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Chapter 30
In the hospital, the doctor put Ye Zhengchen on the a saline drip. I went after the doctor and asked him, “ How is he? Is his life in danger?” “ No. He will be ok. You should go outside and wait..” I was relieved. Sitting outside, I rubbed the swelling in my ankle. Brother Feng followed me out. He wiped the sweat on his forehead.
“When two people are together, its normal to fight. But how did it get so serious?” I did not speak, I had no words to express my thoughts. Brother Feng was angry He kept pacing around in a circle. “ You .. I have never seen such a hard hearted woman in my life. Even if he has made a mistake, can’t you forgive him?” My mind was a mess. As I thought of what he said, I couldn’t help admire Brother Feng’s reasoning ability. Just by seeing this scene, he knew that there was something strange going on between me and Ye Zhencgchen, and he had guessed that I couldn’t forgive him for what he had done. The men studying Science and Engineering had really powerful abilities of logical reasoning! Seeing that I was silent, Brother Feng sat next to me. “Think about it.If I hadn’t looked for him today, if he really died…would you not regret it?” “ Don’t even say it.” I would not regret it. If Ye Zhengchen had died in my arms, I would have jumped out with him in my arms.. I really didn’t realise he would behave this way. He didn’t look so sensitive from outside. “ Oh!” Brother Feng sighed and handed me a tissue. “ I don’t know what happened to the two of you , but I know he is the right man for you..” When Ye Zhengchen woke up and saw me next to me, his mouth curved into a smile. Slowly, he reached out his hand towards me I put my hand under the bed and told him to take it easy “Please don’t pull such a silly stunt again.” He said, “I didn’t set out to do anything silly. It’s just that I wanted to be by myself. I didn’t feel like going out or meeting anyone or doing anything.” I said, “Ok. Then I’ll leave now. You rest properly.” As I stood up, he used the arm which was attached to the drip to hold my wrist. There was hardly any strength in his grip, but even with that weak grip, my calm att.i.tude was disintegrating. “ I’ll speak to Yu Yin and ask her to come here.” He removed his hand and smiled bitterly “ Ok. If you want to leave, leave.” I did want to leave. But my feet were stuck to the ground and I was unable to move. He asked, “ Do you know how it feels to lose your freedom?” “I don’t” “ I don’t remember when I became a person living in a prison… not to escape reality, but locked inside..” My interest was piqued so I sat down again. He told me that he was a man who had always been free till one day he was locked inside an iron cage. If they asked him to stand, he could not sit down; if they asked him to sit, he could not stand. Not only were his actions dictated by others, what he thought was also subject to all restrictions. No matter what they asked him to do, he can only choose to obey. He had no right to say “No”. As far as he was concerned, Yu Yin was another lock to keep him in prison. He asked me, “ Can anyone have any positive feelings for the chain that keeps him imprisoned?” I said, “ I don’t know.” He said, “ He will not. He will try his best to remove the chain.” He didn’t want much, only his personal freedom. He could no longer bear this prolonged confinement. Many times he had tried to break the iron cover entrapping him, but he could not. “ Why can’t you ?”I asked him. “For duty, for..” He didn’t continue anymore. …… … Instead , he said that one beautiful autumn evening, he met a girl helplessly standing on the street. He liked to help people. Not everyone appreciated him, but this girl was very grateful and invited him to a delicious dinner. She started calling him brother. The way she called him was so lovable and cute that he really felt like her older brother. He liked it, so he started calling her, “ Girl”. And he started treating her like his younger sister. Over time, he grew more and more attached to this sister. He started liking her warm home filled with the fragrance of cooking. Whenever he was tired, he would want to sit in her home for a while. One day at the hospital, one of his patients, a twelve year old girl, died. This little girl was very cute. She did not speak Chinese, but every time she saw him, she would call out in Chinese, “ Gege”. And then she would smile at him. The little girl was gone. Late at night, when he sat on her empty hospital bed, he was physically and mentally exhausted. He tried to look for some company, but he didn’t know who to call. Then he stepped into the corridor of his building and stood in front of his neighbour’s door for a long time. Knocking at a single girl’s door this late at night was definitely strange. After hesitating several times, he finally pressed the doorbell Soon, she opened the door. She was wearing thin pyjamas and was rubbing her eyes in a simple and childish manner. “ Is this the time to be knocking at my door? What kind of girl do you think I am ?” Her