Out Of Love Part 14

As they started down the sidewalk toward the parking garage, 96 Brooke hooked her arm in Carmen's. "The girls are busy this weekend. Are you doing anything?"

Carmen folded her other arm across her chest so she could cover Brooke's cold fingers with her gloved hand. It immediately brought to mind her walk with Judith along Central Park on Sunday night. "Nothing that requires getting out of bed and getting dressed. I'm so tired all I can think about is sleeping for two days."

"You poor thing. What if I bring over some groceries and make you dinner on Sunday? We can sit in bed and watch movies all day."

Carmen usually loved days like that but she didn't feel deserv-ing of human company. "I appreciate the offer, but I think that might require more brain cells than I plan to use."

"Are you sure? I could throw in a backrub."

Carmen sometimes wondered if Brooke knew exactly the effect she was having, and did it just to be a tease.

97.

Chapter 9.

Judith cradled the phone underneath her chin as she filled in the fields on the Key West booking form. "No, you'll like Irene's. The whole house is women only."

From the corner of her eye, she saw Todd emerge from his office, a stack of forms in his hand. "All right, people. Huddle up," he yelled.

She had come to detest that phrase, which Todd used every time he called an impromptu meeting. His appropriation of sports idiom was probably meant to make them feel like a team, but he undercut the concept by pitting them against each other for bonuses and plum clients. She ignored him, turning her attention back to the woman on her phone. "Your friend's right.

Key West is mostly male, but it's very lesbian friendly. And Irene knows all the best places. She'll give you a calendar of events when you check in."

98.

The woman on the phone, Antoinette, was one of her best clients, having booked a trip with her every year since her first all-lesbian cruise seven years ago. If Rainbow Getaways had more repeat customers like her, they wouldn't have to spend so much on national marketing.

"I'll find out. I think she has eleven rooms. Do you know that many couples who might want to go?" Another reason to like Antoinette was she had lots of friends. "I'll call her and see. But we'll need to book all of it this week to guarantee Memorial Weekend."

His impatience mounting, Todd began slapping the rolled-up forms in his hand.

"I'll call her this afternoon and get back to you . . . e-mail okay?" She scribbled herself a note and began to group the papers in her folder. "Bye now."

When all eight agents had gathered around the entrance to Todd's office, he began to hand out the forms.

"What you're looking at is the new commission structure.

You'll notice that we've decreased the rate for bookings that come in over the Web site, the eight-hundred number or in response to special promotions. That's because we consider those the result of agency expenditures, not agent sales."

Another annoying habit Todd had was to use "we" instead of "I" so he wouldn't have to feel solely responsible for being an a.s.shole. Judith glanced over at Celia, who was rolling her eyes. It was hard not to envy her status as a short-timer. After giving her two-week notice last Friday, she was ready to get out of here and start making more money.

"The good news is that if a client books again-and asks to deal directly with you-we'll b.u.mp that rate back up on the second transaction. Any questions?"

"I have one." Judith reread the provisions to see how her existing clients would be handled. "I already have a client base.

Does this mean I continue to get the higher rate for their book-99 ings when they ask for me?"

"This policy goes into effect today. As of right now, no one has a client base, but if a customer asks for you, you'll earn the higher rate on the second transaction."

"That isn't fair, Todd. I've had some of these clients for seventeen years. A lot of them are personal friends."

"n.o.body said life had to be fair. We're trying to give everybody here an even playing field. If these folks are your friends, they'll ask for you and you'll be back up to the higher rate before you know it."

"Todd, I have over six hundred clients. If you cut my rate on their next trip, that's going to be thousands of dollars out of my pocket, and I'll never make it up."

"But you'll be eligible to pick up new clients from the same pool as everyone else. That should offset some of the drain."

Technically, the a.s.shole was right, but practically, it meant working more for less. As she walked back to her cubicle, she envisioned Celia's hands around Todd's scrawny neck. It had a certain primal appeal.

A faint chime from her lower desk drawer signaled a missed call on her cell phone, probably her mother anxious to confirm her visit on Sunday with Victor. It was hard sometimes to tell who was more upset by a change in routine, her mother or her brother.

Her stomach did a flip when she saw the area code, definitely not her mother's. As she dug in her purse for the business card that would confirm the caller's ident.i.ty, the phone beeped to announce a message.

Carmen dropped the phone back into its cradle as if it were on fire. She should have hung up without leaving a message. No, she had to say something, because Judith's cell phone would have a record of her call and she would have looked like a stalker if she 100 had just hung up. d.a.m.ned technology!

She had even planned for the possibility of reaching voice mail and practiced what to say. But once she heard Judith's voice, all she could manage was gibberish about paying Zeigler-Marsh a visit at the end of the week. It was all true, but way too formal for a woman whose b.r.e.a.s.t.s she had fondled in an elevator a week ago.

For the life of her, Carmen didn't know why she couldn't just chalk up her encounter with Judith O'Shea to an embarra.s.sing blunder and let it go. She didn't like the idea that Judith probably thought she was an a.s.shole, even though she had behaved like one.

But that didn't explain why she felt so desperate to right things.

