Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru Vol 3 Chapter 1

#1: It's Summer Cram School Cla.s.s but Mayhem nonetheless

Summer vacations were always so long.

If you didn’t have close friends to frequently hang out with, but only nodding acquaintances among cla.s.smates, it wasn’t rare to see their appearance change in the months after saying goodbye. Girls often took the stage after dumping their summer boyfriends. These kinds of things happened very often.

Having said that—

"Waan——♪ These pork ribs! So tasty."

But to the Chihuahua who directly gobbled it straight from the electric hotplate, this should be irrelevant, right?

So like this I was still having dinner with Chiwa today. The fact that it was summer didn’t make a difference. The menu would not suddenly change into pasta or bamboo wheat noodles. It was consistently meat, meat, meat! As long as Chiwa was still my dining partner, I couldn’t escape from the fate of having fat along with animal proteins.

"Hey, Ei-kun."

"You already finished all of today's meat, so just eat some vegetables."

"Pfuu— I’m not talking about that—"

Even though Chiwa said that, her eyes kept being locked on the meat ribs still lying on my plate.

"What I wanted to say was: This year’s summer seems pretty relaxed—"

"Mhm, because there aren’t any club activities."

Chiwa squeezed her chopsticks and only approached in the direction of my plate. Just eat some vegetables!

"It was supposed to be a pa.s.sionate hot summer dedicated to become popular —but now it’s really byoring[1]!"

"Don’t worry, you won’t become popular whether you have club activities or not."

"That's low! You don’t understand this type of things. If I just grow up and get a 'naisu bode[2]' then I’ll be fine!"

Chiwa’s shining eyes were fixated on my gaze: 'So give me some meat, okay?' It was so annoying. Just eat some vegetables!

"Ah— If only I had signed up for summer cram school."

"Why bring that up?"

Chiwa smiled and said:

"Then I’d be with Ei-kun every day!"

"[...] ...Well, that's as far as that discussion goes. Just eat some vegetables."

"Eh? Ei-kun? Why are you blushing?!"

Chiwa seized the opportunity and leaned forward.

And then she took advantage of my vulnerability, s.n.a.t.c.hed the piece of rib and threw it into her mouth.

"Nn! Be ~ witch ~ ing."

"YOU, let that go! Quick, spit it out!"

Chiwa stuck her tongue out.

"I ate it already! Just by thinking it was Ei-kun’s meat, the degree of deliciousness increased three times!"

"Th-This little..."

Ever since that 'Jien-Otsu' had started, I felt like Chiwa became harder to deal with than before. This must've been Masuzu’s influence and all of that practice in causing mayhem. In my opinion, nothing was more troublesome than this.

While I reluctantly grilled some round slices of eggplant on the electric grill, I said:

"Now that you say summer cram school, I remember. That girl is also there."

"That girl?"

"Fuyuumi Ai."

As soon as she heard that name, Chiwa’s smiling face due to the ribs suddenly became more and more severe.

"Hey, so she’s not meeting up with that college student named Michael? Even though she has a boyfriend, how does she have time to study? I bet that in reality she was just lying!"

Chiwa’s voice was unusually sarcastic.

"Hey, have you always had a bad relationship with Fuyuumi?"

"How could it be good?"

Chiwa hit the table with a bang, and said:

"Do you remember the time when I was called to the staff office around the end of May?"

"Of course."

That was before 'Jien-Otsu' had been established.

It was when Chiwa recklessly believed everything from teen fashion magazines, like 'Looking up with the eyes is popucute!'. As a result, she went around glaring all boys with sharp eyes and stirred up trouble.

"The root of that matter was actually a fight with Fuyuumi. She had said that using 'gangster eyes to threaten everybody around, disrupts the discipline'!"

"I see."

It surely sounds like something she would say.

"It seemed like she was being especially strict towards me, as if she was in front of her nemesis."

"Have you done anything to make her dislike you?"

"I can’t think of anything—"

Chiwa suddenly sighed and said:

"And will our maiden’s club be shut down just like that?"

"The keys to the club room have already been confiscated, so there is nothing we can do about it."

