On A Wing And A Prayer Part 31

"You went after her I hope?" Angie asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I did. I chased her right into the arms of the son of a b.i.t.c.h who's been beating her. We had a nice little Taekwondo encounter on the beach. Let's just say he won't be eating solid foods for a while," she explained vehemently.

"Serves him right. Is Rox okay? I mean, did he hurt her again?" Angie asked, concern tingeing her voice.

"A few more bruises on her neck, but nothing permanent. She was fine later that afternoon after the police took the b.a.s.t.a.r.d away," Ca.s.s explained.

"So what happened then?" the older woman asked.

Stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankles, Ca.s.s leaned back and supported herself with her hands placed strategically on both sides of her reclining torso. "Well," she said. "Her two friends left us there together ... it was really awkward ... and we talked. She confessed to being confused about my gender ... and confused about what she was feeling for me."

"And just what IS she feeling for you, Ca.s.s?" Angie asked suspiciously. She wasn't sure she liked this New Englander who had obviously torn her friend's heart to shreds.

"She says she cares deeply about me," Ca.s.s said, once more leaning forward to sit cross-legged. "She's confused, Angie. She's never been attracted to women before ... she's scared."

"And you're heartbroken!" Angie observed. "Ca.s.s ..."

"No, Angie ... don't say it," Ca.s.s said, holding her hand, palm out, toward her friend on the couch. "I don't want to hear how she's breaking my heart. Angie, I set myself up for this. I never mentioned my gender in any of my notes. I a.s.sumed she knew ... and you know what they say about people who a.s.sume ... well, you're looking at the world's biggest a.s.s," she chastised herself.

"You said you've slept the past 19 hours away. That means you got home Thursday afternoon. Has she tried to contact you yet?" Angie asked.

Ca.s.s sat up straight and tilted her head to the side. "Well ... I didn't hear the phone ring ...," she commented, her voice curiously trailing off.

"What about this wonderful e-mail you're always talking about?" Angie prompted.

"I haven't checked. I've been asleep the whole time," Ca.s.s replied.

Angie threw her hands out to the sides in a "Duh!!!" gesture. "Well???" she intoned.

Ca.s.s just looked at her friend and nodded. She unfolded her long legs and rose to her feet shaking off the deffects of the lack of circulation which was already causing her feet to p.r.i.c.kle uncomfortably.

Moments later, Ca.s.s and Angie were sitting in front of the computer waiting for the server to deliver new mail into her in box.

"I thought modern technology was faster than this!" Angie commented impatiently.

Ca.s.s threw her hands up. "Don't even go there!" she warned her friend as her inbox chimed the signal for new mail. Sure enough, there was an e-mail from Rox.

Ca.s.s sat there in front of the monitor for a few seconds, nervously staring at the icon on the screen.

"Well?? Open it!" Angie demanded, hitting Ca.s.s on the arm with the back of her hand.

Reaching for the mouse, Ca.s.s selected the note, displaying it on the screen for both of them to read.

Angie leaned down over Ca.s.s' shoulder and digested the written words in front of her. Suddenly, she rose to her full height and swatted Ca.s.s on the side of the head with her open hand.

"Owww! What was that for!!?" Ca.s.s exclaimed, rubbing the spot that had come in contact with Angie's hand.

"You ran?" Angie said in disbelief. "You ran? I can't believe you ran! Ca.s.s ... of all the stupid things to do!" she exclaimed.

Ca.s.s swung her chair around to face her mentor. "Stupid? Did you say, stupid?" she challenged. "Angie, don't you get it? She's straight! She doesn't play with girls! I don't have the right equipment!! Capishe!!!??"

Angie took Ca.s.s by the shoulders and swung her back around to face the terminal. Pointing to the screen, she said, "Ca.s.s ... look at the note again. Look at it carefully. Read the last sentence one more time," she instructed, her hands still on Ca.s.s' shoulders.

Ca.s.s looked at the screen ... specifically at the last sentence.

"Please don't pull away from me now, I need your help to understand what I am feeling for you."

Rox's words finally sunk in as Ca.s.s gasped, and Angie dug her fingers deeper into Ca.s.s' shoulders for support. Reaching up, Ca.s.s covered Angie's hands with her own and whispered, "There's hope, Ang ... there's hope!"

Ca.s.s was pacing again ... this time in front of the computer. One hand was tightly hugging her own midsection, while the other one played nervously with her bottom lip.

"d.a.m.n it, Ca.s.s, you're making me nervous wearing a path in the rug like that. Will you sit down and answer the woman?" Angie demanded.

"I don't know what to say, Angie. I feel like such a fool, running out on her like that!" the dark haired woman whined.

"Well, you can start with an apology," Angie suggested, looking at the doubt in Ca.s.s' face. "Look Ca.s.s, if you do nothing, you'll always wonder. Are you willing to live with regret for the rest of your life?" she asked.

Listen to her, Ca.s.s, Enforcer urged. Look, she couldn't possibly have gotten that old without learning a thing or two! the alter ego pointed out.

E, why do you have to be so cra.s.s? she asked herself as she stood there staring at the computer screen, silently contemplating Angie's words.

Oh for Christ's sake woman! Quit your b.i.t.c.hing! Now sit your a.s.s down in the chair and write the G.o.d d.a.m.ned note! Enforcer demanded.

"Ca.s.s?" Angie prompted, a little worried at the trance-like state her friend seemed to be in.

