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"I've heard absolutely nothing indicating he will."
"So ... maybe it's just super formal."
"Maybe." She frowned. "Put that down and change!" She s.n.a.t.c.hed the remains of the scone out of my hand and tossed it into a garbage can.
I did as she told me then sat at the vanity where she did my hair and makeup. She grumbled about the amount of effort it took to hide the dark circles beneath my eyes and the bruise on one cheek from my altercation atop the wall. When she finished, I gazed at myself in the mirror.
"Wow. You can't even tell I got punched," I said. "I look good."
"You'll pa.s.s."
"I'll never be as pretty as you. I know."
She smiled at me in the mirror, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "You're wearing heels."
"Oh, my G.o.ds, Leandra! I can barely walk today!"
"Shut up. I picked them out for you already."
I didn't think the Silent Queen had servants talking to her like this. I sighed and rose, sliding my feet into modestly high platform heels. "Hey, these aren't bad."
"You'll kill yourself in stilettos, but these are st.u.r.dy. Like you."
"You're such a b.i.t.c.h, Leandra!"
She laughed.
I smiled, unable to stay angry with one of the only people I could trust.
"Excuse me." A second servant came to the door and offered a shallow curtsey. "You have a visitor."
At least this one knocked instead of dragging me out of bed. I walked a few steps cautiously then found the shoes steady enough. Limping to my bedroom door, I exited into the hallway and didn't make an attempt to stop the hobbling movement until I was about to enter the foyer.
I paused, already sensing who was present without seeing him. Facing the balcony overlooking the gardens, I saw Adonis at the railing in his normal black SISA uniform, sans mask. His clothing clung to his tall, lean frame, and my eyes drifted down him.
Leandra was frowning again. She trailed me to the double doors but remained there while I approached Adonis. His gaze was on the garden.
The awkwardness of my trip home last night was forefront in my thoughts, despite my attempt to pretend Adonis and Mismatch were two different people. I crossed my arms and stood in the middle of the balcony.
"Mine's not dead," I said in the tense silence. "The garden." G.o.ds, I'm such an idiot. What was it about the man I should want nothing to do with that left me fevered? Stupid beyond normal?
"I don't have minders, either," was his response. "Send her away."
I hated when he told me what to do. But I turned and waved Leandra back. I drew nearer as well, sensing ... something about him that wasn't normal. I leaned against the railing as well and gazed at the flowers below.
"I'm leaving for a while," he said at last.
"To where?"
He glanced at me.
"Not that it's my business. In fact, it's not. Why are you even telling me?" I babbled. "It's not like ..." I care.
Amus.e.m.e.nt lifted the strange darkness in his gaze. He seemed more aware, more present today.
More like Herakles the day I fixed him.
"Something happened to you," I said.
"Yeah. It did."
"I didn't do it this time."
"No. My memories returned. Those from before I met you. From a time too long ago for records to exist and those of the four thousand years I spent as a stone beast before you reanimated me."
"Four thousand. My G.o.ds."
"Yes, the G.o.ds. Only they could devise such a brutal fate." The bitterness in his tone was unmistakable.
"Who were you before?"
He turned over his right wrist, where the faded birthmark of an omega letter was present. "A prince of Greece who fell under a terrible curse."
"The grotesque prince. Your history is amazing."
"It's something." He turned to face me. "But I have to leave to find something I left behind."
"From four thousand years ago?" I arched my eyebrow skeptically. "It won't be sitting where you left it. That's for sure."
"Which is why this might take me a while. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Why are you telling me this? I didn't voice the words this time, afraid of the potentially d.a.m.ning response. "Okay," I said finally, aware he was waiting for me to speak.
"You remember how to contact me if you need help?"
"In case you can't feel my body or something?" I asked then laughed awkwardly.
He gave an almost-smile before closing the distance between us. He reached out to lift the teal gem from its place at the center of my chest. I barely remembered to breathe watching his long, strong fingers caress it.
"Hold it in your fist and think of me," he said.
I met his gaze, fluttery and fevered as usual when he was close enough for me to smell him, and nodded. It was so much more intense dealing with him during daylight than the monster at night.
Leandra would tell me I was slow, but it dawned on me in that moment what was between us. I'd mistaken the tension between a man and woman attracted to one another for the natural connection I shared with Adonis. Part of what I felt was the natural bond, but this was deeper, more intense, less fleeting, than anything I'd ever experienced for the boys at the campground.
I didn't want Adonis to leave because I did care too much.
"I know you're in danger," he continued, oblivious to my thoughts. "But I have to do this. I have to understand who I am ... or was."
"You're on a journey like I've been on," I replied. "I do understand. Were you like ... you now?"
"A butcher?"
I nodded half-heartedly.
