Open Water Part 7

"That's your question? What a waste. I'm disappointed in you."

Ca.s.s heard the tiny note of relief in Laura's voice. "Nope. That didn't count. I'm saving up." She stood still, aware that her hand was still holding Laura's. She felt like a schoolgirl on her first date, but she really didn't want to let go. She waited for Laura to pull her hand free and was surprised when Laura instead swung their hands back and forth, pulling Ca.s.s back toward the gate. "Fine then. Save it up, 'cause yes, I'm hungry."

Ca.s.s kept her hand in Laura's as they headed back to the residential area. As they walked, she considered the opportunity to ask Laura anything. Could she...did she dare ask about what she'd overheard in the gym? She didn't want to risk their fledgling connection, but... Glancing up at the relaxed expression on Laura's face, Ca.s.s tabled the idea for now, unwilling to ask anything that might chase away their enjoyment of the afternoon.

Chapter Twenty-One.

"Hey, give me a hand with this, would you?" Sheila Adler called out to the room in general, hoping someone was inside to lend a hand.

Ca.s.s looked up from her book and quickly jumped up and ran over to hold open the door. Boxes of all sizes threatened to wobble free of her grasp, and Ca.s.s tripped over the jumble of mattresses on the floor in an effort to save them. Together she and Sheila carried their load to the small TV alcove just off the main room, stacking the boxes against the walls. Sheila grunted as she dropped the largest of the packages to the floor. She placed her hands on her hips and leaned back, forcing her back to audibly pop. She smiled as Ca.s.s winced. As awful as they sounded, they both knew how good those bone-cracking stretches could be. Sheila glanced around as they returned to the common room.

"Holy cow. You guys certainly have moved in out here." Mattresses, mostly unmade, were strewn around the room, tucked into every available nook and cranny. Some grouped in pairs, others single and one or two set apart from the rest, the room was a patchwork quilt of bedding and pillows.

"It's been weird, but okay. At least there's air here. I'll bet the guys don't have to go through this."

Sheila scratched her head and shook it in disgust. "No, dammit. Their dorms are perfect. It's only us and the Dutch, and let me tell you, they're pretty p.i.s.sed. The coaches' launches have better A/C than your dorms," she muttered, wiping her brow. She was referring to the large, shallow-draft boats she and her a.s.sistants used to coach the teams while on the water.

Sheila dropped tiredly onto one of the overstuffed chairs, propping up her feet on the edge of a nearby footrest. Toeing off her sneakers, the coach leaned her head back against the seat with a sigh. She glanced over to where Ca.s.s was folding herself into a corner of the long couch.

"How about you? How are you holding up?"

"You mean with the dorm thing?" Ca.s.s shrugged one shoulder. "Fine, I guess. It's not really an issue. I mean, at night when I'm here, I sleep, you know? I'm so wasted by the end of the day that it would take a lot to wake me."

"Good." Sheila lifted her head to study Ca.s.s, quietly a.s.sessing her.

Her long, measuring look didn't pa.s.s unnoticed, and Ca.s.s met her gaze squarely, her expression open. "What?"

"Nothing." Sheila dropped her head back again. "Okay, not 'nothing,' but it's not anything. I want to know how you're doing. With the training, with the team, with...adjusting. You kind of hit the ground running here, and I haven't had as much chance as I'd like to talk." She tilted her head from side to side, stretching her neck and enjoying the rare opportunity to just sit and relax with one of her athletes.

An Olympian herself, "back in the day," as her charges occasionally teased her, Sheila was well acquainted with the pressure her women were under every day. The scrutiny of not only members of the international press, but also the sponsors, the coaches, their own families, and, perhaps most of all, themselves. n.o.body was harder on an athlete than the athlete herself. That's what made them who they were. The best of the elite. "G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses among us," as one newspaper headline proclaimed this morning. Walking examples of what everyone aspired to be. Young, fit, beautiful and perfect, or as near as possible, specimens of humanity at its finest. Too bad everyone around them wasn't as...pure. Or as good an example. Sheila waited for Ca.s.s to answer her question, and when it was apparent that she wouldn't, Sheila tried again. "So, really. How are you? I really want to know, Ca.s.s." She waved a carefully lazy hand toward Ca.s.s. "You, the leg, how's your head. Are you in the game? Ready to go? Anything I should know about?"

