Outsiders. Part 21

Taj's smile was wicked. "I agree with them on that. You can't really know what another place is like until you go there. But a lot of people prefer their own s.p.a.ce to any other. So, you'd know what Botswana was like by going there, but you might hate every minute of it."

Laurie looked at her for a few moments, clearly seeing that she was teasing. "Do you think I'd like it?"

Taj pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed in thought. "I'm not sure. The Kalahari Desert covers the majority of the country. How you feel about deserts?"

Getting into the game, Laurie said, "Hmm, I feel pretty good about them. Especially if they have animals I wouldn't get to see anyplace else."

"You can probably see most of the animals they have at the Bronx Zoo, but if you want to see them running free, you've probably got to leave New York."

"What else do they have?" Threading her fingers together, she put her hands under her head and scanned the star-filled sky while waiting for Taj to respond.

"If you get tired of the desert, there is an area up in the north of the country that has a few good-sized hills and more varied terrain. That part isn't tropical, so the weather is more...interesting. That's where most of the really good basket weavers live too. Do you like baskets?"

"Who doesn't like a good basket? So far it sounds like I would like Botswana."

"I like it. Things have been good for quite a while now. The economy has been growing and people seem to get along well. They're trying to increase their tourism, so they'd be happy to have you."

"If I were to go somewhere, somewhere exotic, where would you send me?"

"That's a big question. I've spent most of my time in Asia, South Asia, and Africa. So my view of the world is definitely skewed."

"It has to be less skewed than mine is. I went to the trouble of getting a pa.s.sport to go to Canada. I wanted to make sure I could prove who I was in case I got into a scuffle and was thrown into one of those Canadian jails."

Taj had been discreetly studying Laurie's face and she started to smile when the corner of Laurie's mouth twitched. "I've heard about those jails. People in Turkey often say they'd go to North America if it weren't for the threat of being thrown into a Canadian prison."

"You can't be too sure."

Taj furtively moved her hand across the s.p.a.ce that separated them and gave Laurie a playful tickle. "I think you can be too sure. You have to tolerate some uncertainty to see the fun side of life."

"Do you really think that's true?"

"I'm afraid it is. Life is brutal, painful, demoralizing and tragic. And it's over in the blink of an eye. I believe you've got to find pleasure and take it whenever you can."

"My mom wouldn't have liked you," Laurie said, her smile looking a little sad. "She thought that life was all about having a little security and holding onto it as tightly as you could. Don't ask why she married a man who had bill collectors chasing them all over New York."

"Was that a rhetorical 'don't ask,' or do you really not want to talk about it?"

"I'm happy to talk about it. I truly don't know why she picked somebody so ill suited to what she claimed she wanted. For that matter, why would my father pick a wife who disapproved of almost everything he did?"

"That's a tough one. I think a lot of people don't know why they pick the person they partner with. I'm very cavalier about where I travel, but I'll never be that way about picking a partner. I know exactly what I want, and if I can't have it, I'm perfectly happy being alone."

"You can't make a statement like that without providing some details."

"I can do that. If you're interested."

"I'm rapt. Give me what you've got."

"Okay. My parents are so alike that they've almost grown into one person." She gave Laurie a mischievous grin. "I don't want that. I want a partner who has her own life, her own likes and dislikes, her own opinions. I don't need someone to complete me. I want someone to complement me."

"That's a very good way to put it. I don't think I've looked at it in those terms, but that's kind of what I meant about my ex. She wanted to be in mylife rather than share her life with me. Does that make any sense?"

"It might. What did she do for a living?"

"Don't think I'm an a.s.s, but I'm not sure. She worked for a big company, but she didn't seem to know a lot about it. She didn't make much money, so I don't think her position was very responsible. But I had to guess about a lot of things. If she wasn't interested in something, she acted like it didn't exist. I can tell you a lot about some of her coworkers, but that probably wouldn't hold your interest."

"I guess it depends on who the coworkers were."

"They were mostly other people who were also treated badly. There was always some plot by management to make some or all of them miserable."

"So she didn't like talking about her own work. Did she want to hear about yours?"

