Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru Vol 7 Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Forceful Wife Leads to Mayhem

This is the second time I am called to the roof by a girl, the first one being Hime.

No, if we count Chiwa’s “confession practice” during club activities, this is the third time. By looking only at the numbers, it’s going from being popular, to being even more popular; however, there hasn’t even been one serious confession. This time, it will probably be the same.

“Thanks for coming! Takkun.”

Under the bright autumn sky, Fuyuumi Ai energetically turned to face me.

“Why are you asking me out on such a cold day?”

The wind on the roof at four o’ clock is surprisingly cold. From the start, my hands were freezing, and I was rubbing my hands like an old man.

“But I don’t feel cold at all.”

Fuyuumi’s face looked slightly reddish as she muttered.

“Then, Ai-chan will share her warmth with you～♪”

She grabbed my arm and rubbed it.

“Do-don’t stick to me—! Get away!”

Although I instantly shrugged her away, but she felt really warm and comfortable. Close quarter combat is really dangerous, I will lose to A-chan’s softness.

“You know my reason for calling you out, right?”

“……you can say that.”

Most probably, it is about me and Masuzu breaking up.

“I won’t ask you why, although I have a lot to tell Natsukawa-san, but what’s past is past. But, I can treat that the contract is broken, right?”

“Contract?”

At this moment, Fuyuumi took a step forward.

Her face was so close our fringes almost touched, and she looked so serious, my heart skipped a beat.

“Please go out with me, Kidou Eita-kun.”

“…..”

So, this is the reason?

“A-chan, I said it before. I didn’t stamp on the marriage registration certificate.”

“I know, you didn’t stamp it, you used your fingerprint♪”

“I said that’s not the case!”

This is too annoying, a marriage registration with a blood fingerprint, what’s this, a contract with Satan?

“As I said before, about the marriage, I won’t reveal it to the public before our graduation.”

“If it’s possible, I wish to never make it public.”

“But, a normal lover relationship is not a problem right? Because Takkun is already single.”

“……ugh.”

d.a.m.n, I have nothing to say against that.

Although it looked like one-sided blackmail from Masuzu to make me her fake boyfriend, I also received protection from it. At least I used to have a reason like “I have a girlfriend” to reject others’ confessions.

But now, that shield has disappeared, and I can only fight them off with my bare fists.

“I don’t want to go out with anyone.”

“About that, although it isn’t nice to listen to comments like ‘right after a breakup he is already going out with another!?’, I think if we explain it properly, they will understand.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“The uppercla.s.smen in the disciplinary committee are all rooting for us, there won’t be any negative rumours, and I will get Kaoru to help us too. This is better, I wanted everyone to attend the wedding in the first place♪”

Fuyuumi said while twisting around.

“If I can go out with Takkun, I think every day will be really happy. I will make lunch for you every day, and I already found a few places where we can have lunch together alone. Let’s study together after school? Actually, I have a café which I would like to go with Takkun, and……”

She was really happy while envisioning a rose-coloured future. So dazzlingly bright that you can almost see the rose in her eyes.

But I must remove that rose.

Although it hurts me to do so, this is what I must do!

“I am actually ‘anti-love’.”

I said it……

I finally said it.

I have never actually told anybody about it, not even Chiwa or Kaoru, this is only between me and Masuzu, I finally said it.

Fuyuumi tilted her head in confusion.

“Clueless about love?[1]

“It’s anti!”

But I won’t deny the fact that I am also clueless about love.

“My parents divorced when I was in third grade, because they both had extra marital affairs, so they left me and disappeared. This is why Saeko-san took over their role as a guardian.”

Fuyuumi listened to me attentively.

She didn’t look surprise, most probably because she already guessed it.

“What does this have to do with Takkun’s ‘anti’?”

“Before second grade, my parents were lovey dovey, even sweeter than what you said before. But in just one year, it turned into such mayhem. In the end they created a lot of trouble for the relatives, they left their work and family, and eloped with their new partners. I look down on these type of ‘love comes first mentality’ from the bottom of my heart. If they experience it themselves, anyone would have the thought of ‘why does love even matter?’”

“So, you became ‘anti-love’?”

“Yeah.”

“If so, why did you go out with Natsukawa-san?”

“……I can only say a lot of things went wrong, so our relationship didn’t last.”

“Hmm,” Fuyuumi muttered, but she didn’t probe any deeper.

“I don’t want to go out with anyone. I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your confession.”

I exhaled loudly.

I finished my speech with that.

