Passions - Healing Passion Part 2

"You've been here how many years, John Cookson?" Thomas asked."All my life, my lord," the man answered. "My father was head cook here before me.""You knew Lord Groswick well enough then?"The man shrugged. "How well does a cook know the lord of the keep?""Usually very well indeed, though not necessarily from personal contact," Thomas suggested.

The man looked up from his pot. The words had surprised a small grin from him,

though it faded quickly. "Ah well, you have the right of that. I knew my lord well enough in that way.""And what sort of man would you say he was?"John looked back down into his pot and stirred thoughtfully for a moment before he answered. "A hard lord. He was raised with no softness, though being the only son of his father, he grew to expect he could have aught that he wished. A man with no gentleness in him, though as to that, I suppose 'tis not so different from most other lords." The cook slanted him a suspicious look from narrowed eyes.

"Would you say he was a fair lord?"Again the thoughtful pause ensued. "As to that, I cannot truly judge."An interesting reply, Thomas thought. "Lady Juliana tells me Lord Groswick has been gone over a year now, with no word from him. Does that seem strange to you?"

The answer took long enough in coming. Thomas began to wonder if the man was

habitually so slow to speak. If not, then was it his presence or the subject matter making him so uncomfortable?"Nay, not so strange. My lord's will was his own, and he looked to no one else's needs, wants, or pleasure in his actions. He would not likely have felt he must send messages or word of his plans here. He'd not have thought of it, save that he needed something from us."

"Did you know anything of his plans when he left?"

The man stopped stirring for a moment and drew a deep breath. "I believe he was to meet the Prince on the Continent, my lord.""You heard no whisper that their true destination might be some other place. Or that they planned a stop somewhere?"

The man shook his head. "Nay.""How many rode out with him?"The hand holding the spoon showed a slight tremor. "I know not that I can recall with any accuracy. Perhaps two dozen.""Did you know those who rode out with him?"John turned a look on him that showed distress and worry. "Nay, my lord. That is..."

He paused and took a breath. "They were my lord's foster brothers or mercenaries who attached themselves. I knew them not at all well."

"So you wouldn't know if the men's families had heard any word from them?""Nay, my lord." The man let out a breath in a sigh that sounded relieved. Thomas wondered what question he had feared would be asked.

"Know you the names of those men?"John stiffened and drew a sharp breath. "Sir Robert of... I know not where, my lord.

There was a Sir Wilfred and Lord Adam of...Exeter, was it? Forgive me, my lord, but I am poor with names."So poor he couldn't give a single name specific enough to let him trace the person. But then the man was a cook. He had no reason to be concerned with the names of n.o.ble

visitors, save that they were normally the subject of much gossip.Thomas sighed himself. "Thank you for your help, John." He started to leave, then stopped and turned around as thought of another question. "Lady Juliana and Lord Groswick were wed near three years past. How did Lord Groswick feel about the lady?"

"My lord!" John said sharply. "'Tis not my place to talk about my lord and his lady that way." He drew a couple of breaths. "But you know Lady Juliana. She is a lady both sweet and wise beyond her years. How could anyone fail to love her?"

"How indeed?" he asked. Thomas thanked the man and took his leave.He stopped to ask a young man pa.s.sing by if he knew where the housekeeper might be found and followed the directions given. On the way he mused that this might be the oddest keep he'd ever been in.

Chapter Three.

Juliana made it through her remaining morning ch.o.r.es. She only dropped one cup, shattering it, a piece of marking charcoal in the main storeroom, and a loaf of bread in the kitchen. Not bad, she decided, considering how badly she was shaking. Just after midday, she talked to John, the head cook, concerning food plans for the next few days,

and managed it with only a slight tremor or two.

Unfortunately, the cook, a grizzled older man with thick body and huge hands, noticed her shaken condition.

"My lady, forgive my impertinence, but is all well with you?" he asked."Aye, of course."The man nodded. "I feared that Sir Thomas's arrival might have discomposed you. He is asking questions."She drew a deep breath. "Aye, I know.""He asked a number of questions about my lord and his men. He also asked about yourself and Lord Groswick and how he regarded you. None here will betray you, my lady."

