Pegasus: A Novel Part 7

"Did you have a good time?" one of them asked her with a sly wink, which Christianna ignored.

"Yes, thanks," Christianna said blithely, and thanked them again, and left. And it worked out perfectly, she was just leaving their trailer with her suitcase when she ran into her oldest brother. He didn't even look suspicious when he asked how her trip was. It had never occurred to him that she'd go on a romantic weekend.

"We had fun," she said as she smiled innocently.

"I don't know how you stand those girls," Peter said, lowering his voice so they didn't hear him through their open windows. "They're so loud. Did you all get drunk?" He teased her. He knew they drank a lot, too, when they weren't working. Most of the Russians did, cheap vodka, but her brothers often did, too, so he was in no position to talk.

"Of course not," she answered demurely. And he obviously didn't see anything different about her, since he didn't accuse her of being with a man. But she felt as though she had come back a changed woman, and as though everyone could see how happy and in love she was. But Peter said nothing. "Did you and the boys go to Las Vegas?" she asked. They'd been talking about it before she left.

"No, I wasn't in the mood, so we stayed here."

"That's too bad."

"We'll be there anyway in a few days. We can gamble anytime." The casinos in Vegas stayed open twenty-four hours a day. They went on tour every year, and most of the cast loved it. This would be the first time she was old enough to go to the casino, but she didn't really care except to see it. Drinking and gambling were her brothers' favorite pastimes, not hers. And chasing women.

She made her way to her own trailer then, and her aunt and sister were in the living room when she got there. Her aunt was talking about the news she'd heard that day of how badly things were going in Europe, but her sister Mina made no comment. She was used to their aunt rattling on endlessly, always with bad news. None of them paid any attention to her. She always had some catastrophe to announce. Christianna said h.e.l.lo to them both and then went to shower. They didn't have rehearsal that day, and she didn't have to be ready until her performance with Nick and his Lipizzaners. She could hardly wait to see him again.

"I don't know why you bother with those horses!" her aunt shouted after her. "No one cares about horses!" It was the opinion of her entire family, but John North had asked her to do it, and they couldn't argue with it.

"Some people do," Christianna called back, as she undressed in the tiny room she shared with her sister. She was acutely aware, as she stood in her underwear, that only hours before she'd been making love with Nick, and wished she still were. She just hoped that she hadn't gotten pregnant. He had a.s.sured her he was careful. She wasn't entirely sure how he'd done that. She knew several girls who'd had to have abortions, and she knew that they were dangerous and painful. Two years before, one girl went to a bad abortionist in New Jersey, while they were on tour, and died three days later of an infection. Her aunt had told her that would happen if you had s.e.x with a man before you were married. It had terrified Christianna. But everything was different with Nick. Her two days with him had been perfect.

They had a light dinner that night in the trailer, before she had to be at the big top to meet Nick. She took particular care that night to wear a new white leotard and tutu, with silver sparkles on it, and she dusted a few into her hair from the box where she kept her makeup, so they would shimmer in the spotlight. She had her hair wrapped in a tight bun, and was wearing white satin ballet shoes. She wanted to look perfect for him tonight. It was their first performance together since their honeymoon in Santa Ynez.

And in his trailer, Nick put on his best tailcoat, and a white pique shirt that had been made for him in Paris, and his favorite top hat. And he wore diamond studs in his white vest that he had brought from Germany and never wore while he performed. He hadn't worn them since the ship coming over. He shaved extra carefully before he dressed, put on cologne, and shined his boots, as he always did. He looked impeccable when he left to saddle Pegasus and Athena. Toby was already there, and had exercised all the horses that afternoon. And Katja was with him in the horse tent. Whenever possible, she went everywhere with him, and he seemed to like it. He was as crazy about her as he had been when they first met. And Lucas made fun of him often. He was with Rosie just as much, but they were just friends, at their age. By now, Toby and Katja were boyfriend and girlfriend, and both had just turned sixteen. She was dressed for work that night too. She was going to be in the trapeze act with her father and his brothers, while her mother performed on the high wire. Nick chatted amiably with the two young people, as he checked the horses and found everything in good order, and Pegasus in high spirits. He looked as though he couldn't wait to start.

"Where did you go?" Toby asked him with interest. His father had never left them before, since they'd come to the circus. Toby didn't mind, since he got to spend even more time with Katja and her parents, which suited him just fine.

