Passions - Healing Passion Part 8

"The fever broke a little while ago. 'Tis not certain it won't return, but it is a favorable sign."He tugged her gently to her feet and pulled her against his chest. "Thank you," he said.

The words rumbled in the ear she had pressed against him. "I can't tell you how grateful I am."

He was grateful now, but how would he feel when he learned the truth? As he would shortly.

Juliana looked up at him. "Do not thank me yet. He's not entirely out of danger." She stopped and gathered her courage. "Thomas, we need to talk. Let me call Mary to sit with Ralf."

He nodded and waited with her for the maid to appear, then they walked across the corridor to her quarters.

"Have you had any success finding who fired the bolt?" she asked him.He sighed. "None. I questioned a number of people in the keep, but no one admits to knowing anything about it. It can't be so, but they will not betray one of their own to me."

Juliana took a deep breath and stepped away from him. "Thomas, there's something I need to-"A sharp rapping sounded at the closed door, followed by a man yelling, "Lady Juliana! My lady! Are you within! Your mother-she's collapsed. We need you!"

She forgot what she was saying to Thomas, whirled, and went to the door. "What has happened to my mother?"Three people stood there and all began to speak at once."Lady Ardsley fell-""Your mother had a-"

"She went very pale and-"With all of them speaking rapidly, at the same time, she was at a loss to follow. "A moment, please. Hush." She looked at the man she thought most likely to give her a coherent answer. "George, what has happened to my mother?"

"She collapsed in the hall, my lady." Even the usually calm George sounded breathless. "We've taken her to her bed.""Is she awake? Has she said anything?"

"Nay, my lady. Her breathing... It doesn't sound right."Juliana's stomach twisted into a tight, hard knot. She'd known it would be coming, but she'd hoped not so soon. She wasn't prepared.

"I'm coming." She turned back to Thomas. The compa.s.sion in his expression almost undid her. After a brief but fierce struggle, she managed to control herself enough to say, "We still must talk, but I hope you'll forgive and excuse me now."

He nodded and came to her, put an arm around her shoulders, and hugged her to his side. "Let's go see your mother."The walk was a short one of just twenty feet or so down the corridor, but it seemed much longer to Juliana. Only Thomas's arm around her and the strength he lent kept her from breaking down. Even so she held her breath as they made their way to her mother's quarters, dreading what she would find there.

Chapter Ten.

Thomas held onto Juliana as they approached her mother's chamber. She trembled so hard, he feared she would collapse without his support. Most likely she wouldn't, though. She'd already been through much and dealt with it. She had a strength to equal the two other remarkable women he'd met, the two his friends had wed. But it pleased him to think he could give her some a.s.sistance.

The figure in the bed looked tiny and shrunken. With her eyes closed, skin pale, and features drained of all vitality, Lady Ardsley was just a tiny wisp of a woman. The spark of life burned low in her and would soon flicker out entirely.

Juliana jerked to a halt a few feet from the bed. Her startled gasp turned into a sob before she could suppress it. The sound cut off sharply, though, as she swallowed her reaction.

She finished the journey to the bed and said softly, "Mother?"For some time nothing happened, though Juliana called softly several more times.

Finally, the old lady opened her eyes and tried hard to smile. "Juliana." The word was a harsh, labored croak. "Come here, my love. I'm going home soon.""Mother, no!" An unsuppressed sob accompanied her protest."Aye. 'Tis time. I'm tired, Juliana, and the pain... The flesh is...too much of a burden. I'd be quit of it. I only want..." Lady Ardsley had to take a moment to catch her breath. "I have one more thing."

The woman turned to look at him, and even that small movement cost her effort and pain.

"Sir Thomas." She let out a small sigh. "May I speak with you?" She glanced at Juliana and the servants in the room. "In private? For a moment?""Of course, my lady." He nodded for the servants to leave.Juliana hesitated, her features twisted into an agonized frown."I'll not let her over-tax herself," Thomas promised. "And should she...get worse, I'll call you immediately."Finally Juliana sighed and nodded. "A moment or two only, please, Thomas.""A moment or two only."She left the room, her normally light, quick step, slow and heavy.Lady Ardsley watched him steadily. A small, fragile spark animated her features as she reached out painfully, groping for his hand. He took hers and clasped it. It felt like holding a bundle of bones.

"Sir Thomas."He moved closer to the bed, groping for the chair and moving it with his free hand. He sat. "My lady?"