"I know that. And I do appreciate your loyalty, considering that I am not native here."The cook's homely face broke into a grin. "Ye may not have been born here, my lady, but it has been clear since shortly after you arrived that ye belonged here."

Remembering her husband's treatment of her, Juliana sighed. "Clear, perhaps, to some, but certainly not all.""Now, my lady, fret ye not. All will be well."

She summoned a smile for his benefit. "I thank you, John."When she stopped briefly in the great hall for a midday meal, she learned that Sir Thomas had questioned several of the household staff about Lord Groswick. The two who spoke to her directly stressed that they'd said nothing to him beyond the fact that their lord had left some time ago and they'd heard nothing from him since.

By the time she returned to her solar for a quick afternoon rest, her nerves were strung tight. Finding someone already waiting for her there didn't improve her state of mind.

"Mother?"Lady Ardsley rose from the bench where she'd been resting. "You spoke with Sir Thomas earlier. What does he know?"

"He knows little, but he suspects much. He knows Groswick didn't meet the Prince in France, and he's been able to find no evidence that he ever made the journey. He seems to have checked quite thoroughly."

"Tell me all."Juliana related as much as she could remember of her conversation and also told her what John had said about the questions Sir Thomas asked him. The longer she spoke, the more agitated her mother became. She stood and paced up and down the room. "He's no fool, this Sir Thomas. And he seems quite determined as well." She stopped and turned to Juliana. "He could be dangerous.""He is dangerous. In more ways than just the one."Her mother gave her a hard stare. Juliana loved her mother, but she had also grown in understanding of her over the past few years. The mind within the wizened figure, hidden by her charming, sometimes silly, chatty manner, was both sharp and calculating. Juliana wondered what scheme she was hatching now. Even at that, she wasn't prepared for what her mother said next.

"You'll have to seduce him.""What? Mother! What in heaven do you mean?""What I said. Come, Juliana, you're no child anymore. You know what it means to seduce a man.""I know what it means, though I know not why you think I'm capable of such a thing.""Every woman is capable of it, but your beauty makes you more capable than most."She shook that off. Whatever beauty she might possess had had little influence on Lord Groswick. And now her face bore ugly scars as a result."I know not how I would go about it.""I can tell you. Men have their weaknesses. And it seems Sir Thomas has been celibate for some time, which will make him more susceptible yet. I cannot think a man such as he finds that easy." The older woman sighed. "I've seen him watch you, as well. He's drawn to you whether he wants it so or not."

"But, mother! Why would I do such a thing? What can it gain me?"Her mother paused and started pacing again. "He's going to learn... He's too intelligent and too persistent. He already suspects something is amiss. I think he's already wondering if Groswick actually left the keep at all. He's mentioned being unable to find anyone who saw his party pa.s.s on the road. If he doesn't already wonder, he will shortly when he finds no one in the vicinity admits to seeing him. Or if they do, their stories may not match." Her mother drew a deep breath, paused in her pacing, and lifted her head to look at Juliana again. "I fear for you. He's a hard man. I fear there's little mercy in him."The familiar fear washed over her, but she tried to deny it. "He's an honorable man.

He'd understand if we explained the circ.u.mstances."

"We cannot depend on that. You must tie him to you in a stronger way. He'll be much less likely to denounce a woman he's lain with.""Denounce...""We've known all along how the world would view what happened, though none who know you and Groswick would question it."

Juliana sighed. She hated the lies with all her soul. The fact that so many others were

imperiling their souls in the same way on her behalf tore her conscience to shreds at times. And Sir Thomas had seemed so kind and understanding. "Perhaps I should just tell him..."

"Nay!" Her mother turned sharply to face her. "You'll do no such thing." Her always pale face grew even whiter, and she appeared to waver.Juliana helped her to a chair. "I don't like the lies and the deception, Mother. I fear it may cause more serious harm."

"I've told all that no harm is to be done to Sir Thomas or his men. There should be...no repeat of the...crossbow episode." Lady Ardsley struggled with her breath again."Have you learned who did it?"

"Nay, though I'd guess 'twas Peter Randolph. You know how he idolizes you."The bailiff's son had adored her from the moment she'd arrived. "Aye. He is my guess as well. I'll have a word with him."

