New Comedies Part 23

_Staffy:_ There should be great weight in it.

_Ralph:_ I am in dread it might work a hole down through the timber of the car.

_Delia:_ Why wouldn't we open it here? It would be handier bringing it away in small divides.

_Ralph:_ The way we would make sure of getting our own share at the last.

_Delia:_ Let you draw out the cork from it.

_Ralph:_ I don't know can I lift it. _(Stoops and lifts it easily.)_ The Lord protect and save us! There is no weight in it at all!

_Staffy: (Seizing and shaking it.)_ Not a one penny in it but clean empty. That beats all.

_Delia:_ It is with banknotes it is stuffed that are deaf and do be giving out no sound. _(She pokes in a knitting pin.)_ Nothing in it at all, but as bare as the canopy of heaven!

_Ralph:_ There being nothing within in it, where now is the gold?

_Staffy:_ Some person should have made away with it.

_Delia:_ Some robber or some great rogue. A terrible thing such ruffians to be around in the world! To turn and rob a poor man of all he had spared and had earned.

_Staffy:_ They have done him a great wrong surely, taking from him all he had of comfort in his life.

_Ralph:_ My grief it is there being no more hangings for thieves, that are worse again than murderers that might do their deed out of heat. It is thieving is the last crime.

_Staffy:_ We to lay our hand on that vagabond we'll give him cruelty will force him to Christian habits.

_Ralph:_ Take care might he be nearer than what you think!

(_He points at Simon. All look at him.)_

_Staffy:_ Sure enough it is with himself only we found him on the hearth this morning.

_Delia:_ He hasn't hardly the intellect to be the thief.

_Simon:_ I tell you I never since the day I was born could be charged with the weight of a bra.s.s pin!

_Staffy:_ It is to Damer, my fine boy, you will have to make out your case.

_Simon:_ So I will make it out. Where now is Damer?

_Staffy:_ He is gone down the road, where he brought away Jubair the dog.

_Simon:_ What are you saying? The dog gone is it? _(Goes to door.)_

_Ralph: (Taking hold of him.)_ What makes you go out in such a hurry?

_Simon:_ What is that to you?

_Delia:_ What cause has he to be making a run?

_Simon:_ Let me mind my own business.

_Staffy:_ It is maybe our own business.

_Simon:_ To make a search I must in that dog's kennel of straw.

_Delia:_ Go out, Ralph, till you will bring it in.

_(Ralph goes out.)_

_Staffy: (Seizing him_) A man to go rush out headlong and money after being stolen, I have no mind to let him make his escape.

_Delia:_ If you are honest let you stop within and not to put a bad appearance upon yourself making off.

_Simon:_ Let me out! I tell you I have a thing concealed in the box.

_Staffy:_ A strange place to go hiding things and a queer story altogether.

_Delia:_ Do not let go your hold. He to go out into the street, he has the wide world before him.

_Ralph: (Dragging kennel in.)_ Here now is the box.

_Simon: (Breaking away and searching it)_ Where at all is it vanished?

_Staffy:_ It is lies he was telling. There is nothing at all within in it only a wisp of barley straw.

_Simon:_ Where at all is it?

_Staffy:_ What is it is gone from you?

_Simon:_ Not a one pound left!

_Delia:_ Why would you look to find coins of money down in Jubair's bed?

_Simon:_ It is there I hid it.

_Staffy:_ What is it you hid?

_Simon:_ All that was in the crock and that I took from it. Where now is my bag of gold?

_Staffy:_ Do you hear what he is after saying?

_Ralph:_ A lad of that sort will not be safe but in the gaol. Let us give him into the grip of the law.

_Delia:_ No, but let the man owned it do that.

_Staffy:_ So he can task him with it, and he drawing to the door.