"The world was very different then. But yes, I was every bit what I am now. Enslaving or slaughtering entire races of people I defeated in battle. My edge comes from who I am, not what Lantos made me forget."
G.o.ds how his words bothered me! I had never been as confused by one person as I was him, either. An admitted butcher with no remorse yet the capacity for gentleness and kindness.
"Your fists are clenched," he observed quietly. "It's not anger, is it?"
"No." I forced my hands open. "I have no idea what this is."
He studied me, mercifully quiet, even though I suspected we both knew what this was.
"I never expected you to rescue me or help me. I'm finding out I can't expect that of anyone," I said and shifted back onto solid ground.
"No, you can't."
I hated that he agreed with me. He dropped the gem without moving out of my s.p.a.ce and cupped my cheek with his warm palm. Sparks of electricity tickled me from the inside out. I had no real urge to move and began to sink once more into the spell I always did around him. Half amazement, half fear. I'd found the one man who met Herakles' conditions. Not only did Herakles hate him but he was downright scary. I resisted the urge to nuzzle his wide palm, uncertain how to react.
"You have to survive until I return," he warned me. "Do what you must, however bad you feel about it. Lie, kill, steal. Your focus must be on surviving."
What does he know about what's coming? "This isn't how humans give pep talks."
"Survive, Alessandra."
I swallowed hard, overwhelmed by his intensity, and nodded. "I will."
His hand fell away from my face. "I brought you something." He averted his gaze as he said it.
I started to smile curiously. He bent to retrieve a satchel I hadn't noticed leaning against the railing. Wordlessly, Adonis handed it to me and moved back. I opened it and then laughed.
"Mrs. Nettles!" I exclaimed and reached in to pull the squirming animal out of the dark satchel. I hugged her, now fully aware of her connection to me. "I can't believe you kept her all these years!"
Adonis cleared his throat in discomfort. He was as adept with emotion as Herakles was. "Yeah. She can't go with me."
"So are you lending her to me or can I keep her?"
His jaw clenched. I was struggling not to laugh, always tickled when I thought of tough Adonis-Mismatch and his stuffed toy.
"She's yours," he replied curtly.
"Aww. You'll miss her."
He muttered a curse and turned away, striding towards the front door.
"Wait, Adonis!" I called after him.
He stopped without turning. I had no reason to ask him to wait, and I wracked my brain for something that wouldn't leave me yet again humiliated in front of him.
"Thanks," I managed finally. "And safe travels."
"Read the card."
I almost laughed. A card and stuffed animal from the butcher? Mrs. Nettles handed it to me. I opened it, read the names present, and gasped.
"It was all I could take before they locked up the file," he said.
"These are ... my parents."
"Yes."
Emotion jammed my ability to speak. I stared at him in surprise for a long moment then at the names on the card.
"You're coming back, aren't you?" I asked at last.
"Your name is seared into my soul. I will always return to you."
My breath caught. "That's ..." ... the most incredible thing I've ever heard. "... uh ... good." I became the stupidest person on the planet when he looked at me like that. Warmth bloomed within me beneath his intensity, leaving me fevered and speechless and oh-so-aware of the significance of this meeting. I no longer had to doubt his intentions, his loyalty. Him.
He tilted his head, his lips turning up in a half smile. He was feeling what I did, the fire in my blood, the furnace at my lower belly. Humiliated did not begin to describe what it was like knowing he was so intimately connected to me.
"Survive," he said softly one last time. He walked out, and the front door closed behind him.
Mismatch, Mrs. Nettles said, watching him retreat.
I bit back tears. Why did it feel like he was never coming back? "It's ... okay. He'll be back." Or ... something. I didn't know why I wanted it to be true. "Let's show you your new home." With a deep breath, I tucked the card inside my bra for safekeeping, repeating their names over and over as I walked with her towards the bedroom.
Leandra was waiting inside and stopped in her pacing to stare. "What ..."
I smiled and introduced them, explaining how I'd brought Mrs. Nettles to life when I was little. Leandra picked her up and studied her before placing her on the bed. "Did that a.s.shole make you cry?" she asked, returning to me.
"No."
She waited for more.
I didn't know what to say about Adonis, but it wasn't anything bad. His thoughtfulness was beyond that of anyone I'd ever known.
"You're almost late." Leandra s.n.a.t.c.hed a handbag from the table near the door.
I did my best to stop thinking of Adonis and focus on what happened today. "Ugh." I waved at Mrs. Nettles, who waved back.
"Your escort is waiting. The Magistrate said only you are to come because of the level of those attending." Leandra handed me my knife and said again, "I don't like it."
I strapped it on my good thigh as we walked towards the foyer. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Too many people are watching me for him to act. Right?"
"You are way too trusting."