cute pink mouth complained , but her eyes were bright with laughter. Suddenly, he wanted to hug her, he wanted to.. A strange impulse seized him. He wanted to break out from his imprisonment, reach out and grab her, and keep her forever with him.. She gently wiped his face with a towel and then cooked a meal for him. He secretly looked at her bed covered with pink sheets. He thought sleeping in them must be very comfortable and warm. He thought that he had been in shackles for too long. That was what causing this sudden, strange impulse to break free. Until, one day, when it was raining, he went to pick her up from work He sat in the car and saw a man who had a crush on her grab her hand with one hand and her waist with another. He saw that she didn’t resist and was looking at that man with her full attention. He had never felt such a burning, hot anger surge through him before. Anxiously, he rushed out to free her from the man’s arms. His grip almost broke his arm as he freed her from his embrace and hugged her himself. He would never give this man another chance. At that moment, he knew he had fallen in love with her. She was drenched from the rain and her wet body brought alive the most primal instincts in a man. Yes, l.u.s.t. The desire to put her body under his, to bury himself in her body, see her eyes cloud and hear her moan with pleasure.. But he knew that he could not fall in love, he didn’t even have his own personal freedom. He struggled against his own emotions and buried them. But one stormy night, she cried and told him that she hated him because in just one day he dragged her from heaven to h.e.l.l… He didn’t want to drag her from heaven to h.e.l.l… He had known from the beginning that he was wrong and that he would hurt her. He should not have tried to break away from his prison, He should have been obedient, he should have waited patiently till his sentence was over. But he was too eager. He had never experienced the kind of l.u.s.t he felt when he held her, the desire to enjoy this most basic atavistic freedom He could not break the shackles, but instead, he just got tangled deeper and deeper.. After listening to his story, I didn’t know what to say. I never knew that a man who smiled so carelessly, a man who spent money like water was actually so humble and miserable. I wanted to hug him, give him his freedom, tell him that we could create our own heaven with love.. Even if we fell, our lives would end together But instead, I gritted my teeth and stepped outside the room I heard him say, “ Girl, I really miss you..”
In the hospital, the doctor put Ye Zhengchen on the a saline drip. I went after the doctor and asked him, “ How is he? Is his life in danger?” “ No. He will be ok. You should go outside and wait..” I was relieved. Sitting outside, I rubbed the swelling in my ankle. Brother Feng followed me out. He wiped the sweat on his forehead.
“When two people are together, its normal to fight. But how did it get so serious?” I did not speak, I had no words to express my thoughts. Brother Feng was angry He kept pacing around in a circle. “ You .. I have never seen such a hard hearted woman in my life. Even if he has made a mistake, can’t you forgive him?” My mind was a mess. As I thought of what he said, I couldn’t help admire Brother Feng’s reasoning ability. Just by seeing this scene, he knew that there was something strange going on between me and Ye Zhencgchen, and he had guessed that I couldn’t forgive him for what he had done. The men studying Science and Engineering had really powerful abilities of logical reasoning! Seeing that I was silent, Brother Feng sat next to me. “Think about it.If I hadn’t looked for him today, if he really died…would you not regret it?” “ Don’t even say it.” I would not regret it. If Ye Zhengchen had died in my arms, I would have jumped out with him in my arms.. I really didn’t realise he would behave this way. He didn’t look so sensitive from outside. “ Oh!” Brother Feng sighed and handed me a tissue. “ I don’t know what happened to the two of you , but I know he is the right man for you..” When Ye Zhengchen woke up and saw me next to me, his mouth curved into a smile. Slowly, he reached out his hand towards me I put my hand under the bed and told him to take it easy “Please don’t pull such a silly stunt again.” He said, “I didn’t set out to do anything silly. It’s just that I wanted to be by myself. I didn’t feel like going out or meeting anyone or doing anything.” I said, “Ok. Then I’ll leave now. You rest properly.” As I stood up, he used the arm which was attached to the drip to hold my wrist. There was hardly any strength in his grip, but even with that weak grip, my calm att.i.tude was disintegrating. “ I’ll speak to Yu Yin and ask her to come here.” He removed his hand and smiled bitterly “ Ok. If you want to leave, leave.” I did want to leave. But my feet were stuck to the ground and I was unable to move. He asked, “ Do you know how it feels to lose your freedom?” “I don’t” “ I don’t remember when I became a person living in a prison… not to escape