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She met his gaze frankly. "I told you before, Alex. Guys like you don't date women like me."
He smiled. "And I told you--"
She stopped him with a nervous laugh. "I know what you told me."
"Sarah, what exactly is a woman like you?"
She shrugged, curling her feet beneath her. "I'm just normal. Nothing
spectacular, Alex. A guy like you can probably go out every night with a different woman on his arm and never once have to settle for a date with someone who couldn't pa.s.s for a supermodel."
"Do I look like I'm settling by being here with you?"
Again, she shrugged. "Maybe."
"And the kiss? Was that settling?"
"I don't know, Alex!" Sarah cried suddenly. "I don't know you at all!"
She was right, of course. They'd spent less than ten hours together in total. Of
that, maybe five of those hours they had spent in conversation. Hardly enough time to get to know each other.
"I'd like to get to know you."
"We have nothing in common." Sarah winced as the hot tea touched her mouth, and she set her cup down hard enough to rattle it against the saucer.
Alex wasn't willing to let her escape with so feeble an excuse. "What are you afraid of?"
"You." She sounded honest. "I'm afraid of you."
Afraid? Alex frowned as the thought surfaced. Of what? He shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to do or say next. Had he been too forceful? The privacy that had seemed so seductive before now became awkward. Was she afraid he was going to try to force himself on her?
He knew he was much larger than she was and that made some women uncomfortable. Emma had told him it made them feel at risk. He hadn't understood what it was like to be a woman until his niece had come to live with him. h.e.l.l, he still didn't understand what it was like to be a woman. He had an insight, but not much more.
"Is it ... am I too big?" he asked, uncertain how to phrase the question.
Sarah looked at him goggle-eyed for a moment, a deep, brick red suffusing her cheeks. "What?" Her voice sounded slightly strangled.
"Too big. Do I make you uncomfortable?" The words began tumbling out, a terrible trait he had, but one he couldn't seem to modify. "My niece told me sometimes women are afraid to be alone with big men, that they wouldn't be able to defend themselves if he tried to ... if he wanted to..." His voice trailed off self-consciously. "Are you afraid I'm going to try and force myself on you, Sarah? Because I would never, ever..."
"Oh, no!" Sarah cried, clapping a hand to her mouth--in horror or embarra.s.sment, he couldn't tell which. "Oh, no, Alex, I didn't mean to make you think..."
"I'm sorry if I came on too strong..."
"I wasn't even thinking about that at all..."
They were speaking at the same time. Alex sighed. "You go ahead."
Sarah bit her lip and looked at her hands before meeting his eyes. "I didn't mean that kind of afraid."
Now he was even more confused. "What kind of afraid?"
"I'm not physically afraid." She twisted her fingers together in her lap. "To tell you the truth, that hadn't occurred to me at all. I meant afraid. Like afraid ... emotionally, I guess."
"Oh." He felt like a jerk, but that's all he could think of to say. His tongue could flap on both sides when he didn't want it to, but just try to come up with something understanding and suave, and he clammed up tight.
"I realize we're not even remotely close to that point yet," Sarah rushed on, as if to cover up any embarra.s.sment caused by his tepid response. "I'm not a.s.suming anything, I mean. Not from one kiss. Oh, G.o.d." She covered her eyes for a moment. "I'm making a mess of this."
She was and that made him feel much better. At least he wasn't the only one tongue-tied. "No, you're not."
"You really mean yes." Sarah gave him a sheepish grin. "I can admit it."
"No, really."
"One thing I respect in a man, above all else, is honesty. I'm making a muck of what I wanted to say, Alex, and I'm sorry."
Alex did the only thing he could think of to do. He kissed her again. Her mouth had been half-open in speech when he covered it with his, and instantly the taste of her filled him. Her tongue stroked his, then again. His p.e.n.i.s stiffened, hard like iron, and he put his hand to the back of her head to pull her closer.
Then all at once, she was gone, and all he was kissing was empty air.
Sarah got off the couch and knelt in front of the shallow fireplace, well-aware Alex was staring at her like she'd grown two heads or something. She needed to do something to occupy her hands and lighting a fire was the first thing that had come to her mind.
She'd expected him to make some comment, but Alex sat silently. She only had to turn around to look at him, to see his handsome face. Then she'd know whether he was smiling or frowning, whether she'd offended or amused him. Sarah wasn't sure she wanted to find out.
The kiss on the porch had taken her breath away and weakened her knees. Cliched, but true. The kiss on the couch had left her reeling.