She dropped her arm to her side and waited. One of the hardest things she'd had to learn as a coach was how to get her athletes to open up. To admit to...needing. They were, all of them, and she counted herself among them in this case, such cla.s.sic type A's. Driven, determined, goal-oriented. So focused on the result that the "self" often fell by the wayside. Getting any of them to come to her was sometimes like pulling teeth, and she knew instinctively that Ca.s.s Flynn fit that type to a T. So she sat bonelessly in the chair, very much alert and waiting for Ca.s.s's answer, her eyes mostly closed, carefully keeping still. She didn't yet have a handle on Ca.s.s, but she really needed to know how the newest team member was doing, both professionally and personally. She didn't move as Ca.s.s stretched and flexed her leg, instead watching the limb move smoothly despite the ma.s.sive scarring that crisscrossed the tanned skin.

"Oh." Ca.s.s was quiet for a minute, then spoke up again. Her words were slow to come, almost hesitant. "I'm fine. Honestly. The leg's good-better, in fact, than I would have thought possible, given the amount of work we've been doing. I feel good here...right, you know?"

"Mmm hmm."

"I mean, yeah, the first few days were a bit...rocky, but now...yeah, I'm good."

"Good." Sheila would take "good," for now. She was mostly listening to what Ca.s.s didn't say. Rather, how she sounded. And to Sheila's mind, Ca.s.s sounded, well, good. Confident, relaxed, or as much as was possible in this highly charged atmosphere. They sat together in silence for a few more minutes before Sheila grunted and pulled herself upright. "Well, since you're so 'good,'" and she made air quotes as she stretched again and shot a teasing look at Ca.s.s. "You can help me sort out some things."

"Um, sure. Are we talking literally or figuratively?"

"Literally. Come on. Our racing uniforms just came. Took them long enough, these things were supposed to be delivered before we transitioned to Beijing. Give me a hand separating them out, would you?"

"Oh, very cool. I've been looking forward to getting mine."

In tandem, they opened boxes and began the sorting process. After a minute Ca.s.s spoke up, "You know, I realize it's probably really nerdy, but...well, I'm really excited to get the uniform." She blushed, the color rising up her fair skin.

Sheila raised an eyebrow at Ca.s.s, smiling at the bright flush coloring Ca.s.s's face and neck.

Ca.s.s shrugged. "I know, sorry. I keep expecting it to...I don't know, wear off. Usually it's the rookies who go gaga over their uniforms. At this level, we're supposed to be, well, over it, I guess."

"It's not nerdy, and I'll tell you a secret. No less than nine of your teammates have asked me when these were going to arrive." Sheila glanced around at the empty if cluttered room then leaned in to say conspiratorially, "And, truth time here, I still get an incredible thrill when I put on the team jacket." Slightly embarra.s.sed herself, Sheila's shrug echoed Ca.s.s's earlier one. "What can I say? I love wearing that Team USA logo."

Ca.s.s looked at Sheila, "It never gets old, does it?"

"It hasn't yet."

The two exchanged companionable smiles as they continued their work. Sheila was glad that it had been Ca.s.s she'd found to help her. She had a better handle on her now, a better understanding of how Ca.s.s fit with the whole.

For the next two hours, Ca.s.s helped Sheila sort the long-awaited uniforms. She bagged and labeled as Sheila called out names and tossed the Lycra unitard and accompanying shorts, polo shirt and jacket toward her. The two chatted about the upcoming races and their primary compet.i.tion, and Ca.s.s enjoyed the opportunity to get to know her coach a bit more. Finally, with everything bagged and awaiting the return of the athletes from their free afternoon, Ca.s.s grabbed a bottle of water for each of them and led Sheila out onto the roof.

"I love coming up here, smog and all." She settled herself on the low wall that bordered the rooftop, her legs dangling over the edge. "Welcome to my s.p.a.ce."

"Quite a view." Sheila leaned forward and peered over the edge before stepping back to look over the city and newly landscaped parkland before her.

"Yeah." Ca.s.s pointed out the landmarks she knew. "Over there's the restaurant block." She laughed quietly. "I have to say, I haven't been able to find much in the way of real Chinese food, other than the place Sarah's dad took us. Oh, and the one night out with the girls from the eight." She nodded toward the restaurant block. "Do you know there's even a Panda Express over there?"

