Paul and His Dog Volume Ii Part 49

"Is he drunk again as he was yesterday?--You were both pretty bad."

"Oh! Freluchon, don't go back to that, I beg you!"

"If you refuse to let me laugh, I'll call you Chamoureau.--Come, come, be calm, my friend; I don't mean to make you wretched--I will leave that to your stunning spouse.--I am going to join Monsieur Thousand Sauerkrauts; that is a man I am most desirous to know more intimately."

While Freluchon betook himself to the billiard room, Doctor Antoine went from one to another of the persons whom he knew, and whispered:

"Monsieur de Belleville has a surprise in store for the dinner."

"What is it, doctor?"

"I can't tell; he has discovered a method of telling the exact age of a tree simply by examining the trunk."

"Really! how on earth does he do it?"

"Ah! that is what he is going to tell us at dinner."

"Why at dinner, pray? are we going to have trees for dessert?"

"I have told you all I know."

"I would never have believed that Monsieur de Belleville would discover anything."

"It seems that he isn't such a fool as he looks."

These last reflections came from the groups formed by the guests from Paris. Meanwhile the report that the master of the house had made an interesting discovery quickly spread through all the rooms, and reached the ears of Freluchon, who had renewed his acquaintance with the Baron von Schtapelmerg.

It was Monsieur Jarnouillard who said to them:

"It seems that Monsieur de Belleville is a man of great talent--a profound student, deeply versed in the abstract sciences!"

"Whom are you talking about?" cried Freluchon.

"Of our host, Monsieur de Belleville."

"You call Chamoureau a learned man?"

"Who is Chamoureau? where do you find a Chamoureau?"

"I find him here; that is Monsieur de Belleville's former name."

"Ah! I didn't know that circ.u.mstance."

"It makes no difference.--Why do you say that he's a profound student?"

"Because he has discovered the secret of telling the age of a tree simply by looking at the trunk."

"So! he has discovered that, has he? But look you; when he says to a tree: 'Your age is thus and so,' the tree can't contradict him."

"True! I hadn't thought of that."

"So you see that there's no great merit in that; but you are mistaken--it's not the age of trees, but the age of women that the master of this house has the knack of guessing at first sight."

"By examining the trunk?"

"Oh! I don't say what he examines; but if by the trunk you mean the torso, it may be that."

"Oh! that is much more amusing! And he never gets a year out of the way?"

"Not a week!"

"Pardieu! that is likely to lead to some very amusing revelations! What in the devil did Doctor Antoine mean by telling us that it was a matter of trees?"

"He must have heard wrong."

"I must go at once to the ladies and correct his mistake."

Monsieur Jarnouillard instantly sought his wife, who was talking with Mesdames Remplume and Droguet, and said to them:

"It isn't trees that Monsieur de Belleville tells the age of without ever making a mistake, just by examining the trunk; it's women.--So beware, mesdames! I felt I ought to warn you; he is never a week wrong!"

"What is Monsieur Jarnouillard talking about?" exclaimed Madame Droguet; "Monsieur de Belleville tells our age by examining what?"

"He says the trunk."

"What is the meaning of such indecency? Just let him try examining anything of mine and telling me how old I am--he'll get a warm welcome!"

"If I was certain that that's what we were invited here for," said Madame Remplume, "I would go away this minute!"

"Tell us our ages! the impertinent fellow! It would be very smart of him, for I don't know my own age."

"Nor I either, my dear friend! As if a woman ever needed to know her age! n.o.body but a concierge ever does, and that depends on the neighborhood."

The arrival of the mistress of the house put an end to all this t.i.ttle-tattle.

Thelenie was superb; her dress was gorgeous; her novel, original method of arranging her beautiful black hair was voted admirable, especially as some beautiful pearls and diamonds were scattered through it and produced a marvellously brilliant effect.

Never had her lovely black eyes shone with a brighter gleam, never had her smile embodied more seduction; and so, when she appeared in the salon, a concert of eulogistic remarks arose on all sides, and even Freluchon himself could not help thinking:

"She is a magnificent creature, and no mistake: fine figure, fine costume, fine face! What a pity that her heart doesn't correspond! I know that that is of no consequence in the eyes of many people, who care for nothing in a woman except what excites their senses and flatters their self-esteem. But when one has studied them a little, one knows all the harm that a woman can do to whom nature has given everything except a heart! Their power is immense! To be sure it lasts but one season; but that season is long enough for them to do much harm--and sometimes, from caprice, a little good."

Thelenie had a smile for all, an affable glance for this one, a compliment for that one; upon her arrival in the midst of her guests, her salons were transformed, and gayety and animation superseded the ennui which had begun to make headway. One bright woman is enough to effect such a miracle.

Madame de Belleville proposed a walk in the garden, where divers games had been arranged for the amus.e.m.e.nt of the company; and she set the example by leading the ladies thither. The ex-vivandiere seized the opportunity to say to her hostess in an undertone:

"My dear and lovely Madame de Belleville, is it true that your husband has discovered the secret of divining a woman's age and telling it at once, simply by examining her corsets?"

"Oh! madame, who can have told you such a thing?" said Thelenie, laughing heartily; "and how could you believe it? Who has been telling you this fairy tale?"