Outcast: A Novel Part 27

"What are you?"

I'm a guardian.

The creature sounded pleased, almost proud. And then it was sitting next to me. At least, it looked like it was sitting, and yet I knew somehow that it wasn't. That whatever this guardian thing was, it didn't do things like stand and sit and walk. It just appeared like it did.

How I knew any of that...I had no idea.

"You're what?"

I'm a guardian.

"What's a guardian?" I asked.

I am.

I couldn't help but smile. This guardian was so literal it was almost funny. Almost. "Explain to me the job of a guardian. Why are you called a guardian? Who are you...guarding?" I hoped that would be clear enough for it.

A guardian is sent by the Circle of Seven to watch over a spirit. We are called guardians because we stand sentinel by earth-bound spirits that are vulnerable in their human sh.e.l.ls. I am guarding you.

Though it was the first real answer it had given me, I didn't feel like I understood any shoved in his mouthHkidd better.

"What do you mean by 'earth-bound spirits'?" I asked quietly.

Beings not of the earth that are trapped on the earth.

"I...don't get it. Like what would you say is a being not of this earth but trapped here?"

There are many.

"Give me one example."

Fallen angels.

That didn't make any sense to me. "Why would you protect falleought they'd fallen bn angels? I th

You are of the Nephilim. And I am your Guardian.

It said it so simply, so matter-of-factly, that for a moment my response was similar. Oh, I'm Nephilim. Okay. That's interesting and a little unexpected.

But then my emotions took over. Then I realized what this guardian ghost angel thingy had just said to me, and I could feel my breath get shallow, my heart start to race.

"Are you saying I'm not human?" Panic now. These were too many feelings to feel in one evening.

You are of the Nephilim.

"Yeah, I get that, but what does that mean?"

It means you are a great spirit. A warrior.

Bulls.h.i.t. The word of the day.

"Okay, let's pretend for a second that's true," I said trying desperately to form coherent thoughts in the mess that was my brain at the moment. "How am I one of these Nephilim things? That doesn't make sense. I'm just a...just a girl."

Nephilim are born of human women. Your sire was a fallen angel.

I knew that. I'd read all about that. Still: "What?" Brain not computing.

You are the child of a human woman and fallen angel. That is why you are a spirit but bound to this earth.

"Are you saying my Daddy's an angel?"

A fallen angel.

Slow down there, Sparky. You're telling me... "My physics professor father, the guy who doesn't believe in going to church, whose religion is science, you're saying that he is a fallen angel."

No.

"No?"

No. The man who you live with is not your father.

Of all the things the guardian had told me, of all the impossibly fantastical, life- changing things, that was the arrow to the heart. That hit deeper than any of them.

"You're wrong." affected by our powerKo everything that That is not possible.

"You are wrong." Fear building up again, like water rushing to the top of a well...

Riley, there would be no reason for me to be with you if you were not what you are.

"Well, maybe you made a mistake." I didn't even believe it myself. But I'd rather try to believe anything other than Daddy not being my Daddy.

No.

"I...this is all too much...this is all too overwhelming..." It was the only thing I could think to say.

No, it is not.

I glanced at the creature sideways. "No? I don't think you can tell me that. I happen to know that, right now, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed."

If you were not ready for this moment, we would not be having this conversation. Remember. You are not tired.

I wasn't tired. I wasn't tired in the least.

You are ready.

"I don't feel ready."

The guardian didn't respond. It appeared to be thinking again. Maybe it was confused, unable to understand why, when I supposedly had willed this conversation, I didn't want to have it. Was it capable of feeling confused? Was it capable of feeling?

It was absurd, but I kind of wanted to put it at ease.

I couldn't believe I was asking this. Quietly, and with great reluctance I said, "Who is my father, then?"

That I cannot tell you.

Of course you can't. "Is it because you don't know, or because you've signed some kind of confidentiality agreement or something?"

Confidentiality agreement?

"It was a joke."

That time it was a joke? Jokes confuse me.

