One-Act Plays Part 62

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. We'll be all right if we keep away from Hull.

ALBERT. We'll go to London.

BILL. But 'e must 'ave 'is share.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. All right. Only let's go. [_To THE TOFF._] We're going, do you hear? Give us the ruby.

THE TOFF. Certainly. [_He gives them a ruby from his waistcoat pocket; it is the size of a small hen's egg. He goes on reading his paper._]

ALBERT. Come on, Sn.i.g.g.e.rs. [_Exeunt ALBERT and Sn.i.g.g.e.rS._]

BILL. Good-by, old man. We'll give you your fair share, but there's nothing to do here--no girls, no halls, and we must sell the ruby.

THE TOFF. I'm not a fool, Bill.

BILL. No, no, of course not. Of course you ain't, and you've helped us a lot. Good-by. You'll say good-by?

THE TOFF. Oh, yes. Good-by. [_Still reads his paper. Exit BILL. THE TOFF puts a revolver on the table beside him and goes on with his papers. After a moment the three men come rushing in again, frightened._]

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS [_out of breath_]. We've come back, Toffy.

THE TOFF. So you have.

ALBERT. Toffy.... How did they get here?

THE TOFF. They walked, of course.

ALBERT. But it's eighty miles.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. Did you know they were here, Toffy?

THE TOFF. Expected them about now.

ALBERT. Eighty miles!

BILL. Toffy, old man ... what are we to do?

THE TOFF. Ask Albert.

BILL. If they can do things like this, there's no one can save us but you, Toffy.... I always knew you were a clever one. We won't be fools any more. We'll obey you, Toffy.

THE TOFF. You're brave enough and strong enough. There isn't many that would steal a ruby eye out of an idol's head, and such an idol as that was to look at, and on such a night. You're brave enough, Bill. But you're all three of you fools. Jim would have none of my plans, and where's Jim? And George. What did they do to him?

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. Don't, Toffy!

THE TOFF. Well, then, your strength is no use to you. You want cleverness; or they'll have you the way they had George and Jim.

ALL. Ugh!

THE TOFF. Those black priests would follow you round the world in circles. Year after year, till they got the idol's eye. And if we died with it, they'd follow our grandchildren. That fool thinks he can escape from men like that by running round three streets in the town of Hull.

ALBERT. G.o.d's truth, _you_ 'aven't escaped them, because they're _'ere_.

THE TOFF. So I supposed.

ALBERT. You _supposed_!

THE TOFF. Yes, I believe there's no announcement in the Society papers. But I took this country seat especially to receive them.

There's plenty of room if you dig, it is pleasantly situated, and, what is more important, it is in a very quiet neighborhood. So I am at home to them this afternoon.

BILL. Well, _you're_ a deep one.

THE TOFF. And remember, you've only my wits between you and death, and don't put your futile plans against those of an educated gentleman.

ALBERT. If you're a gentleman, why don't you go about among gentlemen instead of the likes of us?

THE TOFF. Because I was too clever for them as I am too clever for you.

ALBERT. Too clever for them?

THE TOFF. I never lost a game of cards in my life.

BILL. You never lost a game?

THE TOFF. Not when there was money in it.

BILL. Well, well!

THE TOFF. Have a game of poker?

ALL. No, thanks.

THE TOFF. Then do as you're told.

BILL. All right, Toffy.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. I saw something just then. Hadn't we better draw the curtains?

THE TOFF. No.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. What?

THE TOFF. Don't draw the curtains.

Sn.i.g.g.e.rS. O, all right.

BILL. But, Toffy, they can see us. One doesn't let the enemy do that.

I don't see why....