It feels great to let out all the words piled in my heart.

“I see……”

Fuyuumi sounded troubled.

“So something like that happened, must’ve been quite hard on Takkun.”

“Don’t talk about it anymore, it isn’t to the point where you need to sympathize with me.”

Having divorced parents are common, so I don’t think I am unlucky. In fact, I got Saeko-san to look after me, so this might even be my luck.

“You are right, I’m sorry I drew a conclusion.”

“I should be the one saying sorry for making you listen to such a boring story.”

Mmm.

With this I settled a problem.

Fuyuumi also seemed to understand, she was smiling, relieved.

“Therefore, I will stay by your side from now on. Let us try our best to take care of each other.”

“Yeah, don’t leave again.”

“The first place we should go—how about Gorgeous Tsuba Park? I heard that couples who go there on their first date will have a long lasting relationship.

“Oh, is there such a superst.i.tion?”

“Although it is slightly 'that' if we think about those too much, but I think having the same beliefs is important for both of us. By slowly gathering small superst.i.tions, it will become a bond one day—that’s what I believe.”

I can’t help but chuckle.

“A-chan is really romantic huh.”

“Hmph—! Why is Takkun laughing! Idiot!”

She knocked my shoulder with her fist.

“Ahaha, that hurt, idiot.”

I punched back in return.

“Those who call others idiot are idiots themselves, idiot!”

Poka poka.[2]

“A-chan was the one who said it first.”

Poka poka, poka.

Fufufu, it seems to be warming up?

“Ahhhhh~where are you hitting? Pervert Takkun!”

“What, that isn’t considered as your shoulder? How is this perverted, if we put it this way A-chan is way more perverted. Take this—“

“Aahhh ♪ A-chan feels like she’s getting warmer—“

“Hihihi, then A-chan, let me make you warmer—wait,

WHYYY-------------------------------------------------------MM!?”

I accidentally made the “mm” sound by exerting too much strength.

“Why did it turn out this way!? I said I am not going out with you, didn’t I!”

“Takkun, calm down, you've been totally messed up since quite a while ago.”

“You are the only person whom I don’t want to hear that from the most!”

I think I am close to tears.

Although the words are comprehensible, the reasoning is not, how horrifying……

“I understand that Takkun is anti-love, but after I've heard all that I can’t leave you alone. I wasn’t going to leave you anyway, okay, right?”

“……huh?”

“Anyway, that’s all!”

Fuyuumi pointed her right index finger at me sternly.

The disciplinary committee mode pose that I haven’t seen in a long time.

“I will use my “love” to cure your anti-love, and let everyone witness it!”

When I returned to my senses, I was already stunned by A-chan’s face.

“…..ahhh……”

Yeah.

This is how A-chan is like.

Someone who takes her feelings very seriously, a nosy person.

“I think if you come in contact with true love, Takkun’s ‘hating something before trying[3]’ mentality can be cured. It’s like watering flowers, if you put your feelings into it, a wilting relationship will also bloom!”

A-chan looked more motivated than ever before.

Why……

I already rejected her, why is this making things worse?

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand anything.

Love is too hard!

♦

The next morning.

I woke up to the smell of miso soup.

What a nice smell.

The miso soup I make is made using Kombu[4] stock, but this soup is made using anchovy stock. It smells great, I would have it together with grilled salmon and fermented soy beans.

Although I want to get out of bed and straight to the living room…….today is just too cold, I don’t want to leave my bed.

“Takkun, it’s morning. Wake up.”

A melodious voice rang through my ears and heart.

“Just let me sleep for five more minutes.”

“No—pe, you can't enjoy your breakfast slowly this way, can you?”

Someone is shaking my body.

“…….what dishes are there?”

“Miso soup with tofu, omelette, and boiled spinach[5]. and grilled salmon～♪”

“If you add natto to it, I will wake up.”

“I guess it can’t be helped. I understand, let Ai-chan stir it up for you.”

“Stir it up huh—“

How exciting.

After stirring it for fifty times, the world will change, acquiring a really strong flavour. Adding A-chan’s love into it would have the combined strength of a hundred people.

Wait—

“Why are you here!?”

First thing in the morning is nori tsukkomi in my room.[6]

“Don’t surprise me by suddenly shouting.”

Fuyuumi Ai was wearing her uniform with an ap.r.o.n on top, and stared at me with widened eyes. I am the one who should be staring!

“How did you get in? Where’s the key? I should’ve locked the doors right!?”