"What's with that? Isn't Ei-kun frustrated as well?"

"Not at all."

In fact, I found that not being wrapped up in all of these strange club activities by the hands of these guys was quite marvelous. Like this, I could actually concentrate on studying this summer.

"But that someone was boasting about her boyfriend like that! How could we, having the goal of 'becoming the school’s most popular', accept it just like that?!"

"Maybe... But it doesn’t matter in any case, right? Just being popular won’t get you into college."

Chiwa hung her shoulders and said:

"Why is Ei-kun being so indifferent about these kinds of things? Have you never thought about 'becoming more popular'?"

"Never thought about that, never thought about it."

Just watching you all is enough for me.

Chiwa stared at me strangely:

"Actually, I wanted to ask you this before. Has Ei-kun ever been popular or been confessed to before Natsukawa?"

"How could that be possible?"

But after I said that—

"...Actually, there was one."

Chiwa suddenly left her seat, fl.u.s.tered, and said:

"You’re kidding. Really? W-W-W-Who was it? Is it someone I know?"

"No, it was something from kindergarten."

Chiwa relaxed as soon as she heard that, sat down again and said:

"Whut, so it was like that? That's past history already."

"What's with that 'Whut'? To me it was a beautiful memory."

This was something that happened around ten years ago during this time of the year, at Wakaba Kindergarten in Cla.s.s Star.

Even though I already forgot the girl’s name and appearance, I’ll always remember that she was a gentle and lovely girl. Well, maybe this was my brain only remembering the good parts.

After we finished eating, we began to clean up.

We split the ch.o.r.es 'in the usual formation': I washed the dishes at the sink while Chiwa wiped them dry and placed them on the shelves.

"Hey, Ei-kun, what are you doing on August 1st?"

"August 1st? Hm, I wonder what?"

"Forgotten it already? It’s the annual Hane River fireworks festival!"

"Ah, so it’s already that time of the year?"

Hane River was a first cla.s.s river[3] that flowed through the center of Hane city. The fireworks festival on the riverbank was the largest summer activity in the city, known as the 'Hane Fire Festival'. The festival had many night market stalls and when I had been little I used to eagerly look forward to that day all the time.

"Since I couldn’t go last year, can we go together this year?"

"With me?"

Chiwa’s father used to always take the two of us in elementary school, but ever since middle school we each went alone with our own friends.

"...T-This isn’t weird, right? Didn’t we use to go together all the time when we were little?"

Chiwa shifted shyly and blushed.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway. It's just some fireworks.

"So it's like that, Well, le—"

I was about to say 'well, let’s go together' when I suddenly realized:

—Isn’t this a surefire 'flag' for mayhem?

I don’t know why my mind noticed this potential development just now.

 

First, I’ll agree to go to the fireworks festival with Chiwa.

Second, Masuzu will invite me, but I’ll refuse her with 'I’m going with Chiwa' and Masuzu will get angry at me.

Third, Hime will invite me, but I’ll refuse her with 'I’m going with Chiwa' and Hime will curse me.

Fourth, on the day of the festival, they’ll both come to get in the way and it’ll be mayhem!

 

—Bad, this is very bad.

Chiwa looked as if she was in a daze and said:

"What is it, Ei-kun? You don’t look so good."

"Nothing, my Evil Eye[4] has predicted a terrible future."

"...?"

My Chuunibyou unconsciously relapsed, but we’ll put that aside for now.

This mayhem flag was seriously bad, I couldn't let it raise.

Saeko-san had once said: 'Whether it is in reality or games, one must carefully watch the flags!'

"Sorry, Chiwa, I'll pa.s.s for this year."

"Eeeh—! Then who are you going with? Natsukawa? Or maybe Himecchi?"

I simply shook my head and said:

"I’m not going to the fireworks festival. I’m going to be in a study room at cram school, studying."

"But this is a once in a year event! As for studying, you can study another day?"

"But summer cram school is once a year as well, right? After paying an expensive fee, I want to make it meaningful."

"You really are way too d.a.m.n serious, Ei-kun."

"'d.a.m.n' is unnecessary there!"

