Paul and His Dog Volume Ii Part 25

"Poor dear man!" muttered the gardener; "I should think so!"

"Here you are at last, monsieur! Where on earth were you hiding? what pretty behavior now! to make us scour the whole place for you!" said Thelenie when her husband appeared in the dining-room.

"I did not hide for my own amus.e.m.e.nt, madame. I have been a prisoner in a place which I certainly should not have selected for a prison."

"A prisoner! what do you mean by that?"

Chamoureau explained to his wife what had happened to him. When she learned where her husband had pa.s.sed the day, she laughed so loud and long that it seemed as if she would never stop. This outburst of hilarity seemed decidedly unseasonable to Chamoureau; but he wreaked his vengeance on the dinner; he ate enough for four, so that Thelenie said to him:

"For heaven's sake, monsieur, do you want to give yourself an attack of indigestion?"

"I have a right to, madame! When a man has pa.s.sed six hours in that place, he owes himself some compensation."

IX

THE GOLDFISH

On the following day Thelenie said to her husband:

"Monsieur, you will be dressed at two o'clock, when we will have the horses put in the caleche and go to pay some visits."

"Visits! to whom, pray, madame? we don't know anyone here."

"That is the very reason why we must make acquaintances. We do not propose to live like bears, I presume?"

"My dear love, I never pretended to pa.s.s for a bear; in the first place, I haven't that animal's hairy coat.--We will go then; and where shall we go?"

"Don't worry about that; I have obtained through Melie a list of the princ.i.p.al people of the village."

"Does your maid know them?"

"You don't understand, monsieur, that servants go to the fruit-shops and the butchers, and in ten minutes learn all they want to know."

"That is true; I am a donkey.--Shall I dress in black?"

"Why not?"

"White cravat?"

"To be sure; don't you know that it is the dress which commands consideration, before all else?"

"I shall be most imposing, madame."

"Do your utmost, monsieur."

At two o'clock, Thelenie was arrayed in a lovely gown, made in the best possible taste; the carriage was ready and waiting in the courtyard.

Madame came down and looked about for her husband.

"Where is monsieur, pray?"

"We do not know, madame."

"What on earth does this mean? I told him to be ready at two o'clock, and it's after two. Probably he hasn't finished dressing. Go and tell him to hurry. I am waiting."

The maid went up to monsieur's apartment. In a moment she returned and said:

"Monsieur is not in his room, madame, but he must be dressed, for I saw on the chairs the clothes he had on this morning."

"He is dressed, and yet he is not here! Really Monsieur de Belleville is becoming insufferable; always having to be hunted for! Can it be that he is a prisoner again in--you know, the place where he was yesterday? Let someone visit all the toilet-rooms in the house; then, if monsieur is there again, we shall find him."

The servants executed their mistress's orders; meanwhile Thelenie stepped into the caleche, murmuring impatiently:

"Mon Dieu! what an idiot I have married! but after all, he is just what I needed."

The servants returned, having visited all the most secret corners of the house and failed to find their master. This time it was certain that he was not in the house. They were about to look for him in the garden, when he suddenly appeared in the distance, drenched to the skin, with his hair glued to his face, and covered with mud from head to foot.

"Oh! monsieur! what a sight you are!" cried Thelenie; "where have you been, then? Don't come near me; you are disgusting."

"I am dripping wet, it's true. I fell into the pond, my dear love. You know, we have a fine pond on our place."

"Yes, monsieur, I do know it; but I should say that it was visible to the naked eye, and that it can hardly be mistaken for a lawn in broad daylight."

"And so, madame, I saw perfectly well that it was a pond.--I was dressed before the time, for I did not want to keep you waiting; and, seeing that I had a few minutes to spare, I walked about our magnificent gardens. I spied the pond--I didn't see it yesterday; I went close to it and looked in. What did I see? red, cherry-colored, orange fishes! It was a fascinating sight; I was dazzled. I saw one that gleamed so that its scales seemed to be gold! Faith, in my curiosity to see him nearer, I leaned over to catch him; he slipped through my fingers; I leaned over farther, and _pouf!_ I fell in among the fish and came near drowning; there's a lot of water there!"

"Oh, no! monsieur--only two feet and a half."

"Three feet, madame; and then, the fish blinded me; I couldn't find the bank. However, I succeeded in getting out."

"And in a pretty state! You don't expect to come with me in that condition, I take it?"

"No, madame; I am going to change."

"Make haste. What an idea, to try to catch one of those fish! Really, monsieur, you are worse than a child!"

"Ah! I have no luck in this place."

"Go, quickly, and change your clothes."

Chamoureau went up to his room. He was obliged to make an entire change.

However, as he had but one black coat and his wife had told him to dress in black, he had no choice but to put that one on again; but he wiped it so carefully and rubbed it with so many towels, that it was soon in condition to be worn, and indeed was as glossy and shining as a new one.

Chamoureau entered the caleche, but, although he was well cleansed, madame required him to sit opposite her, not by her side. She found that he retained from his bath an odor of goldfish which made her sick.

They drove first to Madame Droguet's; she was at the head of the list which Thelenie consulted.