Passions - Healing Passion Part 5

It convinced him. He climbed onto the bed with her, shucking his tunic and loosening the laces of his shirt as he went. Kneeling beside her, he quickly flipped her over onto her belly and tugged the robe off her completely. It went to the floor also. He stopped, frozen for a moment by the sight of her completely nude body. She was long and quite lean, but her round derriere flared nicely. The smooth expanse of her back showed another scar up near her shoulder, but that did nothing to mar the splendor of her shape. Her damply curling hair spilled partly over it, making a pleasing contrast between the dark locks and the pale skin. Her bottom had the same smooth, white flesh.

It would look even sweeter with the pink flush he was about to induce.

Still he couldn't resist running a hand over the rounded globes and watching her twitch in pleasurable but nervous antic.i.p.ation."Now, my lady, a lesson in obedience for you." He raised his hand and smacked it down smartly but not very hard on her left bottom cheek. It gave under the force and sprang back. The skin whitened for a moment under the impact, then flushed pink. Juliana gasped but didn't move or protest. He slapped down on the other side to give it a matching rose blush. Six more spanks had her squirming, then another two drew a low moan.

"Tell me when you think you've learned to obey," he said. That would leave it up to her to decide when she'd had enough and give her a way to let him know.

It surprised him when it took almost two dozen more spanks before she finally sobbed and said, "I believe I've learned the lesson, my lord." By then her derriere was growing quite rosy, shading into red in places, and in truth, his hand was getting sore as well. She was one strong-willed lady.

He rolled her onto her back, keeping his eyes resolutely away from the cleft between her legs where he longed to explore, and instead gathering her into his arms. Unshed tears glazed her eyes, making his stomach twist in dismay.

"Juliana, did I hurt you? 'Twas not my intention! I thought you understood, 'twas all a game. You could stop it whenever you wished.""I know that, Thomas." A grin made the tears still washing her eyes sparkle. "I did not want it to end too soon. It hurt, a little, but not so much. And it was very...exciting as well. The hurt seemed to change as it sank in and became something else."

"Ah, that's as it should be. And, now, my lady, as you've submitted your will to me, I have one more thing to show you." He set her back down on the bedcovers and leaned down to kiss her. His c.o.c.k was so swollen it hurt to move, but he forced himself to ignore it. He licked across her lips and invaded the hot, sweet depths of her mouth, until she reached up and dragged him down, forcing him to stretch out next to her with her legs and chest against his.

He allowed it for a few minutes, then backed away and slid down the bed. As he did so, he ran his tongue down her throat and along her chest until he reached a breast. Making gentle circles, he licked around the right one, moving higher until he finally reached the tip. She squealed loudly when he licked across the nipple. He repeated the sequence on the other breast, tonguing the peak until she all but sobbed. With a gentle suction, he drew the tip into his mouth. The taste of her was sweeter than mola.s.ses, the texture of her skin finer than the smoothest pudding.

When he moved to the other side, she threaded her fingers into his hair and held onto him. The pressure in his groin beat so ferociously it took every bit of his will not to let it loose on her. When he knew he could take no more, he backed away and slid off the bed.

Her eyes widened and she looked puzzled. He came back and kissed her temple gently, then handed her the robe. "Enough for tonight. This is a feast not a snack, so we'll take each course in its time."

"As you wish, my lord." Her tone sounded the regret she refused to put into the words."'Tis better this way. Trust me.""Aye," she agreed. "Then we'll meet again tomorrow night?""Save you do not wish it."She laughed. "Oh, I'll wish it, Thomas. I wish it now more than I can say. But...

Tomorrow night, it should be your turn to submit to me."

He turned to her, stunned at first, then feeling a laugh rise inside as it sank in. She

wanted to play this game as much as he did. His joy in it struck so deep he almost spent on the spot. Fortunately he managed to contain it long enough to help her back into her robe and escort her down the hall to her solar.

His men weren't in sight, thank heavens, as he raced back to his chamber after kissing her one last time at her door. He got inside, bolted the door and settled back onto the bed, freeing himself of his clothing as he crossed the room. The bed groaned as he fell across it, a hand already pumping at his raging c.o.c.k.

With the memory of Juliana's glorious, bare body fresh in his mind, the sweet taste and texture of her still pleasant on his tongue, her soft moans and squeals ringing in his ears, he wanted to make it last. But he couldn't take it slow. The force of his need refused to be contained. The pleasure rolled over and through him like a tidal wave, sweeping all his will and need before it. Three strokes of his hand up and down his c.o.c.k and it spurted seed onto his hand and chest.

The relief was as enormous and welcome as the need had been hot and raging. He rested, spread across the bed, until he had his breathing back under control and he thought he could walk again. He felt a little guilty and a little foolish, but he could no more have stopped it than he could hold back the wind.