"I am at the end of my time. I would ask a favor of you.""If it's in my power, my lady, whatever you will.""Juliana," Lady Ardsley answered. "When I'm gone...she'll have no one. None to take care of her.""She seems well able to care for herself and those who depend on her."The dying woman shook her head. "It seems so, but, truly...Thomas...she needs someone. Love and companionship. She has suffered much. More than you know. And she is so alone."

Again she had to pause to gather her strength.

"You care for her," the lady said. "I've seen it. And she cares for you.""Aye," Thomas agreed. "It should rest your spirit to know I would make her my wife, should the king approve. I have no reason to think he'll refuse."

A small smile curved the thin, pale lips. "Aye, it gladdens my heart. But..." Her chest rose and fell several times before she spoke again. "Your oath, Sir Thomas. That you'll take care of Juliana. Would you swear it to me?"

The request stunned him so, it took a moment to answer. What she asked involved a considerable responsibility, yet it was not much different from the promises he hoped to make to Juliana herself in the form of wedding vows. "My lady, if it gives you ease, I'll do so."

She gripped his hand tighter. "Please, Sir Thomas. Swear on your honor as a knight...that you'll guard and care for Juliana all the...days of your life."He put his other hand on top of hers, so that her small, frail fingers hid between his much larger ones. "My lady, I swear to you, on my honor as a knight, that I will protect and care for Juliana to the best of my ability, so long as I live."Lady Ardsley tightened her grip on his hand, a gesture of grat.i.tude, he thought. The desperate worry in her expression eased to peace and contentment. She sighed lightly as she relaxed. "Thank you, Sir Thomas. You...give my spirit peace. Take joy in...Juliana. With my blessing."

Her eyelids slid down, but then rose again more slowly. "Send Juliana to me now, if you will. But, if you please, do not tell her what...you've promised.""As you wish." He stood up, gazing down on the slight figure. The animation had once again drained from her features. "May your soul rest in G.o.d, my lady."

Thomas left the room. Several servants loitered in the hall. Two of them returned to Lady Ardsley's quarters at his nod. "Where is Lady Juliana?" he asked the woman who remained.

"With your squire, my lord.""How fares he?""I know not, but when I looked in-"She broke off as Juliana opened the door and joined him in the corridor. He met her fearful glance and nodded to indicate her mother yet lived. Relief softened her

expression. Thomas glanced toward the door through which she'd just exited."He improves, I believe," Juliana said, seeing his anxiety. "The fever has not returned. His sleep is peaceful and his heartbeat is strong."

Her expression quizzed him, but she didn't ask what her mother had wanted."She's resting," he said. "She seems at ease."A man rushed along the corridor toward them, long black robe flapping around him.

"Father Samuel," Juliana said. "I'm relieved you're here.""Your mother, my lady?"Juliana nodded.The priest bowed to her and then to Thomas. The man's ascetic features showed genuine concern as he pulled a bottle of holy oil from a pocket of his ca.s.sock. Thomas followed Father Samuel and Juliana back into the dying woman's room, watching as the priest gave Lady Ardsley the last rites, anointing her with oil and praying over her. When he asked for them all to join in prayer, Thomas knelt beside Juliana.

Once they concluded, he excused himself to check on Ralf. He found the young man sleeping peacefully, guarded by a tired servant who snapped to attention when Thomas entered. The man relaxed but showed a bit of guilt.

"Has he awakened yet?" Thomas asked.

"Nay, my lord, though he has stirred once or twice. I think 'twill not be long before he does.""Go rest a while," Thomas ordered. "I'll sit with him. Should Lady Ardsley grow worse, however, return forthwith so I may be with Lady Juliana."

The man nodded, rose, and departed.

Thomas sat in his place, watching Ralf sleep. The squire stirred occasionally and even

muttered once or twice. As it wasn't the hysterical raving of delirium, nor did it suggest any discomfort, Thomas made no attempt to quiet him.The peace and quiet gave him time to think about many things: his relationship with Juliana and the future he hoped for with her; the mysterious a.s.sailant; Lord Groswick's disappearance; the attacks on him and Ralf.The warning bell for dinner roused him from his considerations. Since no one had come to him, he presumed no changes had occurred in Lady Ardsley's condition. But when the manservant returned to relieve him, Thomas went back to see if there was any news.

Juliana and two female servants sat in chairs surrounding the bed, but the dying woman lay still and unmoving. They all looked up at him as he peered in the door. Juliana beckoned him to enter.

