Out Of Love Part 33

Judith had no doubt about the veracity of Carmen's simple declaration. Even before they moved into this realm, her body had known Carmen would be a perfect lover. "You don't have to make it about me all the time."

"What if I want to?"

226.

"And what if I want to make it about you?" She wrapped her arms around Carmen's neck and pulled her down.

"I've always thrived on compet.i.tion." Carmen latched her lips onto Judith's earlobe for a gentle nibble. "I love it that you like to share these wonderful things with me."

"I draw the line at animal costumes."

"d.a.m.n. And I have this great duck outfit."

Judith chuckled and tightened her grip. "You're so good for me."

"Because of the animals?"

"Because I know you love me. I can feel it."

"That's probably just my hipbone."

"You aren't capable of being serious, are you?"

"I'm serious about you."

Their playful mood shifted dramatically as a tremor seemed to pa.s.s between them. Carmen followed her words with a deep, soulful kiss.

"Tell me what that means."

"You don't know?"

"I want to hear it from you."

Carmen didn't answer right away, but Judith knew from the rare pensive look this wouldn't be a lighthearted response. "It means I think about having you in my life all the time. I want you to be a part of it all-my family, my friends, my work. And I know how hard it is for you to imagine a life like that, but it doesn't stop me from wanting it."

For Judith, it wasn't hard at all to dream about a life with Carmen. The hard part was her obligation to Victor.

Carmen went on. "I want to show you off to all the important people in my life, even though every one of them is going to think I'm insane."

"Because I look like Brooke?"

"And because they're all going to think the same thing you did-that you're a subst.i.tute for something I couldn't have."

227.

"I don't think that anymore."

"I know you don't. We couldn't do this if you did."

"Why does that worry you?"

"I just want people to know this is about you and me."

"That may not be something they'll accept right away. But if we love each other, it's going to show eventually."

"I know." Carmen laid her head on Judith's shoulder. "I'm worried about what Brooke will think."

"Have you thought about when you're going to tell her?"

"I'm having dinner with her Monday night. I plan to do it then. Don't you wish you could be a fly on the wall?"

"No, I don't want to be anywhere near. You two have to work that out on your own."

"I don't suppose there's any chance you . . ."

"What?"

"My brother Paul is a plastic surgeon. He could give you a big nose and a pointy chin and a-"

"You are insane." She should have known Carmen couldn't stay serious. At least she hoped she wasn't serious.

It was easy to see why Carmen liked it here, Judith thought.

The neighborhood was old and distinguished, and who could beat having a park and Lake Michigan practically in your front yard? Not to mention the Starbucks around the corner. Though it was only her second visit, she was starting to feel at home, enough to make the coffee run by herself while Carmen talked to her mother.

She balanced one cup on top of the other and reached for the door. It swung open as the doorman got there just in time.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. He continued to hold the door for another woman she had noticed getting out of her car at the curb.

228.

She stepped onto the elevator and shuffled the cups again, balancing the drinks so she could punch the b.u.t.ton for Carmen's floor. The other woman jumped on and pressed a number, and sensing Judith's predicament, asked, "What floor?"

Before she answered, she looked up. The woman before her was Brooke Nance, and she looked every bit as shocked as Judith was. "Uh . . . seven."

They couldn't stop staring at each other, but neither spoke.

The pictures Carmen had shared didn't do justice to the brilliant blue in Brooke's eyes. Those had to be contact lenses. No one had eyes that color. And Brooke's blond hair was longer now, long enough to pull back from her face. She was even prettier in person, and that was saying something.

The door opened on seven and Judith immediately stepped off without a word, turning left down the hallway in the direction of the stairs. This was going to freak Carmen out, and she didn't want to make it worse. If Brooke said anything-and of course she would-Carmen would figure out she had run.

She exited the stairwell at the outside of the building and followed the sidewalk back around to the front, where she crossed the street to the park. From a bench, she could watch the main door of the building, and wait to return when the coast was clear.

" . . . No, Mom. I do want everyone to meet her, but she has to leave early in the morning." Carmen had finally broken the news to her family that she had a new girlfriend, and that her girlfriend bore more than a pa.s.sing resemblance to her best friend. Now their curiosity was piqued and they couldn't wait to meet Judith.

"Sundays are hard for her because she needs to get back to New York . . . I told you, her brother lives in a group home and she picks him up every Sunday to go to dinner at her mom's."

A shuffling sound at the door told her Judith was back with their coffee.

229.

"I need to go, Mom . . . Fine. Seven o'clock. We'll see you then."

