Never Never: Part Three Part 3

aOne of the last thoughts I had before we fell asleep was howa"while you were missinga"I didnat feel whole. But when I found you, it was the first time I felt like Silas Nash. Up until that point, I didnat feel like anyone. And I remember swearing to myself right before I fell asleep that I would never allow us to drift apart again. So I was thinkingaa I release her hands and stand up. I pace the room a couple of times until she stands up, too. I shouldnat be embarra.s.sed to say this next part out loud, but I am. Itas ridiculous. But so is every other thing in the whole world right now.

I rub the nerves out of the back of my neck while I lock eyes with her. aCharlie? What ifawhen we broke upawe screwed with destiny?a I wait for her to laugh, but instead, a rush of chills covers her arms. She makes to rub them away as she slowly takes a seat back down on the bed. aThatas ridiculous,a she mutters. But thereas no conviction in her words, which means maybe a part of her thinks this theory is worth exploring.

I sit down in my chair again and position myself in front of her. aWhat if weare supposed to be together? And messing with that caused some sort ofaI donat knowarift.a She rolls her eyes. aSo what youare implying is, the universe wiped away all of our memories because we broke up? That seems a little narcissistic.a I shake my head. aI know how it sounds. But yes. Hypothetically speakingawhat if soul mates exist? And once they come together, they canat fall apart?a She folds her hands together in her lap. aHow does that explain why you remembered this time and I didnat?a I pace the room some more. aLet me think for a minute,a I say to her.

She waits patiently while I rub the floor raw. I hold up a finger. aHear me out, okay?a aIam listening,a she says.

aWeave loved each other since we were kids. We obviously had this connection that has lasted our entire lives. Up until external factors started getting in our way. The thing with our fathers, our families hating each other. You holding a grudge against me for believing your father was guilty. Thereas a pattern here, Charlie.a I grab the notebook that I wrote in earlier and look at all the things we naturally remember and all the things we donat. aAnd our memoriesawe can remember things that werenat forced on us. Things we had a pa.s.sion for all on our own. You remember books. I remember how to work a camera. We remember lyrics to our favorite songs. We remember certain things in history, or random stories. But things that were forced on us by others, we forgot. Like football.a aWhat about people?a she asks. aWhy did we forget all the people weave met?a aIf we remembered people, wead still have other memories. Wead remember how we met them, the impact theyave had on our lives.a I scratch at the back of my head. aI donat know, Charlie. A lot of it doesnat make sense still. But last night, I felt a connection with you again. Like I had loved you for years. And this morningaI didnat lose my memories like you did. There has to be significance in that.a Charlie stands up and begins pacing the room. aSoul mates?a she mutters. aThis is almost as ridiculous as a curse.a aOr two people developing in-sync amnesia?a She narrows her eyes at me. I can see her mind working as she chews on the pad of her thumb. aWell then, explain how you fell back in love with me in just two days. And if weare soul mates, why wouldnat I have fallen back in love with you?a She stops pacing and waits for my answer.

aYou spent a lot of your time locked up inside your old house. I spent all that time looking for you. I was reading our love letters, going through your phone, reading your journals. By the time I found you yesterday, I felt like I already knew you. For me, reading everything from our past somehow connected me to you againalike some of my old feelings had come back. But for you...I was barely more than a stranger.a Weare both sitting again. Thinking. Contemplating the possibility that this might be the closest weave come to any sort of pattern.

aSo what youare suggesting isawe were soul mates. But then external influences ruined us as people and we fell out of love?a aYeah. Maybe. I think so.a aAnd itall keep happening until we set things right again?a I shrug, because Iam not sure. Itas just a theory. But it makes more sense than anything else weave come up with.

Five minutes pa.s.s while neither of us says a single word. She finally falls back onto the bed with a heavy sigh and says, aYou know what this means?a aNo.a She pulls up onto her elbows and looks at me. aIf this is trueayou only have thirty-six hours to make me fall in love with you.a I donat know if weare on to something, or if weare about to spend the remainder of our time chasing a dead end, but I smile, because Iam willing to sacrifice the next thirty-six hours for this theory. I walk over to the bed and fall onto it beside her. Weare both staring up at the ceiling when I say, aWell, Charlie Baby. We better get started.a She throws an arm over her eyes and groans. aI donat know you very well, but I can already tell youare gonna have fun with this.a I smile, because sheas right.

aItas late,a I tell her. aWe should try to get some sleep, because your heart is going to get a serious workout tomorrow.a I set my alarm for 6:00 a.m. so that we can be up and out of the house before anyone else wakes up. Charlie sleeps closest to the wall and is out cold in a matter of minutes. I donat feel like Iall be able to fall asleep anytime soon, so I pluck one of her journals from the backpack and decide to read some before I fall asleep.

Silas is crazy.

