Practice Book, Leland Powers School Part 13

A SCENE FROM KING HENRY IV.

"FALSTAFF'S RECRUITS."

_Introduction_.--Sir John Falstaff has received a commission from the King to raise a company of soldiers to fight in the King's battles. After drafting a number of well-to-do farmers, whom he knows will pay him snug sums of money rather than to serve under him, he pockets their money and proceeds to fill his company from the riff-raff of the country through which he pa.s.ses.

The scene is a village green before Justice Shallow's house. The Justice has received word from Sir John that he is about to visit him, and desires him to call together a number of the villagers from which recruits may be selected.

These villagers are now grouped upon the green, with Justice Shallow standing near.

Bardolph, Sir John Falstaff's corporal, enters and addresses Justice Shallow.

_Bardolph_.--Good morrow, honest gentlemen. I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

_Shallow_.--I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this county, and one of the King's justices of the peace. What is your good pleasure with me?

_Bardolph_.--My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentlemen, by heaven, and a most gallant leader.

_Shallow_.--He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword man.

How doth the good Knight now? Look! here comes good Sir John. _(Enter Falstaff_.) Give me your good hand, give me your worship's good hand.

By my troth you look well and bear your years very well; welcome, good Sir John.

_Falstaff_.--I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow.

Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me with half a dozen sufficient men?

_Shallow_.--Marry have we, sir.

_Falstaff_.--Let me see them, I beseech you.

_Shallow_.--Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, so, so, so, so, so; yea, marry sir.--Ralph Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?

_Mouldy_.--Here, an't please you.

_Shallow_.--What think you, Sir John? A good limbed fellow: young, strong, and of good friends.

_Falstaff_.--Is thy name Mouldy?

_Mouldy_.--Yea, an't please you.

_Falstaff_.--'Tis the more time thou wert used.

_Shallow_.--Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that are mouldy lack use; very singular good! Well said, Sir John, very well said.

Shall I p.r.i.c.k him, Sir John?

_Falstaff_.--Yes, p.r.i.c.k him.

_Mouldy_.--I was p.r.i.c.ked well enough before, an' you could have let me alone; my old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her drudgery; you need not to have p.r.i.c.ked me; there are other men fitter to go out than I.

_Shallow_.--Peace, fellow, peace! Stand aside; know you where you are? For the next, Sir John; let me see.--Simon Shadow?

_Falstaff_.--Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He's like to be a cold soldier.

_Shallow_.--Where's Shadow?

_Shadow_.--Here, sir.

_Falstaff_.--Shadow, whose son art thou?

_Shadow_.--My mother's son, sir.

_Falstaff_.--Thy mother's son! Like enough, and thy father's shadow.

p.r.i.c.k him. Shadow will serve for summer.

_Shallow_.--Thomas Wart!

_Falstaff_.--Where's he?

_Wart_.--Here, sir!

_Falstaff_.--Is thy name Wart?

_Wart_.--Yea, sir.

_Falstaff_.--Thou art a very ragged wart.

_Shallow_.--Ha, ha, ha! Shall I p.r.i.c.k him down, Sir John?

_Falstaff_.--It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon his back and the whole frame stands upon pins; p.r.i.c.k him no more.

_Shallow_.--Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it; I commend you well.--Francis Feeble.

_Feeble_.--Here, sir.

_Falstaff_.--What trade art thou, Feeble?

_Feeble_.--I'm a woman's tailor, sir.

_Falstaff_.--Well, good woman's tailor, wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?

_Feeble_.--I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.

_Falstaff_.--Well said, good woman's tailor! Well said, courageous Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove, or most magnanimous mouse. p.r.i.c.k me the woman's tailor well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.

_Feeble_.--I would Wart might have gone, too, sir.