Her mother nodded. "You must do something to bind Sir Thomas as well. He's too great a danger to you.""I cannot believe you truly want me to seduce him. He'll resist it. He still sees me as a married woman, and to lay with me would be adultery. I think he'll not want that on his conscience." She sighed. "I don't want it on my conscience that I led him into that sin. Though why I should now get so nice with my conscience I know not. There are enough stains on it already."

Her mother stood and came over to pat her shoulder. "Nay, Juliana. What happened was an accident. You bear no responsibility for it. Only Groswick can be blamed.""How does one blame a man who is dead?""One doesn't. Nor does one blame oneself for the accident that killed him."

"If we hadn't argued, though, and I hadn't tried to push him away from me...""He might have killed you instead. Of the two of you, the world is better with you still in it and him not, rather than the other way round."

"It matters little. Sir Thomas will not be able to prove anything in any case.""Nonetheless, the more we can do to minimize the risk, the better.""What would you have me do, Mother? I was unable to rouse my husband. I see no reason why I should be able to seduce Sir Thomas.""I've seen him look at you with the heat of desire in his eyes," her mother answered. "A heat I never saw in Groswick's. Not for you, nor for any other woman. He was not a man for women."Her mother began pacing again. After a moment of that, she said, "Offer him a bath tonight. He'll surely take the offer. And, of course, as the lady of the household, 'twill be your duty to a.s.sist him. You'll rouse him. He has noticed you, Juliana. I saw the way he looked at you. And, truly, how great a burden can it be? He's a comely man and appears to be an honorable one. He treats courteously all who cross his path."

"I do believe him an honorable man. And therein lies the problem. I dislike to have it on my conscience that I lured him into an act he'll consider dishonorable.""You must protect yourself as much as possible, Juliana. For my sake, if for no other. What would I do without you? I'm an old woman with little more life left, but I'll leave it more happily knowing your future is secure."

"Mother..." Juliana sighed, knowing her mother had found the one sure way to win her compliance. "So be it. Tell me what I must do."

Chapter Four.

Dinner that evening was a more festive affair then usual. Juliana had planned with the cook to serve a more bountiful variety of foods at the meal, in honor of Sir Thomas's presence. Fortunately, with the harvest just behind them, supplies were plentiful. She made sure as well that servants would keep the pitchers of wine full and cups refilled quickly.

The best gown she owned was the one in which she'd been married to Lord Groswick, but she couldn't bear the thought of putting it on again. Her second-best gown was still a grand enough affair, with long, flowing sleeves in deep rose velvet, worn over a shift with green embroidery at the bosom and hem. The color suited her.

Thomas's reaction when she entered the hall was all she could have hoped for. His expression had been somewhere between neutral and a frown as he talked to William Randolph, the bailiff, but it changed to astonishment and wonder when he turned and caught sight of her.

She heard others commenting, but all her attention centered on Sir Thomas. It pleased her that he was so very different from Groswick in looks. His sky blue eyes could be hard and compelling, but they could also sparkle with amus.e.m.e.nt or shine with admiration, as they did now. They were so very unlike Groswick's impenetrably dark eyes which never seemed to show any emotion other than disdain or anger. And Sir Thomas's very light blond hair reminded her of the angels on the tapestries in the chapel. Not that anything else about the man was so ethereal, however. He had a solid presence one could not ignore when he was in the same room. Still, she wanted to touch his hair, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

When their gazes met, she felt the same strange sense of connection and sharing she'd had yesterday when she'd first seen him. It was almost as though he could reach inside her and draw out something she barely knew existed, or something that existed only because he was there. That strange and different sensation made her feel a bit shaky with a combination of fear and excitement.

"My lady, you look splendid tonight," Thomas said. "How any man could bring himself to leave you after setting eyes on your loveliness, I cannot imagine.""You flatter me, my lord." She couldn't hold his gaze and dropped her eyes.

"May I escort you to your seat?"She nodded and placed her hand on the arm he offered. A surge of tingling warmth spread through her fingers and up her arm, into the rest of her body, from the spot where her hand lay on the fabric of his sleeve. When he moved, she felt the flex of hard muscle under the linen.

It was difficult to break the connection when they arrived at their seats. She'd never wanted to cling to anyone other than her mother, but she had to fight a desire to put her hand back on his arm and try to hold onto him.