As she dropped the matches into the nest of kindling she'd already prepared, Sarah noticed her hands had stopped trembling. Good. She needed to have her head on straight, especially if she was going to do what she thought she was going to do.
"I'm not a prude." She kept her eyes focused on the flames. "I've had relationships before, Alex. Some have been long, others very short. One night even."
He did not respond. She'd finished the fire, and now could only sit back and watch the blaze fill the fireplace. With one last look to be sure she'd used enough wood, Sarah brushed her hands carefully. Then she turned back toward the couch.
Alex had stretched out his long legs and linked his hands behind his head, but at her words,in went the long legs, down came the hands, until Alex sat straight-backed on the couch, his hands on his thighs.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No." She put her face on her knees for a moment before looking at him again. "Yes ... I don't know, Alex."
In one smooth motion, he slipped off the couch to sit by her on the floor. Then his mouth was on hers again, his arms around her, and all she could think of was how good it felt to have the heat of the fire against her back and Alex's heat against her front. She was glad he'd made the move. She didn't have the nerve. Rivka always called her Sarai, which meant "the bold," but in Alex Caine's presence Sarah felt anything but. Instead, she'd been catapulted back to high school, when the thought of kissing a boy had made her palms sweat.
She was sweating now and not only because the blaze had grown so high behind them. She pushed him gently, meaning to move him a little further toward the couch. At her touch, Alex slid backward onto the floor, taking her with him. She ended up on top of him, their legs tangled, so she became all too aware of the muscles in his thighs pressing against her.
His mouth opened beneath hers and urged her to respond. She did. His tongue swept her mouth, his lips nibbled and sucked at hers. Alex tangled his fingers into the length of her hair and tugged just gently. Sarah moaned.
Mortified at the inadvertent noise, she broke the kiss but was unable to pull herself away. Alex's hands clasped her too tightly for that. Her cheeks flushed hotly, matching the heat that had begun to flare in other parts of her body.
"What's wrong?" He didn't let go of her.
Sarah managed to slide off his body so she was no longer in full contact. Not that moving away cleared her mind at all. The scent of him still clung to her, and his taste still tingled in her mouth.
"I don't want you to stop."
Alex smiled. "I don't want to stop."
She felt stupid and amorous all at once. Sarah shook her head. "I am not in the habit of having casual s.e.x, Alex."
But oh, boy, did she want to.
He nodded. "You may not believe me, but neither am I."
She wanted to believe him and searched his face carefully for any sign he might be lying. She saw none, not even the hint of a grin that might show he was being facetious.
"I want you to be sure you know what you're doing."
He chuckled softly. "I'll try my best, Sarah."
That wasn't what she meant, but she didn't have the willpower to keep arguing. Not with him, and not with herself. She wanted to make love to him. Her desire was an uphill ride on a roller coaster. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut until the ride was over, but knew she was going to ride the whole way with her hands in the air, screaming with delight.
Alex, thankfully, didn't seem to be as bound into thought as Sarah was. He tugged her down to him again, seeking her mouth with a pa.s.sion she soon eagerly matched. His hand came up to cup her breast through the soft wool of her sweater. Her nipple rose, instantly turgid beneath his fingers.
"Oh, Sarah."
The whisper her name on his lips sent a ray of heat directly to her core.
She allowed him to slip the sweater over her head and unhook the simple bra beneath. Her hands went to the b.u.t.tons of his oxford cloth shirt and slipped them open with far more grace than she expected to have with shaking hands.
His chest was smooth, with just one patch of crisp, curling dark hair in the center. His stomach was ridged with muscle, and another line of the same crisp hair led down past his navel to disappear beneath the waistband of his trousers. Sarah wanted to see where that line led. It was the way his hips moved beneath her fingers that prompted her to at last undo the b.u.t.ton. His urgency was feeding her own, chasing away the last doubts and reservations she had.
He kissed every inch of her bare skin, moved his mouth along the soft curve of her stomach and smoothed the elastic waistband of her knit pants over her hips. They were both naked before she knew it, and she was on top of him again. His erection nudged her lower belly, and his chest hair tantalizingly sc.r.a.ped at her over-sensitized b.r.e.a.s.t.s until, gasping, she had to pull away. The firelight lined him in gold and orange and shone in his hazel eyes. It bathed his body in the colors of autumn leaves.
