Once More A Family Part 23

This timeRia had nearly died-and maybe Jimmy, too. All because he'd beendrowning his sorrows in beer instead of keeping his word. A frigging thirtyminutes late, only it might as well have been a lifetime.

He wasn't exactly sure when he'd given up trying to measure up. Sometimeafter the paramedics had dumped him onto a cold table in the ER and beforehe'd jerked awake to find her curled into a chair by his bed, begging him notto die.

Jimmy needed him, she'd said. Jimmy loved him, she'd said.

For Jimmy's sake she didn't want him to die.

For his own sake he wished he could, so he wouldn't have to face himself inthe mirror every morning, knowing he'd let them down again. h.e.l.l, maybe he'djust grow a beard, he thought, closing his eyes.

He was drifting, trying to keep his mind blank, when he heard her voicemurmuring a greeting to one of the nurses. A split second later she appeared,carrying a huge bouquet of roses that nearly hid her face. Her skin was stillpale and swollen around the dark bruises on one cheek. On the other, the deepscratch from Benteen's blade was still bright red. Every time he saw thatthin, angry line he bled a little more.

"Jimmy sends his love," she said as she bent to kiss him.

Somehow he kept himself from hooking his good arm around her neck and drawingher against his chest. He'd lost the right to need her the moment he'd steppedinside the cottage a half hour too late.

"How's he doing?" he asked as she fussed a little with the vase beforepulling the chair closer.

"Pleased as punch that he'd been the one to bring that friend of yoursrunning full tilt to the rescue."

"He should be pleased. He kept his head."

"He must have told your dad a dozen times how you'd explained about the flag.He thinks you're a real hero."

"Sure he does." He shifted, then remembered why that was a bad idea.

"So do I."

He managed a grin. "You're aiming all that grat.i.tude at the wrong guy,sweetheart. I was the half-drunk jerk pa.s.sing out on the floor, remember? TomDelaney's the one who crashed through the door in the nick of time."

"Because you had the foresight to hire him to watch over us when you weren't there."

"Nice try, Ree, but we both know I let you down." Because he couldn't quitemeet her eyes, he looked at the roses instead. Do it, a voice prodded. Now,before you lose your nerve. But he couldn't. Not yet.

"Flynn stopped by earlier. He said your friend, Brenda, has agreed to testifyagainst her husband."

"Yes. He admitted to killing both of his daughters. Flynn said he feelspretty sure she'll be a creditable witness." She pulled up a chair and satdown. "All the time I was trying to reach her, she was staying with anothermember of the support group. She'd sworn Callie to secrecy, and Callie wastrying to figure out how to get a message to me without Brenda knowing it whenthey saw the story on TV about Monk's arrest."

He heard someone laugh in one of the other rooms. Outside an ambulancescreamed its approach.

"He could have killed you, Ree."

"He didn't."

"I promised..."

"Grady, I love you."

His heart stuttered. All that was in him yearned to believe her. Somehow hemade himself look at her. Because he needed distance, he deliberately evokedthe memory of her scream when Benteen's fist connected with that elegantcheek.

"You want to love me," he said, echoing the words she'd spoken to him once."Maybe you even think you love me, but you don't."

Her mouth trembled a little, giving his heart a hard jolt, before shecontrolled herself. "I've always loved you. I was afraid to admit it, afraidthat if I did I'd lose you the way I lost my mother and everyone else I letmyself care about."

"Honey, I appreciate the gesture, but you're fighting after the bell. You andme, we had our shot. You tried to tell me that a hundred different ways, but Iwas too stubborn to listen."

"I was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. But you wouldn't let me go, and nowI'm glad." She put one hand on his forearm, and he flinched. "I won't hurtyou," she said with a gentle smile that tore into him.

"No, but I'll hurt you. No, don't say anything. Just let me get it out,okay?"

She drew a breath and nodded. "All right."

"You used to accuse me of putting my job first, and you were right, eventhough I hated to admit it. Still do, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Meand Kale, we've had this compet.i.tion all our lives. He's bigger and he'stougher, but I'm sneakier. I've been sucking up big-time to the chief."Somehow he found a grin. "b.a.s.t.a.r.d has an ego the size of Texas. Bought everyfawning word I slipped him."