"She's sunk into a deeper sleep. Her breathing is slowing and her heartbeat is weak. I fear she may not wake again." Only a small break on the word "fear" betrayed Juliana's grief. Her expression was set and controlled, her eyes dry but shadowed. He wished he could embrace her, hold her against him, and let her draw on his strength, but he hadn't the right. Yet.

"Shall I bring up some dinner for you?"

Juliana looked surprised. Sunk in concern for her mother, she'd either not heard the bell or hadn't considered eating. "I don't believe I could eat.""You need to keep up your strength. Too many people depend on you."She nodded, and he went downstairs to collect food and servers. When he returned, he enlisted the help of the other two women in the room, neither of whom had any qualms

about eating, to persuade Juliana to consume a small trencher of venison stew.Later he tried to convince her to retire to bed for a few hours rest, leaving him and the servants to watch with her mother, but she refused. Even his promise that they'd send for her should there be any change failed to get her to go. He sat with her for a while instead.

Lady Ardsley's breathing slowed and grew shallower throughout the night. It stopped completely just as the sky began to lighten.Juliana leaned over to kiss her mother's face and held onto her hand, her shoulders heaving as sobs she could no longer control finally overwhelmed her. After a while Thomas moved to her side and gently drew her to her feet."She's gone. Come with me." He led her out of the room.A crowd consisting of most of the household waited outside. Many of them had been there all night. He nodded to let them know it was over. William Randolph led the others into the room as Thomas drew Juliana out. He felt sure Randolph would do what was necessary now.

He carried Juliana to her quarters, kicked the door shut behind him, and sat on the side of the bed, cradling her in his arms. She buried her head in his shirt while she wept.

Folds of cloth on either side of the shirt were bunched into her fists where she held on tightly. Her body shook and the dampness soon penetrated the fabric over his chest.

She cried in near silence, broken only by the occasional louder sob. But the tears flowed hard enough and long enough to soak most of the front of his shirt. Thomas held her firmly and brushed a hand through her hair in an attempt at comfort.

He fought back a few tears of his own, both in sympathy with Juliana's sorrow, and in a more personal regret for the pa.s.sing of Lady Ardsley. He'd liked the old lady and hoped her soul now rested with the Lord.

Juliana's weeping continued for a long time. It didn't surprise him. She'd kept a lot of grief contained within her, and it needed to come out now. He made no attempt to stop or calm her, but sat quietly, struggling with his own feelings. Holding her so felt more right than anything he'd ever known before. How long would he have to wait before he could decently talk with her about their marriage?

After a while, her crying wore down to a series of hiccupping sobs. "I got your shirt wet," she said, her voice wavering from the effects of prolonged weeping. "I'm sorry."

He laughed softly. "You've naught to regret. I've added some moisture of my own."She looked up at him, startled. She reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek with a finger, then studied it for a moment. Her face twisted, and he feared she'd break down again. "I've much to regret. But now is not the time."

The words puzzled him, but when she sighed and relaxed against him, he didn't want to disturb her by asking what she meant. She snuggled closer. Her breast squeezed into his chest, its softness a rousing pressure on his flesh. He kissed the top of her head. He wanted to kiss every other inch of her, but this wasn't the time. Instead he allowed himself to indulge in visions of a future together, possibly here, or possibly somewhere else, depending on the king's will.

When he roused from the reverie, the calm rhythm of her breathing indicated Juliana had drifted off into sleep. Carefully, so as not to rouse her, he eased her off his lap and back onto the bed, arranging her head on one of the pillows. He stood beside her to straighten her legs, then he walked around the bed and lay down beside her. He slid into sleep as well, though it didn't last long.

The angle of sunlight coming in the window when he woke told him he'd slept no more than a couple of hours. Juliana still lay in the position he'd set her in. She'd had no rest for two nights running and needed this sleep, so he rose carefully, moving slowly to avoid jarring the bed. He changed clothes quietly and eased the door shut when he left the room. He found a servant out in the hall and asked that a guard be set outside the room to ensure Juliana would not be disturbed before midday.

The servant watching over Ralf looked up and nodded to him when Thomas peeked in at that door. "He woke earlier," the woman said softly. "He wanted a drink. I got it for him and he went back to sleep." Thomas glanced toward the bed. Despite the bandages and his pale complexion, the young man looked better.

Thomas left the room, went down through the great hall and out into the bailey. The weather had changed considerably since his outing with Ralf and Bertram. Winter now tried to chase away the lingering pleasantness of fall. Clouds obscured the sky, and the wind had a raw chill to it, suggesting cold rain or even snow approaching.