"Oh, yeah. She was a little jealous of the fact that I worked from home, but she was genuinely interested in my life, and my friends, and my family, and my interests. If I had taken up bow hunting she would have been at the sporting goods store buying arrows and camouflage clothes."

"That sounds kind of nice. I think everyone wants to have a lover who's interested."

"Be careful what you wish for. It was almost like having an imaginary friend. She was always there, which was nice, but she didn't have any depth."

"You're gonna think I'm psychic, but I'm going to guess two of her qualities." She held up a hand and tapped her index finger. "One, I bet she was very good-looking. And two, I bet the age difference between you was more than five years."

Laurie sat up and fixed her narrowed gaze at Taj. "How did you know that?"

"It's common for younger women to glom on to a lover and act more like a shadow than an independent person. Plus," she added, grinning, "it's good for the ego to have a beautiful young woman look up to you like you're terribly intelligent and so fascinating that everything you do is worth mimicking."

Laurie slapped her hand over her eyes and peeked out through a tiny hole she made between her third and fourth fingers. "Am I that transparent?"

"You're not unique. It's easy to mistake sycophancy for respect. You were pretty well known when you got together, right?"

Laurie's other hand covered the first one, completely hiding her eyes. "She was a fan."

"Oh, no. That's the kiss of death."

She moved her hands so they bracketed her eyes. "Yeah, I see that now." She lay on her side, watching Taj raptly.

"You can't have a real relationship with someone who sees you more as an image than a person. It's not fair to her."

"That's the awful truth. The things that first attracted me to her were the things that I began to resent. I should have known better."

"But you didn't. If you made the same mistake again you'd be an a.s.s. But I bet you don't."

"I'm doing my best not to. I will never again pick up a woman from a book signing."

Taj gave her a smile so filled with innuendo that it was as though she had boldly propositioned Laurie. "You don't have to be doctrinaire about it."

Laurie felt herself moving slowly in Taj's direction. They were soon on their sides facing each other, their breath heating the small s.p.a.ce that separated them.

"There's nothing wrong with picking up women in bookstores. Just make sure they don't think you're G.o.d's gift to women. Choose someone who's been around the block...or even the world."

Laurie leaned forward just enough to be able to reach Taj's lips. They kissed briefly, then Laurie moved back to look into Taj's eyes where she saw clear sparks of interest. "That's d.a.m.ned good advice."

"I have another piece of advice." Taj's voice was low and sultry. "Life is short. Never stop at one kiss."

It took Taj just a moment to feel comfortable kissing Laurie. The fact that she felt so comfortable made her slightly uncomfortable. She tried to ignore the plump tenderness of Laurie's lips, the suppleness of her body, and the delicious sensation of once again holding a woman in her arms. Pulling away, she spent a few moments looking into Laurie's welcoming eyes, puzzled as to why she didn't feel her usual trepidation. Deciding that the adult thing to do was to give voice to her fears, she said, "It normally takes me a while to feel comfortable with someone." She used her fingers to flip a lock of hair from Laurie's forehead, then she kissed the now bare spot. "Why does this feel so natural?"

Laurie's tone was teasing, but in a gentle way. "Maybe you're a lesbian."

"Yeah," Taj smiled at her. "But I've been a lesbian for a long time, and I usually have to know a woman a lot more than I know you to feel comfortable kissing her."

"What would you rather do? Think about why I'm different, or keep kissing?"

"The way you phrased that begs the answer. Very clever." She kissed her again, briefly this time. "My poor body wants to dive into you like a cool pool on a hot day. It's been two full years since I've kissed a woman and I think I've forced myself to forget how fantastic it feels."

Laurie sat up and put her hand on Taj's cheek. "But you'd still rather talk about why this feels different, wouldn't you?"

Taj felt compelled to be completely forthright. "That's not normally how I am, but for some reason I'd rather talk."

"Then we'll talk." Laurie hiked her skirt up until it would have been indecent, but it was so dark out she was confident she wouldn't shock Taj. Then she quickly twisted her body into a lotus position, resting her hands palms up on her knees. She took in a deep cleansing breath and let it out slowly. "Start any place you'd like."