After a while, he got up and rang for the servants to clean up. How long a mourning period would be demanded, he wondered, once he delivered his report concerning the likely demise of Lord Groswick? How long before he could wed Juliana and make her his own in every possible way?

Chapter Seven.

Juliana got through most of the morning without anyone noticing, or at least commenting on, how distracted she was. She dealt calmly with a dispute between a pair of crofters, a complaint by one of the dairymaids, a crisis in the kitchens over tallow for candles, and the discovery that mice had gotten into the linen closet.

No one reacted oddly to her or treated her any differently, so they likely didn't see the profound change within her, or the conflict tearing her apart.Whether he knew it or not, Sir Thomas was laying siege to her heart, and she feared he wouldn't have to fight very hard to win command of it. She didn't know what to do about that. It felt both wonderful and agonizing at the same time.

Aside from her silly days back when she was eleven or twelve and had a crush on her stepfather's squire, no man had ever captured her interest this way.

She had long yearned for someone to love her in the way she'd heard of in stories told by minstrels and bards. Like most young girls, she'd adored listening to the tales of brave, handsome knights performing valiant deeds and rescuing lovely maidens who won their hearts. She'd quickly grown out of believing in such tales, but a secret yearning for it had lingered far back in her mind, even as she'd come to realize the only one who would rescue her from anything was herself.

Sir Thomas came dangerously close to being her fantasy knight, with his handsome looks and n.o.ble carriage. His kind heart and sense of humor completed the picture of a valiant and n.o.ble knight. He deserved better than the heartbreak she would bring him.

She was no beautiful, innocent maiden. Perhaps once she had been. But now she had ugly scars marring her face, thanks to the man who should have been her lord and protector. Worse, she had ugly stains on her soul as well.

She should stop whatever bloomed between herself and Sir Thomas before it turned to hate, as it would when he learned the truth. Was there any way out of this? Any way that wouldn't cause him heartbreak and pain?

"You were looking for me, my lady?"

The voice interrupted her uncomfortable musings. Juliana looked toward the door. "Peter, aye, I need to speak with you."Among the servants and freemen, especially the female ones, Peter Randolph, the bailiff's son, displayed the c.o.c.ky swagger of a barely restrained peac.o.c.k. In her presence, though, he acted more subdued."The night he arrived here, someone fired a crossbow at Sir Thomas. I know you train with some of the other young men in using the crossbow, so you likely know who it was. I don't ask you to tell me, but I do ask that you make all aware I will not have Sir Thomas or any of his men injured or worse. Another such attempt will force me to take stronger action."

She studied the young man's face. His expression had slipped into a combination of fear and resentment.

"Will you tell all and be sure they understand how much I mean it?"Peter nodded jerkily. "But, my lady... He is a danger to you. He'll learn what happened and report it to the king."

"Perhaps he'll learn the truth, and he'd likely report it to the king if he does. But if that happens, I'll face it. I'll not have anyone hurt or killed to prevent it happening."

"My lady, it's being told about that you shared his bed."Her blood fired with a combination of embarra.s.sment and anger. Her voice was harsh when she answered. "Should I have done so or not, 'tis no concern of yours."

"Aye, my lady, 'tis true. I beg your pardon." He made an awkward attempt at a bow.

"We fear for you, my lady. No one here would have anything happen to you.""I know that. But some things cannot be prevented. And some should not. Many things remain to be settled yet, and I know not how all of them will finish. I do know this, however. If Sir Thomas or his men are harmed, my conscience will never again know any rest at all. It will destroy me. And I will, I a.s.sure you, learn who did the deed and see them punished severely." She drew a breath and looked at the young man. "Let that be known to all."He nodded, but there was still a mulishness about his expression that made her fear- for Sir Thomas, for herself, and for him as well."Aye, my lady. If I may be excused?" The boy bowed and made his exit.Juliana got up and paced across the room a few times. A series of thunking sounds outside drew her to the window to watch the men-at-arms practicing in an enclosed court at the far end of the bailey. The noise she'd heard was the sound of arrows. .h.i.tting wooden targets. An admirable number of them protruded from the wood, as only a dozen or so men practiced.

Closer to her window, another group watched as Sir Thomas demonstrated some technique of sword use. Given that he seemed to move in a fairly normal side to side manner, she couldn't guess what he showed them. The men, however, paid close attention, and several mimicked his motions with the blank wood swords they used for practice.

Then he showed them something involving a lunge. The sun glittered off his hair, turning it a bright gold color. He moved nimbly, with an agile grace surprising in a man who was taller than all but one of those gathered around him. The others attempted to mimic his action, and Sir Thomas moved among them, offering a word here, changing the angle of an arm there. Occasionally he exchanged a few words with one. The positions of their bodies told her the conversations were friendly and the men showed him considerable respect as well as good humor.