Choosing people at random, he questioned those who pa.s.sed by on errands, asking them about Lord Groswick, when he left, what people thought of him as lord, where they thought he might be now.

Two people were so intimidated by him they managed to give only one or two-word answers that told him little. A third person stuttered too badly to get out more than a few words altogether. But another two did answer questions, and their uneasiness in responding began to solidify his coalescing suspicion. Groswick was not only dead, these people knew he was, and for some reason, they wanted to hide the fact.

Had he died of a normal disease or an ordinary accident, the word would surely have been pa.s.sed on to the king. Even if they wished to remain under Lady Juliana's rule, they would have known it wasn't possible. Had he died of some shameful illness such as leprosy that might have brought quarantine on them? More likely, save that he saw no sign anyone here suffered from such a thing. Plague, perhaps? But the pestilence spread with such virulence, the keep would have been much less populous.

Another, more likely possibility occurred to him. Perhaps, Groswick did still live, but was mad. 'Twould make sense they would try to conceal such a thing. But where might they have secreted him? Somewhere in the keep, for a certainty.

Thomas walked around the bailey, considering various possibilities, ducking into occasional recesses in the walls, looking into shops large enough to have back rooms. In the walls he found only storerooms for arms, grain, lumber, nails, and other supplies. The back rooms he peered into generally served as sleeping quarters for apprentices or as storerooms.

He studied other features of the main building, but saw no obvious wings or outbuildings he couldn't account for.

As he had the other day while out riding, Thomas got the feeling of unseen eyes watching him. It made him wary, remembering how that day had ended. But no crossbow bolts soared his way.

The sound of voices and a clanking of shovels or other tools led him around a wall on the far side of the keep. As he rounded the bend, he realized the wall beside him was part of the chapel. A group of five or six men worked in the area beyond, digging.

Rough wood crosses stood up from the ground at intervals, with a few stone markers in a row near a rock wall at the back. The men labored just beyond the farthest of them, excavating a new grave. For Lady Ardsley, no doubt.

He didn't want to interrupt their work, so he stopped and watched for a moment, scanning the area. A few other places showed the disturbed dirt of recent burials, some where fresh patches of gra.s.s had just begun to sprout.

The men didn't notice his presence or chose not to acknowledge it, if they did. But someone else did.

His alertness kept him from being startled or unprepared when footsteps sounded from behind him. Their quiet, halting approach suggested some attempt at stealth, or at least wariness. Thomas waited until the person was within a few feet, then ducked to the side, whirled and shot out a hand to grab the arm of the man behind him.

The man let out a startled cry. "Sir Thomas!"He was a very young man, familiar, but it took Thomas a moment to place him. "Peter Randolph? Never sneak up behind a knight. You could find your head separated from your shoulders before you had a chance to identify yourself."The young man paled. "I'm not... I didn't...""I can see you have no weapon drawn, and well for you 'tis so." Thomas released his hold on the young man, who stumbled as he tried to back away. "What might I do for you, Randolph?""Naught." The word wavered a bit. The young man drew a harsh breath and struggled to control his voice. "Naught. I just wondered...about Lord Groswick. Do you know any more of what has become of him?"

Thomas relaxed himself but considered his words before he spoke them. "I have some idea, but no clear picture. And nothing to prove what I suspect. I'm going back inside. Walk with me, if you will."

Randolph nodded and turned with him back toward the main door to the keep."What do you believe happened to Lord Groswick?" Randolph asked.Thomas stared at the younger man, studying his eager expression. It was there, not so much in his look as in his words. An undertone of challenge he surely didn't realize he let sound. Randolph knew.

"Groswick never left the castle," Thomas stated. "I know not whether he is dead and buried here, though I suspect 'tis the case, or if he be immured in some remote cranny to hide his madness or a shameful disease. But all I've learned convinces me he never left. Did you actually see him go?"

Thomas watched the young man's face carefully as he deliberated about what to say. The fact that it took him so long to decide what to say was all the answer Thomas actually needed.

"Nay, my lord. I didn't see him go. I'd been sent on an errand to the miller at Hoopsdale at the time, however."

"Aye. It appears everyone had business elsewhere on that day."Randolph remained silent for a few moments before he asked, "What will you do, my lord?"

Thomas shrugged. "What can I do? Until someone will tell me the truth, I have naught but suspicion to take to the king. How he might choose to act on it, I cannot guess."

They climbed the steps up to the great hall, where Randolph left him to go in search of his father. Thomas went back to his quarters.