She sat up, wanting to see all of him. Alex lay back and propped his head on one of the sofa cushions. His gaze caressed her. In the flattering firelight, Sarah didn't feel self-conscious. His touch had made her bold at last, and she refused to speculate on whether her thighs looked heavy or her b.r.e.a.s.t.s too small.
She took him in her hand and slowly ran her fingers up and down the length of him. It was like stroking silk-sheathed steel. His p.e.n.i.s thrummed in her grasp, and the sharp intake of his breath made her smile a little.
"Sarah." His voice was hoa.r.s.e, filled with longing.
Suddenly, he tugged her away from him and rolled over her. When she was cradled in his arms, Alex pushed her back gently until her head rested on the cushion. He pressed a rapid line of kisses down over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and stomach. When she saw what he meant to do next, she stiffened.
"Wait." She hadn't prepared for this. Hadn't prepared for any of it, in fact, but the thought of his tongue on her made her feel faint. It would be too much. She would be lost.
He didn't listen to her, pushing away the hand she'd pressed to the top of his head. Firmly but gently, he parted her thighs and pressed his lips to the soft patch of hair between her legs. The pressure of his mouth made her bite back a cry. Then, too soon, he found the swollen bud of her arousal. Alex first kissed the sensitive spot, then stroked it with the tip of his tongue.
Sarah flung an arm across her eyes, unable to watch and not wanting him to see the pa.s.sion she knew contorted her face. He slipped one finger inside her, and her hips rose helplessly to meet his tongue as it danced along her c.l.i.toris. A familiar tension coiled in her belly, growing tighter and tighter until she at last had to gasp his name.
"Alex!" Sarah was nearly mindless with the pleasure his tongue and fingers were working on her.
He pulled away, and she found the courage to look at him. His eyes were glazed, but he smiled at her. He moved up to cover her body with his own and pressed deliciously against her.
"This isn't the best time to mention it, but I didn't come prepared for this."
For one moment she had no clue as to what he hinted. Of course. She would have felt like an idiot, if his fingers weren't still tweaking her nipples and making her shift restlessly beneath him. He meant about protection.
"My bag." She pointed. He raised a brow at her, and she recognized her expression on his face. "It's not what you think."
"At this point, Sarah, I don't care to think about anything." He rolled onto his back and stretched out one long arm until he snagged the handle of her handbag with one of his fingers.
Sarah shuffled in its depths for a moment and pulled out the small container that had once held a travel-size pack of disposable wipes. She opened it and took out the small foil package. Just because she wasn't in the habit of picking up men didn't mean she intended to ever be unprepared.
Alex didn't let the moment turn awkward. Deftly, he took the condom from her and opened it, slipping it on with no self-consciousness at all. Then he was on top of her again, kissing her mouth and neck, whispering her name over and over like a litany.
"Thank you." Sarah was glad he hadn't made an issue of wearing the condom, and even more relieved she'd had one available.
Alex propped himself on his elbows and searched her eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
She had never been more certain about anything. She had never wanted a man so badly. "Yes."
He reached his hand down between their bodies--his palm brushing once more against the core of her arousal. Then he had positioned himself and was inside her with a smooth, gentle motion that made her moan aloud.
She wasn't embarra.s.sed this time. Alex answered with a soft groan of his own. Sarah reached up to wrap her arms around his back, running her fingers over and over the smooth skin and down to the first curve of his strong b.u.t.tocks. They clenched beneath her touch as Alex set a slow, strong rhythm of thrusts.
The pace quickly became faster as she urged him on by pushing upward with her hips. With every thrust, he rubbed against the most sensitive part of her. He buried his face in her neck, both of them moving in tandem.
Her climax was perilously close. The scent of him washed over her and mingled with the fire's smoky smell. Being with Alex was glorious, perfect, better than with any man she had ever known. They were moving together in perfect harmony, so perfect tears sprang to her eyes with the intensity of her coming o.r.g.a.s.m.
"Sarah."
The sound of him whispering her name pushed her over the edge. Her nails dug furrows into his back as the ball of sensation inside her compressed further and further until, at last, it broke apart with a shatter. Splinters of ecstasy filled every part of her.
Above her, Alex made a soft cry through clenched teeth and captured her mouth again. When he pulled away, it was to bring his face to hers, to look deep into her eyes. He thrust a final time inside her and shuddered. She felt the throb of his climax inside her, and it sent her once more into spasms of rapture.
Alex held onto her so tightly, she was almost unable to breathe. Sarah found she didn't care. In his arms, she had never felt more wonderful.