He would be the perfect lord for this keep-a man others admired and respected. An honorable, n.o.ble man. One she felt sure would treat justly with all to the best of his ability. And as he was an intelligent and very determined man, his ability should be considerable.

Perhaps they could continue to keep him in the dark about Lord Groswick's fate. Let him report to the king that Groswick remained missing and was likely dead on some foreign sh.o.r.e. Would the king make him baron of this estate as reward for his service? Give him her hand in marriage? If she made it clear she wished it, was it not likely?

She rested her head against the side of the window as she watched Sir Thomas walk among her men-at-arms, now showing them something involving a staff. These were good people who served them here. They'd suffered too much under Lord Groswick's heavy-handed rule and deserved better. They deserved a lord who would care for them, nurture them, protect them, and help them to a better life.

What did she deserve? She knew all too well the answer to that.

Juliana drew a long breath and tried not to sob as she let it out. She found a shawl and all but ran down to the chapel, which was empty at this time of day.

She sank down on a kneeling bench, praying and weeping at the same time. Her prayers were a muddled mix of pleas for forgiveness, for help for the people of Groswick, for peace for her mother, for Sir Thomas's safety, and guidance in what to do next.

Only one answer came to her, and it was of limited use. She could have a peaceful future here, if Sir Thomas would go away and not come back. It would be a lonely, empty time, made meaningful only by the necessity to do her duty for the land and people. If she wanted Sir Thomas in her future, however, she would have to be honest with him. He deserved that, even though it might indeed cost her his love. She couldn't live a lie with him, knowing he might-surely would!-someday learn the truth and have to make the agonizing choice of what to do about it.

She needed time, however. She couldn't tell him yet. Not until after her mother had pa.s.sed to her rest. Of course even if she didn't tell him, he might not go away, and he might well find out what she'd done. What would he do then?

What she needed more than anything else, though, was strength. Strength to do what had to be done, and when it had to be done. Before she left the chapel, she said a pair of Ave Marias and Pater Nosters under her breath, begging for the courage and will she would need.

As if to mock her agony, on her way out of the chapel, a pair of servants came to tell her a company of entertainers had arrived and begged leave to perform for them that night.

Her heart squeezed. How could she bear to watch the antics of tumblers and jugglers when she was torn so? Yet, it would bring pleasure to her people, and in that she found comfort and satisfaction.

"Bid them come in and be welcome," she told the servants as she went to consult with the weavers over needed linens.

Late in the afternoon, Sir Thomas found her in the kitchens, consulting with the cook over the use of a deer one of their hunters had brought in. She finished and went with him to her office to hear his report.

"Your defenses are not so bad as you fear, my lady," he said when they were private. "You have a decent fighting force, though their training is not as sharp as it might be. They're also somewhat young."

"A few years ago Groswick made an abortive raid on one of our neighbors to the north. It cost us many of our men.""That was poorly done, unless he truly had reason to think he could conquer."

Juliana shrugged. "I know not. In truth I think he felt he needed to prove something. To his men, perhaps.""Your captain is a competent leader and has a sensible approach to manning the fortifications. I made one or two suggestions to him that I expect he will employ. He's not as strong at training the men, though."

"I saw you demonstrating some moves to them earlier. 'Twould be well if you could stay for a time to train our troops. I believe you have the gift of it, Sir Thomas."His expression went serious. The glow faded from his blue eyes. "Juliana, it would give me great pleasure to do so. But that decision is not mine. I have a mission to perform. When that is done, I hope to be able to return. To you and to your keep."

"It would please me."Perhaps fortunately, the warning bell for dinner sounded at that moment.Juliana could barely eat for the nerves tightening her stomach, yet at the same time she wished it would end all the quicker than it did. Further interaction with Sir Thomas of the sort they'd been having was dangerous-to her heart, her soul, and her spirit. But she'd more or less promised him this night, and she couldn't go back on her word.

The cooks provided a superb dinner of stewed venison so savory the aroma had her near to drooling before they began to eat. The taste lived up to the promise of the smell, with meat and vegetables tender enough to give easily when bitten, but not cooked mushy, and seasoned to perfection.

A day spent demonstrating fighting techniques and teaching her men to perform them

put Sir Thomas in a high humor."Your cooks have done themselves proud yet again, my lady," he said after tasting the stew. "If the quality of the meals denotes the quality of the management of an estate, yours is among the best."

"Perhaps it does. Or perhaps it just signifies that we are fortunate to be blessed with such a talented head cook.""A blessing indeed. I have a great, empty cavern in my stomach waiting to be blessed with this wonderful food."

"Is your stomach then a worthy chapel to contain such blessings?""I would not claim it so on my own. But with G.o.d's grace, aye, I believe it to be.