She looked confused. "You hate those kinds of games. You said so a dozentimes. You'd rather retire a patrolman first-grade than kiss b.u.t.t, you said."

He shrugged, sending a jagged slash of pain deep into his side. Absorbing ithelped him to focus. "Sure, I hate it, but sometimes a man has to bend a fewprinciples to win the big one."

"I don't believe you."

"Hey, have I ever lied to you?"

"No, which is why I know you meant it when you said you loved me."

d.a.m.n, this was hard. Ask anyone in the Lafayette PD about Grady Hardin andthe answer would be the same; the man was a tough SOB who took the hitswithout whining, stayed on his feet if he could. If he went down, he kept thepain inside. And he never, ever, gave up. But this was almost more than hecould handle.

"Sure, I love you, honey. I especially love you when you make those littlenoises in your throat when I have my hands on you."

Shock settled into her eyes before that soft mouth he loved curved into ashaky smile. "I don't believe a word you're saying, Grady Hardin. Not oneword. You're just saying this to give me an out, but it's not necessary, mydarling. I don't want an out. I love you."

She took his hand and pressed it against her battered cheek. It was all hecould do to hang on to his control. "Maybe you don't believe me now, but youwill, I promise. We have so much to look forward to now. All three of us."

This was killing him. Flat-out killing him. "Ree, I tried, really tried. ButI can't be the kind of husband you want. It's just not in me."

"How do you know what I want?"

He expected relief. She gave him impatience and the simmer of anger. "I knowbecause you've told me a thousand different ways. When I came home late, whenI didn't come at all, when I left our son standing on the porch with hisfootball in his hand. When I was too tired to make love to you for weeks at atime."

The doubt was a shadow creeping over her face and dimming the glow of loyaltyand grat.i.tude in her eyes. "That was in the past. You're behind a desk now."

"Yeah, but not the right desk, honey." His grin came harder. "Like I said,I'm aiming for that big corner office overlooking the Tippecanoe. I figuretwo, three more years of pushing my guys to have the best arrest record in thewhole d.a.m.n department and I'll be a lock."

She stared at him, then very slowly returned his hand to the bed. It took allhis strength to let it lie there. "All right, Grady. I give up. I won'tpretend to understand why you're doing this, but I know you well enough toknow you're deliberately trying to drive me away."

He nearly gave in then. Only the knowledge that he would surely let her downagain kept him from taking back every lying word. "Ree, I'll always be gladyou were my wife and the mother of my son. If you ever need me, all you haveto do is call me, and I'll be there."

"Thank you. I'll remember that."

The calm in her eyes should have rea.s.sured him that he'd read her right.Instead, it made him edgy as h.e.l.l. "Honey, it's better this way."

"I suppose it is, yes." She drew a shaky breath, she squared her shoulders."Well, now that we're back to where we were before you found Jim, how do wehandle telling him that we're divorced?"

h.e.l.l, he'd forgotten that. "We're scheduled to see McCurry next week, right?The doc said I'll be out of here in a day or two. I'll stay at my place untilwe go to Chicago, and you can tell Jim I'm still in the hospital."

She gnawed her lip and considered. "I hate lying to him."

"Isn't that what we've been doing all along, lying to him?"

Her smile was a little sad around the edges. "Yes, I suppose we have," sheconceded as she got to her feet and slung her purse over her shoulder. Herface seemed paler now, the bruises darker, but her eyes were very calm.

"You know, it's a funny thing, Grady. Every time you've told me you loved me,you looked me straight in the eyes. Now, when you tell me you don't, you lookeverywhere but straight at me. It makes me wonder why."

He dug deep and told himself it was for her. Even as he forced himself tolock his gaze on hers, pain was ripping into his gut. "I don't love you,Ria ."

She nodded slowly, her expression perfectly composed, an indomitable womanwho had more character packed into that small body than he would ever have.

"Jimmy's waiting," she said with only the slightest hitch in her voice. "I'llgive him your love." She didn't wait for a reply, but instead turned on herheel and rushed out.