They didn't talk about anything too complex. In fact, it seemed to Laurie that Taj was treating this evening as she would any first date-a first date in which she was very, very interested, that is. There was no question in Laurie's mind that Taj was not only interested in her, she could tell just how much she wanted to stop talking and get back to kissing. But it was also clear that Taj was a disciplined person and that she had an agenda even if she wasn't able to express it.

Laurie had the sense that they'd been talking for a couple of hours, but she was surprised when she caught a look at her watch to see that it was two a.m.

Taj said, "I can't believe I'm still yacking away. I haven't been to bed in thirty or...thirty-five hours. My internal clock is totally screwed up."

"Do you think you can sleep?"

"If I can brush my teeth, I think I can sleep."

"Your teeth? You've been up for more than thirty hours, and you can't sleep unless you brush your teeth?"

With a guilty-looking grin, Taj opened her backpack and showed Laurie two boxes filled with a product called Quick Brush. "I don't know why, but I have a real thing about brushing my teeth. Every time I'm in the US, I buy a couple boxes of these, since I haven't found them in Asia or Africa. Whenever I'm going to be out in the field, I waste precious s.p.a.ce carrying these around. People think I'm crazy, but they make me happy." She tore open one of the tiny packages which was about the size of a Band-Aid. Inside was a piece of gauze impregnated with toothpaste. Taj took the piece of gauze and started brushing away, looking perfectly content.

"You don't need water?"

She shook her head, continuing to brush. Watching her with amus.e.m.e.nt, Laurie started to dig through her own carryall and produced something called EZ-Pic. She took one of the tiny toothpick-like devices out and handed it to Taj. "I hate to have things stuck in my teeth."

They spent the next few minutes giggling at each other as they thoroughly flossed and brushed with neither water nor sink at their disposal.

Taj carried an amazing number of small items to aid in her comfort. She pulled out a large watertight bag that she used to store her camera when it was raining. It self-inflated, and she carefully opened the valve to make it into a fairly comfortable pillow. She also had a plastic container filled with earplugs which she offered to Laurie.

"I don't think I could relax enough to sleep if I couldn't hear someone coming up beside me."

"That's a good thought. I'm not going to use them, so feel free."

There was a lot of noise, mostly from the cars that were still gridlocked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I only use them when there are bombs going off." She gave Laurie a half smile. "I wish I were kidding."

Laurie took her hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it gently. "I wish you were too."

"Do you think you can sleep?"

"Maybe. I think I'll put my gym clothes back on. I'm sure they smell horrible, but I'll be able to relax better if I'm not worried about showing every pa.s.serby my hoo-ha."

"You have a hoo-ha?" Taj grinned mischievously.

"So do you, but your shorts cover yours. I'm gonna go behind those shrubs and change."

"Don't be surprised if I sneak over there and spy on you."

Laurie leaned over and kissed her teasingly. "All you have to do is ask."

Once Laurie had changed into her damp, admittedly foul-smelling gym clothes, she lay back down on her yoga mat and tried to get comfortable.

Taj watched her struggle and pushed her backpack over towards her. "I've got a lot of stuff in here, but you could move things around until you could make a pretty nice pillow out of it."

"But your camera's in here."

"I know. But every lens is in a protective case and the camera body is wrapped in foam. I take care of my prized possession. Besides, if you're sleeping on it that's another level of protection."

"I don't know if I'll be much help if somebody tries to take it away from me."

"I'll protect it-I mean you," she teased. "I'm pretty good at self defense."

"You don't look like you would be. You seem very, very gentle."

Nodding solemnly, Taj said, "I am. I've never started a fight, but if someone brings one to me I won't run. I think most people are like dogs. Once they know you're afraid, they take advantage of you. The best thing to do is face them head on."

"Have you had to do that often?"

"No, not often at all. But I often have to bluff my way out of situations. That's another time that you can't show fear."

"I'm not sure I'd be very good at that."

"You won't know until you're put into the position. You might surprise yourself."

"Or get killed."

"That would be a surprise too." Taj leaned over and gave her fresh, clean-smelling mouth a kiss. "I think you'd be a good traveler. You have a quick mind and I can tell how thoroughly you study people. That's a critical requirement. So, I think you're set."

"I think I do better at reading travel books than traveling. But it feels good to have you say you think that I'd be good at it."