Observations on the Mussulmauns of India Part 23

[17] The shaddock (_Citrus dec.u.mana_) is called _chakoira_; possibly confused with the next.

[18] _Kharbuzah, Cuc.u.mis melo_.

[19] _Ananas, Anana.s.sa saliva_.

[20] Guava.

[21] _Sharifah, Anona squamosa_.

[22] _Kamrak, Averrhoa Carambola_.

[23] _Jamun, jaman, Eugenia Jambolana_.

[24] _Am, Mangifera indica_.

[25] _Falsa, phalsa, Greuria asiatica_.

[26] _Kirni, Canthium parviflorum_.

[27] _Ber, Zizyphus Jujuba_.

[28] _Lichi, Nephelium Lichi_.

[29] Possibly some confusion between _um_, the mango, and _alu, aru_, the peach.

[30] _Karaunda, Carissa Carandas_.

LETTER XIV

Wedding ceremonies of the Mussulmauns.--The new or full moon propitious to the rites being concluded.--Marriage settlements unknown.--Control of the wife over her own property.--Three days and nights occupied in celebrating the wedding.--Preparations previously made by both families.--Ostentatious display on those occasions.--Day of Sarchuck.--Customs on the day of Mayndhie.--Sending presents.--Day of Baarraat.--Procession of the bridegroom to fetch the bride.--The bride's departure to her new home.--Attendant ceremonies explained.--Similarity of the Mussulmaun and Hindu ceremonies.--Anecdote of a Moollah.--Tying the Narrah to the Moosul.

When the young lady's family have made all the necessary arrangements for that important event (their daughter's nuptials), notice is sent to the friends of the intended bridegroom, and the gentlemen of both families meet to settle on what day the celebration is to take place. They are guided in the final arrangement by the state of the moon--the new or full moon has the preference; she must, however, be clear of Scorpio, which, as I have before stated, they consider the unfortunate sign.[1] There are some moons in the year considered very unpropitious to marry in. At Mahurrum, for instance, no emergency as to time or circ.u.mstance would induce the female party to consent to the marriage solemnities taking place. In Rumzaun they have scruples, though not equal to those which they entertain against fulfilling the contract in Mahurrum, the month of mourning.

Marriage settlements are not known in Mussulmaun society. All contracts are made by word of mouth; and to their credit, honourable reliance is usually followed by honourable fulfilment of agreements. The husband is expected to be satisfied with whatever portion of his wife's fortune the friends may deem consistent or prudent to grant with their daughter. The wife is at liberty to keep under her own control any separate sum or allowance her parents may be pleased to give her, over and above the marriage portion granted to the husband with his wife.[2]

The husband rarely knows the value of his wife's private property unless, as sometimes happens, the couple in after years have perfect confidence in each other, and make no separate interests in worldly matters.

Occasionally, when the married couple have not lived happily together, the wife has been known to bury her cash secretly; and perhaps she may die without disclosing the secret of her treasure to any one.

In India the practice of burying treasure is very common with females, particularly in villages, or where there are fears entertained of robbers.

There is no difficulty in burying cash or other treasure, where the ground floors of the houses are merely beaten earth--boarded floors, indeed, are never seen in Hindoostaun--in the houses of the first cla.s.ses of Natives they sometimes have them bricked and plastered, or paved with marble.

During the rainy season I have sometimes observed the wooden tuckht[3] (a portable platform) in use with aged or delicate females, on which they make their seats from fear of the damp from the mud floor; but they complain that these accommodations are not half so comfortable as their ordinary seat.

The division of personal property between married people has the effect of rendering the wife much more independent than the married lady of other countries. The plan is a judicious one in the existing state of Mussulmaun society, for since the husband could at his pleasure add other wives, the whole property of the first wife might be squandered on these additions.