"Santa Ynez," Nick responded, sounding relaxed. "It's beautiful country, great for horses. I'd love to have a ranch there one day." Toby nodded. "Maybe one day," Nick said as he got into the saddle on Pegasus, trying to settle him down. He was high-spirited tonight, as though he knew something was different. Like Christianna, Nick felt like a new man. He had come alive in Christianna's arms.

A little while later, Toby and Nick left for the tent. And as they walked the two Lipizzaners, and led the Arabians, Katja followed at a safe distance, so none of the horses could kick her if they reared. She had learned that the Arabians did it often. The Lipizzaners were better behaved. And once they got to the tent, Nick and Toby were busy, getting their horses ready for the show. Christianna met them there, she was already waiting, and right before they went on, Nick lifted her into the saddle. She flew into it easily, and put her feet into the stirrups he kept short for her, and a few minutes later, the spotlight was on them. She and Nick looked magnificent, and everyone agreed, it was the best show they'd done so far. And the audience cheered them loudly when they were finished. They had moved with total precision that night, without a flaw. It was as though they moved as one body now, and Pegasus and Athena seemed to be part of their new bond as well. Christianna and Nick had galloped through the finale holding hands. They really did look like royalty that night, and the costume mistress had given her a little rhinestone tiara that glittered like Nick's diamond studs. They were by far the most elegant couple in the show.

Nick went to tie up the horses outside the tent, and Toby helped him. And Nick had plenty of time for a cigarette and to relax for a while after their show, before he heard Christianna's music start, and he walked back into the tent just as she scampered up the rope to the high wire. She got onto her platform with her usual grace, and her act began as Nick stared upward, as always now, with his heart in his mouth. He was careful to stay out of the spotlight and out of her brothers' way. He could see her father in the distance, watching her, as she glided through her routine with more than her usual grace. And she was beaming as she took the first turn, changing directions on the wire, and when she switched back, he saw her nearly stumble, and the crowd gasped and so did he. His eyes never left her for an instant, and he wanted to reach out and catch her if she fell, but she regained her poise and her balance instantly, and a moment later she was at the other side, and made the small leap to her platform. Nick felt almost faint with relief when she did. He couldn't imagine a lifetime of watching her like this, fearing for her life every night. It would have to change one day, but not yet. He knew it was too soon, but he could hardly wait to get her off the high wire for good, whatever it took.

She was down the rope a moment later, to thunderous applause, and smiled as she flew past him, with her brothers following her closely. Nick went backstage after that, but didn't see her. And he hated the fact that the crowd loved knowing that she could fall at any instant, but didn't. The extreme risk she took was what thrilled them, and nearly drove him insane. It rattled him to his core every time.

And the next time he saw her, she was astride the elephant she always rode in the finale. She looked like a perfect white elf covered in silvery fairy dust, as she stood on the elephant and held the handle on its saddle, as Nick rode by on his stallion. He stopped for a moment, held a hand out to her, and she leaned toward him and touched it, and then blew the crowd a kiss. They loved it and ate it up as Nick rode alongside for longer than usual and then cantered away, as Toby followed on Athena. The two Lipizzaners were a spectacular sight. The show was over minutes later, and he caught a moment alone with her before she left. Her brothers were waiting outside.

"You almost fell tonight," he said severely, with a look of agony in his eyes. "I saw it, you stumbled."

"I was distracted," she said apologetically. "I caught it very quickly."

"And if you hadn't?" He questioned her, his eyes never leaving hers for a second.

"I would die," she admitted, aware of the pain in his eyes.

"No, I would," he said softly. "Don't forget that."

She nodded, and quickly so no one could see it, he touched her hand, and then kissed it. "I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you too," she whispered back, and was gone.

Chapter 13.

After Santa Barbara, they went to Solvang, a funny little town modeled on a Dutch village, with windmills, and from there they went east to Las Vegas, which the crew always enjoyed. They only had one night there, so they had very little time to gamble, but they managed, and went to the casinos before and after the shows. They had a matinee to do as well.

And then they headed for the last leg of the tour. They had been on the road for seven months, a little less than in previous years, as they headed south and east on their way home. They only spent one night in each town, which was grueling for the roustabouts to set up and tear down, all in one day. More often than not, they worked straight through the night to tear it down, so they could leave again in the morning and move on.

