Peregrine's Progress Part 43

Gentlemen, I have the honour to present Mr. Peregrine Vereker! Nephew, in the floored Corinthian with the damaged ogle, you will remark Richard, Marquis of Jerningham; on my right, Viscount Devenham; on my left, Sir Peregrine Beverley; before you Major Dashwood, Mr. Wemyss and your affectionate uncle Jervas. And now, gentlemen all, my nephew will tell you that he comes fresh from witnessing the defeat of Jerningham's unfortunate champion The 'Thunderbolt' at the hands of the unconquerable Jessamy Todd!"

"Aha!" cried the Marquis, springing lightly to his feet and m.u.f.fling naked torso in gaudy dressing-gown; and next moment he and the others were thronged about me vociferous for knowledge.

For a moment I stood looking round upon the ring of clean-cut, eager faces, tongue-tied and somewhat non-plussed; but seeing with what unaffected and hearty good will they greeted me, nor heeded my disfiguring attire, I made my bow and plunged into a full and particular relation of Jessamy Todd's encounter with the man Tom. As my narrative progressed, the interest of my audience waxed, and I was gratified and stimulated by a ripple of excitement and hushed exclamations which, as I ended, swelled to a ringing cheer for Jessamy Todd. Thereafter my hand was shaken heartily by one and all, with many laudations on my descriptive powers, in the midst of which my uncle Jervas touched me on the shoulder and, bowing my adieux, I took my departure and thus presently found myself in the open air walking, rather sheepishly, between my two relatives.

Once beyond eyeshot of the curious, my uncle Jervas paused and fell back a step, the better to behold me, peering through his gla.s.s at each individual article of my attire and murmuring such e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.ns as:

"Astounding! Astonishing! Amazing!"

"Tells me he had 'em of a highwayman, Jervas!" volunteered uncle George.

"A most distressing vision!" sighed my uncle Jervas. "A positive walking disgust! And yet--hum!"

"And a very creditable pair o' black eyes, Jervas."

"True, George! Our youth has been observing life at close quarters, it seems."

"B'gad--he has so, brother!" chuckled uncle George.

"Tells me he's spent all his money on women!"

My uncle Jervas very nearly dropped his eyegla.s.s.

"Now--'pon my everlasting--" his voice failed and he gazed at me quite dumbfounded for once.

"Think o' Julia!" said uncle George, with a kind of groan. "Think of--'Ode to a Throstle'--poor Julia--sweet soul!" My two uncles turned from my indignant form to regard each other; then, all at once, the grim lips of my uncle Jervas twitched, quivered to a flash of white teeth, but his laughter was drowned by uncle George's cachinnations where he stood on one leg, slapping at the other brawny thigh until the dust flew.

"Sirs," said I, folding my arms and glancing from one to other disdainfully, "your mirth is as unwarranted as unseemly! The money in question was expended in the service of--of one who--whose need was instant and great. I have the honour to bid you good-bye!"

But, as I turned, my uncle Jervas laid his hand on my arm, a white, elegant hand strangely out of place on my rough and weather-beaten coat-sleeve.

"Pray accept our sincerest apologies, Peregrine," said he. Now at this I glanced up in wondering surprise, for in the touch of this slim hand, in voice and look, I had an indefinable sense of comradeship that thrilled me with sudden pride.

"My dear Uncle," I exclaimed, grasping his hand, "pray trust me always to remember that I am a Vereker also."

"B'gad, and there ye have it, Jervas; couldn't ha' put it better yourself!"

"And pray, sirs, how is my dear and best of aunts?"

At this question my uncle Jervas pursed his lips in a soundless whistle and smoothed snowy shirt-frill with caressing fingers.

"Perry," said uncle George, removing his hat to ruffle his curls, "you've heard of bears robbed of cubs, of the Hyr--what's-a-name tiger--"

"Hyrcanian, George!" murmured uncle Jervas.

"Well, they're playful pets in comparison. How is your aunt? B'gad, Perry, my lad, that's precisely the dooce of it, d'ye see!"

"She--she is very well, I hope?" faltered I.

"a.s.suredly!" answered my uncle Jervas. "But being the--ah--truly feminine creature she is, your remarkable aunt, with more or less reason, has leapt to the conclusion that we are the cause of what she terms your 'desertion', and is a little incensed against us--"

"Incensed, d'ye call it, Jervas?" exclaimed uncle George. "A little incensed is it--oh, b'gad!"

"And declines to see or hold communications with us--"

"And when she does, she--she don't!" added uncle George. "Last time I ventured to call, she looked over me, and under me, and round me, and through me but never--at me. Dooced trying y' know, Perry!"

"And most disappointing!" said I. "My dream that you--one of you might comfort her--"

"Was a d.a.m.ned piece of impertinence!" murmured my uncle Jervas, his aesthetically pallid cheek tinged with unusual colour. "Your aunt knows her own mind and has grieved, raged, wept, languished and advertised for you in her thorough fashion--"

"Offers five hundred pounds for your recovery, lad!" added uncle George.

"Which," continued uncle Jervas, "is a fair sum of money, the natural consequence being that the poor, sweet soul has been plagued by all manner of people, day and night, eagerly endeavouring to restore waifs and strays of both s.e.xes and all ages, so much so that your uncle and I were compelled to call in and suppress such notices as had appeared--here is one!" From his pocket uncle Jervas took a handbill which he unfolded and pa.s.sed to me; whereon I read this:

L500. LOST. REWARD.

MR. PEREGRINE VEREKER AGED 19.

Here followed a most minute and painfully accurate description of my garments and person; and below, these words:

WHEREAS: my loved nephew, PEREGRINE VEREKER, acting upon the PERNICIOUS & EVIL COUNSEL of certain CRUEL and HEARTLESS advisers, fled from home and his only TRUE FRIEND on the night of the 10th.

inst: the above L500 will be paid to such person or persons who shall return him safe and unharmed or give such information as shall lead to his happy recovery and restoration to the loving care of JULIA CONROY.

"Great heaven!" I exclaimed, crumpling the doc.u.ment angrily. "It reads as if I were some pet animal!"

"Precisely!" murmured my uncle Jervas. "As you seemed likely to become, nephew. None the less, the doc.u.ment evinces something of your aunt's desire for your return, and it is easy to imagine her grat.i.tude when I shall restore you to her arms--"

"Hold hard, Jervas!" exclaimed my uncle George, clutching my left arm.

"'Twas I found him!"

"But consider, my dear George," sighed my uncle Jervas, laying elegant hand upon my right shoulder, "I bear the brunt of her blame, as usual--"

"But damme, Jervas--"

"But pray reflect further, dear George; I am, alas, slightly your senior and, as such, claim the right--"

"But my dear uncles," I interrupted at this juncture, "pray remark that I have no intention of returning home for some time."

"Oh, indeed, nephew?" sighed my uncle Jervas, his slim hand tightening a little. "May one venture to ask why?"

"I know!" sighed uncle George. "Women, Jervas--feminine spells, poor lad!"

"For one thing," I answered patiently, "because I have decided to become a tinker for a while."

"Hum!" murmured my uncle Jervas. "A useful trade, but scarcely one I should have chosen for you--still--"

"And there he is, at last!" exclaimed uncle George suddenly, and beckoned with imperious hand; thus, glancing whither he looked, I espied Jessamy Todd and, with a sudden twist, I broke away and ran to meet her who walked at Jessamy's side.

"O Diana!" I exclaimed, "I have been looking for you all afternoon.