Off Screen: Waiting In The Wings Part 6

"You're kidding? I would have thought you'd have called her as soon as you found out you were preggers."

"It was an interesting weekend. I just sort of wanted to spend it with Addy."

Tamara nodded. "Emma?"

"I just wish I could tell her in person is all."

"Missing home?"

"Missing Mom," Emma said. "It's kind of strange. I was with her when I found out the sprout was on her way," she explained and leaned down to kiss her daughter's head. "There's something about being a mom that makes me want my mom," she explained. "G.o.d, that sounds ridiculous."

"Nah. I don't think so."

Emma smiled. "It makes me understand Addy more."

"Come again?"

"Well, I'm sure she wishes she had someone to call and tell the news to; you know what I mean?" Emma asked.

"Mm. Never really thought about that. Well, Daddy Dearest does love Sprout. So, I'm sure he will be happy."

"Yes, he does," Emma agreed. "But, he doesn't always show that with Addy."

"Look, Emma, I know I'm not qualified to give any advice in this area, but maybe you should think about inviting him here to visit again."

"Adam?"

"Yeah. I hate to admit it, but maybe it would help Addy."

"I don't know. He balks at coming to the west coast every time we mention it as a possibility."

"What about to your parents' place?"

Emma thought for a moment. "I invited him for the holidays a couple of times."

"Yeah, but that was before you were preggers again."

"Such a poet," Emma teased. "I don't know. What purpose would I invite him there for?"

"Sprout's birthday?" Tamara suggested.

Vicki's birthday was coming fast. Emma hadn't considered taking a trip home for the occasion. "I don't know, Tam. If Addison takes on this project, she might not have a lot of free time."

"So? She can fly out for a weekend. Seriously, Emma, think about what you told me. Maybe it'd be good for you if she does start working on something again."

"Me going to Kansas?"

"Not like moving there. Like, maybe visiting for a couple of weeks. Let Addy do her thing and then come visit. See if you can get Grandpa to come. Who knows? Maybe it'd help them both. And, who knows? Maybe Addy would realize she's not going to make anything bad happen by doing what she loves. Besides, you miss your mom. It might be good for you too."

"Maybe," Emma sighed.

"Hey, listen, Addy will be okay," Tamara a.s.sured Emma. "You know her; it just takes her a little time to wake up and smell the coffee sometimes. Just like when she met you."

"What do you mean?"

Tamara laughed. "Oh, please... Addy was all we're just friends.' You know? She's my friend.' Friend, friend, friend," Tamara rolled her eyes. "The whole time she was moping around like a lost puppy."

Emma smiled. She'd done her share of denying that anything more than friendship had existed between her and Addison when they had met. And, she'd seen Addison's puppy dog eyes more than a few times over the years. "Puppy, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, good," Emma commented. "Since I already have a puppy, we don't need to get a dog."

Tamara laughed. "You've lost it, Em."

Emma nodded. "Maybe so."

"So? Do I get fed now?" Tamara asked.

Emma placed Vicki on the ground and took her hand. "Sure. You drive; I'll buy."

"What? I thought you were cooking?" Tamara's disappointment was evident.

"Chuck E. Cheese," Emma replied.

Tamara hopped from her seat and swept Vicki up onto her hip. "Come on, Sprout! I'm driving."

Emma laughed as Tamara hurried back through the house. "Works every time."

Chapter Four.

Two Months Later Addison rubbed her eyes and groaned. It had been a long day that had followed an even longer week. She hated being separated from Emma. It wasn't as if they had never been apart. Emma had pointed that out numerous times when she had started planning her trip to Kansas. Addison had raised various arguments against the idea. None of them had managed to deter Emma's plans. Addison had even slept on the couch one night, frustrated by Emma's insistence that a trip home would be good for both of them. Even that had not swayed her wife.

"This sucks," Addison mumbled. She stared at the phone on her desk and rubbed her eyes again. "s.h.i.t." Addison picked up her cell phone and dialed the number.

"How are you feeling?" Sherry Bronson asked her daughter.

"Pretty good," Emma replied.

"Missing her, huh?" Sherry guessed.

Emma smiled. She did miss Addison. And, the fact that Addison had been less than receptive to this excursion was making that feeling worse. "I always miss her," Emma replied.

"Emmie? Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Nice try. I raised you. You didn't want to go with your father and Vicki to the pond...."

"I just thought a little one on one time would be nice for her and Grandpa."