Has the lovestruck brain deteriorated into a criminal!?

“I rang the doorbell like a normal person, aunt[7] opened for me.”

Ah.

“Saeko-san is back?”

I thought she would be staying overnight at her office as usual, to be awake at this time, she must’ve stayed up through the night.

“Now now, since you understand, hurry up and wake up, or else you’ll be late.”

Whoosh! The curtains were pulled open, and the sky was so bright I loathed it.

Is this a step in curing my anti-love?

♦

When I got to the living room, I saw Saeko-san smiling, seated by the dining table.

“Morning—Eita, how do you feel, having a girl waking you up?”

“My comfort rating has dropped by a lot!”

Although I wanted to try and shout for a bit, on the table was a delicious looking full course breakfast. My stomach growled, and that calmed me down.

“Ahhh～this grilled salmon is perfectly～cooked! Convenience stores can’t make something of this level.”

“Thanks for the compliment, aunt.”

Fuyuumi stood in the kitchen, smiling.

“Come on Takkun, take a seat. I will heat up the miso soup.”

“O,oh……”

I feel like everything is messed up.

The kitchen that is usually mine has changed hands, Fuyuumi was standing there, making it feel like this is someone else’s house.

Fuyuumi was singing “cooking is love～♪” while dancing back and forth between the stove and the chopping board. Grinding the carrot to mush, stirring the miso soup, and cleaning up. She did it beautifully, it seems that she is experienced.

“Takkn, how much rice would you like?”

“No—normal would do.”

“Okay, right up♪”, said Fuyuumi while spinning the shamoji[8], even the “Gashakon” of opening and closing the rice cooker was rhythmical.

“How great.”

Saeko-san stirred her natto while complimenting her.

“A tsundere being bad at cooking is a basic setting, but you’re surprisingly good at this.”

“Ufufu aunt, I’m not a tsundere. If you really want to a.s.sign me a trope—yup, it should be deredere; because I am full of love for Takkun!”

“Oohhh, you have a point there!”

Hahahahahaha! Saeko-san and Fuyuumi’s laughs echoed around the living room.

What is this s.p.a.ce[9]……

I feel like vomiting sugar, my stomach is upset before even touching the food.

“Saeko-san, what is going on?”

“Nothing much, I heard you broke up with Natsukawa-san?”

She stared at me with sharp eyes.

“Honestly, why didn’t you talk to me about this—your sister is sad. I thought you would talk about it with me first.”

“No matter how you think about it, there’s no such option…….”

Why would someone talk about their love life with their guardian, how embarra.s.sing.

“I told you before, I am against you going out with that girl. Although I am fine with you going out with Chihuahua-chan, but tsundere girl isn’t bad either. Look at how well that “uniform ap.r.o.n” goes together, I can’t hold myself back! Cosplay can’t even reach this level!

“Haa—”

Speaking of that, I remember Masuzu did come uninvited in her uniform and ap.r.o.n.

The ap.r.o.n was brand new, without dirt or creases, a new product that doesn’t feel homely.

But that was quite good too—although it’s different when Fuyuumi wears it. After repeated washing, the colour and pattern has faded. The ap.r.o.n is full of life from Fuyuumi’s family, coupled with the dark blue uniform, it creates a strong, attractive contrast.

“I am the one who does the housework in my family.”

Fuyuumi said while giving me a cup of tea.

She did talk about her mother’s pa.s.sing before, and her knife work during summer camp was beautiful too; her experience with housework should be longer than mine.

“Is it fine, leaving your own housework like this?”

“Of course I made my father and brother’s breakfast before leaving.”

What time did you wake up.

I took a mouthful of rice, and—

“De—delicious!”

Both moistness and timing is perfect. It should be cooked with the same rice cooker, why is her rice so much better?

“For you, Takkun! I stirred it for you.”

She pa.s.sed me the natto covered in cream-like strings.

I added the natto on the steaming rice, and stuffed them into my mouth. The special pungent smell was purified by the white rice, the strings filled my mouth, filling it with an indescribable taste. Rice, bean, rice bean, every time I bit on the bits, there was a different feel, a “how lucky am I to be born in j.a.pan” happiness filled my heart.

“Eita’s stomach is so easily captured.”

Before Saeko-san’s voice brought me back to reality, I was busy stuffing natto rice into my mouth.

Fuyuumi grinned.

“Can I come over to make breakfast from time to time?”

“Of course I would welcome you—but, if Chihuahua knew of this, do you think she would stay silent?”