He lay frozen, staring at the empty doorway until his eyes burned. And thenhe closed them tight and buried his face in the pillow.

"It smells like a frigging saloon in here."

Sprawled half-naked and unshaven on the couch with the bottle of cheaptequila he was diligently emptying, sloppy swig by swig, Grady opened one eyeand glared at his big brother. "Who asked you?"

Kale walked to the window and jerked back the curtain. "When was the lasttime you had a bath?"

Grady winced at the flood of sunshine and closed his eye again. "Go away."

Instead, Kale slid open the window and filled his lungs before exhaling in adisgusted rush. "Mom would kick your b.u.t.t if she saw you now."

"She can try."

"Tough talk from a guy who looks to be one step from a shroud." Kale pickedup the bottle of antibiotic tablets on the table and grimaced. "Still full,you stupid idiot."

"So?"

"So you could lose that hand if the infection turns to gangrene."

Because he wasn't as dumb as everyone thought, Grady slitted his eyes before opening them again. The glare from the d.a.m.n sunshine seared his retinasbig-time.

"What the h.e.l.l?" he muttered, holding up the hand encased in pristine plasterall the way to his elbow. "I've got another one."

"Yeah, what you ain't got is good sense, Little Brother."

"Go to h.e.l.l." Because he didn't have anything better to do, he took a long,satisfying pull at the bottle, belched a couple of times and glared at the bigman with the hot eyes. "How'd you get in here, anyway?"

"Picked the lock."

"Call a cop," he muttered.

"You've had five of them coming around for days, banging on your door. Six, counting Tom Delaney."

"Good man, Tom. Even if he did go private."

Kale grabbed the wastebasket by the desk and carried it with him to the couch. Gla.s.s clinked against gla.s.s as he tossed in empties. "He said to tellyou he's cutting his fee in half on account of catching Old Whiskerface."

Grady reared up, then yelled at the hammer blow inside his head. "That suckerbelonged to Jimmy, d.a.m.n it!"

"Jimmy was with him when he caught it. They took a vote and decided to letWhiskers go. Seems Jimmy wanted you to be with him when he caught the bigone."

Grady bit off an obscenity before carefully lowering his head. "Guess I blewthat, too."

"Aren't you beat up enough without hammering yourself for not being perfect?"

"Not even close," he muttered, shutting his eyes.

Jimmy glanced up from the ball he was about to whack, his head tilted to oneside and a hopeful look on his face. "Is that Dad's truck?"

Dad. It was the first time Jimmy had used that word.

Mason andRia exchanged looks. Grady had been out of the hospital for fourdays now. He called Jimmy every day, and every day he pretended the doctorswouldn't let him come home. Neither Mason nor Sarah liked the plan she andGrady had come up with, but they'd agreed she had no option.

They'd also had a few choice words to say about their second son'smule-headed thinking. "Sounds more like that fancy German job of your uncleKale's, tiger," Mason said in his gruff way.

"Your dad's still in the hospital, remember?"Ria said, hating to lie, yethating the alternative more.

In three days they were to see Dr. McCurry. She had a feeling he would advisethem to tell Jimmy the truth. After that, she and Jimmy would move back to herplace and start making a life without Grady.

"Looks like another wild-and-woolly croquet tournament," Kale said as hestepped through the gate.

"Hi, Uncle Kale. Wanna play?"

"I don't know, Jimbo. I hear you're pretty unbeatable."

Jimmy beamed. "That's 'cause I'm Champion of the World. Dad said."

Kale gave a low whistle. "If your dad said it, it's bound to be true."

"Your turn, champ," she said with a smile.

"Watch this, Uncle Kale," he said with a c.o.c.ky grin. The resilience of youth,she thought. Less than two weeks ago he was sullen, withdrawn andantagonistic. He still had his moments, but each day was better than the onebefore it.

"I'm watching, sport," Kale said, fixing his gaze obediently on the ball.

"You, too, Grandpa," Jimmy ordered before hunkering down. He took his time,then rested his sneaker on his own ball, and gave it a whack, sending her ball flying.