Certainly it is eager to claim the blessing, so it will do whatever is necessary to be found worthy. Needs it your benediction as the lady of the keep?""I am not worthy to confer blessings of any sort, and only count myself fortunate for what little grace comes my way."His gaze on her turned momentarily serious. "A great deal of grace resides in you, my lady, and flows from you at every word and every turn."

"Nay, my lord. 'Tis no false modesty when I say I can make little claim on any grace.""You need make no claim, my lady. 'Tis already a part of you."He would continue to say sweet words to her and flatter her throughout the meal despite her efforts to deflect him.

Once the meal had concluded, the troop of entertainers began to perform.

The group consisted of six men ranging in age from a youth no more than fifteen or

sixteen to the leader, who was likely in his late thirties. They were good. So very good, in fact, that for a while even Juliana lost herself in amus.e.m.e.nt at their antics. The tumblers formed elaborate structures of human limbs by climbing all over each other and balancing in the most impossible positions. They bounced all around the hall, doing flips and cartwheels, handsprings and handstands. They rolled along benches, somersaulting the entire length of the plank, did handsprings over the tables and headstands on them.

They clowned as well, interacting with the people present. One lithe, handsome young man circled the room, kneeling or bowing before every woman in the place, making sheep's eyes at her, or presenting her a stiff cloth folded into various amazing shapes.

The audience laughed and clapped and had a marvelous time. Children screamed and cheered. Parents had to restrain rambunctious youngsters from attempting the same feats they'd just seen performed. Juliana's mother laughed until the tears streamed down her face and she struggled to get her breath again.

Seeing her gasp, Juliana would have called halt to the entertainment, but her mother would have none of it. "Nay, my dear," she insisted even as she strove to take a breath. "It has been far too long since we've had such merriment. In truth, I cannot remember ever hearing laughter such as this in this hall. Let it go on. I'm no worse than usual and I feel the joy lightening my soul."

Juliana nodded and acceded to her mother's wishes.The tumblers ran to a corner of the room where they exchanged their multi-colored finery for another set. They brought back with them b.a.l.l.s of various sizes and colors, sets of staves, stuffed cloth bags, and extra shoes and hats. Their juggling was a wonder to behold. Every one of them could sustain three b.a.l.l.s in the air at once. They did it in harmony, with all of them tossing b.a.l.l.s at exactly the same time and speed.

Then some of them changed the b.a.l.l.s for long, round staves. They juggled those with

even more aplomb, catching them and flipping them up end over end. Other jugglers added another ball or even two to the mix. A pair of them began tossing b.a.l.l.s and staves back and forth while juggling. Shoes somehow became mixed in, with a juggler sometimes managing to pull one off his own foot and adding it into the batch without ever dropping anything. Then their hats also became part of the round robin juggling, flying back and forth.

By the end of the performance, the jugglers stood in a circle in the center of the hall, juggling from one to the next, pa.s.sing each item around in a circle. Each performer took the item, juggled it a few times with the things he already had, then tossed an item onto the next one in the circle. b.a.l.l.s went around this way, but so did the staves, shoes, hats, drinking cups they'd borrowed from nearby tables, and even a couple of leftover bread trenchers. They kept it going for an amazingly long time before they all, at some unseen signal, tossed the items they had straight up in the air and caught each one.

Amidst laughter and applause, the performers bowed to the room, and then bowed to each other, over and over. It drew even more laughter from the crowd. Finally the one who appeared to be the leader of the group went down the line, turning each person to face the table where Juliana sat.

They bowed in unison."My lord and lady, 'tis a pleasure to perform before your household this night," the leader said. "I thank you for the gracious hospitality given and trust that we've provided some measure of amus.e.m.e.nt and entertainment for you this evening."Juliana glanced toward Thomas. The amus.e.m.e.nt lit his face to a fine glow, making him even more stunningly handsome. He nodded to her and she stood, facing the group."Gentlemen, we are indeed highly entertained by your performance. I do believe, in fact, you've brought more joy and laughter to this hall than has been heard here in far too long. Avail yourselves of our hospitality for the night, and in the morning, I'll have for you a payment worthy of your performance."The jugglers broke out in applause this time and they each did a handspring or cartwheel in reaction."Many thanks, indeed, my lady," the leader said. "And blessings be on this household."Juliana bowed as well and then turned to leave the room. She heard Sir Thomas rise behind her. Others got up and began to clear off the tables, take them apart, and slide

them aside to make room for those who would sleep in the hall.She looked back to see if his men accompanied Sir Thomas. They didn't, and the grin he gave her made clear he would hold her to her word for the evening. Her stomach fluttered with a mix of excitement and doubt. She changed quickly into a fresh shift and a satin overrobe, taking off her cap and letting her hair hang loose. As she drew her comb through it to smooth it out, she realized how freeing her hair seemed to free her soul or spirit from the constraints of the day's duties.