In the middling cla.s.ses of society, and where the husband is a religious person, this division of property is not so strictly maintained; yet every wife has the privilege, if she chooses to exercise it, of keeping a private purse, which the good wife will produce unasked to meet her husband's emergencies; and which the good husband is never known to demand, however great may be his necessities. There are many traits of character in the Mussulmaun world that render them both amiable and happy, wherever politeness of behaviour is brought to bear. I have seen some bright examples of forbearance and affectionate solicitude in both s.e.xes, which would do honour to the most refined societies of the civilized world.

The marriage ceremony occupies three days and nights:--The first is called, Sarchuck;[4] the second, Mayndhie;[5] and the third, Baarraat,[6] (fate or destiny is the meaning of this word).

I am not aware that three days are required to accomplish the nuptials of the young couple in any other society of Mussulmauns distinct from those of Hindoostaun. Judging by similar usages among the Hindoo population, I am rather disposed to conjecture that this is one of the customs of the aborigines, imitated by the invaders, as the outward parade and publicity given to the event by the Mussulmauns greatly resemble those of the surrounding Hindoos.

There are no licences granted, nor any form of registry kept of marriages.

Any person who is acquainted with the Khoraun may read the marriage ceremony, in the presence of witnesses if it be possible; but they usually employ a professed Moollah or Maulvee, in consideration of such persons being the most righteous in their lives; for they make this engagement a religious, as well as a civil contract.[7]

The day being fixed, the elders, male and female, of the two families, invite their several relatives, friends, and acquaintances to a.s.semble, according to their means and convenience for entertaining visitors. The invitations are written in the Persian character on red paper, describing the particular event which they are expected to honour. During the week previous to Sarchuck, both families are busily engaged in sending round to their several friends trays of ready-cooked dinners. Rich and poor share equally on these occasions; the reason a.s.signed for which is, that the persons' nuptials may be registered in the minds of those who partake of the food, who in the course of time, might otherwise forget that they had ever heard of the young couple's nuptials.

The mother of Bohue Begum actively employed the intervening time, in finishing her preparations for the young lady's departure from the parental roof with suitable articles, which might prove the bride was not sent forth to her new family without a proper provision. There is certainly too much ostentation evinced on these occasions; but custom, prided custom, bids defiance to every better argument; and thus the mother, full of solicitude that her daughter should carry with her evident marks of parental affection, and be able to sustain her rank in life, loads her child with a profusion of worldly goods. The poorest people, in this instance, imitate their superiors with a blameable disregard to consequences. Many parents among the lower orders incur heavy debts to enable them to make a parade at their children's wedding, which proves a source of misery to themselves as long as they live.

It may be presumed the Sumdun Begum prepared more suits of finery than her daughter could wear out for years. A silver bedstead with the necessary furniture, as before described; a silver p.a.w.n-dawn,[8] round, and shaped very like a modern spice-box in England; a silver chillumchee[9]

(wash-hand basin), and lota (water-jug with a spout, nearly resembling an old-fashioned coffee-pot); a silver luggun[10] (spittoon); silver surraie[11] (water-bottle); silver basins for water; several dozens of copper saucepans, plates and spoons for cooking; dishes, plates, and platters in all variety needful for the house, of metal or of stone. China or gla.s.s is rarely amongst the bride's portion, the only articles of gla.s.s I remember to have seen was the looking-gla.s.s for the bride's toilette, and that was framed and cased in pure silver. Stone dishes are a curious and expensive article, brought from Persia and Arabia, of a greenish colour, highly polished; the Natives call them racaab-puttie,[12] and prefer them to silver at their meals, having an idea that poisoned food would break them; and he who should live in fear of such a calamity, feels secure that the food is pure when the dish of this rare stone is placed before him perfect.

Amongst the various articles sent with the bride to her new home is the much prized musnud, cushions and carpet to correspond; shutteringhies, and calico carpets, together with the most minute article used in Native houses, whether for the kitchen, or for the accommodation of the young lady in her apartments; all these are conveyed in the lady's train when she leaves her father's house to enter that of her husband. I am afraid my descriptions will be deemed tediously particular, so apt are we to take the contagion of example from those we a.s.sociate with; and as things unimportant in other societies are made of so much consequence to these people, I am in danger of giving to trifles more importance than may be agreeable to my readers.