They went all through the South, stopping in nearly every state, which would finally lead them to Tampa, Florida, for their last night.

All through September, the entire circus and the world had followed the war news from Europe, when finally Great Britain, France, New Zealand, and Australia declared war on Germany. And everyone in the circus was terrified for their relatives in Europe, and so was Nick. It particularly affected the people in the circus since so many of them were from Europe, especially Germany, and various Eastern European countries.

Despite the shocking news, they continued the tour and finished in Tampa on October 30, although their mood was subdued. Nick had had no news from Alex or his father for several weeks, and the letters he'd gotten after war started had been heavily censored, with official stamps and seals on them, but they'd gotten through, since the United States was not at war with Germany.

Nick had been worried about his father since he left, and he never said it in his letters, but Nick was concerned for his health. When Paul wrote to him now, he sounded old, and discouraged about the state of the world. And it could only get worse now, with Germany at war with much of Europe. He hoped that Alex would write to him again soon-he usually gave him more news than Paul. All Nick's father ever did was rea.s.sure him that as soon as things calmed down, he and the boys could come home. But it was clear now to Nick, even more so than it had been, that that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Maybe never, if Hitler remained in power. And Nick couldn't help wondering how his mother had fared in the random removal of Jews to concentration camps in the past year. He wondered if she had fled, too, and could only hope that she had, even though he didn't know her.

Nick and Christianna had managed another romantic night together in a charming bed and breakfast in Savannah, Georgia. The Ukrainian girls covered for her again, and Nick confided to her how worried he was about his father, and she was deeply sympathetic and always gentle with him. Her family was anxious about their relatives in Poland, too, although most of them were in the States, with the circus, but they still had relatives in Warsaw, who were at great risk now with the war on.

Christianna was still under the spell of Nick's lovemaking after the stolen moments they shared, and she stumbled on the high wire again on the last night in Tampa. And when she slipped, it nearly stopped his heart. It had been a close one, and the crowd had gasped as they watched, and Nick nearly cried. They argued about it afterward, as they had several times now, and he always made the same plea for her to stop working on the high wire without a net.

"Don't ask me that, Nick," she said finally in frustration. "I can't stop doing it. I have no choice. If I stop, we have no act, and we'd have to leave. My father isn't going to let that happen, nor will my brothers. They depend on me. This is what I do. Just like you do with your horses." Her eyes were two deep pools of sorrow gazing into his. She didn't like causing him pain, but had no choice. No one in their family had ever worked with a net. The Markoviches were known for it, and their daring feats.

"And your father and brothers are entirely willing for you to risk your life, all of them." He got angry every time they discussed it, and she always vowed to herself that she wouldn't talk to him about it again. He didn't understand, he was not a circus person, and he'd only been there with them for less than a year.

"So you're not going to give it up?" he asked bluntly.

"No, I'm not. So maybe we shouldn't talk about it all the time."

"Probably not, if you're not going to be reasonable about it. And I know your family certainly won't be." He was seriously upset, because her working without a net filled him with terror, for her and himself. Nothing was resolved, and they were cool with each other the next day when they got back to Sarasota. Neither of them would concede, let alone take action about it. But the tension between them relaxed again as they settled into Sarasota for the winter break and no longer had to perform every night and travel every day. The issue was shelved for now, during their break, and they were all focused on the war news, none of which was good. Nick listened to the radio constantly to get all the news he could of what was happening in Europe. It appeared to Nick that Hitler wanted to rule the world, which had occurred to everyone by then.

Nick was often quiet now when he was with Christianna, thinking of his father and Alex, wondering how they were holding up in the face of the war. He felt guiltier than ever now not to be there to help.

"I'm sure they understand," Christianna said soothingly, as they talked about it late one night. "You couldn't stay."

"I don't know why they would understand," he said honestly. "I can't comprehend it myself. It makes no sense to me at all. It never did. I should be there with them." But he was here now and the others were in Europe, living it, and no longer safe. And there was nothing he could do, for them, or anyone else. He was too far away. And as she looked at him, Christianna could see the loneliness and helplessness in his eyes, and her heart ached for him. It made her want to console him for all he had lost, if she ever could. Their relationship had grown stronger, and the bond between them was continuing to bring them ever closer to each other.

