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"I don't know," he admitted.
Oh, G.o.d. She sat up, shifted her legs to the side of the bed and prepared to stand, needing the floor beneath her and clothes on her body for the conversation she suspected was to come.
"Mia-" he ran a hand through his already bed-and-s.e.x tousled hair "-wait."
She hesitated.
"I know I won't be okay if you get up and leave. Last night..."
"Was a fantasy come true," she whispered. When he opened his mouth to interrupt, she added, "I know why you came here, I know why you set this whole thing up. And believe me, it worked. I won't ever forget it and I know no man will ever make me feel what you made me feel last night."
As if he heard the sadness in her voice, he slowly sat up. "That's a bad thing?"
"Revenge is never a good thing."
He opened his mouth, then closed it, unable to deny what she already knew was true.
"But neither is cowardice," she added. "And me leaving Pittsburgh the way I did was pure cowardice."
His beautiful lips twisted into a frown. "Because I was too tame for you. Too nice, I think your voice mail said."
Hearing the bitterness in his tone, Mia immediately reached for him, putting one hand on his arm. He allowed the contact. "I am so sorry. I know you think that's why I left and what I meant. But it wasn't."
He remained motionless. "Then why?"
How to explain? How to tell him that she'd been trying to do what was best for him? That she'd misjudged him so completely as to think he'd end up with a broken heart-or worse, hating her-if they stayed together?
It was the ultimate irony. Because at that moment, knowing it was one of their last, Mia's was the heart that felt utterly pulverized.
"You were better off without me because I'm a heartless b.i.t.c.h," she finally admitted in a shaky whisper.
"Like h.e.l.l..."
She held a hand up to stop him. "It's true. I'm ambitious and cold and I often trample over other people's feelings."
A twinkle appeared in those green eyes. "I would agree with two of those. But cold? No. Definitely not. I'm still on fire for you."
"I don't mean s.e.xually."
"Neither do I," he insisted.
"Brandon, the last man who loved me ended up hating me when all was said and done because he couldn't keep up with me and I always had to be in control."
"Then he was no man."
She blinked.
"Relationships aren't about control. And anyone who demands control doesn't understand the beauty of occasionally surrendering it." He bent and kissed her fingertips. "Like you did, last night."
Oh, she'd most definitely surrendered control last night, let herself be pleasured in as many ways as she could.
"Loving someone is about trusting them enough to not be in a constant state of struggle. Who gives a d.a.m.n about who decides which restaurant to go to or who pays for the popcorn or what color the new curtains should be? That's not control, that's pettiness."
Good lord, it was as if he'd looked into a crystal ball and seen her past. The arguments he'd mentioned exactly described the final months she'd lived with her former lover.
"Couples who let the small s.h.i.t tear them apart weren't meant to be together, anyway. And they play the I Want/ You Want game to escape a relationship they know isn't going to work."
The man had a future as a therapist. Or a seer.
"People who are meant to be together rise above pettiness every single time, Mia." He pulled her back down onto him, running his fingers through her hair, then cupping her face. "It's yin and yang, give and take. Offering control and accepting pleasure. Compromise."
She could say nothing, so she answered by brushing her lips across his. For the first time since last night, she began to sense that perhaps it wasn't too late for her to fix the mistake she'd made in pushing him away for his own good.
But he didn't respond by kissing her back. Instead, he frowned lightly and added, "I don't need you protecting me."
It was as if he'd read her thoughts.
The frown softened as he trailed his fingers across her bare shoulder, gently caressing the tender skin at her nape. "And I won't let you try to stop me from loving you."
Feeling moisture p.r.i.c.k her eyes, she asked, "You really love me?"
"I do."
"Even after last night?" She needed to know for sure whether what had happened last night might ever come back to haunt them. Better to know now. Her voice quivering, she added, "After everything I let someone else do to me?"
Brandon rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip. "I loved watching that...."
"But?"
"But I'm glad it stopped when it did."
"So am I. There's a fine line between fantasy and regret. I'm glad we didn't cross it."
He shrugged. "I know. Because if it had gone much further I would have had to rip that guy's d.i.c.k off."
Mia couldn't help it, she threw her head back and laughed. "You're the one who started it!"
"And I'm glad I was the only man who finished it."
So was she.
"I love you, Brandon," she whispered, knowing he had to be waiting for the words. His smile told her how much he treasured them. "Thank you for coming after me, even if it was just to teach me a lesson."
"I think I'm the one who got the lesson."
"I think we both did. You definitely don't have to prove anything else to me ever again."
"Like that I'm your match in bed? That I can go toe to toe with you on anything you come up with?"
Stretching like a cat, Mia slowly rose, straddling his lean hips, feeling him already hard and ready between her thighs. "Hmm...as I recall, you said something on the phone that night about gentle restraint." She wrapped her fingers around his wrists and pushed his hands over his head, holding them there, pretending he was trapped. "I've got you now. You can't move a muscle, can you?"
He played along with the fantasy, the latest they'd fulfill. But he couldn't help thrusting up and groaning, "I'm pretty sure I was talking about tying you up, sweetheart."
"I don't remember that at all."
Laughing in helpless desperation, he nipped at her breast, but Mia remained just out of reach. "Okay, okay, I give up. I'm willing to lie here and let you..."
He hesitated over the final unspoken words that echoed in the silent bedroom: be in control. But as if already determined to prove everything he'd said earlier, about give and take, yin and yang, he instead finished, "...have your wicked way with me."
