!" Jane once again started to move her playing piece.

"Are you gonna play this game right?"

"Wait! Wait! I'm not ready for question number two!" Jane said sarcastically.

"You're not playing fair!"

"Okay!" Jane once again shoved her playing piece to the first square. "Give me another d.a.m.n question!"

Emily discarded the first question and pulled another card. " 'When were you the happiest recently?' And be serious. "

Jane sat back, pondering the question. "Well, let's see." Her thoughts drifted off into the distance for a second. "Happy . . ." Jane tried her best to connect happy with anything in her life. "I don't know," she replied, temporarily lost in the moment.

"Can't you think of something?"

"Apparently not," Jane said, surprisingly annoyed at the sudden revelation. "Give me the deck."

Emily discarded the last card and handed the deck to Jane. Her eyes traced the top of the table. "You wanna know when I was the happiest most recently?"

"When?" Jane said, shuffling the deck.

"When I saw you walk in that little room at the police station where you work. The room with the funny mirror and green walls." Jane stopped shuffling the cards and paid attention to Emily, who turned and met Jane eye-to-eye. "I asked to talk to you 'cause I knew . . ." Emily hesitated.

"You knew what?"

Emily stared at Jane. "I knew . . ." Again, she hesitated, not sure she wanted to reveal her true feelings. "I knew you were . . . special. But I didn't know if you'd say 'yes.' So, when you walked in that little room, I was so happy." Emily smiled at the memory.

They sat in silence for several minutes.

"What do you say we put this game back in the trunk and get you out of here?" Jane's tone was subdued.

"Can't I stay here with you?" Jane was at a loss for words. "I don't want to go back to the foster house. They don't talk to me and they watch stupid TV shows," Emily said in earnest. "I want to stay with you. Please?"

"You don't have pajamas or a toothbrush-"

"Yes, I do. They're upstairs." Emily walked around the coffee table and placed her hand on Jane's shoulder. "Please let me stay with you. I promise I'll be good." Emily smiled softly.

Jane sized up Emily and let out a deep breath. "Alright," she said, giving in.

Emily threw her arms around Jane's neck, hugging her tightly. "Thank you!"

The gesture caught Jane off guard. She haltingly patted Emily on the back. "Okay, alright, that's good. Why don't you go change into your pajamas."

Emily walked across to the staircase. Jane pulled out another cigarette and lit up, her eyes resting once again on the liquor cabinet. "Jane?" Jane abruptly turned to Emily. The child was staring at the floor where the carpeting was cut away-the same spot where her parents met their death.

"What is it?" Jane asked.

"There used to be a big piece of carpet there."

"Uh-huh," was all Jane could manage.

Emily stared at the floor, her face expressionless. "Is that where they died?"

Jane realized she was holding her breath and let it out slowly. "Yes."

"You know what?"

"What?" Jane asked, expecting the worst.

"My mommy never liked that carpet." Emily turned to Jane, her face still devoid of emotion. "Would you please go upstairs with me?"

Jane stuck the cigarette in the corner of her mouth and stood up. "Sure." As she approached Emily, the child held out her hand. Jane grasped it and proceeded up the stairs. They stopped at the top of the stairs on the landing in front of Emily's bedroom. The door was shut.

"Let's get some light here," Jane said, flicking on the switch and illuminating the landing.

Emily stared at her bedroom door, not moving an inch. "I need to go to the bathroom," Emily said, her eyes pinned on the door. Jane led her several feet to the left and opened the bathroom door that sat adjacent to Emily's bedroom. She flipped on the light and released the child's hand.

Emily quickly grabbed Jane's hand. "Could you come in with me, please?"

"I'll wait out here. Nothing's going to happen."

Emily surveyed the bathroom from where she stood. "Please?"

The thought of 'This is not in my job description' flashed across Jane's mind for a millisecond. "Okay."

They walked into the cramped, black-and-white tiled room, Emily still holding tightly onto Jane's hand. "Keep the door open!" Emily said in a nervous tenor.

"You need to let go of my hand so you can do your business."

Emily reluctantly let go and pulled up her denim jumper. Jane turned to face the sink. Scanning the small s.p.a.ce, she was reminded of a case she had worked years ago where a father hid his drug stash in the medicine cabinet of his child's bathroom. The SOB figured that the cops would never look in his kid's bathroom. He was right. The cops didn't look in there. But Jane looked and found the father's secret cache of cocaine, which blew the case wide open. If Emily's father really did die because of a drug deal gone bad-a theory Jane wasn't willing to accept-there had to be pockets in the house where he stored his c.o.ke. It was a pattern of drug users. But the longer she stayed in the Lawrence house, the more Jane felt that Emily's father wouldn't go to any great lengths to hide drugs-if, indeed, there were any drugs to be found. Sweet Jesus, Jane thought, the man played a game called "Think." Was that the MO of an intrepid drug addict?