Toby and Lucas were happy to be back in Sarasota, too, and had had a seven-month geography lesson traveling across the States. Lucas played with the clowns every day after school, just as he had before they went on tour. In the year they had been there, Lucas had become a circus child-he hardly seemed to remember their previous life. He was seven now, and he had friends all over the circus, among the children and adults. Lucas never met anyone he didn't love, or who didn't love him. Toby was far more reserved, and he and Katja were still in love, in a gentle and respectful way. They spent long hours talking, doing homework together, and kissing whenever they could. They were sixteen, after all. And they attended the same school.

It was pouring rain in Sarasota one November afternoon, when Christianna appeared at their trailer, soaking wet, and asked if he and the boys would come to dinner with her family. With nothing else to do, her brothers had been grousing about Nick all week, making comments about how fancy and what a sn.o.b he was, and she wanted them to see for themselves that he was a decent person, surprisingly modest, and always kind to her. She was tired of their snide remarks. She said her sisters-in-law were cooking dinner that night, and it would be a simple meal of Polish sausages, dumplings, steamed vegetables, and the things they liked to eat and knew how to cook. She hoped Nick wouldn't mind.

"I was going to take the boys to the cook tent." He smiled at her. He tried to take them out for hearty meals whenever he could, they were growing boys, but sometimes they ate whatever was on hand. Nick got tired of the mess tent and readily admitted that he still wasn't much of a cook. Fortunately Gallina and Sergei were generous about inviting them to join them, often for deliciously prepared Czech meals, which he and the boys thoroughly enjoyed. "We'd love it." He thanked Christianna for the invitation, and she told him to come around seven.

The camp had been bustling recently with talk of Warsaw surrendering to the n.a.z.is a month before, which had many of them panicked. And Nick was sure Christianna's family was upset about it, too, and there would probably be talk of it that night. There had been fights recently around the circus on that subject. Sentiments were running high, and fears for loved ones at home in their countries of origin affected them all. Some of the Polish gymnasts had attacked a group of Germans at the commissary, and John Ringling North had sent out a general memo warning everyone to behave, whatever their national allegiance, or sympathies with the war. There was a British troupe with another horse act that had come to blows with the Germans too.

Word had gotten out that Nick and his sons had been forced to leave Germany, due to a Jewish connection of some kind, so the anti-German contingent left him alone. Without that gossip about him circulating, he would have been at risk for attacks, too, but thus far there had been none. And he was careful never to talk about politics except with Christianna, Gallina, or Sergei, who were his closest friends. It was no secret that he hated Hitler, and he had good reason to, but most of the time, he kept it to himself. It seemed smarter that way. One of the tiger acts was run by two Germans who were sympathetic to Hitler, and Nick stayed away and made no comment to them. He wanted no trouble here. There was enough at home. He was worried sick about his father, and Alex and Marianne. Their letters took much longer to arrive now, and he was without news for longer periods of time, except what he saw in newsreels in local movie theaters, which he went to whenever possible, so he could stay informed of the latest news from Germany, or what he read in newspapers, but most of the smaller towns they'd been in barely mentioned the war in the press. America wasn't involved, and in the rural areas, no one cared.

The Markovich family occupied four trailers, and Nick and the boys arrived promptly at Christianna's father's trailer, as Christianna had told him to do. Nick had managed to go into town and buy flowers for her aunt and her four sisters-in-law, and a small bunch for Christianna, and a bottle of vodka for the men. He hadn't wanted to show up empty-handed, and her aunt in the wheelchair was wreathed in smiles when he handed the first bouquet to her.

"Thank you for having us to dinner, Miss Markovich." He knew the aunt had never been married. She had been injured when she was still young, barely eighteen, although she was in her fifties now. She was Sandor Markovich's sister, and he had always taken care of her, long before he was in a wheelchair himself. She sewed costumes for them, kept track of their money, and babysat their children for them, and she had been like a mother to Christianna after her mother fell. She was a cantankerous old woman, and Christianna said she was not a happy person, but she was very attached to her, more so than to her brothers or their wives, who weren't always kind to her, and Nick suspected they were jealous of her since she was the star now. Her brothers' wives weren't part of their act, but they resented her anyway, for her looks and grace, her youth, and her skill on the high wire. And they would have resented her even more if they'd known about her relationship with Nick. They thought he was too good for her. And the fact that they were the stars of the show together now made them both the target for other people's envy. And the adoration of the crowds for Christianna didn't sit well with them either. It just fed the flames of the jealousy they already harbored against her.