Saeko-san glanced at me, she really enjoys teasing me.

“I am not going out with Chiwa anyway.”

“Then there’s no problem!”

Fuyuumi happily returned to the sink, and started washing the dishes.

I am really grateful for her.

Although I am grateful, I still can’t understand anything.

I think eating a great breakfast and liking love[10] are two different things.

♦

The first line was Chiwa’s complaint.

“The mayhem between my childhood friend and my friend.”

While Fuyuumi was clinging to me as we were getting ready to walk out of the house, we met Chiwa who was also leaving her house. What a scary situation.”

“Hey, Ai, why are you coming out from Ei-kun’s house?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I made breakfast for him.”

Fuyuumi was clinging to my arm.

“It doesn’t matter, right? Takkun is single anyway, so I don’t need to care about Natsukawa-san. Of course, I don’t need your permission either!”

That line was full of challenge.

On the other hand, although Chiwa looked lost for a moment, she remained calm throughout.

“Ei-kun, it’s great that you can enjoy your breakfast. It’s been a long time since you ate a nice breakfast, right?”

“Now that you said it, that’s definitely the case.”

Because recently my time spent studying late has increased, my breakfast is usually simple, some bread from the convenience store and milk, or just white rice coupled with miso soup.

“Although I can make breakfast for you, it is definitely not comparable to Ai.”

“Fufufu, Chiwa has improved a lot, but you still have a long way before reaching my level.”

Speaking of that, I remember Chiwa was learning culinary from Fuyuumi.

Although that’s the case…….

Surprisingly, Chiwa wasn’t mad.

If it was Masuzu, she would instantly create a mayhem.

‘Why are you coming out from Ei-kun’s house, you childhood friend thief!’

‘O—hohoho! That’s of course because I am his girlfriend, regrettable Chihuahua-san!’

It’s not that I want to boast, but I can totally imagine this scene, even imagining myself being useless between them.

Because the enemy is not Masuzu, she doesn’t have the will to fight?

Fuyuumi seemed to be thinking about that same thing.

“Chiwa, don’t you have anything to say?”

“Eh?”

“Even if I go to school with Takkun, you won’t bark at me, or bite me?”

“Compared to that, I have more opinions towards being treated like a dog.”

Although Chiwa stared at Fuyuumi with watery eyes, her expression instantly returned to usual.

“Instead—is Ai fine with that?”

Fuyuumi frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Despite your relationship being long distance, are you fine with having an affair so openly? Are things stale between you two? He didn’t come back during summer vacation too.”

“So, what are you talking about?”

“You’re still asking me that……”

Chiwa looked at me.

Seeing that troubled expression, I understood what Chiwa wanted to say.

We said the same line almost simultaneously.

“Where is Murata Michel Daigorou?”

Fuyuumi face froze, still frowning.

Katakata! She started trembling.

Gashi! She covered her face and screamed at the cold morning sky.

“Ai-chan, setting epically forgotten---------------!!” [11]

So she really forgot about it……

This girl forgets her own setting way too easily. Although she’s stubborn, she's usually honest and can’t really become a “liar”. Completely opposite from Masuzu.

“Err, ermmm, that’s, so, Mich.e.l.l, should I say he has almost disappeared[12]—he didn’t call or message me recently, this won’t do. It must be Tokyo that changed him! The people of Kabukichou[13], the exhaust gas from Tokyo Highway, the electromagnetic waves of the Skytree[14], all of it corrupted his heart!”

So she is saying that her breaking up is all Tokyo’s fault. Apologize to all the Tokyo citizens.

“So you broke up?”

“I, I dumped him!”

She wants to come out on top no matter what, how A-chan-like.

“Because you broke up with Michel, so you want Ei-kun to become your boyfriend. Although it’s not wrong to say it’s like Ai to do so,”

“Tha-that’s not the case! I am not like those promiscuous women!”

Yeah, the thing light about A-chan is not her behind, but her brain.[15]

“Then what is this? Two timing?”

“Like I said, no, no, everything is not like what you think it is—!”

Fuyuumi shook her head, with her eyes in tears, and moved backwards.

After piling lies after lies, the s...o...b..ll is reaching a breaking point.

She looked so pitiful, and just as I was going to help her—

“Oh, right, I forgot I have disciplinary committee work! I am running to school—!”

Before I can stop her, she was already sprinting away in the direction of the school.

“Ai can run really fast—it would be great if she joinededed the track and field.

“Although that is not the point you should be complimenting.”

I sighed and walked forwards.