He placed her in her usual spot at the left side of the center chair. She swept an arm out to invite him to take the lord's place. As he was the only member of the n.o.bility present other than herself and her mother, courtesy demanded he have that seat. Her own desires accorded with the requirement.

Dinner went smoothly, with the courses arriving in good order, and well-cooked, as it always was. She watched the servants refill Sir Thomas's wine cup several times. She drank somewhat more than she normally would herself, but it helped steady her nerves for what lay ahead. A group of servants performed musical numbers they'd practiced as entertainment after dinner. They were in fine voice and, apparently inspired by the presence of guests, outdid themselves in both enthusiasm and melody.

As the meal concluded, before he could tell her he was ready to bid her goodnight, she turned to him and said, "I've had a bath prepared for you, my lord. I regret we had not the time to provide one last night, but we'll make up the lack this night."

"And will you a.s.sist me, my lady?" he asked.

He was making this almost too easy. "Of course, my lord. 'Tis both my duty and a pleasure in this instance."His smile transfigured his face, making it the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. It made her breath hitch in her chest and her heart pound harder. When he stood, she did

as well."If you'll retire to your quarters, my lord, you'll find the bath awaits. Leave the door unbarred and I'll join you in a moment." She held up an arm and let the wide sleeve swing free. "This is not the best choice to wear while bathing a guest."

"Nay. Dress more comfortably, and I'll await your attentions." He bowed to her, then to everyone in the hall, and left.

Juliana hurried to her quarters, where she found her mother waiting for her, along with her maid.

"The bath has been prepared for him," Lady Ardsley announced as her maid helped Juliana out of the velvet overgown."Mother, are you well?" Juliana asked, noting how very pale her mother was and the way her hands shook even more than usual.

"Well enough, my love. Today has not been one of my better days."

That was as close as Lady Ardsley would come to admitting she was in considerable pain."Go to your bed," Juliana directed, then looked at the maid. "Avice, settle my mother, and then fetch some of the pain tincture from the herb room for her."

Normally her mother protested vehemently against taking the medicine which tasted

foul and left her feeling dizzy afterward, though it did help her sleep on her bad days. It was some measure of her condition that she made no demurral.

The maid nodded. Her mother stopped as she was leaving and came back to give

Juliana a spasmodic hug. Then, as though embarra.s.sed by the display of emotion, she

turned and left as fast as she was able.Juliana watched her go, put a light wrapper over her shift, and went down the hall to Sir Thomas's solar. As promised, the door was unbarred.

She peeked in. The tub sat near the fireplace in the s.p.a.cious solar allotted to important guests, and Sir Thomas sat in it. His back was to her, his blond head resting on the side. "Come in, Lady Juliana," he called, without turning around to verify her ident.i.ty. "I sent my squire and my man out for a while."

She drew a deep breath and moved into the room, searching for the towels and soap the servants should have left. She found them on a stool beside the tub. It took all her courage to turn around and face him.

He wasn't as relaxed as he wanted her to think. Though his head tilted back, apparently at rest, his eyes were narrowed and watched her intently. His arms lay along the sides of the tub, but his fingers clutched at the edge with more force than needed to keep him steady.

She didn't want to stare at him, but could hardly restrain herself. He was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. She'd known it from the moment she first looked up in the great hall and met his gaze, but seeing him now, stripped down to his skin and the essence of his being, she understood better.

This was a man who did not need the outer trappings of knighthood and good birth to

impress. Confidence rode his shoulders like a cloak, and n.o.bility radiated from him in a

halo echoed by his golden-blond hair.At the same time there was something utterly sensual about him as well. His skin was firm and sleek over hard muscle. It almost begged her to touch it. A light pelt of blond hair covered the center of his chest, narrowing toward his waist. G.o.d had indeed created a creature of near-perfection in this man, and that in itself, was enough to make her wonder about her course. But she'd promised her mother.

Juliana moved the stool closer to the tub, set the towels aside and sat down. She rubbed soap on a cloth and reached over to wash his shoulder. "I hope you'll forgive me if I'm somewhat awkward at this, Sir Thomas. I've had few occasions to practice. You'll tell me if I do something that...bothers you."