Populazzi. Part 30

I kept smiling up at him, and after a moment he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was sweet, and I stood on tiptoe to reach up for another when the first one was over.

Then the song ended, and Eddie excused himself to go raid the food table, which was fine. I knew he wasn't much of a dancer. I stayed out on the floor and danced every fast song with the girls and Marsh; then Trista, Kristie, and I dragged out our boyfriends for the ballads, which the DJ was smart enough to keep few and far between.

Two hours whirled by like nothing, and all too soon the DJ was announcing the last songs of the night, all of them slow. I looked for Eddie at the snack table, but he wasn't there. I thought maybe he'd slipped out to the bathroom; I headed for the door so I could nab him the second he came back.

I only made it a few feet before I stopped in my tracks.

Walking across the room toward me was Archer Jain.

He wore a tuxedo, and the smile he gave me made my stomach flutter.

My body was such a traitor. After yesterday's inquisition, I had been sure I was over Archer forever. But now ... I couldn't imagine what caused his change of heart. I also didn't care. In my mind I could already feel his arms around me; I could hear the soft rumble of his voice in my ear as he admitted what he'd felt for me all along.

He held his hand out and I took a deep, shaky breath as I reached to take it...

...then watched as he walked right past me. I spun around and saw Sue beaming with happiness as Archer pulled her close. She rested her head on his chest, and they swayed together to the music.

I had to move. I was way too close, and I was staring. I tried to move, but my body wouldn't listen. It was frozen. Even though I knew any second one of them could look over at me and- Sue looked. Her blue eyes narrowed, and I knew she could tell exactly what I was thinking. She turned her face up to Archer's, and he looked down at her adoringly. With the sweetest of gestures, he brushed a stray wisp of blond hair from her face, then bent to share a long, gentle kiss that pulled every inch of my intestines slowly out of my body and onto the floor.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't watch this anymore. I felt the tears building behind my eyes, but I couldn't get my feet to move-my G.o.d, why wouldn't they MOVE!

"Cara?"

I wheeled to see Eddie in his ridiculous Tucks T-shirt. "Want to dance?"

"I've got to go. I'll be back."

I walked-I wouldn't run. Running in heels would make noise, and noise might get Archer's attention, and I could not could not could not let him see me running out of the room.

I locked myself in a bathroom stall and plopped onto a toilet seat mere seconds before I would have pa.s.sed out. I didn't even care that the toilet had no lid and I hadn't put down a cover and who knew what my dress was soaking in. I had to sit, and I had to be alone. I thought I should put my head between my knees, but even in my current barely human state I couldn't get my face that close to an uncovered public toilet bowl, so I just rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands.

Of course Archer had a girlfriend. That was part of the Ladder, right? Claudia had said it from the beginning. That's why it wasn't bad if I didn't always have strong feelings for the guys on the rungs, because I was doing them a favor. My attention made them more desirable, so when I moved on, they'd get a new girlfriend right away. It was supposed to work this way.

But not with Archer. Not with Archer.

The way he looked at Sue ... the way he kissed her ... he kissed her...

It was official, then. It wasn't that he didn't want a girlfriend; it wasn't that he was overly shy, or nervous, or gay. It was that he wasn't attracted to me.

Not that this was new news; I'd known it for months. And it wasn't like I'd been sitting at home doing nothing since he and I had imploded: I was on my second boyfriend. But still ... actually seeing him kiss a girl ... kissing Sue ...

Over and over again I replayed it in my head. I imagined their very first kiss. No running away in horror from that one. Had he made the first move? Had they been in Archer's bas.e.m.e.nt? Maybe watching a movie together, his arm around her, Archer completely unable to concentrate because he was too transfixed by her dimpled cheek, the hair tucked behind her ear. Archer leaning in closer ... closer...

I had to stop. This was not helping my ability to breathe, and I was about a minute away from throwing up, which would be even worse on the dress than sitting on this hideous toilet seat.

I got up and left the stall. I checked the back of my dress in the mirror as best I could. It didn't look like I'd gotten anything horrible on it. I leaned on the sink and stared at my face, willing myself to stop freaking out and think rationally.

So Archer had a girlfriend. So what? How did that make anything any different than it was an hour ago? It didn't. If anything, it just made Archer a complete jerk. What was our fight yesterday about if he had a girlfriend? What was he doing getting all up in my relationship with Eddie? Now that Archer had a girlfriend, he was the arbiter of love for everyone?

I stood up straight and gave myself a steely look, fortifying myself to make a decision.

Archer had a girlfriend. Good for him. I had a boyfriend. And from now on, I wasn't holding anything back from my boyfriend. Archer could do whatever he wanted with Sue. More power to him. I had Eddie-and tonight I was going to show him exactly how much I wanted to be with him.

Chapter Thirty.

Once I'd made the decision, I wanted to act on it, so I felt nothing but impatience as I danced the last song with Eddie, making sure to keep my eyes far, far away from Archer and Sue. In the limo on the ride home I downed a few drinks, to make sure my resolve didn't falter.

Trista, Ree-Ree, Kristie, and I had been excited about the postformal reveal of The Hang's new look, but now it was one more obstacle I had to get through before I could do what I wanted. Still, it was pretty; we'd done a great job. The Hang was strung with white Christmas lights, like the kind on the outdoor patio, and we'd re-covered all the pillows, beanbags, and bedding with fluffy white fabric that approximated a recent snowfall.

No matter how motivated I was, I couldn't just lead Eddie away and jump him. Trista controlled when we broke up into twosomes, and at the moment she and Kristie were popping into The Hole to get us all snacks and drinks.