"You're joking."

"Nope." Ca.s.s pointed past the restaurants to the edge of the official Olympic area. "See over there? Laura and I were at that little park the other day and on the way back we decided to grab some dinner. Since the food place was closer than the residential area, we stopped in. You wouldn't believe it, Coach. Baja, Panda, there's even a Tommy's!"

Sheila said nothing, just raised an eyebrow. It went without saying that eating that sort of food, even on a day off, would not help you stay in condition.

Ca.s.s laughed. "No worries, Coach. It was all fast food, so we just came back here. Laura said you'd make us do extra circuits at the gym if you caught us eating junk!"

"I'm not that bad. You know what you can and can't do to remain effective. However, I am not above the occasional 'I told you so' when it's warranted." Her dark eyes studied Ca.s.s a moment, her expression curious. "So. You and Laura have become friends?"

Ca.s.s shuffled her feet and looked down. She turned away from the city, swinging her legs around and then standing to rest her b.u.t.t against the wall. "Yes," she said finally, slowly, as if still thinking about it. "We're friends. At least, I think so. Sometimes..." Ca.s.s turned to face her coach, her eyes troubled. "We have these moments. You know? When we're talking and we get really close and it feels...I don't know. Great. Then, she just closes off. I can never tell if it's something I said, or did, or...It's frustrating."

Sheila was silent as Ca.s.s turned around again, bending and resting her arms on the low wall, her chin resting on one fist. She sighed and drained her water bottle while Ca.s.s waited for her response. She leaned forward and mirrored Ca.s.s's pose on the wall. "I'm pretty sure it's not you, Ca.s.s. Or, if it is, it's not you, but something, someone you remind her of."

"What do you mean?"

Sheila hesitated, then said quietly, "It's not my story to tell. If you want to know, you'll have to ask her."

"I will."

"I'll just ask one thing, okay?"

"Sure."

"I trust that you know this, but I need to say it." Sheila waited until Ca.s.s turned to face her. "Don't ask her until after tomorrow's time trials, okay?" She straightened up, stretching again. "I'm asking not just as her coach, knowing she's got an important event tomorrow. I'm asking as a friend of hers. There's a lot there, and it would be hard for her to put it aside and then race."

"Got it."

"Thanks."

Ca.s.s turned away again to lean on the wall, this time turning her eyes in the direction of the boathouses. Sheila followed her gaze, both looking toward a venue they had no hope of seeing from this distance. As the afternoon sun faded into the painted sky of early evening, Sheila considered the woman beside her. There was a lot to Ca.s.s Flynn, and, despite the upset to the team and ripples losing a team member had caused, Sheila was glad of the accident that had brought Ca.s.s to them now. She was good for them, Sheila realized. Good for the double scull team and good for the squad. And perhaps for one of them, more than just good.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

The soft breeze did little to ease the sweltering heat still oppressing the village, but Ca.s.s turned her face toward it anyway. Eyes closed, she listened to the sounds of the city below her; m.u.f.fled now in the deepest, stillest part of the night, that hour or so between darkness and dawn, when it seems the whole world is fast asleep. From the distant waterfront, Ca.s.s could faintly hear the soft chiming of the bells on the bows of the local boats as they danced in the harbor, teased by the incoming tide.

In the stillness, she reflected on yesterday's events. The traffic on the water had been increasing in the marina area, so much so that the Olympic committee had had to ask the Chinese security forces to increase the safety zone for the rowers as they practiced. Yesterday's time trials had been cut short when an overzealous camera crew had strayed too close to the racing lanes and swamped one of the Chinese singles as they neared the finish. Luckily, n.o.body had been injured, but the complaints from the teams had been enough to galvanize the committee into action. Finally.

Restless and on edge about her own heats coming in the morning, Ca.s.s had tossed and turned before finally creeping past her sleeping teammates and up to the roof of the building, looking for relief from the omnipresent heat, and for a little solitude. It had been hard to find any time alone since the entire squad had moved into the common room of their floor. The air conditioning in their individual rooms was still out and looked to remain so for the duration.

