Peter Simple Part 22

It was my first watch that night, and Swinburne was quarter-master on deck. "Swinburne," said I, "you have often been in the Indies before, why did you not tell me that the men were '_sucking the monkey_,' when I thought that they were only drinking cocoa-nut milk?"

Swinburne chuckled, and answered, "Why, Mr Simple, d'ye see, it didn't become me as a shipmate to peach. It's but seldom that a poor fellow has an opportunity of making himself a 'little happy,' and it would not be fair to take away the chance. I suppose you'll never let them have cocoa-nut milk again?"

"No, that I will not; but I cannot imagine what pleasure they can find in getting so tipsy."

"It's merely because they are not allowed to be so, sir. That's the whole story in few words."

"I think I could cure them, if I were permitted to try."

"I should like to hear how you'd manage that, Mr Simple."

"Why, I would oblige a man to drink off a half pint of liquor, and then put him by himself. I would not allow him companions to make merry with, so as to make a pleasure of intoxication. I would then wait until next morning when he was sober, and leave him alone with a racking headache until the evening, when I would give him another dose, and so on, forcing him to get drunk until he hated the smell of liquor."

"Well, Mr Simple, it might do with some, but many of our chaps would require the dose you mention to be repeated pretty often before it would effect a cure; and what's more, they'd be very willing patients, and make no wry faces at their physic."

"Well, that may be, but it would cure them at last. But tell me, Swinburne, were you ever in a hurricane?"

"I've been in everything, Mr Simple, I believe, except a school, and I never had no time to go there. Did you see that battery at Needham Point? Well, in the hurricane of '82, them same guns were whirled away by the wind, right over to this point here on the opposite side, the sentries in their sentry-boxes after them. Some of the soldiers who faced the wind had their teeth blown down their throats like broken 'baccy pipes, others had their heads turned round like dog vanes; 'cause they waited for orders to the '_right about face_,' and the whole air was full of young _n.i.g.g.e.rs_, blowing about like peelings of _ingons_."

"You don't suppose I believe all this, Swinburne?"

"That's as may be, Mr Simple; but I've told the story so often, that believe it myself."

"What ship were you in?"

"In the _Blanche_, Captain Faulkner, who was as fine a fellow as poor Captain Savage, whom we buried yesterday; there could not be a finer than either of them. I was at the taking of the _Pique_, and carried him down below after he had received his mortal wound. We did a pretty thing out here when we took Fort Royal by a coup-de-main, which means, boarding from the main-yard of the frigate, and dropping from it into the fort. But what's that under the moon?--that a sail in the offing."

Swinburne fetched the gla.s.s and directed it to the spot. "One, two, three, four. It's the admiral, sir, and the squadron hove-to for the night. One's a line-of-battle ship, I'll swear." I examined the vessels, and agreeing with Swinburne, reported them to Mr Falcon. My watch was then over, and as soon as I was released I went to my hammock.

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE.

CAPTAIN KEARNEY--THE DIGNITY BALL.

The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag, and by eight o'clock they all anch.o.r.ed. Mr Falcon went on board the admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain Savage. In about half-an-hour he returned, and we were glad to perceive, with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would receive his acting order as commander, which was a question of some doubt, as the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he pleased, although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to Mr Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission, as Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he _made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_, being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the _Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking the command of the _Opossum_. He received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the _Sanglier_.

We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen except when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage: they replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain, I sailed with him for two years in a brig."

"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?"

"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple; he's a good-tempered, kind fellow enough, but--"

"But what?"

"Such a _bouncer_!!"

"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man."

"Bless you, Mr Simple, why, you don't understand English. I mean that he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you know I can spin a yarn occasionally."

"Yes, that you can; witness the hurricane the other night."

"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I might not stretch now and again, just for fun, as far as he can, but, d.a.m.n it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never tells the truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has nothing but his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as Greenwich Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to laugh at behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_ before his face."

Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck "You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not _worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission if you'll order the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads,"

said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but a few words to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you appear to have a very good character from your late first lieutenant.

All I request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow, and called his c.o.xswain--"William, you'll go on board and tell my steward that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that he must come to dress me; and, c.o.xswain, recollect to put the sheepskin mat on the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I was on sh.o.r.e in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the _chariot--you_ know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the face, who c.o.c.ked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact.

Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay.

There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other islands as _n.i.g.g.e.rs_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof.

The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners of the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amus.e.m.e.nt and various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both on sh.o.r.e and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I think they were a joe, or eight dollars each.

The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact, sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in _rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission to go to the governor's ball, and preferring hers, would slip away and join the party, by which means she insured a full attendance.