"Oh, well, that's probably true, and I am sure your father appreciates it," Sherry said. Emma smiled. "Mm-hm. But, you hardly ate last night, and you have been less than talkative since you got here. So? What's wrong? Are you worried about Adam visiting?"

Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No, not really. I mean, it's always tense when Addy is with her father. It's not like it is here, Mom."

"Yes, I know, but you will all be here this time, so you will all have a lot of support."

"I hope so," Emma replied.

"Okay? So, what is it? You were on a mission planning this birthday party for Vicki. She's three, honey. As much as I know she will love it, she won't remember any of it."

"No, but we will. Addy will."

Sherry took a sip from her coffee and studied Emma thoughtfully. Emma was holding something back. Sherry could feel it. She'd tried the cautious approach. Emma was spinning her mug around and around, never lifting it to her lips. Sherry decided directness was the best approach. "Are you and Addison having problems?"

"What?" Emma's head snapped to attention. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't think anything," Sherry said. "I do know you, and something is bothering you. So?"

"No, Mom. It's nothing like that. You know how Addy can be."

"No, I don't. How can she be?"

"She worries all the time about us."

"You mean she worries about your relationship?"

"No, but she worries that something might happen, I think."

"Emma," Sherry began with a sigh. "What are you talking about?"

Emma closed her eyes and shook her head. "I think she's afraid that if she doesn't stick close to me, if she doesn't keep us on the exact same path... Well, that something will take me away-take us away from her."

Sherry's gaze narrowed in consideration of Emma's words. She found it difficult to believe that Addison would question Emma's devotion to their marriage. "I'm not sure I'm following."

Emma smiled. "I'm not explaining this all that well."

"I don't know what this is," Sherry reminded Emma.

Emma nodded. "Mom? When Daddy had his heart attack, what went through your head?"

Emma's question stunned Sherry.

"What did you feel?" Emma asked.

"Terrified," Sherry replied. "Sick inside," she continued.

Emma nodded. She'd felt the same things. "What about when they told you he would be okay?"

"Relieved," Sherry replied. "I don't understand what this has to do with you and Addison."

"Well, I remember that neither of us wanted him to be alone at all. Remember when he wanted to go fishing and Addison took him?"

Sherry nodded. "I do. I was afraid that if I stepped out something would happen."

Emma smiled. "That's what Addy's worried about."

"Emma, you aren't sick; you're pregnant. Why would Addy be worried about you?"

"Her mom."

"Her mom?"

"Yeah, I know this will sound nuts, but I think Addison has some idea that if she chooses to do something that I am not a part of; if she steps away from me in that way, somehow that will start some prophecy that takes me away from her. I think, Mom, that Addy, in some way, thinks that it's because of her that her mother died."

Sherry remained silent for a few moments and then nodded sadly. "Oh, Addison," she whispered.

"I know," Emma commented.

"Well, that would explain a lot of things. Just curious? Why this trip then?"

"Because she needs to know it's not all doom and gloom," Emma replied. "I know she used to miss me when I would have to travel without her, but since Vicki... Well, she has been home. You know what I mean? It's been a few years without us spending much time apart, at least, not days or weeks. And, we've always been a part of what the other was doing in some way. It's all of it."

"Did Addison tell you this?"

"No. No, she wouldn't tell me. I didn't think about it until she wanted to start this project. I know she was disappointed that I didn't want to get back into it. What I didn't expect to see was the fear in her eyes."

Sherry reached across the table and squeezed Emma's hand. "That's why you invited Adam.

"Partly. Only partly," Emma said. "They do love each other. I just wish they could break through all that guilt. For a long time, I thought it was just Adam avoiding Addy. But, sometimes I can see the distance she places between them too. It's like they both feel responsible somehow for the other's sadness. The craziest part is that they miss each other so much."

"I think I understand," Sherry replied. "You know, when your Grandma Bronson died, your father shut down for over a year," she said. Emma looked at her mother curiously. "It's true. He was lost. She was his lifeline in many ways. Your grandfather-G.o.d rest his soul-was not an easy man."

"I know," Emma commented.

Emma had always known her grandparents as nurturing, affectionate people. She had learned in recent years that the demeanor they displayed with their grandchildren differed substantially from the way that they had raised their children. It had surprised her a bit. After taking some time to process it, Emma had begun to recognize the ghosts in her father's eyes. He had changed over the years as well, softened, Emma would say. Grandchildren seemed to have a unique ability to do that.

"Shut down in what way?" Emma asked.