Oklahoma Sunshine Part 24

The fellow who starts out to do the greatest good to the greatest number, generally concludes that the greatest number is No. 1.

Amid the thunder and the crash of worlds, the chief question after all is how to get the most bread and b.u.t.ter with the least hard work.

Better Hide Out.

Mockin' bird up yander, Singin' in de trees, Clean fohgit it's wintah, An' de time toh fieeze!

Bettah hide out, Mistah, 'Foh yuh stahve to def!

Wintah's gwine toh git yuh Foh yub ketch yoh bref!

Though the world of care and the griefs that cry May burden the years with a sob and sigh, Yet with one true heart and a hand that stays There's a rose for the snows of the wintry days!

Caught on the Fly.

A little laughter, a little love and something of tears, and then the curtain falls on the great drama of this life.

No doubt, Adam had many bad habits, but he never walked about with hands in his pockets until after Eve started the first tailor shop.

Some men's consciences are so worthless that if put up and sold to the highest bidder, the auctioneer would have to call off the sale.

Thanksgiving Hymn.

Dear Lord, for all the joyous days Thy loving hands to us have told We thank thee humbly, and we praise Thy wondrous mercies manifold!

We thank thee for thy gifts of love, Thy blessed benisons of good, For all thy mercies born above, And every fond beat.i.tude.

For all the blessings thou hast sent,-- For paths that led us far from wrong,-- For holy joys and sweet content, We praise thee with our hearts of song.

From thy rich treasuries above Thy freest bounties full have come To swell the laughters of our love Around the happy hearths of home.

The fields have borne abundant store; The roses and the lilies white Have crowned the prairies and the sh.o.r.e With raptures of their love and light.

The orchards bend with fruitage tall, And plenty rules from sea to sea, And at the Harvest Home we call, Dear Lord, in thankfulness to thee!

Through mingled ways of shine and shade Thou hast our foot-steps guided far, And all our pilgrimages made Glad journeys under sun and star.

Our sacrifice, O Lord, we bring!

Thou hast sufficed for every need; Bless thou the meager offering Of vagrant heart, imperfect deed!

And be our Keeper through the night, And through the long years of our quest, Till thou shalt welcome to delight And lead us in the ways of rest!

Duly Thankful.

"Lawd, we am mighty thankful foh all dat we hab receibed fum thy bounteefu' han's!" prayed the reverent darkey; "en above all, we am thankful dat de sheriff nebber got erroun' to take de ole mule erway 'foh de cotton crop got tended to!"

"When Pa Puts Up the Stove."

'Long in the fall when it gits cold An' Ma takes on the shakes, Then Ma at Pa will talk an' scold, "The kids'll freeze, my sakes!"

Then Pa he ties a aprun on An' mittens double wove, An' we kids know we'll have some fun When Pa puts up the stove!

He grabs the pipe he laid away There in the attic high, An' jumps aroun' jes' lively! Say, My Pa is orful spry!

He dumps the soot upon the stairs, An' gits blacked like a cove, An' what he talks ain't sayin' prayers When Pa puts up the stove!

He cuts his fingers some, an' grows All black an' white in turn, An' that bald place his old head knows Gits red ernough to burn; An' when we laugh, he snaps his eyes No matter where we rove,-- An' say! Ma gits so mad she cries When Pa puts up the stove!

An' Ma she jaws erround an says He hain't no sense, an' we Hide out behind the barn a-ways To miss the jamboree.

I tell ye, fellers, they're a sight!

No picnic ever throve Such as we have of love an' light When Pa puts up the stove!

His Platform.

"My opponents are running on various platforms," said the ambitious candidate, "but none of them promise you full relief from the evils that beset you. None of them reach down into your hearts and search out your wants and comprehend the good measures that will bring relief." And he paused for a moment, in order that the full import of his language might sink deep into the hearts of the mighty throng before him. "I favor," he continued, extending his right arm toward heaven in an impressive gesture: "I favor pensions for all the republicans, offices for all the democrats, free pa.s.ses on the railroads for all the n.i.g.g.e.rs, the whole earth for the socialists and the five oceans of water for the prohibitionists!"

And then the delighted crowd went wild with applause.

The Meal Ticket Man.

(Suggested by John Golobie's recent article, "The Apotheosis of the Meal Ticket Man")