Oh! Susannah! Part 20

CURTAIN.

ACT III.

Scene.--The same as Acts I and II.

_(Doctor discovered alone, in frock coat and pyjama trousers, and just going to knock at bath-room door.)_

Doctor. _(hand up, listening)_ I must apologize to her! No, I simply daren't, _(comes down C.)_ It was such an awful thing to do, I'll--I'll wait till Flo comes out to--to tell me how she is. _(listens)_ No, I can't. I know! I'll go to her in my professional capacity! _(puts on high hat, and does to door, just going to knock, looks at pyjamas)_ I can't go in these. Where are my trousers? _(looks round)_ Of course, in there! _(points to bathroom)_ I know! I'll go to ask for my trousers! _(same Bus.--about to knock)_ No that's a silly idea! I'm losing my wits, _(comes down C. and sits at writing table)_ Suppose something happens to her? There'll be an inquest, and it'll be all in the papers: "Brutal Conduct of a West End Doctor.." Oh, my cup of misery is full!

_(Enter Aurora with telegram.)_

Aurora. _(to Doctor)_ Here you are, doctor--a telegram for you, sir. We are busy to-day!

Doctor. _(opens telegram, starts, aside)_ From my father-in-law.

_(reads to himself)_ "Have learnt from local registrar your cowardly conduct in eloping with my daughter--am on my way to London to horsewhip you."

Aurora. _(cheerily)_ Any answer, sir? _(C.)_

Doctor. _(gloomily)_ No! It's nothing--only an appointment--I shan't keep it.

Aurora. Don't look so sad, sir.

_(Music upstairs heard off, some appropriate music-hall tune.)_

You go h'upstairs to the tea-fight. 'Ere's yer invite. _(takes card off mantel)_ There's plenty to eat and drink and nothin' to pay; you done quite enough work for one day, sir.

Doctor. Quite!

_(Bath-room bell rings.)_

Aurora. _(mystified)_ That's your bath-room bell a-ringing, sir.

Doctor. _(funereally)_ Yes! Answer it.

Aurora. _(hesitating)_ Who's inside, sir?

Doctor. Two ladies.

Aurora. Two of 'em--oh, doctor!

_(Enter Flo, from bath-room, with bundle of Aunt's clothes, dripping wet.)_

Doctor. _(penitently)_ My dear Flo, let me help you!

Flora. _(indignantly to Doctor)_ Don't touch me! I wonder you aren't ashamed to. This is your work! _(crosses to Aurora quietly)_ Take these, and dry them as quickly as possible!

Doctor. Flo! My darling, won't you give me one word?

Flora. Brute!

_(Exit Flo. into bathroom, banging door after her.)_

Doctor. Got it!

Aurora. Oh, sir, what 'ave you been a-doin' of?

Doctor. Don't ask silly questions. Do as you're told. I don't know what it is, but do it!

Aurora. _(aside)_ If the missus sees these she'll turn the dear doctor into the street. I know she will! But she shan't see 'em, if I can 'elp it. _(hugs them closely)_ It's all for 'im! Oh, ain't they wet, but they can't squelch the flame that's burnin'

'ere for the dear doctor. _(coming down)_ I must tell him, I must! _(throws wet clothes down on stage)_

Mrs. O'H. _(heard off)_ H'Aurora!

Aurora. Yus, mum! _(hides clothes behind her)_

_(Enter Mrs. O'Hara.)_

Mrs. O'H. 'Ow dare you wait on lodgers as can't pay their rint?

_(by sofa)_ Go h'upstairs and wait on my lady friends.

_(Exit Aurora.)_

_(leans on back of sofa, to Doctor)_ Pardon me for callin' when you're so busy, _(with sarcasm)_

Doctor. _(absent-minded)_ Don't mention it. Won't you sit down?

Now, what can I--oh, it's the landlady!

Mrs. O'H. Quite a _stream_ of patients!

Doctor. _(absently)_ Oh, yes! Flowing in--simply flowing in!

Mrs. O'H. I'm glad to 'ear it. If a man can't h'earn a honest livin' at your time of life, 'e may as lief--_(hiccough)_--drown 'isself.

Doctor. _(aside)_ "Drown"--the water-cure--_my_ cure!

Mrs. O'H. I needn't remind you as it's Lady Day.

Doctor. _(picking up pile of bills)_ No, I've been reminded, but I'm afraid I must trouble you to wait.

Mrs. O'H. _Ho, of course!_ The pore lone widder must always wait.

Doctor. I wish the lone widder would go to the devil!

Mrs. O'H. As I was just remargin' to Widder Smith, as is honnering my party h'upstairs--