On the day of Sarchuck the zeenahnahs of both houses are completely filled with visitors of all grades, from the wives and mothers of n.o.blemen, down to the humblest acquaintance of the family. To do honour to the hostess, the guests appear in their best attire and most valuable ornaments.

A wedding in the family of a respectable Mussulmaun is very often the medium of reconciling long standing estrangements between friends. Human nature has the same failings in every climate; there will be some who entertain jealousies and envyings in all societies, but a wedding with these people is a perfect peace-maker, since none of the invited can consistently stay away; and in such an a.s.sembly, where is the evil mind to disturb harmony, or recur to past grievances?

The day of Sarchuck is the first time the young lady receives the appellation of Dullun,[13] at which time also the bridegroom is designated Dullha.[14] Dullun is kept in strict confinement, in a dark room or closet, during the whole three days' merriment going forward under the parental roof; whilst the bridegroom is the most prominent person in the a.s.sembly of the males, where amus.e.m.e.nts are contrived to please and divert him, the whole party vieing in personal attentions to him. The ladies are occupied in conversation and merriment, and amused with the native songs and music of the dominie, smoking the hookha, eating p.a.w.n, dinner, &c. Company is their delight, and time pa.s.ses pleasantly with them in such an a.s.sembly.

The second day, Mayndhie, is one of bustle and preparation in the Sumdun Begum's department; it is spent in arranging the various articles that are to accompany the bride's Mayndhie, which is forwarded in the evening to the bridegroom with great parade.

It is so well known that I need hardly mention the fact, that the herb mayndhie[15] is in general request amongst the natives of India, for the purpose of dyeing the hands and feet; it is considered by them an indispensable article to their comfort, keeping those members cool and a great ornament to the person.

Long established custom obliges the bride to send mayndhie on the second night of the nuptials to the bridegroom; and, to make the event more conspicuous, presents proportioned to the means of the party accompany the trays of prepared mayndhie.

The female friends of the bride's family attend the Mayndhie procession in covered conveyances, and the male guests on horses, elephants, and in palkies; trains of soldiers, servants, and bands of music swell the procession (among people of distinction) to a magnitude inconceivable to those who have not visited the Native cities of Hindoostaun, or witnessed the parade of a marriage ceremony.

Amongst the bride's presents with mayndhie, may be noticed every thing requisite for a full-dress suit for the bridegroom, and the etceteras of his toilette; confectionery, dried fruits, preserves, the prepared p.a.w.ns, and a mult.i.tude of trifles too tedious to enumerate, but which are nevertheless esteemed luxuries with the Native young people, and are considered essential to the occasion. One thing I must not omit, the sugar-candy, which forms the source of amus.e.m.e.nt when the bridegroom is under the dominion of the females in his mother's zeenahnah. The artush bajie,[16] (fireworks) sent with the presents, are concealed in flowers formed of the transparent uberuck:[17] these flowers are set out in frames, called chumund,[18] and represent beds of flowers in their varied forms and colours; these in their number and gay appearance have a pretty effect in the procession, interspersed with the trays containing the dresses, &c.

All the trays are first covered with basket-work raised in domes, and over these are thrown draperies of broadcloth, gold-cloth, and brocade, neatly fringed in bright colours.

The Mayndhie procession having reached the bridegroom's house, bustle and excitement pervade through every department of the mansion. The gentlemen are introduced to the father's hall; the ladies to the youth's mother, who in all possible state is prepared to receive the bride's friends.

The interior of a zeenahnah has been already described; the ladies crowd into the centre hall to witness, through the blinds of bamboo, the important process of dressing the young bridegroom in his bride's presents.