She giggled at the old-fashioned term and at the helpless expression on his handsome face.
"Just be warned. When it's my turn? We'll be using real silk scarves."
Mia shivered, physically aroused and so happy she didn't know what to do. So she ended the game, collapsing on his chest and catching his mouth in a slow, sweet kiss.
Then catching the rest of his body in slow, sweet love.
As they rocked and swayed together, Mia couldn't help murmuring, "I'm so glad I didn't go back to my place last night."
"Mmm, me, too. Think they'll let us keep this room another day or two?"
A wicked laugh spilled out of her mouth. "If they knew the kinds of naughty things that had taken place in here, I'm sure they'd have ordered us out already."
"Are you saying n.o.body else in this hotel got lucky last night?"
"Brandon," she replied, going very still to look down at him with pure love in her eyes, "I don't think anybody in the whole world was as lucky as we were last night."
Epilogue.
They nearly missed their flight.
After a long, full night of eroticism and tenderness, Izzie and Nick both overslept. By the time Izzie glanced at the clock through nearly lowered lashes, awakened by the slant of sunlight peeking through the slit in the heavy drapes, it was nearly ten. Their flight to Aruba left O'Hare at noon.
The two of them threw their things in their suitcases, washed and dressed frantically, and raced out of their room. The whole way down in the elevator, Izzie snuck glances at her watch, nibbling her lip in concern.
"There are other flights, if we miss it we'll catch the next one," Nick said, obviously noticing. Then he smiled slowly, that s.e.xy, insatiable glimmer in his eyes. "We could always come back here. I sure wouldn't mind spending another night like the last one."
Oh, goodness, neither would she. Though she and Nick had been lovers for several months, nothing had prepared her for the intensity of being married lovers. It had taken all the physical pleasure and catapulted it beyond anything she'd ever known. She'd never suspected, never dreamed how much better things could get with the exchange of two rings and some vows.
"Wait, is that Gloria?" Nick said as they got off the elevator and strode toward the lobby.
Izzie glanced at the main hotel doors, seeing a dark-haired woman walk out them. Shaking her head, she replied, "I doubt it. She was going home last night. Lots of little boys to take care of."
Nick must have heard something in her voice. Because even though they were running terribly late, he stopped and put a hand on her shoulder. "We're not having kids for a long time, remember?"
She nodded. While she wanted Nick's babies, she didn't want them anytime soon. She and her new husband were having too much fun by themselves. "I know. But when we do? Promise we won't be like Gloria and Tony, doing nothing that doesn't involve the kids, never sparing a private moment for each other."
He put an arm across her shoulder and started walking again. "I promise."
Feeling better, since Nick would never break a promise, Izzie murmured, "I feel a little sorry for her. I know she loves your brother, but she's just so...maternal. Unadventurous."
"I think you got all the adventurous genes in your family," Nick said as he led her out the door into the cold Chicago morning. He slipped the doorman a big bill and the man stepped right out in traffic to hail them the next pa.s.sing cab.
"Mia's tough, but you're right, she's not exactly adventurous when it comes to her personal life," Izzie admitted. "She never lets herself go, never takes chances. It's a shame." Thinking more about the topic, she added, "It seems as if none of my bridesmaids are terribly lucky in the romance department."
"Gloria and Tony love each other...."
She waved a hand. "Oh, of course they do, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about wild, romantic, fun relationships." Her jaw tightening, she muttered, "I wish Bridget could get over that jerk FBI agent who strung her along last year. And that Leah would meet some rich doctor while she's going to nursing school, someone who'll pamper her and treat her right after all the garbage she went through in her childhood."
"I'm sure there are lots of rich doctors at the club," he offered, a tiny smile on his lips. "Just none who are looking for a wife."
She smirked. "You found one there."
"No, I think you found me on a table full of cookies at Gloria and Tony's wedding."
Izzie responded by swatting her new husband's arm. She'd long heard the snickers about how she'd fallen on top of Nick when she'd been a chubby teenager and he a s.e.xy young Marine. He'd called her Cookie ever since. "You want to continue this honeymoon, don't mention that again."
He made a lips-zipped motion over his mouth.
But even the light banter with her s.e.xy hubby couldn't distract Izzie from her thoughts of her sisters...and her friends. "Even Vanessa, as beautiful as she is, has no one special in her life and hasn't for as long as I've known her."
"That's a shame," Nick said, slipping an arm around her waist. "But it'll happen. Would you have pictured us being like this six months ago?"
Izzie shook her head. She most definitely had not envisioned this day even as recently as last summer. "You're right. Something wonderful could happen to any of them."
"Maybe it already did. Who's to say they didn't have as spectacular a night last night as we did?"
They looked into each other's eyes, both remembering the night before. And both of them burst into peals of laughter at the exact same moment.
Because that was absolutely impossible.
When the laughter faded, Izzie put her head on her husband's strong shoulder, noting the way he had turned his back to the wind to shield her from the cold. So protective. G.o.d, how she loved him.
The doorman quickly got them a cab and they hurried over to it, hopping into the backseat as the driver tossed their bags in the trunk.
"You okay?" Nick asked, once they were under way. "Not worried about your bridesmaids anymore?"
She shook her head. "No. Like you said, it'll happen, maybe even today. Who knows? This could be the first day of the rest of their lives."
Her new husband brushed his lips across her forehead, then her cheek. "Just like it is ours," he whispered.