Chiwa gave a big sigh and said: "Well there really is no way—"

'If anyone had enough time—', she murmured while wiping the utensils.

Sorry, Chiwa.

I've had enough mayhem.

This summer I officially want to live the ideal high school life!

 

♦

The second day of summer cram school. Formal lessons finally started.

Even though the registered capacity of the cla.s.s was fifty people, the cla.s.sroom had about a hundred seats in a huge room. The air conditioning was good, so were the soundproof walls. It was the environment for studying.

Fuyuumi Ai sat a little away from Kaoru and me and was wearing her uniform like the day before. Once, she was picked out by the teacher during math cla.s.s and could finish the difficult problem after two or three moments by which she earned the teacher’s praise. From Kaoru’s report I heard that Fuyuumi was number three on the finals in the entire grade. She was a formidable opponent, and if I didn’t pay attention, my place as number one could possibly be taken away.

Thanks to this I became more enthusiastic and was able to be more concentrated during the difficult cla.s.s material. I thought this kind of stimulating stuff was the merit of summer cram school, and it was worth the savings spent to attend these lectures.

After two 90-minutes periods ended, it was lunchtime. I ate lunch with Kaoru at the cram school cafeteria.

Kaoru sucked with a straw on an aluminum bad strawberry milk as he said:

"A-chan was really awesome back there."

I bit into the salmon and b.u.t.ter onigiri which I had made myself and answered:

"Yeah, using that kind of approach to solve a quadratic equation, you can tell she's a big shot."

When Kaoru heard that, he seemed to become very anxious and said:

"I wasn’t talking about studying~~!"

"Huh?"

"Look, during break time, wasn't she surrounded by all sorts of boys from other schools?"

"Aah, so it's like that."

Out of all of them, she was clearly hardworking. Against all of the plain girls, Fuyuumi’s silhouette stood out distinctly. Her appearance was delicate and particularly striking. Beside her were boys pretending to ask Fuyuumi questions about schoolwork, but in reality they were flirting with her. Every once in a while, the cla.s.sroom echoed with an angry sound, 'go away'!

Kaoru happily chuckled and said:

"A-chan is cute, smart, and clearly popular. And even if she doesn't look like it, she's also great at cooking."

What?

Is Kaoru really praising Fuyuumi?

Even me, a slowpoke in that area, can see it. A clear case of 'someone praises the one he likes', isn't it?

In other words, could it be—

"...Kaoru."

"Yes? What?"

"'That's impossible', is what I was thinking, but do you happen to like Fuyuumi?"

I struck a bell.

Kaoru fell off the cafeteria chair, while crying loud.

"Are you okay, Kaoru?"

"It's not okay! Meanie!"

Kaoru found his seat again and exclaimed loudly:

"Why would you say something like that? Weren't you listening to me at all?"

"It's because I was listening that I thought that."

Kaoru angrily tore off a piece of sweet bread, and said:

"Then, let me ask you this, Eita!"

"O-Okay."

"What do you think when A-chan gets that popular with those other guys?"

"You’re asking what I think of that?"

I took a bite off my omelette while I thought out-loud.

"It's kind of related to that."

"Ye, ye! And 'that' is?"

"Those lovestruck-minded people who only believe in love. This kind of people are really hopeless."

Kaoru’s eyes, which were originally immensely interested, rapidly dimmed down.

"To pull off numbers like those during summer cram school, what are they thinking? Even though they paid a lot of money to go to cla.s.s, they’re just wasting it. If you want a romantic comedy, go somewhere else."

"[...] [...] ...I understand, I guess that is true."

Kaoru gave up and crossed his legs while he continued sipping strawberry milk.

Apparently this answer wasn't the best.

Ehh.

What kind of answer was Kaoru hoping for? I didn’t know what the correct answer should've been like.

At this time, Kaoru was looking diagonally past my back.

When I looked behind me by reflex, I saw a figure rapidly duck behind the cafeteria vending machine.

Near the coin chute, I saw a vaguely familiar waving skirt.

It was the skirt of the Hane High School uniform.

And, considering the circ.u.mstances, there was only one person who could meet this criteria here.