The centre purdah is let down, in which are openings to admit the hands and feet; and close to this purdah a low stool is placed. When all these preliminary preparations are made, and the ladies securely under cover, notice is sent to the male a.s.sembly that, 'Dullha is wanted'; and he then enters the zeenahnah court-yard, amidst the deafening sounds of trumpets and drums from without, and a serenade from the female singers within. He seats himself on the stool placed for him close to the purdah, and obeys the several commands he receives from the hidden females, with childlike docility. The moist mayndhie is then tied on with bandages by hands he cannot see, and, if time admits, one hour is requisite to fix the dye bright and permanent on the hands and feet. During this delay, the hour is pa.s.sed in lively dialogues with the several purdahed dames, who have all the advantage of seeing though themselves unseen; the singers occasionally lauding his praise in extempore strains, after describing the loveliness of his bride, (whom they know nothing about), and foretelling the happiness which awaits him in his marriage, but which, in the lottery, may perhaps prove a blank. The sugar-candy, broken into small lumps, is presented by the ladies whilst his hands and feet are fast bound in the bandages of mayndhie; but as he cannot help himself, and it is an omen of good to eat the bride's sweets at this ceremony, they are sure he will try to catch the morsels which they present to his mouth and then draw back, teasing the youth with their banterings, until at last he may successfully snap at the candy, and seize the fingers also with the dainty, to the general amus.e.m.e.nt of the whole party and the youth's entire satisfaction.

The mayndhie supposed to have done its duty, the bandages are removed; his old unnah,[19] the nurse of his infancy (always retained for life), a.s.sists him with water to wash off the leaves, dries his feet and hands, rubs him with otta,[20] robes him in his bride's presents, and ornaments him with the guinah. Thus attired he takes leave of his tormentors, sends respectful messages to his bride's family, and bows his way from their guardianship to the male apartment, where he is greeted by a flourish of trumpets and the congratulations of the guests, many of whom present nuzzas and embrace him cordially.

The dinner is introduced at twelve amongst the bridegroom's guests, and the night pa.s.sed in good-humoured conviviality, although the strongest beverage at the feast consists of sugar and water sherbet. The dancing-women's performances, the display of fireworks, the dinner, p.a.w.n, and hookha, form the chief amus.e.m.e.nts of the night, and they break up only when the dawn of morning approaches.

The bride's female friends take sherbet and p.a.w.n after the bridegroom's departure from the zeenahnah, after which they hasten away to the bride's a.s.sembly, to detail the whole business of their mission.

I have often heard the ladies complain, that the time hangs very heavy on their hands whilst the party have gone to perform Mayndhie, until the good ladies return with their budget of particulars. Hundreds of questions are then put to them by the inquisitive dames, how the procession pa.s.sed off?--whether accident or adventure befel them on the march?--what remarks were made on the bride's gifts?---but most of all they want to know, how the bridegroom looked, and how he behaved under their hands? The events of the evening take up the night in detailing, with the occasional interruptions of dinner, p.a.w.n, and sherbet; and so well are they amused, that they seldom feel disposed to sleep until the crowing of the c.o.c.k warns them that the night has escaped with their diversified amus.e.m.e.nts.

The eventful Baarraat arrives to awaken in the heart of a tender mother all the good feelings of fond affection; she is, perhaps, about to part with the great solace of her life under many domestic trials; at any rate, she transfers her beloved child to another protection. All marriages are not equally happy in their termination; it is a lottery, a fate, in the good mother's calculation. Her darling child may be the favoured of Heaven for which she prays; she may be, however, the miserable first wife of a licentious pluralist; nothing is certain, but she will strive to trust in G.o.d's mercy, that the event prove a happy one to her dearly-loved girl.

I have said the young bride is in close confinement during the days of celebrating her nuptials; on the third she is tormented with the preparations for her departure. The mayndhie must be applied to her hands and feet, the formidable operations of bathing, drying her hair, oiling and dressing her head, dyeing her lips, gums, and teeth with antimony, fixing on her the wedding ornaments, the nut (nose-ring) presented by her husband's family: the many rings to be placed on her fingers and toes, the rings fixed in her ears, are all so many new trials to her, which though a complication of inconveniences, she cannot venture to murmur at, and therefore submits to with the pa.s.sive meekness of a lamb.