On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor insisted, that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no denial, and therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was, that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He certainly had spoken to the _Prime minister_, and he thought it not impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some little grat.i.tude left in this world. After this, of course, every officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship.

The governor's ball was very splendid; but the ladies were rather sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were exceptions, and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all anxious to go to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped away with three other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of negroes were outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced, from the want of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under mulatto in colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the progeny of a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a white and mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one quarter black, and of this cla.s.s the company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make the _mustee_ or one eighth black, and the mustee and white the mustafina, or one sixteenth black. After that, they are _white washed_ and considered as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the West Indies, and they have as many quarterings as a German prince, in his coat of arms; a quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto looks down upon a sambo, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo in his turn looks down upon a n.i.g.g.e.r. The quadroons are certainly the handsomest race of the whole: some of the women are really beautiful; their hair is long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black, their figures perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their cheeks quite as plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of an European. We found the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented with orange branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a mulatto gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His head was well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trowsers, a waistcoat not six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on, as a livery. With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de gentlemen for de card for de ball," which being produced, we were ushered on by him to the ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was waiting to receive her company. She made us a low curtsy, observing, "She really happy to see de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de _officers_ also at her _dignity_."

This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied, "That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference to hers."

This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and I looked around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of losing the good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before so many pretty figures and faces. The officers not having yet arrived we received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and many other, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the airs of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of value were not wanting, but their drapery was slight. They appeared neither to wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures were so perfect, that they could only be ill-dressed by having on too much dress. A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among the number) having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the ball should commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in a cotillon, which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth the premier violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Ma.s.sa Johnson, really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the "'Badian ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered, dressed in a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white waistcoat, only one b.u.t.ton of which he could afford to b.u.t.ton to make full room for the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which really was _un jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his collar to the waist-band of his nankeen tights, which were finished off at his knees with huge bunches of riband; his legs were encased in silk stockings, which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they showed the manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man in the formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved like a cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot like the handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as much of the foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the appearance of Mr Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne plus ultra_ of fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_, or fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball."

Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me.

O'Brien was our vis-a-vis with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson, who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and, lastly, at the other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his _bow-tick_ the music began. "Ma.s.sa Lieutenant," cried Apollo to O'Brien, "cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure to Miss Eurydice--dat right: now four hand round. You lily midshipman, set your partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do, now stop. First figure all over."

At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner, and I ventured a remark. To my surprise, she answered very sharply, "I come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter: look Ma.s.sa Johnson, he tap um bow-tick."

The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle: so I did of the third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know how to dance, nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at Barbadoes."

A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted: but he took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson, who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased every minute: all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as they could get away, the governor's aides-de-camp, all dressed in _mufti_ (i.e. plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock in the morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival of fresh recruits from all the houses in Barbadoes. I must say, that a few bottles of Eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved the atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_ of the ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to all stout gentlemen, who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was now announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss Minerva, I of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper room. It was my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my partner if I should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the breast. She looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your impudence, sir, I wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lily turkey _bosom_, if you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar!--really quite _horrid_." I made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the supper was finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a better supper I never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies,"

cried Mr Apollo Johnson, "wid de permission of our amiable hostess, I will purpose a toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so you don't, I say there no place in de world like Barbadoes. All de world fight again England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber fear, while _Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to last drop of him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all know dem French mans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear de 'Badi volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company, but um sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians.

Gentlemen and lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too brave_. I purpose health of 'Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from all quarters follow--this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk with rapture; the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and the lead which he took in the company.

O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:--"Ladies an gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I ever met with in this country; but as he has thought proper to drink the 'Island of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish, with him, all good health to the island; but there is a charm without which the island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely girls who now surround us, and take our hearts by storm,"--(here O'Brien put his arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo ground his teeth so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room,)--therefore, gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of the ''Badian Ladies.' This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the females at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious.

Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say--

"Here's to de c.o.c.k who make lub to de hen, Crow till he hoa.r.s.e, and make lub again."

The sentiment was received with rapture; and after silence was obtained, Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to public 'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for his very fine toast, and in de name of de ladies," she begged leave to propose another sentimen, which was--

"Here to de hen what nebber refuses, Let c.o.c.k pay compliment whenebber he chooses."

If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm; but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-gla.s.s, and very much obliged to you for your company."

As...o...b..ien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our parting-gla.s.s, in compliance with her request and our own wishes, and proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was a.s.sisting Miss Minerva to her red c.r.a.pe shawl, a storm was brewing in another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien.

O'Brien was a.s.siduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he called soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above spirit-boiling heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that he would have the honour of escorting her home.