While she'd enjoyed the enforced togetherness as a chance to really bond with her teammates, especially Laura, Ca.s.s was looking for a little quiet time. She was solitary by nature and the constant company and forced closeness was an additional strain. She had not heard anyone stir as she made her careful way through the maze of mattresses on the floor, so she was surprised now to hear soft footfalls behind her. Turning, she saw Laura's distinctive figure emerge from the darkness. Ca.s.s smiled softly and whispered, "Hi."

"Hi back." Laura glanced around, squinting in the pre-dawn darkness. "Why are we whispering, is there anyone else up here?"

"'Cause it's really quiet and no, n.o.body's up here, just me. And you."

"Yeah, I saw you leave and when you didn't come back, I...well, I was worried." Laura stepped closer, her eyes on Ca.s.s's face. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Ca.s.s smiled into Laura's eyes, enjoying the current of excitement she felt when Laura was near. Her fingers itched to reach out, to touch the strong face in front of her, but she stilled them, afraid of losing the tenuous connection they had now, of being rejected. Ca.s.s broke away from Laura's gaze, turning to catch the slight breeze again. "I, um, couldn't sleep."

Laura moved next to her, leaning her b.u.t.t against the low rooftop wall. Her shoulder brushed Ca.s.s's as they stared in opposite directions into the night. "Nerves? Or the heat?"

"No. Yes. Both, I guess."

"You'll be great, I know it." Laura gently b.u.mped Ca.s.s's shoulder. "Your times the last two weeks were amazing, weren't they?" Laura waited a moment. "Coach was actually smiling after the heats, so you know she's excited. You two set new personal bests yesterday, despite the chaos on the water. My boat's started calling yours the 'little engine that could,' you know."

"I know. Just, well, nerves. You get them too, don't you?" Without waiting for Laura's response, Ca.s.s continued, "I want us to do well. All of us."

"You will be great, you know," Laura repeated her earlier a.s.surance. "I only hope our eight goes as well tomorrow."

"Oh, no fear of that. You all tore up the course in practice. You'll win, I'm sure of it." Ca.s.s lifted her eyes to meet Laura's gaze in the darkness. It was easier here, in the dark, just to look at her friend. She did not have to hide how she felt in the dark and was not worried that Laura would see too much. Laura had opened up a lot in the last two weeks and they were on the way to being good friends, despite the taller woman's tendency to pull back from anything too personal. Anyone who got too close. Every time Ca.s.s tried to get Laura to talk about herself the walls came up again. It seemed like for every step forward there was one back. It was frustrating, but everything in her told her that it was worth it to take those steps with Laura.

Ca.s.s replayed the coach's words, turning them over and over in her mind. It's not my story to tell, you'll have to ask her. Was it worth the risk of their friendship, she wondered? She was intrigued, by Laura and by how she felt when they were together. Or apart. Laura's face, or her eyes, or her smile, would pop up in her mind when she least expected it. Each time sending that tingling feeling straight to her stomach. Was it worth it? Yes, Ca.s.s thought. It was. She was.

"Thanks." Laura nudged Ca.s.s with her shoulder. "Don't overthink this stuff, Ca.s.s. You'll psych yourself right out of the regatta."

Ca.s.s sighed softly. "I just..." She paused. "I want it so much, though, you know?"

"I do." Something in Laura's voice pulled at Ca.s.s, made her ache just a little, as Laura continued. "It's hard, isn't it? Wanting something so much, almost too much, knowing that one small thing could keep it from you."

Ca.s.s wondered if Laura were still talking about the upcoming races. She hoped not. She didn't want to read too much into their time together that day at the park, or into the brief conversations they'd had since. While she wasn't at all sure how Laura felt about her, Ca.s.s knew how she, herself, felt and was afraid of it. It was not logical to feel for somebody what she felt for Laura this fast, especially in this situation. It's the emotion of the Olympics, the excitement. It's just you. She hasn't hinted either way... "Laura?" Ca.s.s suddenly heard herself speaking and started in surprise. She hadn't meant to speak at all.

"Yeah?" Laura's soft voice was silken in the night and sent a shiver down Ca.s.s's spine.

"I...um..." Oh s.h.i.t! Nice, chicken, now what? "I'm really glad you...I mean, that we started over. That we've become friends. It means a lot to me." Ca.s.s trailed off, sure her blush was lighting up the roof like a beacon.

