Pride and Prejudice, a play by Mary Keith Medbery Mackaye Part 14

[_The gentlemen go out of the door._ JANE _and_ ELIZABETH _go into the recess and look from the window. There is a short pause._]

MRS. BENNET.

[_Enters, flurried, and looks about her._] Well, have they gone?

[MR. COLLINS _enters through the gla.s.s doors at the center. He sees_ MRS. BENNET.]

MR. COLLINS.

Oh, Madam, I am just returned from attending on Mr. Darcy. Such a privilege! He was most condescending. I was able to tell him that Lady Catherine was very well on Sat.u.r.day sennight. He is very like Lady Catherine. I am sure you must have been impressed by his distinguished manners.

MRS. BENNET.

Well, really, Mr. Collins!

[_A t.i.tter is heard from the recess where the girls are seated, and then_ JANE'S _voice_.]

JANE.

Oh, Lizzy, hush!

MR. COLLINS.

[_Hearing this, turns and discovers the two girls. Then he speaks to_ MRS. BENNET _with lowered voice, as if an idea had just come to him_.]

This meeting is most opportune. Will you kindly step this way for a moment? [_He draws_ MRS. BENNET _aside_.] May I hope, Madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Jane, in the matter on which we were speaking yesterday? I would solicit the honour of a private audience with her this morning.

MRS. BENNET.

Certainly, Mr. Collins. [_Hesitating._] But there have been some changes since then. Some things have happened--I think it is right you should know, that--that Jane is very likely to be soon engaged.

[_Encouragingly._] But there is Elizabeth. I cannot take it upon myself to say--I cannot possibly answer--but I do not know of any prepossession in her case, and I am sure she can have no objection to listen to you.

[MRS. BENNET _goes to the fire and stirs it_.]

MR. COLLINS.

[_As soon as she has finished._] Then Miss Elizabeth let it be, Madam. I was struck by her att.i.tude of respectful awe when I mentioned the Lady Catherine de Bourg. Such modesty and humility of mind cannot but recommend her to my patroness.

MRS. BENNET.

[_Looking rather astonished at this last speech, but recovering herself._] Yes, my daughter Elizabeth knows what is proper. She will be very happy to listen to you. Shall I call her now?

MR. COLLINS.

I think, Madam, there should be no further loss of time, as my leave of absence extends only to the coming Sat.u.r.day.

MRS. BENNET.

Very well--[_She goes to the recess where the two girls are talking together._] Jane, I want you upstairs. Lizzy, Mr. Collins has something he wishes to say to you.

ELIZABETH.

[_Suspicious and dismayed._] Dear ma'am, Mr. Collins must excuse me. I was just going away myself.

MRS. BENNET.

Now, no nonsense, Lizzy! I desire you will stay. Mr. Collins has something _very_ particular to say to you. [_As_ ELIZABETH _tries to escape_.] Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins.

Come, Jane--[MRS. BENNET _and_ JANE _go out_.]

MR. COLLINS.

[_Approaching_ ELIZABETH, _who does not move from the place where her mother left her_.] Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, your modesty so far from doing you any disservice rather adds to your other perfections.

But allow me to a.s.sure you that I have your respected mother's permission for this address. [_He escorts_ ELIZABETH _with clumsy gallantry to the sofa, then brings a chair and seats himself opposite to her_. ELIZABETH _has recovered herself sufficiently to begin to enjoy the humour of the situation_.] My fair cousin, you must have at least surmised that I am about to ask you to become the companion of my life.

And perhaps I had better begin by stating my reasons for this decision before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject. [ELIZABETH _is so overcome with laughter at this idea that she can hardly speak, or keep a decent countenance_.]

ELIZABETH.

Oh, I beg, Mr. Collins----

MR. COLLINS.

One moment. My reasons for marrying are, first,--that I think it a right thing for every clergyman to set the example of matrimony to his parish; second, I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; third, it is the particular advice of that very n.o.ble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness.

ELIZABETH.

[_With more command of her voice._] Believe me, Mr. Collins----

MR. COLLINS.

Excuse me--one moment. It remains only to be told why my views were directed to Longbourn instead of to my own neighbourhood. The fact is that, being as I am to inherit this estate after the death of your father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event took place. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem.

ELIZABETH.

Mr. Collins,--I----

MR. COLLINS.