Our American Cousin Part 22

Asa Oh, he's a very good man.

Sir E Yes, he is a good man.

Asa But he can't keep a hotel.

Sir E Mr. Murcott, your offence was heavy.

Flo And so has been his reparation. Forgive him, papa. Mr. Murcott, you saved me; may Heaven bless you.

Mur Yes, I saved her, thank Heaven. I had strength enough for that.

[Exits L. 1. E.]

Flo You'll keep your promise and make Mr. Murcott your clerk, papa?

Sir E Yes, I can refuse nothing; I am so happy; I am so happy, I can refuse none anything to-day.

Asa Can't you, Sir Edward! Now, that's awful lucky, for there's two gals want your consent mighty bad.

Sir E Indeed; for what?

Asa To get hitched.

Sir E Hitched?

Asa Yes to get spliced.

Sir E Spliced?

Asa Yes, to get married.

Sir E They have it by antic.i.p.ation. Who are they?

Asa There's one on 'em. [Points to Florence.]

Sir E Florence! and the other?

Asa She's right outside. [Exit, hastily, R. 1. E.]

Sir E Well, and who is the happy man, Lord Dun--

Flo Lord Dundreary! No, papa--but Harry Vernon. He's not poor now, though he's got a ship.

Re-enter Asa, with Mary.

Asa Here's the other one, Sir Edward.

Sir E Mary? Who is the object of your choice?

Mary Rough-spun, honest-hearted Asa Trenchard.

Sir E Ah! Mr. Trenchard you win a heart of gold.

Flo And so does Mary, papa, believe me. [Crosses to Asa. Mary and Sir Edward go up.]

Flo What's the matter?

Asa You make me blush.

Flo I don't see you blushing.

Asa I'm blushing all the way down my back.

Flo Oh, you go long. [Goes up stage.]

Asa h.e.l.lo! here's all the folks coming two by two, as if they were pairing for Noah's ark. Here's Mrs. Mountchestnut and the Sailor man.

[Enter as Asa calls them off.] Here's De Boots and his gal, and darn me, if here ain't old setidy fetch it, and the sick gal, how are you b.u.t.tons? [Dundreary knocks against Asa, who is in C. of stage.]

Dun There's that d.a.m.ned rhinocerous again. [Crosses to L. with Georgina, and seats her.]

Asa Here comes turkey c.o.c.k, number two, and his gal, and darn me, if here ain't Puffy and his gal.

Sir E Mr. Vernon, take her, she's yours, though Heaven knows what I shall do without her.

Mrs M [Rising.] Ah, Sir Edward, that is just my case; but you'll never know what it is to be a mother. [Comes down, L. C.] Georgina, Augusta, my dears, come here. [They come down each side of her.] You'll sometimes think of your poor mamma, bless you. [Aside to them.] Oh, you couple of fools.

[b.u.mps their foreheads. Dundreary has business with Georgina, then leads her to a seat, L.]

De B [To Dundreary.] Why, Fred, we're all getting married!

Dun Yes, it's catching, like the cholera.

Binny I 'ope, Sir Edward, there's no objections to my leading Miss Sharpe to the hymenial halter.

Sir E Certainly not, Mr. Binny.

Bud [To Dun.] And Skillet and I have made so bold, My lord--

Dun Yes, you generally do make bold--but bless you, my children--bless you.

Asa Say, you, lord, b.u.t.tons, I say, whiskers.

Dun Ill.u.s.trious exile? [Comes down.]

Asa They're a nice color, ain't they?