"Ah-haha— Eita, could you wait just a second?"

Kaoru stood up with a stiff smile and ran towards the vending machine.

The sound of two people quarreling mixed into the noise of the cafeteria, I could somewhat hear the contents of it.

 

— 'What are you doing? It was really hard for me to arrange this.'

— 'Y-You’re just meddling in other people’s business!'

— 'Again with that hard front? I wonder who was crying and begging on the phone last night?'

— '[...]'

— 'Well, go on then. And this time don’t be stubborn.'

— 'N-N-No, I can’t! No! I’m not mentally ready yet!'

— 'Then, when will it be all right?'

— 'T-Tomorrow I’ll give it my best!'

— 'That’s no good! You do understand that the clock's ticking?!'

 

It seemed like the argument was quite intense.

What is 'that’s no good' supposed to mean?

Give it your best tomorrow, was that about to studying?

If that's the case, keeping this mindset going would definitely be bad. Exactly like Kaoru said, time moves forward. In the first part of 'JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures', there was a similar kind of plot. When the shy teenager Poco was reprimanded by his sister: 'To-... Tomorrow I’ll do-… I’ll do it!', 'Which tomorrow are you talking about?'[5]

"S-Sorry to keep you waiting, Eita."

"[...]"

Fuyuumi Ai was dragged and tugged by Kaoru, and finally taken in front of me.

She was blushing, maybe because of the argument from moments ago.

"Yo, Fuyuumi."

"[...] [...]"

Fuyuumi’s kept silent with a stern face and avoided my eyes.

"A-A-chan? What about a greeting now?"

"[...] [...] BAKA, BAKA!"

File:Oreshura v03 055.jpg

"That doesn't qualify as a greeting, no? No? That's not it, no?!"

"O-Okay, Kaoru! Calm down."

I grabbed Kaoru’s shoulders to calm him down and guided him to his seat; Fuyuumi continued to give a tsuntsun aura as she sat next to Kaoru.

"Well..."

Feeling greatly unsettled, I looked back and forth between those two.

So, what should I speak about with Fuyuumi?

Normally, Kaoru would help find some kind of subject to talk about, but today was definitely different from normal.

In the end, it’ll be 'LET’S TALK'.

"Fuyuumi, you went to the same elementary school as Kaoru?"

"Yes, is there a problem with that?"

"[...] ...It's all right, you know, it's all right.[6]"

What's with this girl? Why does she seem like she always wants to pick a fight?

I couldn't even get to my usual way of speaking, 'me' is 'ore'[7]

By then, Kaoru finally returned to his usual self after having cleared his throat with a 'ehem'.

"My friendship with A-chan started in elementary school when we were in the same cla.s.s. We were cla.s.smates until fourth grade."

"He, that's quite the relation."

Incidentally, I only had been in the same cla.s.s as Chiwa three times up until sixth grade.

"During the first semester of fifth grade, A-chan’s family moved to another district, so we went to different schools in middle school. She came back to this city this spring."

"I see."

If she didn’t move, she possibly could have attended the same middle school like Chiwa and me.

"So to summarize, Fuyuumi and Kaoru are childhood friends."

At this time, Fuyuumi’s bowed head suddenly stiffened.

She raised her head and stared at me with a terrible look.

"...W-What is it...?"

"Nothing. At. All."

"What’s wrong with being childhood friends?"

"There's! Absolutely! Nothing! Wrong! At! All!"

"[...]"

No matter how you look at it, there's something…

Is 'childhood friend' a bad word for this girl?

So it'd be better to just change the subject.

"Ah, right, Fuyuumi."

"...What?"

"I heard you have a boyfriend in college, right? His name's Michel?"

The sound of several things falling to the ground could be heard, along with some spitting sounds. Kaoru gave an astonished sound and slid off of his chair again.

This time it was even worse than before and caused everyone in the noisy cafeteria to suddenly become silent. Everyone stared at Kaoru, wanting to know what was going on. Only Fuyuumi seemed embarra.s.sed, lowering her head.

"A-Are you okay, Kaoru?"