Nonchalantly, Jane uncovered the hamper lid and looked inside. Nothing. Not even a lonely sock. She popped open the medicine cabinet and found Emily's toothbrush, toothpaste and a bottle of children's aspirin. Emily flushed the toilet and crossed to the sink to wash her hands. "Brush your teeth," Jane instructed, handing Emily the toothpaste and toothbrush. Emily brushed her teeth as Jane turned to look out the small diamond shaped window that overlooked the backyard and alleyway. She watched as the appointed patrol car crept slowly down the alley, its lights radiating fifty feet forward. "See you in another half an hour," Jane said under her breath toward the patrol car. Emily turned to Jane, dribbling toothpaste down the front of her jumper.

Jane grabbed a hand towel. "Hey, watch what you're doing. Rinse your mouth." Emily complied. Jane knelt down so she was eye-to-eye with Emily and wiped the toothpaste off her jumper. Emily's attention was instantly drawn to Jane's scar on her right temple. She pulled Jane's hair away from her forehead. "What are you doing?"

Emily examined the scar, brushing her finger across the surface. "That really hurt, didn't it?" Emily said quietly.

Their eyes locked for only a second, but to Jane, it felt longer. It seemed that the stronger she built her comfortable wall, the more Emily was able to break it down. "Get your pajamas on."

Emily took hold of Jane's hand and walked back on to the narrow landing with her. Jane opened Emily's bedroom door and started to turn on the light switch when she turned to the child. "There's some carpet in there that's missing. I just wanted you to know that before you walked in there." Emily nodded apprehensively. Jane turned on the light. The ever-so-pink colors of the room felt startling to Jane. It also felt tainted. A cold-blooded killer stood in this room with a knife, dripping the blood of Emily's parents all over the plush, pink carpeting.

Emily carefully moved into the room, still holding onto Jane's hand. Her eyes followed the missing trail of pink carpeting that ran from the door to the closet. She stared at the closed white closet door and noted the residue left behind from where detectives dusted for prints. "Why's it all dirty?" Emily asked.

"That's not dirt. That's just something the cops did."

"People were in my room?" Emily said, her voice raising an octave. "Why?"

Jane promised herself she wouldn't take Emily down that rocky emotional road. She had no intention of making the kid remember anything about the crime, no matter how much Chris or Weyler persuaded her. Screw 'em. Screw the media. For that matter, screw the city. She walked into this a.s.signment completely against her will and she was not going to cooperate and drag Emily through h.e.l.l. So when the kid asked why the cops were in her room, Jane did what she hardly ever did. She lied. "Just procedure," Jane said, avoiding eye contact with her.

"How come you're lying to me?"

Jane turned to Emily. "What do you mean?"

"You're lying. I can tell. When I ask my mommy a question and she doesn't want to tell me the truth, she looks up in the air or she turns away."

"I-"

"I thought you didn't lie! That's why I picked you."

Jane's head started to pound. Her forced sobriety was beginning to hurt. The general numbness she had come to embrace over the years was quickly wearing off, leaving raw, exposed nerves. She wanted out of that little pink room, out of that house, out of that neighborhood and to fall back into a comfortable state of intoxication. The answer was going to call for tact and tact wasn't her forte. But she also knew her typical response of "f.u.c.k off" wasn't the way to go with the kid. "Okay," Jane said, "You really want the truth?"

"Yes," Emily said with an uneasy edge to her voice.

"Do you remember where you were when the policeman found you last Monday morning?"

"In my closet," Emily said, pointing to the door.

"Right." Jane struggled with putting her words together. "And that's the last thing you remember?"

"Yes."

"Well, you see, the police believe-and I'm not saying this is true-but they believe that possibly some person came up here. So that's why they had to come in and check out the room."

"Who was in here?" Emily's eyes widened.

"We're not sure. Just someone who didn't belong here."

"Well . . ." Emily looked at the carpet, trying to process everything. "Who was it?" Jane turned away and let out a deep breath. "Jane?" Emily said, her eyes still wide with concern. "Who was in my room?"

Jane turned back to Emily. "The person . . . or persons who . . . killed your parents."

Emily moved closer to Jane, still gripping her hand. "They were here?"

"I don't-"

"Is that why my carpet pieces are cut out?"

"Yes."

"Why just that part of the carpet?" Emily asked, pointing to the floor.

"Because they had to test that part of the carpet."

"Test it?"