reality, but locked inside..” My interest was piqued so I sat down again. He told me that he was a man who had always been free till one day he was locked inside an iron cage. If they asked him to stand, he could not sit down; if they asked him to sit, he could not stand. Not only were his actions dictated by others, what he thought was also subject to all restrictions. No matter what they asked him to do, he can only choose to obey. He had no right to say “No”. As far as he was concerned, Yu Yin was another lock to keep him in prison. He asked me, “ Can anyone have any positive feelings for the chain that keeps him imprisoned?” I said, “ I don’t know.” He said, “ He will not. He will try his best to remove the chain.” He didn’t want much, only his personal freedom. He could no longer bear this prolonged confinement. Many times he had tried to break the iron cover entrapping him, but he could not. “ Why can’t you ?”I asked him. “For duty, for..” He didn’t continue anymore. …… … Instead , he said that one beautiful autumn evening, he met a girl helplessly standing on the street. He liked to help people. Not everyone appreciated him, but this girl was very grateful and invited him to a delicious dinner. She started calling him brother. The way she called him was so lovable and cute that he really felt like her older brother. He liked it, so he started calling her, “ Girl”. And he started treating her like his younger sister. Over time, he grew more and more attached to this sister. He started liking her warm home filled with the fragrance of cooking. Whenever he was tired, he would want to sit in her home for a while. One day at the hospital, one of his patients, a twelve year old girl, died. This little girl was very cute. She did not speak Chinese, but every time she saw him, she would call out in Chinese, “ Gege”. And then she would smile at him. The little girl was gone. Late at night, when he sat on her empty hospital bed, he was physically and mentally exhausted. He tried to look for some company, but he didn’t know who to call. Then he stepped into the corridor of his building and stood in front of his neighbour’s door for a long time. Knocking at a single girl’s door this late at night was definitely strange. After hesitating several times, he finally pressed the doorbell Soon, she opened the door. She was wearing thin pyjamas and was rubbing her eyes in a simple and childish manner. “ Is this the time to be knocking at my door? What kind of girl do you think I am ?” Her cute pink mouth complained , but her eyes were bright with laughter. Suddenly, he wanted to hug her, he wanted to.. A strange impulse seized him. He wanted to break out from his imprisonment, reach out and grab her, and keep her forever with him.. She gently wiped his face with a towel and then cooked a meal for him. He secretly looked at her bed covered with pink sheets. He thought sleeping in them must be very comfortable and warm. He thought that he had been in shackles for too long. That was what causing this sudden, strange impulse to break free. Until, one day, when it was raining, he went to pick her up from work He sat in the car and saw a man who had a crush on her grab her hand with one hand and her waist with another. He saw that she didn’t resist and was looking at that man with her full attention. He had never felt such a burning, hot anger surge through him before. Anxiously, he rushed out to free her from the man’s arms. His grip almost broke his arm as he freed her from his embrace and hugged her himself. He would never give this man another chance. At that moment, he knew he had fallen in love with her. She was drenched from the rain and her wet body brought alive the most primal instincts in a man. Yes, l.u.s.t. The desire to put her body under his, to bury himself in her body, see her eyes cloud and hear her moan with pleasure.. But he knew that he could not fall in love, he didn’t even have his own personal freedom. He struggled against his own emotions and buried them. But one stormy night, she cried and told him that she hated him because in just one day he dragged her from heaven to h.e.l.l… He didn’t want to drag her from heaven to h.e.l.l… He had known from the beginning that he was wrong and that he would hurt her. He should not have tried to break away from his prison, He should have been obedient, he should have waited patiently till his sentence was over. But he was too eager. He had never experienced the kind of l.u.s.t he felt when he held her, the desire to enjoy this most basic atavistic freedom He could not break the shackles, but instead, he just got tangled deeper and deeper.. After listening to his story, I didn’t know what to say. I never knew that a man who smiled so carelessly, a man who spent money like water was actually so humble and miserable. I wanted to hug him, give him his freedom, tell him that we could create our own heaven with love.. Even if we fell, our lives would end together But instead, I gritted my teeth and stepped outside the room I heard him say, “ Girl, I really miss you..”