Kaoru smiled stiffly and said: "Ahahahahaha, I’m fine, I’m fine—" while he stood up.

"Heh, what? A-chan's boyfriend? What's up with that? Where did you hear that? Where did you hear that—?!"

"I heard Chiwa mention it."

Of course I couldn’t say that I overheard it while I was hiding out in the infirmary, so I phrased it like this.

"A-chan, can you come with me to the hallway for a second?"

Kaoru said this with a broad, sparkling smile on his face and an devilish aura.

H-How scary.

Even though we knew each other ever since the start of our third year in middle school, I had never seen such a frightening Kaoru.

"Eita, can you wait for us for a moment? I have something to say to Fuyuumi, alone."

Kaoru dragged the crestfallen Fuyuumi into the hallway. Maybe I am overly suspicious, but his behavior was even rougher than last time.

Kaoru didn’t know his childhood friend had a boyfriend…

But maybe this is how it always is childhood friends of the other gender. Chiwa and I are a special case, but generally it'd be very embarra.s.sing to talk about romantic stuff.

The sounds of two people could faintly be heard from the hallway. They seemed forget about me as they talked, and the volumes of their voices was becoming quite high. They probably didn’t notice.

 

— 'Hey-hey, what boyfriend? What’s with that?'

— 'There’s nothing I can do about it! It just turned out that way!'

— 'What were you thinking? You on your own set up a trap for yourself. Don't you have any determination at all?'

— 'O-Of course I do!'

— 'There's little time left until that 'promised day', right?'

— 'True, that's why I... [...]'

 

Then Fuyuumi’s voice became soft and I couldn’t hear it.

The promised day?

What does that mean? That was really an unusual phrasing.

If it was Hime, she would probably say 'the final showdown between the Evil Dragon ClanWyvern and the Holy Dragon ClanDragon has finally come! That is the Twilight of the G.o.dsRagnarok—!', that kind of complex chuunibyou lines.

Fuyuumi couldn’t also be one of those chuunibyou people whose brains were filled with delusions, right?

...No, that's just impossible. For someone who's known as the disciplinary committee's devil, becoming such an irrational person is impossible.

 

— 'I said it yesterday. Only this once I'll pay for the favor.'

— 'I know.'

— 'I can only be your ally during this summer.'

— 'I do know.'

— 'I’ll make opportunities for you to speak, for what comes after this - you have to earn it yourself.'

 

It seemed like they finished negotiating.

When Kaoru returned to his seat, his expression seemed quite calm. Perhaps because he was done saying everything he wanted. Even Fuyuumi, who had been tsuntsun moments ago, seemed willing to look into my eyes.

Fuyuumi took a cute pink bento box out of her bag. Inside were an omelette, octopus sausage, onigiri, and mini tomatoes. Everything was smaller-sized than normal and completely different from the amount of food in Chiwa’s bento. People would hardly be able to believe these were both bentos belonging to girls.

While I was wondering if the amount of food was really enough, Fuyuumi placed the bento box in front of me without hesitation 'zui', and said:

"K-K-Kidou-kun!"

"Y-Yeas?"

Because her facial expression was too serious, the sound of my response was distorted.

"Please feel free to pick anything!"

"...Eh?"

"Please feel free to pick anythiiiiing———!"

"[...]"

Even though I couldn’t quite grasp the situation, it seemed like she meant to say 'eat my bento box'!

"Is that all right? With such small portion won't hardly anything be left for you?"

When Kaoru heard this, he responded with the same serious face as Fuyuumi:

"Just eat, Eita! I’ll let A-chan have some of the jam bread I brought!"

"You're mistaking the means for the end..."

Anyways, this wasn’t the kind of atmosphere where I could just refuse.

I took a piece of omelette wrapped in basil leaves from the bento box.

"Then I’ll swap this with you."

I took a piece of fried food from my own bento and stuffed it in the empty s.p.a.ce where the omelette came from.

Fuyuumi looked dumbstruck as she stared at my face.

"Is that all right?"

"Okay, we’ll consider it a food exchange."

I placed the omlette into my mouth. The amount of salt was just perfect, accompanied with the wonderful aroma of basil leaves in the mouth.