The smell of sausages and European cooking was strong, and it reminded Nick instantly of the smells in their tenant farmers' homes. He had always liked it, and longed to be invited to dinner at their homes when he was a boy, instead of the more elegant fare they served him at his house, like goose and venison and duck and pheasant. His father loved to hunt, and they often ate game. He had preferred sausages as a child, and Lucas's face lit up immediately when he saw what they were serving for dinner. It was very much like German country food, and familiar to them. And Nick was perfectly content to eat a simple meal, and get to know her family better. He scarcely knew them at all, but her family was definitely considered the royalty of the circus world. And Christianna had the dignity of a princess when Nick and his sons walked in and handed all of the women their bouquets. It was royalty meeting royalty.

Her brothers were pleased with the vodka when he handed it to them-he had bought as decent a brand as he could find at the small market near the fairground.

The men talked about the war for a while, and one of her brothers asked him why he had left Germany. He hadn't heard the rumors about Nick, and Christianna hadn't explained. She stayed among the women as they prepared dinner and left the men to themselves. Her aunt was having a lively conversation with Lucas about wanting to be a clown when he grew up, and she told him he should be a trapeze artist instead, which didn't appeal as much to him. And Toby was sitting politely listening to them, answering questions when he was asked. He had told her that he wanted to be a veterinarian for horses, which sounded dull to her.

"Why did you leave Germany last year, and come over here?" her youngest brother asked Nick.

"I discovered that my mother was half Jewish. I never knew her," he answered simply, looking him directly in the eye. He knew that the Markoviches weren't, and he had no idea what their feelings were about it, but there was no point hiding it, it was a fact. "They were persecuting Jews and trying to chase them away. It was right before Kristallnacht. We had to leave to be safe, or we could have been sent to a labor camp or put in prison," which was the truth.

"You don't look like a Jew," one of her older brothers commented, pa.s.sing each of them a shot of vodka from the bottle Nick had brought. They all tossed it off in one gulp, and Nick tried not to make a face as he did. He didn't want to be rude, but he rarely drank and it burned his throat.

"I'm only a quarter. My father is Catholic and my mother was half," Nick explained.

"And a count, from what I hear," he said with an edge to his voice, as he took another shot. Their father rolled in and helped himself to a shot as well and seemed pleased, as he glanced at Nick. "This must be quite a change for you." There was still a sarcastic tone as he spoke to Nick.

"Coming to the circus saved my life, and my boys. I'm grateful for that. A friend gave me the horses I brought with me. This is the only thing I know how to do, ride horses and train them. I've learned a lot in the last year." The simplicity and honesty with which he said it silenced all of them for a moment. Nick didn't put on airs, he was modest and told the truth.

"Don't worry," one brother said with a sudden laugh, warmed by the second vodka, as he glanced at Nick with a kinder look in his eyes. "We don't know how to do anything else either, except our trapeze act, and watch our sister on the high wire. It's enough. So is what you do." Then generously, he added, "You're good. I like what you do with the white ones. How do you teach them to stand up like that?"

"It's in their blood." Nick smiled. "They're born and built to do that. There's a school in Vienna where they teach them all the exercises they do. My friend was training them before he gave them to me. I want to breed Lipizzaners one day."

"They must be worth a lot," he commented, and Nick nodded. And then one of them asked him the question they'd all been wondering, and predicting darkly to Christianna: "Do you think you'll stay?"

"I hope so. I need the job. I have my boys to take care of. And by the time Hitler is finished, Germany will be in ruins. This is all we have now." What he said discounted the schloss and the land he had left in Germany, all of which he would inherit one day, if he was allowed to, and Hitler was no longer in power, or lost the war. But for now, Nick had no access to any of it, and lived on his salary, just as they did, and knew he might have to for a long, long time. He saved his money, knowing it was all he had for now. "What about you? Do you still have relatives in Poland?"

"Only some cousins. Most of us are here. And we're not Jews," Peter said matter-of-factly. "Some of the juggling acts are Jewish and still have relatives there. They're trying to bring them here, but they haven't been able to. You're lucky you got out when you did."

"Yes, I am," Nick agreed. There had been pogroms in Poland, Russia, and Czechoslovakia, and Jews were being taken to labor camps and severely persecuted, or killed. Nick had heard about it on the news. "Things are bad over there. We're all lucky to be here."