"To be fair, my jokes tend to confuse a lot of people. So why, then, why can't you tell me who my real father is?" The word "real" caught in my throat so the rest of the sentence came out like a squeas strak.

Sitting inside the tool shed was a definite flashback. I hadn't actually ventured inside since back when I'd been holding Gabe prisoner. Was it odd that I missed those few days in that first week? They'd been so...wacky. Now all the drama, all the everything, it felt stupidly normal. Even this, sitting opposite the guardian glowing in the corner seemed strangely everyday. shoved in his mouthed to kDivers...o...b..oks Now, I'd already learned some of the mythology around Nephilim, but all the pieces of information I'd read seemed to conflict with each other. I said as much to my guardian, but as it explained, it turned out that, in fact, the myths all kind of worked well with each other.

Nephilim, the guardian was saying, are great warriors. There was a time when the Circle of Seven would recruit them on behalf of different leaders in history. Often the Circle would change Nephilim so they appeared as beasts or giants. At times they gave them wings to fool others into thinking they were angels.

"Why would they do that?"

To win a war it is not just a matter of being strong physically. There is strategy and psychology.

My guardian was talking psychology now?

The Circle of Seven has always known that the human heart is fragile and vulnerable to more than just physical pain. Fear can achieve great ends without ever having to shed blood. Awe as well. Fighting an army of beasts or giants or angels can inspire change without the loss of life.

"Well, actually, that's kind of a good way of doing things I guess. But what makes Nephilim so special?" What makes me so special?

Half human, half angel, Nephilim can see beyond what humans can. They can see angels. Talk with them. They can see and communicate with Thralls. They see the line between the earth-bound and the other side. They are great warriors with natural instincts. Quick. They are very clever. The Nephilim choose who to help, who to speak with. Their ability to choose is a power almost greater than their personal abilities.

I thought about this and shook my head. "I don't know. I don't think I can be one of the Nephilim. I've never talked with angels or Thralls. And I am certainly no warrior."

I heard a ringing in my head. It was hard to place, but for all the world it seemed like the guardian was laughing at me.

You spoke with Gabe. You speak with me.

"What are you talking about?"

I am an angel. Gabe is a Thrall.

Oh yeah.

"Okay fine. I can do that. But I'm hardly a warrior. I mean...come on...look at me." Though even as I said it, I realized that wasn't quite true. I was a remarkable shot, like abnormally good at it. And then I thought back to the time I'd held Gabe prisoner in this shed. He'd been totally convinced I could hurt him. Then my mind raced back all those many months ago, with the splashing at the pool party, how he'd said I'd tried to choke him with water on purpose. So silly at the time...and how whenever Gabe playfully tackled me I couldn't help but think of ways to get the best of him that were pretty violent. But still...

And yet...

"Okay so I'm a good shot..."

You are a good shot. You forget, Riley, you shot a Thrall.

"Who?" I had? Oh. "Gabe?"

Yes.

"Well, that wasn't anything. And anyway I missed the first time."

It is almost impossible to hit a Thrall. They move fast. They are gone before a thought.

"Oh, come on. He was just standing there in front of me. Talking to me. It was pretty easy."

For six years they have been taking. None of your people has. .h.i.t one.

I thought about it. The guardian had a point. Even though we'd been worshipping the angels, there were still those few people like Wild Frank who'd tried to take them down.

"Look, okay, I know I'm a good shot, I know that. And maybe that means something, I dunno. But with Gabe it was still very different. He was just standing there."

He wasn't. I saw the moment. I saw you raise the gun, and I saw him fly faster than the eye could see. He moved and your aim was true.

"Really?"

Really.

"But I had no idea..."

Your aim has been true with your friends and your practice.

Suddenly, despite all our efforts, the shooting the Thralls down plan seemed beyond absurd. Especially with all the things the guardian was telling me now. "You must have been laughing at us the whole time then, if Thralls are so impossible to shoot."

No.

"But you think the plan is stupid."