"Hmn, quite good."

"REALLY?"

"Did you make this? I can see why Kaoru was praising you."

I wasn't one of those people who liked sweet eggs, but these weren’t bad at all.

Fuyuumi began to tremble, which might make one think she was having convulsions. She immediately picked up my fried food and put it in her mouth.

She didn’t even properly chew before she swallowed it, and then she stood up.

"I’m going to run outside."

"Huh?"

"I'M GOING TO RUN OUTSIIIIIIDE——!"

Fuyuumi leaped and jumped as she left the cafeteria, and it seemed like her head almost hit the ceiling.

"W-What is she doing…?"

"Ah, what could it be? Isn't she just extremely happy?"

Kaoru suppressed some laughter in his throat while he spoke.

"Happy about what?"

"But isn't it obviously because Eita praised a dish she made?"

"...?"

Why?

I am a.s.sociated with Self-Performing Group[8], the considered enemy of the disciplinary committee. What was there to be happy about, after she received my praise?

Could it be that she thought: 'If I can receive the praise of even my enemy, then my cooking skills are really good'!?

"Hey, Eita."

Kaoru’s face suddenly became serious:

"Even though A-chan can be stubborn, she definitely isn’t a bad person."

"That's what it seems like."

If she can spring up and down so happily in front of others, I don’t think she can be a bad person.

"If she has a tsuntsun att.i.tude, there’s definitely a reason for that. I hope you can think about this reason really carefully."

"What reason?"

Kaoru grinned with a 'can't you think about it' smile.

When he spoke in just whispers, I felt like recently: Kaoru had been involved in many secrets.

"...Well, it's fine."

Just understanding that Fuyuumi isn’t a bad person is enough. And this is a rare summer spent taking cram school cla.s.ses, so it would be stupid to waste it with fighting. If I can become friends with Fuyuumi, we may be able to help each other out with school work.

Huhuhu[9].

I didn’t imagine it’d feel so good without club activities.

This is it.

The summer I've always dreamed of, it's like this!

 

♦

However, just as I was speaking of those pleasant winds, I was immediately knocked back into h.e.l.l.

At the start of afternoon cla.s.ses, I received a text message.

This famous RPG’s background music 'you have equipped a cursed weapon'[10], was the ringtone I set that girl’s text messages to. As soon as I heard that music, my clear-blue-sky mood suddenly turned into a downpour.

 

[From] [email protected]/* */

[Subject] ド ド ド ド ド ド ・・・[11]

[Text] Over there, is there anyone?[12]

 

Right.

I forgot.

After thinking about it, of course I should have expected it.

I realized that before me was a harsh truth.

——Even if there weren’t any club activities, my girlfriend wouldn’t just disappear.

Let me repeat it again.

Even if there weren’t any club activities, my girlfriend wouln’t just disappear—!

 

Translator notes and references Jump up↑ Byoring: Her usual cat-talk. Jump up↑ Naisu Bode: Her attempt on "Nice Body", miss-p.r.o.nounced. Jump up↑ First Cla.s.s River: j.a.pan apparently utilizes a cla.s.sification system to determine the conservation/importance status of rivers. Jump up↑ Evil Eye: He uses "jagan" (邪眼) naturally. A famous concept on popular culture. Jump up↑ Poco is a shy farm kid who kept running away from responsibilities. His older sister slapped some sense into him with that line before getting kidnapped by vampires and zombies. Jump up↑ Speaking childish. Jump up↑ He used a childlike tone (boku), normally he speaks in an ore-tone. Jump up↑ Self-Performing Group: Ai used "Jien Shuudan" (自演集団) to label their club. Jump up↑ A Masuzu laugh. Jump up↑ You have equipped a cursed weapon: "Nowareta Bugu wo soubi s.h.i.te no toki" (呪われた武具を装備しての時). In pretty much every dragon quest you can equip cursed items, and in some of them, if you do so, the BGM changes. There are memes a.s.sociated with this. Jump up↑ ドドド: Menacing atmosphere. Jump up↑ Over there, is there anyone?: j.a.p. internet meme.