Laura shifted and Ca.s.s felt Laura's fingers slide down her arm to tangle with her own. Laura's bigger, calloused hand enveloped hers and Ca.s.s felt the warmth of her touch spread from her hand to encompa.s.s her body. Laura gently squeezed once before letting go and easing Ca.s.s into a hug. "So am I, Ca.s.s. So am I."

Ca.s.s settled against the solid warmth of Laura's body.Forgetting the still, humid heat of the night and her nervousness about the upcoming races, she just let herself slide deeper into the embrace. It felt like coming home. She fit here, tucked into Laura's arms, against the steady beat of Laura's heart. Here she was safe and the woman holding her...solid. Laura's hands tightened against her back and pulled her even closer. Ca.s.s let out a sigh and wrapped her arms around Laura's solid strength. This is good. This...I could get used to. Guess I do have a hint as to how she feels.

"So, have you thought of your question yet?"

"Hmm?" Ca.s.s burrowed in a bit deeper into the hug trying to figure out what question Laura was talking about. Their quiet moment in the park a few days earlier popped into her thoughts and she considered briefly before answering, "Yup, but not now, okay?" she asked, mindful of her promise to their coach.

"Mmh."

How long they stood there, Ca.s.s had no idea. Eventually, she felt Laura lift her head from where it lay resting atop her own and gently release her. Laura slid her hands down along Ca.s.s's arms, then pushed off the wall and tugged Ca.s.s toward to rooftop door.

"C'mon, sport. Let's get some sleep. Plenty of time for hugging after you win next week."

In the darkness, Ca.s.s smiled and enjoyed the warmth of her hand held in Laura's. "Yes, Coach." She squeezed the hand holding hers once more.

"Besides," Ca.s.s added, "you need your rest more than I do. You have a race to win tomorrow."

Hands clasped loosely together, they left the dark stillness of the city behind them.

Chapter Twenty-Three.

The water rippled softly, indicating the tiny bit of wind across the course. It was enough to cool but not enough to impede the racers, and Ca.s.s hoped it stayed that way for the race. Though she couldn't see it, she knew what was happening at the start. The team in the eight, ready to go, Amy asking them to count off, then telling them to hold steady. Behind Amy, at the stern, would be the volunteer's hands, preventing the sleek scull from drifting away from the start. The race director would be checking the teams off while Amy was performing one last check of her crew and craft. Ca.s.s had never rowed a c.o.x'd boat, a boat directed by a c.o.xswain, but she knew the procedure. Amy would be running through her own mental checklist, calling out the seat number of each woman and nodding sharply to their "ready" response. The rate counter on the c.o.x-box would be set and ready, and Amy would make one left and right push with her feet to clear the tiny rudder one last time. Then she'd settle in, her eyes on the boat's leader, the stroke. On Laura.

The crowd around her shifted, allowing Ca.s.s and her group access to the rail that circled the runoff area. The move also now gave Ca.s.s an unimpeded view of the giant big screen positioned at the end of the course, and Ca.s.s sucked in a sharp breath as she looked up at the giant screen. As if the camera crew had read her thoughts, there, larger than life, was a close-up of Laura's tight, focused features. She couldn't hear what Laura said, but Ca.s.s saw her lips move in response to something, probably Amy's check. Even on the pixilated screen, the intensity of Laura's green eyes shined through and her gaze flicked up once, directly into the camera. Directly into Ca.s.s. Ca.s.s felt her heart stutter for a second before beating faster than before. She wiped suddenly sweaty palms on her shorts and took a steadying breath.

The camera's focus pulled back, giving them all a clear view of the start line. Lined up precisely at the start, bright white numbers mounted on the bow just behind the bow ball, the boats sat sleek and ready. The quivers of the boats as the crews moved gave the illusion that the sculls were eager to race. Ca.s.s's eyes stayed on Laura's boat, and she watched as Laura rolled her shoulders in her familiar pattern-once forward, once back, and once more forward-before settling her oar gently back in the water, causing barely a ripple in the gla.s.s-like surface.

Volunteers lay along the end of the starting docks, forearms hanging down, hands gently cradling the aft deck and holding the boats in place. Their job was to prevent any drift that might give a team an advantage or cause a false start.