Cathy entered the open door with Carmen's travel portfolio.

"I wasn't able to get you back in the Grand, but I booked you into the Marriott Marquis for Thursday night."

"Fine." Carmen shuffled the papers on her desk, pretending to be absorbed in her work. She hadn't accomplished much in the last week.

"Do you want me to set up dinner with Sofia on Thursday?"

"No . . . breakfast on Friday, maybe."

"Okay, I'll ask her. And what about the return? Seven or nine on Friday night?"

What she really wanted was to stay over on Friday night in New York in hopes of seeing Judith again. "I'm not sure. Why don't you leave it and I'll call them back when I decide? And, uh . . . leave me the info on the hotel too . . . in case I want to change something."

Cathy looked at her skeptically. "Since when do you make your own travel arrangements?"

"Since maybe I might not want everybody in my business,"

she snapped. As soon as the words left her lips, Carmen wanted them back. Cathy's look was a perfect cross between anger and hurt as she turned to leave. "Wait. I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Carmen sighed and tossed her pen across the room in frus-101 tration. "I finally called her." By the look on Cathy's face, her cryptic explanation wasn't enough to justify her rude behavior. "I wasn't going to say anything to anybody because I've already made a big enough fool of myself."

"You called Judith?"

She nodded sheepishly.

Cathy shut the door and returned deliberately to the couch, where she made herself comfortable. This was going to turn into a heart-to-heart and there was nothing Carmen could do to escape it.

"You know, your capacity to commit foolishness is unlimited as far as I'm concerned."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you get to make mistakes over and over and I'll forgive you because you're my oldest friend and you'd do the same for me."

"Maybe it's time I got my due."

"What did she say?"

Carmen shook her head. "She wasn't there. I left a message that I was going to be in town and asked her to call me. Who knows if she will?"

Cathy kicked off her shoes and put her feet up on the coffee table. "Have you been thinking about that question I asked you last week?"

"Which one was that?"

"I don't remember exactly how I put it, but I wondered what bothered you most-the fact that she was upset or that you were responsible?"

"I don't see what difference it makes. I'm responsible for hurting her feelings."

"But do you want to fix things so she'll feel better, or so you'll feel better?"

"If she feels better, I'll feel better."

"Let me put it a different way. What if what makes her feel 102 better is for you to get lost? Will you be okay with that?"

"No."

"Then what is it you want from her?"

Carmen heaved a deep sigh and gazed out the window, unable to look her friend in the eye. "I want her to go out with me. I want to show her that I'm not the biggest a.s.shole that ever lived.

I want another chance to earn her respect." She could feel Cathy's eyes burning into her.

"Listen to yourself, Carmen. Everything's about you and what Judith thinks of you."

Cathy was right, but only because Carmen wasn't coming clean about what she really wanted. The truth was she was drawn to Judith. She wanted to spend time with her and get to know her better. She just didn't want anyone to think it was because she couldn't have Brooke. "Would you believe me if I told you I cared about her? I don't really know why, but I do."

"I've never seen you kick yourself this long about anyone."

Carmen got up and walked around her desk to join Cathy on the couch. "I can't stop thinking about her. And it isn't just because I feel bad about the Brooke thing. I really thought she was nice-one of the nicest people I've met in a long time. And I f.u.c.ked it up."

"What did you f.u.c.k up?"

"That's just it. We'll probably never know."

They sat in silence for almost a minute. Cathy finally pushed her feet back into her shoes and stood. "I forgive you for being a b.i.t.c.h about the travel reservations. But I don't trust you to make your own arrangements so I'll hang on to them."

Carmen chuckled and shook her head.

"You have until Thursday at two to let me know what you want to do. Once you're out the door, you're on your own."

"Fair enough." Carmen followed her to the door. "Thanks . . .

for everything . . . as usual."

Cathy squeezed her shoulder. "You're welcome . . . as usual."

103.

When they opened the office door, the receptionist waved in their direction.

"Can you hold, please?" Looking up at Carmen, she announced the call. "I have Judith O'Shea on the line for you.

She says she's returning your call."

Carmen felt a surge of panic, but Cathy gave her a rea.s.suring look as she pushed her back into the office and closed the door behind her.

Judith pulled up the collar on her wool blazer to stave off the cool breeze creeping down her neck. The late winter sun made it too warm for her parka, but a scarf would have been nice had she known she would be sitting on a bench in Washington Square Park in the middle of the afternoon.

One of the great things about New York was that one was never alone, and yet, there was privacy in crowded anonymity.

Judith needed that privacy today, and that's why she had walked out of the agency with her phone in her hand, stopping only to tell Todd she had to tend to a personal matter. If he had an objec-tion, she hadn't stayed to hear it.

On the way to the park, she had listened to Carmen's message four times, looking for a clue about why she was calling. Her first thought was it had something to do with her not following up with Sofia at Zeigler-Marsh. That's why she said she was coming to town, so maybe Sofia had asked about her.

Even after more than a week, Judith was unable to forget the events of her encounter with Carmen. No matter why Carmen was calling, Judith planned to seize this chance to tell her the one thing that had been eating at her, something so important it was keeping her awake at night.