"We're Americans now," Peter, the oldest brother, said proudly, "and so are our wives. My father is now too. We've been here for twenty years. Christianna is a citizen now too. My aunt was the last to give up her Polish citizenship. It's better for us here, for all of us. America has been good to us," he said gratefully. Thus far it had been to Nick, too, but he still felt German, not American, and thought about going back one day, when things changed again, although he was no longer sure after everything that had happened. And he felt attached to neither country, the old, nor the new. He hadn't adopted his new country sufficiently to want to give up his heritage and his homeland yet, no matter how cruel they had been to him. He had been betrayed, but by Hitler, not by Germany. And he didn't feel American, and didn't think he ever would. But he admired Christianna's family for embracing the country that had been good to them, and where they'd lived for so long.

"Why do you let her work without a net?" Nick asked quietly, during a lull in their war talk. It was the burning question he had wanted to ask them since he had first seen her on the high wire, and there was a sudden silence. None of them answered him for a moment, and then her father spoke from his chair. He had been watching Nick closely since he first walked into the trailer with his boys. He liked him, better than he expected to. He seemed like a good man, and he had well-brought-up boys, which her father respected too.

"It's what the crowd wants, and what we do. They don't want to see a little girl tripping across a wire five feet off the ground with a balancing bar and a canary on her head. People respect courage. She's a brave girl. So was my wife. You don't win anything in life if you don't take risk. They don't understand it, but they respect the skill. It's not easy to be up there, and Christianna is very good at it. She has a gift, more than I did, or her aunt, or her mother, and we don't know about her sister, if she ever tries it, which she may not. Christianna has it in her blood. Not everyone does. It's a talent to be up there, not just something you learn or decide to do. Like your horses. You said that they are born to do the tricks they perform. So was Christianna. She must use the gift."

"And if she falls?" Nick asked, trying to understand the deeper meaning of what he said and what motivated them. They were gladiators in a way, prepared to ride into battle and face their death every day. But they weren't staring death in the face, Christianna was. And he didn't want her to do it anymore. He loved her too much to lose her to the high wire.

"She won't," her father said with confidence. "She's too good at it. Much better than her mother was. She won't fall. And every day she learns that she can do something difficult, something that may frighten her, and she conquers it again and again. It will make her strong." It could also make her dead, Nick knew, but he couldn't convince them of that. They were warriors who were letting a tiny, graceful girl fight their battles for them, at her expense. He hated it, but he didn't want to say too much the first time they met. It was obvious how he felt about it. "You could break your neck falling from a horse. It doesn't stop you. You know what you're doing. So does she." He had a point, and Nick could see he wouldn't win the argument, at least not tonight. "It's hard for other people to understand."

"Maybe we're all very brave and foolish," Nick said philosophically, but he and Christianna were taking all the risks, they weren't. Her father had, and her aunt and mother, but her brothers were nothing more than observers on the ground who ran along next to the princess when she came back down to earth. It was the princess who fought the dragons every day, fearlessly. And she did it because they expected her to, and so as not to let them down. As far as Christianna and her family were concerned, it was her heritage and her duty.

Her youngest brother poured a third round of shots, which this time Nick refused, and their wives put dinner on the table, and a moment later they all sat down, crowded into the trailer, holding plates heaped with food, and Christianna sat down next to Nick, in the only empty seat, which she didn't realize her brothers had left free for her. It was their way of saying they approved of him. He wasn't one of them, but they respected his honesty and clear, simple way of expressing what he thought and who he was. Her father talked to him at length over dinner, and afterward they cleared the dishes and invited Nick to play poker with them. He was happy to oblige, as it was a game he loved, too, and played well. They beat him, but not without a fight, and all the men pounded each other's backs and embraced when he left. Her brothers were fairly drunk, but Nick and her father weren't, and their eyes met as Nick was leaving. The women had gone to bed long before, and Christianna had played a quieter card game with the boys. Lucas was winning, and squealing with delight.

"Thank you for having dinner with us," Sandor said diplomatically. It was his way of saying he approved, without uttering the words.

"Thank you for having us. It was delicious." Nick smiled at the man in the chair, who was looking at him with curiosity and new respect.