Chiwa followed me closely.

“I heard it will rain this evening, Ei-kun, have you brought your umbrella?”

“I left mine in the cla.s.sroom beforehand.”

“It might get stolen.”

“I prepared for that too, my name is written on top in huge letters.”

“Ahaha, how Ei-kun like.

A really boring conversation.

When I am with Masuzu, Hime or Fuyuumi, such conversations rarely happen.

“You weren’t angry just now.”

“Eh, angry about what?”

I asked her carefully why she wasn’t angry when I left my house with Fuyuumi.

“Oh, that”, Chiwa laughed.

“Because Ai is not Natsukawa.”

“…….and?”

“I don’t need to get so serious, although I can’t really explain it.”

What does that mean?

Although she sees Masuzu as an enemy, that isn’t the case for Fuyuumi?

“Also, if I fight with Ai in front of your house, you would be troubled, no?”

“That’s not wrong.”

It would leave a bad impression on the neighbors if mayhem occurred so early in the morning in front of our houses.

“I don’t want to trouble Ei-kun. That’s all.”

“Tha-thanks.”

Chiwa was thinking out of her way for me.

What is this feeling.

My nose is twitching, my heart feels warm……

“By the way, Ei-kun, did you lost weight recently?”

“Really?”

I think Masuzu said something like that before too.

Chiwa looked worried.

"Although I wouldn’t like to trust Ai on this, but if Ei-kun can eat properly this way, then it’s fine. Is this what they call 'lose a dime and win a dollar'?"

Although I think the meaning is somewhat off, I can feel Chiwa’s kindness from that.

d.a.m.n.

Why am I getting embarra.s.sed? I can’t look at Chiwa anymore.

♦

When I opened the locker, I found something different from usual.

“……hmm?”

My indoor shoes have become brand new ones.

In my locker there wasn't my old dirty shoes, but a pair of new ones.

Did someone make a mistake and take my shoes?

No, that’s probably not the case. If that happened there is no reason to put a new pair in.

“What’s wrong, Ei-kun? We’re running late.”

“No-nothing.”

Pressured by Chiwa, I wore the new indoor shoes, the size was perfect.

Although I didn’t suffer any real losses, I don’t really feel good about this……

Shuraba Collection

～ShuraColle～

Submarine

Hime 666

Firepower 7

Torpedo 56

Luck 40

Armor 11

Primary Armament: 61cm (C2) Torpedo

h.e.l.lo from the bottom of h.e.l.l～(No fluctuations in tone).

I hope everyone calls me Hime, this is the name of my soul(Look honest).

Look at this swimsuit Eita specifically asked for, full of beautility[16]?(Pleading)

The Torpedo of the sacred dragon shall carve victory into the horizon of dawn……(Reverberating)

Translator notes and references Jump up↑ Anti-love is “Renai Anchi”, Fuyuumi mistook it as “Renai Onchi”. Jump up↑ I just took the original sound effect without changing it, no idea if it’s supposed to be the thumping of the heart or the punches. Jump up↑ Originally 食わず嫌い, literally hating a food before even trying it. Jump up↑ Seaweed, Saccharina j.a.ponica. Jump up↑ Hourensou no ohitashi is the name of the dish. Jump up↑ The original sentence was 朝からノリツッコミｉｎ俺の部屋. Nori Tsukkomi is a form of tsukkomi where you go along with something that is off before throwing the punchline after some time. Basically a delayed tsukkomi, which happens frequently between Eita and Ai. Also notice that “in” is in English. Jump up↑ Oba-sama, respectful tone. Jump up↑ A type of rice scoop. Jump up↑ s.p.a.ce as in 空間, can mean some sort of dimension, or just plain s.p.a.ce. Jump up↑ Liking love, not liking Fuyuumi. Not to be confused. Jump up↑ Similar to her usual “愛衣ちゃん大勝利” (Ai-chan, Epic Victory!), this is 愛衣ちゃん設定大忘却 Jump up↑ Original word was 消滅, different from 消失, so instead of being “disappear”, it has a meaning of “destroyed” or “annihilated”, but can also mean “disappear”, but it is just not the most suitable word. Panic reaction possibly. Jump up↑ Red light district in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Jump up↑ Tokyo Skytree, world’s highest free-standing broadcasting tower. Jump up↑ Promiscuous or s.l.u.tty is written as 尻軽, literally meaning “light b.u.t.t”. Jump up↑ Not to be confused with beauty. Hime is a submarine right now, utility is important.