Likealegit crazy. But my G.o.d, I have so much fun with him. He started a game he forces me to play sometimes called Silas Says. Itas exactly the same as Simon Says, but...you know. With his name instead of Simonas. Whatever. Heas way cooler than Simon.

We were on Bourbon Street today and it was so hot and we were both sweating and miserable. We had no idea where our friends had gone off to and we werenat supposed to meet them for another hour. When it comes to me and Silas, Iam always the whiney one, but it was so hot this time, even he was whining a little.

Anyway, we walked past this guy who was propped up on a stool and he had painted himself silver, like a robot. There was a sign leaning against his stool that said, aAsk me a question. Get a real answer. Only 25 cents.a Silas handed me a quarter, so I dropped it in the bucket. aWhatas the meaning of life?a I asked the silver man.

He made a stiff turn of his head and looked me square in the eye. In a very impressive robot voice, he said, aThat depends on the life of which you search for meaning.a I rolled my eyes at Silas. Just another hack job scamming the tourists. I clarified my question so that at least the quarter wouldnat go to complete waste. aFine,a I said. aWhatas the meaning of my life?a He took a rickety step down from his stool and bent at a ninety-degree angle. With his silver robot fingers, he plucked my quarter out of the bucket and placed it in my palm. He glanced at Silas and then to me and smiled. aYou, my dear, have already found your meaning. All there is left to do nowais dance.a Then the silver dude started dancing. Likealegit dancing. Not even in a robot style. He just had this big, goofy grin on his face and held his hands up like a ballerina and danced like no one was watching him.

At that point, Silas grabbed my hands and said in mock-robot voice, aDance. With. Me.a He tried to pull me into the street to dance with him, but h.e.l.l no. Embarra.s.sing. I pulled away from him, but he wrapped his arms around me and did that thing where he puts his mouth right on my ear. He knows I freaking love that, so it was really unfair. He whispered, aSilas says dance.a I donat know what it was about him in that moment. I donat know if it was because he honestly didnat care that anyone was watching us, or if it was because he was still talking to me in that silly robot voice. Whatever it was, Iam pretty sure I fell in love with him today.

All over again. For like the tenth time.

So I did what Silas said. I danced. And you know what? It was fun. So much fun. We danced all around Jackson square and we were still dancing when our friends found us. We were covered in sweat and out of breath, and if I were watching us from the sidewalk, I would probably be the girl crinkling up my nose, muttering agrossa under my breath.

But Iam not that girl. I never want to be that girl. For the rest of my life, I want to be the girl dancing with Silas in the street.

Because heas crazy. Thatas why I love him.

I close the journal. Did that really happen? I want to read more, but Iam afraid if I keep going, Iall come across things I donat want to remember.

I set the journal on my nightstand and roll over so that I can wrap my arm around her. When we wake up tomorrow, weall only have one day left. I want her to be able to let go of everything thatas going on between us so that she can genuinely focus on me and our connection and nothing else.

Knowing Charlieathatas going to be hard. Itall take some crazy skills to be able to accomplish that.

But luckilyaIam crazy. Thatas why she used to love me.

aOkay, so how does this work exactly?a I ask as we walk toward his car. aDo we float down the bayou in a rowboat while little critters sing aKiss the Girla?a aDonat be a smarta.s.s.a Silas grins. Then he stops me before I reach the car, grabbing my hand and pulling me back. I look up at him in surprise. aCharlize,a he says, looking first at my lips, and then in my eyes. aIf you give me half a chance I can make you fall in love with me.a I clear my throat and try not to look away even though I want to. aWellayouare off to a good start. So thereas that.a He laughs. I feel so awkward, I donat know what to do with myself, so I pretend to sneeze. He doesnat even say bless you. He just smiles at me, like he knows it was a fake sneeze.

aStop it,a I say. aYouare staring at me.a aThatas the point, Charlie. Look into my eyes.a I burst into laughter. aYouave got game, Silas Nash,a I say, walking toward my side of the car.

When weare both buckled in, Silas turns to me and says, aAccording to a letter you wrote, the first time we had s.e.x wasa"a aNo. I donat want to go there. Where did you find that letter? I thought I hid it.a aNot well enough.a Silas grins.

I think I like flirty Silas. Even if we forget everything again tomorrow, at least Iall get one good day out of this. aLetas go somewhere fun,a I say. aI canat remember the last time I had fun.a We both start laughing at the same time. I like him. I really do. Heas so easy to be around. He laughs too much, maybe. Like, weare totally screwed right now, and heas still always smiling. Worry a little, dude. He makes me laugh when I should be worrying.

aOkay,a he says, glancing at me. aI really would rather go to that place in the letter where I did that thing with my tongue, butaa Itas automatica"it must belong to Charliea"but as soon as the words are out of his mouth, my hand reaches across the s.p.a.ce between us and I slap his arm. He grabs my hand before I can pull away and holds it to his chest. This too feels like something thatas been done before, something that belongs to thema"Charlie and Silas, not me and this guy.

