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Whenever I do manage to catch glimpses of him he looks restless.
I pray that Helena will come back soon.
Not because I'm worried about her.
No, she has proven time and again that she can take care of herself.
Not even because we need her to stand a chance of overthrowing the king.
No, my reasons are much more selfish.
I want her here so I can patch things up with Kent.
Does that make me a bad person?
I'm still pondering this when Riel hands me something to drink.
I bring it to my mouth, but pause at the scent.
"Alcohol?"
"You looked like you could use some."
I snort before taking a sip.
It's definitely not the light wines I'm used to.
"Was I wrong?"
"No."
He just stands there awkwardly for a moment before asking the question I don't want to hear.
"What's the deal with you and Kent? I used to think he'd do anything for you and now he's all hostile."
"He's not happy with some of the things I've done."
It's a vague answer but accurate.
"And here I thought he was one of those duty before reason types. You know, the kind that'll always blindly follow their master down the slippery slope. Guess the guy does have some character."
He has a point.
Before Kent would have done anything I asked and buried his own feelings on the matter.
Is it the fact that I'm not truly Lady Auron here that's making him act freer?
Or is it just the stress?
"Adrian and Ara seem to have hit it off."
My silence must have prompted him to change the subject.
I have to admit I'm glad.
I need a distraction.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I think Adrian might have a crush on her."
I can't help but frown.
"Isn't he too young for that?"
I'm not sure which of them I'm feeling more protective of.
"He is definitely too young for her but you can't blame the guy for crushing. My sister is quite the catch."
I snort.
"You are so biased."
He gave me a mock affronted look.
"Are you trying to say that my sister isn't a catch?"
"Of course she's a catch. She's an Auron now. That doesn't make you any less biased."
He looks contemplative for a moment before flashing a grin at me.
"So do I count as a catch then? I am after all Lord Auron."
I freeze at that.
Riel is Lord Auron.
No, that doesn't seem right at all.
His personality is all wrong for it.
He isn't a workaholic tactician.
He probably won't be a distant father.
If anything, judging by the way he acts around Arabella, he'll be very hands on and protective.
He won't -
"You don't have to think so hard about it, you know."
"I'm sorry. I-"
"You didn't marry me for my personality or my looks or my non-existent money. I get it."
He holds his hands up in front of him in surrender.
"That's not what I was going to say."
Not that it's not accurate.
None of those things even factored into the decision.
He could have been a perverted old man and I…
No, that's pushing it.
I wouldn't have married a perverted old man.
"Then what is?"
"I was lost in thought about how different you are from the old Lord Auron."
"Your father."
"Yes. He… He was a great tactician."
He frowns, obviously picking up on the fact that there is much I'm not saying.
"What about as a father?"
"He... had his faults. He was a man used to soldiers and subordinates, not children. He didn't always know how to deal with us."
"Ah."
"Ah? What do you mean 'ah'?"
"So that's why you're -"
He makes a gesture with his hand.
"-you."
"I'm not sure how to take that."
He looks sheepish.
"I didn't mean anything bad by it just that you have a tendency to seem cold, closed off, unemotional. Ironic considering that you probably feel more than most people."
"Empaths need to have greater control over their emotions and those they leach from others. An empath who is also a mage even more so."
When your emotions can level a house - that's an issue.
"It was Ara's grief, wasn't it?"
"Excuse me?"
"Your 'outburst' of magic. The one that got you caught. It was caused Arabella's grief over my death."
I didn't expect him to connect the dots.
Not because I don't think he's smart, mind you.
But because I expected him to have forgotten all about it.
With everything that's happened my 'death' seems like a very long time ago.
"She hugged me searching for comfort. I wasn't expecting it."
There was a great deal of anguish and fear but also… anger.
Of all emotions, anger is the one most likely to cause an outburst of magic.
It's what makes us so dangerous.
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
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His words catch me off guard just as much as his soft tone does.
"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything."
"Didn't I? I practically took advantage of you and on top of that it's my fault you were hanged and caught up in all of this."
"I'm not gonna deny that last part, but what do you mean about taking advantage of me?"
Is there something else I don't know?
"I was so desperate to secure Ara's future and disappear before I got caught. That and your empathy must have-"
"Okay, let me stop you right there. Yes, you were practically reeking of desperation but that did not affect my decision in any way."
He shot me a dubious look.
"You know how you said I seem cold? When it comes to important decisions I am. My father taught me that I should never consider my emotions when making a decision because not only do your cloud your judgement, but as an empath they could be used to manipulate me."
"So you weighed the pros and cons and decided I was a good catch?"
I couldn't help but smile at his cheeky grin.
"I thought you were... adequate."
I do enjoy teasing him.
Before he can respond the door swings open.
A cloaked figure sweeps past us and out of the room with a pile of doc.u.ments under one arm.
I let out a sigh of relief.
She's back.