"You're an honest man. I like that. And don't worry about Christianna. She won't fall," he said again. He could see now that Nick cared about her, although he didn't know to what extent or for how long. And he didn't want his daughter getting hurt or having her heart broken, going after a man who was from another world, which her father understood too well Nick was. And if he went back to Germany, he would never take her with him, back to his old life. She would never be accepted there, nor fit in.

"I hope not," Nick said quietly, referring to his a.s.surance that Christianna wouldn't fall. It would be an unthinkable loss to him if she did, but he didn't say that to her father. He didn't have to. It was in his eyes. "I hope you're right."

"Just don't let her fall off one of your horses," her father warned him, and was only half-joking.

"I would shoot the horse myself if she did," he said with feeling. He was deeply in love with her, and he wanted to protect her from all harm.

"Come to visit us again." Sandor Markovich meant it, and smiled as he and Nick shook hands, and Christianna watched from where she sat.

"Thank you. We will. I would invite you to our trailer, but I'd have to buy hot dogs from the mess tent. I'm a miserable cook," Nick said humbly, and the man in the wheelchair laughed.

"We'll take you to a Polish restaurant," he promised. "They have very good food, better than what my daughters-in-law cooked tonight. We go there a lot during the break." It sounded like fun to Nick. He rounded up his sons then and told them it was time to leave. They picked up their jackets, and Christianna walked them out into the cool air of the Sarasota night. It had been raining, and finally stopped, and the air was fresh. They could see stars in the sky.

"They liked you," she said softly, so no one else could hear, and the boys were a few steps away, talking to each other and not paying attention to them.

"They just liked beating me at poker." He had lost ten dollars, which was a lot to him, but he was willing to sacrifice it in the interest of better family relations between their two camps. He thought the evening had gone well too. And he liked them, although he hated their att.i.tude about her, and how cavalier they were about the dangers to her, as though they were satisfied to leave her well-being in the hands of fate, and not protect her.

"No, they really liked you, and so did my father. You were very nice to them." She thanked him with her eyes.

"They were nice to me too." They were rough around the edges, but he could see their merits, and they came from a different culture than he did, and lived by the mores and traditions of the circus, but he respected it. He just didn't want it hurting her. "See you tomorrow," he said, wishing he could kiss her, but he didn't dare, in plain sight of her family and his boys. He still wanted to protect what they shared, although they had been together now for many months. They had taken an important step that night, with her father and brothers, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it now. He had proven to them, or tried to, that he was an honorable man worthy of their daughter and sister, and hopefully in time, they would respect what he and Christianna felt for each other. And in the meantime, he had held his own among the men. That was important in their culture, and he knew it was to Christianna as well. He wasn't the elitist that they had believed he was. He kept no secrets from them, about why he'd come there, or how long he planned to stay. In truth, he didn't know his plans. They all lived in an uncertain world. But he had shown them that he was an honest man, and could be one of them, and fought his battles bravely too. It was enough for now.

"I love you," she whispered to Nick before he left, out of earshot of the boys.

"I love you too," he mouthed back, and then he walked to his trailer with his boys.

"They were nice," Toby commented, surprised that the evening had been as pleasant as it was, and the food had been good.

"I beat Christianna at cards," Lucas chortled, and his father laughed.

"Well, that's a good thing. I hope you made some money at it, because her brothers beat me at poker. They're a tough bunch."

"I like her, Papa," Lucas said quietly with a yawn as they got home.

"So do I," Nick confessed just as quietly, and Toby smiled at him. He had already figured that out for himself, months before. "Now go to bed," Nick said, not ready to admit more than that to his sons. And five minutes later, their teeth were brushed, they had on their pajamas, and they were in bed. He went in to kiss them in bed and could hardly get around it, their bedroom was so small. And then he went and sat in the trailer's living room, thinking about the evening, and the family Christianna had grown up in.

He had said the truth, they were a tough bunch, but a lot of people in the circus were. They played by their own rules, and they respected the hierarchy established by what they did. And in circus life, they were n.o.bility, just as he was in his own world. The Princess and the Count, he thought to himself, as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, thinking about her. In his mind's eye, he always saw her now standing on Athena's back, as they performed their act together, with him on Pegasus. He never thought of her on the high wire anymore, only as the magical elf who rode the Lipizzaners with him. And in his mind, they always rode around the ring together on the two spectacular white horses, holding hands. It was the only image he wanted of her. She was the woman of his dreams.

Chapter 14.