She disconnected and let out a sigh. Now to break it to Judith that she had just committed them to dinner tonight in Evanston.

She grabbed for the handle to open the door. "You'll never guess what I've just gotten us-" Her stomach dropped as she realized the face at the door belonged not to Judith, but to Brooke. "What-" She caught herself before blurting out something that would have certainly sounded rude. "I didn't know you were coming by."

"I had to drop off something at work. You're never going to believe what I just saw on the elevator!"

Carmen had a sinking feeling she was going to believe it very much.

"There was a woman who looked so much like me we couldn't stop staring at each other. She was a little taller, and her coloring was darker, but we had practically the same face. We could have been sisters."

"Where . . . did she go?"

"She got off on seven. She must not live here or I know you would have noticed her before. It was amazing."

So Judith got off on a different floor. When she recognized Brooke and realized where she was headed, she ducked out to let Carmen deal with it. Smart girl . . . or a chickens.h.i.t.

"I think I know who you're talking about."

"No, you haven't seen the woman I'm talking about, or you would have said something before." Brooke walked in and dropped her purse on a side table in the foyer. From there, she continued into the living room to sit on the couch.

At a loss for how to dissuade her from sticking around, Carmen followed her. Like it or not, the time had come to tell her about Judith. She walked over to the gla.s.s doors of the balcony and peered out. Judith was sitting on a park bench across the street, a cup of coffee in each hand.

230.

Where to start? She pushed her hands in the pockets of her jeans and turned around to face Brooke. "I have to tell you something."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no. I was planning to tell you tomorrow night at dinner, but since you're here . . ."

"What is it?"

"You remember back in college when I told everybody I was a lesbian? I started by saying how it took me a long time to be sure about it, and I hoped they wouldn't think I'd been dishonest with them all along."

Brooke looked at her dubiously, clearly curious about where this was going. "I never thought you were dishonest."

"I know you didn't. And I would have told you about this sooner, but I wasn't sure where it was going."

"Quit beating around the bush, Carmen. If you're going to tell me something, just do it."

Beating around the bush was exactly what she was doing, trying to couch her words in something Brooke might find sympathetic and acceptable. "I was going to tell you all about Judith, the woman I met in New York." Still beating around the bush.

"That was her in the elevator."

Brooke squinted with confusion and shook her head. "No, that woman got off on seven."

"It was her. I guess she did that because she recognized you."

Her eyes grew wide as realization dawned. "Your new girlfriend looks just like me?"

Carmen nodded and came over to sit on the couch. "This is going to sound crazy, and for all I know, it is. I met her at that conference we all went to, the one where I asked you to come hang out with us."

"Wait a minute." Brooke sat up and held up her hand, clearly agitated. "You're not making any sense at all."

"Brooke . . ." Carmen took a deep breath and steadied herself.

231.

"She's a travel agent from New York. She was at the conference.

Cathy noticed her because . . . well, I guess it's obvious why. She pointed her out to me and I had a chance to talk to her. I really liked her and we hit it off."

Carmen held her tongue while Brooke put it all together. She expected confusion, awkwardness, maybe even teasing. What she hadn't counted on was hurt.

"Now I get it. I wondered why everybody laughed when I said I wish I'd been there with you guys, and Priscilla said it was like I was."

Carmen was heartbroken to see the tears that had begun to pool in Brooke's eyes. "If anything, they were laughing at me, not you . . . because they knew I hadn't told you yet."

"In other words, it was a private joke. I'm used to that from all the others, but not from you."

"Brooke, I-"

"They think I don't know how they talk about me, how they look down on me because I don't have a big, fancy career . . . or because I didn't marry the perfect man."

"That isn't true. They love you, just like I do."

"I've always counted on you to stand up for me. You have no idea how much it hurts to know you kept this from me and everybody made it their little joke."

She suddenly stood up and started for the door, but Carmen caught her arm. "Brooke, please. You're so wrong." She wanted to wipe the tears away but she didn't dare. "Please sit back down.

I'll tell you everything."

"You mean there's more?" Her question dripped with sar-casm, but she wiped her own tears and sank back onto the couch.

"The truth is, I noticed Judith because I thought she was beautiful . . . like I've always thought you were beautiful." She was relieved to see Brooke's face soften with her admission. "Of all my friends, you've always been the special one. There have been times when . . ." Her heart was pounding in her throat.

232.

"There's no easy way to say this."

"You were in love with me."

So much for her secret. Brooke had known about it all along.