Ore no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba Sugiru Vol 1 Epilogue

#11: It's the Epilogue; yet, it's Merciless Mayhem

All in all, in either cases—

The next day, Masuzu came to school like nothing had happened.

After school, Chiwa also came to the clubroom like nothing had happened.

And just as it did in the past, the 'Society for Bringing Out Your Maiden Self' recommenced club activities.

"Well, in short, Sakagami-senpai and I weren't fit for each other."

Chiwa chewed on mince cutlet bread while she readily summarized the romance with the cool guy.

"But, I won't give up! Because I want to become popular to the point that even Ei-kun will cry enough to fill an ocean."

Yeah right, Chiwa. When the time comes, I will cry tears of joy.

"That's the spirit, our high school life has barely just begun, our true battle will start from now on."

Masuzu, since we just re-started the club activities, please don't immediately raise another bad flag!

Thus, even though it was almost time for final exams, our Jien-Otsu club decided to try some new combat tactics.

'Girls who can cook are seriously cute' became the new theme of strategy.

This combat strategy was exactly what the literal meaning described, but Chiwa simply could not cook.

"Masuzu, can you actually cook?"

"Me? I absolutely cannot."

'Just what are you trying to do', Masuzu's eyes told me as she stared at me.

"If you can't, it doesn't matter as long as you pretend that you can."

"...This pattern again...?"

"It'll be fine if Eita-kun just eagerly eats the bentos we make. Tomorrow at lunch, just eat in the cla.s.sroom in front of everyone and emphatically praise our cooking. Even though it may not be edible… you'll just have to endure it. It's about endurance."

*thunk*! Chiwa patted her chest and said:

"No problem, Ei-kun! I'll work hard so my food won't be life-threatening!"

"You guys never even intended to have me taste a delicious meal!"

I banged the table with great force.

"No, I absolutely won't eat it! It's nearly final exams, and I don't want to upset my stomach!"

"So, ah, what a shame."

Masuzu turned her head, *phuu*~ and said with a sigh:

"Changing the topic, my computer's been acting strange recently. The hard disk often makes weird noises."

"Oh? Well then you should go get it fixed soon."

"The sounds it makes are really quite strange. It's a 'The Secret of the Note, Secret will be Expose-, Expose-, Exposed—♪' kind of noise."

"Ah, well that means it's broken beyond repair… —wahh— I think I've changed my mind, I want to eat— I mean I'm so looking forward to eat Masuzu-san's and Chihuahua-chan's...o...b..ntoooooooos![1]"

♦

The next day at lunch—

Originally, this was going to cruelly deprive the relaxing time Kaoru and I had together.

"Well, then today I'll go to eat in the student cafeteria."

"S-Sorry Kaoru!"

Please don't leave...

Please don't leave me here all by myself!

"Then, why don't you try some of my o-bento? Give it a try, Eita-kun."

"I'll go first! These type of things are supposed to be left to the ones that have the longest relationship, right?"

I sat sandwiched between the two of them. They were so close to me, that it was difficult to move my chopsticks.

"For a mere childhood friend, you are actually quite shameless. For cases such as those, doesn't the girlfriend get the highest priority?"

"Hmph. You barely started dating a few weeks ago. Do you really think that can win over our nine years together?"

Really, it doesn't matter how you look at it, this seems to be the chapter of 'Kidou Eita has reached popularity'.

As a matter of fact, since some time ago, the expression of all the cla.s.smates – especially that of the boys – were filled with incomparable jealously. That said, Yamamoto-kun, what is that straw doll supposed to be for? Maybe that 'Give me a strand of your hair' that you once said was just for that sole purpose?

Wrong...

Certainly Wrooooooong!

"Well then, rather, why won't we have Eita-kun pick one?"

"All expectations on me?!"

The two of them opened the lids of their bentos at the same time.

Instantly, a horrible stench flowed all around me.

That clearly wasn't the color of something you put in your mouth.

This actually seemed to be taken from a guro[2] video and was sufficient to trigger a mental breakdown. The thought of it caused my appet.i.te to be blown away!

Yes, they actually exceeded my expectations.

"Uh, Chiwa..."

"What, Ei-kun?"

"What is this black charcoal-like object? Is it coal?"

I am not some steam engine train.

"This is Chiwa-chan's meaty meatball specialty! It's made by wrapping up fried streaky pork! It looks good, doesn't it?"

Well, if only it weren't charred like this!

"Uh, Masuzu......"

"What is it, Eita-kun?"

"This— What is this pile of brown slime in the bento box? Is it edible?"

"Maybe?"

Masuzu gracefully tilted her head.

"To be honest I don't remember anything that happened during that time…"

"You lost your memory when you cooked?"

Besides, how can you make me to eat this stuff?

"But it'll be fine , I'm sure it'll be delicious."

"There is no foundations for that claim! Then, just eat some first!"

Thereupon, without speaking a word Masuzu immediately looked away.

...T-This woman...

"Oh, hurry up and eat —I'd like to hear your thoughts? Okay?"

Chiwa's eyes began to glow with excitement.

"This is the meal in which I poured my whole heart, please taste it thoroughly."

Masuzu smiled brilliantly.

I had already begun to regret the words I said to Masuzu the day before yesterday.

I actually said: 'I'll help you stop Chiwa from leaving'.

How long was this going to go?

When were you guys going to stop?!

I began to hear the boys of the cla.s.s grumbling in resentment. 'Little s.h.i.t... ', 'Die, die right now! ', 'Why is that kind of guy popular? ', 'Pan – Pang -Pang' ※ This was the sound of Yamamoto-kun banging nails on the straw doll. 'It can't be that he is playing them both!?', 'Even if it's Chihuahua, let me have her!', 'Better yet, just change places with me!'

—Sure, let's change.

That is, if you're willing to cook for Chiwa every night.

If you think you resist Masuzu's wicked tongue and JoJo reference exchanges.

Whenever you want it, let's change.

"...Hey, Chiwa."

I looked far away:

"The so-called popularity... is it possible that it's not as great as you think...?"

"Ei-kun is suddenly acting like if he is so cool!"

"Ara, since he's my boyfriend, of course he's cool."

Mugyu! Masuzu hugged my left arm.

"No way! H-e i-s m-y childhood friend!"

Chiwa refused to admit defeat and pulled my right arm.

"Why don't you give up?"

"Why don't you give up?"

ゴゴゴゴゴゴ[3]...

With this JoJoJoJo like background sound effect, the two of them glared at each other.

The male students, also filled with incredible hatred, glared at me.

I don't want it...

This type of high school life, I don't want it!

I'm stuck in the carnage between my girlfriend and my childhood friend[4]!

Translator notes and references Jump up↑ "O" is added prior to certain words to add more importance to them. Jump up↑ Short for "grotesque". Jump up↑ "gogogogo" is the sound effect of "tension rising" or "menacing atmosphere" , it's actually pretty commonly used in JoJo, to the point where it's almost characteristic. Jump up↑ He is using the light-novel t.i.tle.