Angie's voice snapped Ca.s.s out of her reverie. "Uh... sorry, Ang, I guess I zoned out there for a minute," she explained, running a hand through her hair. Looking at her friend with near panic in her eyes, she said, "Angie, I don't know what to say to her. I've been such a fool. I never gave her a chance. I don't blame her for being angry with me."

"Well from the sounds of that note, she a little more than angry," Angie deadpanned.

Yeah... you'll never get laid now! Enforcer added her two cents.

"Jesus Christ, will you b.u.t.t out, E?" Ca.s.s said out loud before she could stop herself.

Angie looked at her friend skeptically. "Ca.s.s, maybe you should go back to bed for a while," she suggested.

Brushing off her slip-up, she pulled out the chair in front of the computer and sat down. "No ... No, I think I need to write this note," she said.

"Want some help?" Angie asked.

"Would you mind?" Ca.s.s asked hopefully.

"Not at all, sweetie, not at all," the older woman replied as she pulled a chair up close to Ca.s.s.

Roxanne was standing on her back deck, leaning against the railing, sipping a cup of strong black coffee as she looked out over the ocean. She had been pacing back and forth in front of the computer all morning. For the life of her, she just couldn't concentrate on writing as visions of long dark hair and blue eyes invaded her thoughts on a continuous basis.

Several times that morning, she had checked her e-mail for new messages, hoping that Ca.s.s would respond to her last post. Reading over the copy in her send file for the hundredth time, she once again chastised herself for being so harsh with the other woman. After all, it was SHE who turned and ran away from Ca.s.s at their first meeting. She could only imagine how that must have made Ca.s.s feel. Ca.s.s obviously had no idea that she had mistaken her for a man.

I wonder if I should call her? she thought to herself. No ... she probably won't talk to me anyway, she reasoned. Sighing deeply, she lifted the cup to her lips and drank the last of her coffee before heading back into the house.

The phone rang as she headed for the stairs.

"h.e.l.lo?" she answered.

"Hey Rox! What's up?" came a voice from the other end of the line.

"Hi Nik. Nothing much. Just taking a coffee break," Rox replied.

"What time are you coming over tonight?" Nikki asked.

"Tonight?" Rox said, obviously confused.

"Dinner? Remember? You're supposed to bring your taco dip. h.e.l.llloooo! Is anybody home?" the blonde added teasingly.

"s.h.i.t! I forgot all about it! Yeah ... all right. Ah ... how about 6 p.m.?" Rox sputtered, embarra.s.sed that she had forgotten their dinner date.

"Rox, are you all right?" Nikki asked, picking up on the nervous, hesitant tone in her friend's voice.

"I'm fine, Nikki. Just a little preoccupied," Rox confessed.

"You are bringing Ca.s.s along, right?" Nikki asked.

Silence.

"Rox?" she asked.

"No. She's gone, Nik," Rox admitted before snapping out of her funk.

"What do you mean, she's gone?" Nikki demanded.

"She's gone. I checked on her after we talked... the bed was made ... she left a note apologizing for leaving," she explained.

"Well that bites!" Nikki exclaimed.

"Look, Nikki, maybe it's better this way, you know? I mean, she's a woman, right?" she said defensively.

"And your point is?" Nikki asked incredulously.

"Ah come on Nik! You know what I mean! Man! I hate this love s.h.i.t!" Rox exclaimed.

"Wanna talk about it?" Nikki asked.

"Maybe tonight at dinner ... 'kay? 6 p.m. sharp ... taco dip. I'll be there," the red head said light heartedly.

Nikki was not convinced. "All right Rox, we'll see you at 6 p.m. ... but we're NOT done talking about his, you got that?" she said sternly to the author.

"Got it," answered Rox. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Tonight. Love ya, toots!" Nikki quipped.

"Right back at 'cha, Nik," Rox chuckled. "See ya later, bye." Hanging up the phone, she headed up the stairs and back to work.

"Dear Rox,

I don't know where to start except with an apology for running off like that. It was a stupid and cowardly thing to do. I'm sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You are obviously very angry with me. I wouldn't blame you if you never talked to me again.

Rox, I don't know what came over me. I guess the prospect that you wouldn't love me too never crossed my mind. You have made me see how arrogant I really am. Again, I am sorry.

Please believe me when I say I never intended to deceive you. I automatically a.s.sumed you knew I was a woman. I was totally ignorant to the possibility of mistaken ident.i.ty. I was a fool to have sent that picture of Brian and I. I completely understand how you a.s.sumed that I was Brian. I should have been clearer about things.

Where do we go from here? You said in your note that you need me to help you understand your feelings. I'm not sure I can do that without first understanding them myself. How DO you feel, Rox? You said in one of your notes that you were starting to fall in love with me. Does my being a woman change all that? Should I walk out of your life right now and never bother you again? I am willing to do that if it is what you really want. It will kill me, but I will do it ... for you.

Rox, I still love you with all my heart. I am afraid that I will never love another the way I love you. I want you to know that you can depend on me for anything. Just call, and I will find a way to be by your side.

Again, I am sorry for hurting you. I will never forgive myself for the pain and confusion I have caused. Please forgive me.

I love you,

Ca.s.s"

"How does that sound?" Ca.s.s asked Angie as the older woman scanned the note.

It sounds like you're p.u.s.s.y whipped - BIG TIME! interjected Enforcer.