I decided to make the most of the time while I waited. I'd never successfully seduced anyone, but I'd seen enough of the other girls at work that I figured I could do a decent job of it, especially when I was feeling good and fuzzy. I kept my hands on Eddie, running them along his arm, his back, and his thigh. He said that tickled, so I repositioned myself and ma.s.saged his shoulders for a while-until he said my nails were digging into him. No problem. I settled in front of him and sprawled back in his arms, hiking up my skirt and adjusting myself so he'd have an easy view of my padded and pushed-up cleavage.

When Trista gave the signal, I was sure Eddie had to be all kinds of turned on and ready to go. We grabbed blankets and pillows and headed out to our regular place on the chaise.

I liked that my first time would be outdoors; it would make a good story later.

Eddie and I curled up under the covers and he tried to pull me into "my spot" under his arm, but I wasn't having it. Not tonight. Instead I climbed on top of him and plopped myself down in a commanding straddle- "Ow!" Eddie cried. "Geez, watch where you're sitting."

"Sorry," I said. I lifted up a little so I wasn't hurting him, then leaned down and kissed him, thrusting my tongue into his mouth- Eddie recoiled and turned his face away. "Cara, what are you doing?"

He was confused. Of course. I had never come on this strong before. But tonight it was only the beginning.

"Don't you like it?" I leaned down and nuzzled his neck. I kissed it, then kissed his ear, nibbling the lobe ever so gently...

"Hey!"

Okay, I'd meant it to be gently. I was drunk. My spatial relationships were a little off.

"Sorry," I said. "Let me try again."

I dove back down for his ear, but he wrapped his arms around me and rolled us over so we were lying side by side.

"You know what? I'm reeeeeeeally drunk and sleepy. How about we just rest." He pulled me back into that spot under his arm and guided my head onto his chest.

I stayed this time, but I didn't rest. I slowly moved my hand down his chest and stomach, then paused at the waistband of his jeans to expertly undo the b.u.t.ton...

At least I tried to expertly undo the b.u.t.ton. I didn't have a lot of leverage lying on my side and using one hand. How did people do this so easily in movies? I yanked hard on the fabric, trying to get a better grip- Eddie grabbed my hand. "Cara, what's up? I thought we were taking things slow."

"We were. But I don't want to take things slow anymore."

I clambered on top of him again, then reached back and unzipped my dress. I pulled it over my head. All I had on now was a padded pushup bra and matching thong. At any other time I might have felt shy, or at least a little cold, but now I only felt driven. I rolled back my shoulders.

"Like it?" I purred.

"Cara..."

"Here-gimme a second."

I leaned forward to work on his jeans again. I had a much better angle and the use of both hands, so I got the b.u.t.ton open easily. I pulled down the zipper and tugged at the waistband...

"Um ... this would be easier if you'd lift your b.u.t.t a little-"

"Cara, don't-"

"It's okay. I want to," I whispered.

I kissed his stomach, then slid down to the top of his boxers-"Cara, stop! "

He rolled away, whacking me in the face with his hips.

"Ow!"

I'm sorry.

"What is wrong with you? Are you the only guy in the universe who doesn't like a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b?"

"Will you keep your voice down?"

"NO!" I shouted, then lowered my voice to an urgent whisper. "I want to have s.e.x with you, Eddie. Tonight. Now."

I tried to push him back down onto the chaise, but he wouldn't move. Fine. I dove toward his lap, but he grabbed my shoulders and roughly pushed me away.

"Jesus, Cara, stop! I don't want to have s.e.x with you! I'm gay!"

He turned bright red after he said it and wheeled toward The Hang.

"But you're my boyfriend. You can't be gay." "Shut up!" Eddie hissed, checking The Hang again. "Look, you can't tell anyone, okay?"

"But it doesn't make any sense. If you're gay-"

"Stop! Stop saying it out loud!" Eddie's eyes were pure panic.

"Oh my G.o.d..." I finally realized, "I'm your beard!"

"Again, voice down."

"Stop telling me to be quiet!"

"Then stop saying things so loud!"

"I have no desire to out you, okay?" I whispered.

I suddenly felt very naked in my bra and thong. I pulled the blanket around me.

"You're mad," Eddie said.

"Not that you're gay. I don't care if you're gay. I'm mad that you lied to me! I'm mad that I made an idiot out of myself trying to seduce you when it must have made you completely nauseous!"

"You're not an idiot and it didn't make me nauseous. If I were straight, I'd have been very turned on."

"Now you're condescending."

"I'm trying to make you feel better. Is it working?"

"Eddie, you can't be gay. You kissed me. A lot. How could you do that if you didn't like it at least a little bit?"

"I don't like broccoli either, but I can force it down when I need to."

"Oh, that's really nice."

"I'm just saying, it's the truth."

"But why? Why did you ever go out with me?"

"Gemma," Eddie said. "A week before my party she came on to me and I blew her off. If I hadn't come up with a girlfriend, she'd have told everyone I was gay just to save face."

"So what? Tons of people are gay. n.o.body cares about gay anymore."

"Are you kidding? Was your old school in Yardley or the Castro?"

"Where?"

"People say they're cool with gay, but a lot of them really aren't. Especially high school guys. Especially high school athletes. Most especially high school athletes whose dad left their family to marry another guy."

"What? Who-"

"Brett. He's the worst, but it's not only him. Believe me, it's easier if I'm quiet about it."

"Okay ... so why me?"

"Because I didn't need to be straight to give you what you wanted in a boyfriend."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Cara. Maybe a lot of people at Chrysella don't, but I pay attention. I saw the way you looked when you got here, I saw you hanging out with Archer Jain, I saw you go all emo-girl to get Nate Wetherill, and I saw how excited you got when I invited Nate to my party. You're a climber."

"I am not!" I cried.

Eddie just looked at me.