It makes me feel tired to be held against him like this, even if itas just my hand. I canat afford to be tired, so I tug away from him and look out the window.

aYouare really fighting this,a he says. aThat kind of defies the point.a Heas right. I reach over and grab his hand. aThis is me falling in love with you,a I tell him. aDeep, soul love.a aI wonder if youare less ridiculous when you have your memory.a I turn on the radio with my free hand. aDoubt it,a I say.

I like making him smile. It doesnat take much to make the corners of his mouth twitch, but to actually get his lips to curve all the way up, I have to be extra sa.s.sy. His lips are fully curved now as he pulls into traffic and I am able to watch him without him watching me. Weare acting like we know each other even though our conscious minds donat know each other. Why is that?

I reach for the backpack, to search for the answer in their letters or journals.

aCharlize,a Silas says. aThe answer isnat in there. Just be with me. Donat worry about that.a I drop the backpack. I donat know where heas driving. I donat know if he knows where heas driving, but we end up in a parking lot just as it starts to rain. There are no other cars around and itas coming down too hard for me to see whatas in the buildings around us.

aWhere are we?a aI donat know,a Silas says. aBut we should get out of the car.a aItas raining.a aYes. Silas says get out of the car.a aSilas saysa? Like Simon says?a He just stares at me expectantly, so I shrug. Honestly, what do I have to lose? I open the car door and step into the rain. Itas warm rain. I tilt my face up and let it hit me.

I hear his door slam and then he runs around the front of the car and stands in front of me.

aSilas says run around the car five times.a aYouare weird, you know that?a He stares at me. I shrug again and start running. It feels good. Like with every step some of the tension is leaving my body.

I donat look at him when I run past him; I stay focused on not tripping. Maybe Charlie ran track or something. Five car laps later I stop in front of him. We are both soaked through. Drops of water are dangling from his eyelashes and running down his tanned neck. Why do I have the urge to touch my tongue to those lines of water?

Oh, yeah. We were in love. Or maybe itas because heas freaking hot.

aSilas says go into that store and ask for a hotdog. When they tell you they donat have hotdogs, stomp your foot really hard and scream like you did in the hotel this morning.a aWhat thea"a He crosses his arms over his chest. aSilas says.a Why the h.e.l.l am I even doing this? I give Silas the dirtiest look I can and stomp off in the direction of the store he pointed me to. Itas an insurance agency. I swing open the door and three grouchy-looking adults raise their heads to see who has walked in. One of them even has the audacity to scrunch up their nose at me, like I donat already know Iam dripping water everywhere.

aIad like a hotdog with everything,a I say.

Iam met with blank stares. aAre you drunk?a the receptionist asks me. aDo you need help? Whatas your name?a I stomp my foot and let out a bloodcurdling scream, at which all three of them drop whatever theyare holding and look at each other.

I take their moment of surprise to run out. Silas is waiting for me outside the door. Heas laughing so hard; heas bent over at the waist.

I punch him on the arm and then we both run for the Rover.

I can hear my own laughter blending with his. That was fun. We jump into the car and peel away just as Grouchy One, Two, and Three walk outside to watch us.

Silas drives for a few miles before he pulls into another parking lot. This time I can see the glowing sign advertising: THE BEST COFFEE AND BEIGNETS IN LOUISIANA!

aWeare soaking wet,a I say, not seeming to be able to wipe the smile from my face. aDo you know how messy beignets will be?a aSilas says eat ten beignets,a he says stoically.

aUgh. Why do you have to act like a robot when you play this game? Itas creeping me out.a He doesnat respond. We get a table near the window and order coffee and two dozen beignets. The waitress doesnat seem bothered by our wet clothes or the fact Silas is speaking in a robot voice.

aThe waitress thinks weare cute,a I tell Silas.

aWe are.a I roll my eyes. This is fun. Would Charlie think this was fun?

When our beignets come, I am so hungry I donat care about my wet hair or clothes. I dive in, moaning when the warm pastry hits my tongue. Silas watches me in amus.e.m.e.nt.

aYou really like those, huh?a aTheyare actually really gross,a I say. aIam just really into this game.a We eat as many as we can until weare covered in white powder. Before we leave, Silas rubs some of it across my face and hair. Not to be outdone, I return the favor. G.o.d, this guy is fun. Maybe I kind of see what Charlie sees in him.

Sheas into this. She hasnat smiled nearly enough in the last few days Iave had with her, but now she canat stop smiling.

aWhere are we going now?a she says, clapping her hands together. She still has powdered sugar on the corner of her mouth. I reach across the seat and wipe it off with my thumb.

aWeare going to The French Quarter,a I tell her. aLots of romantic places there.a She rolls her eyes, scrolling through her phone. aI wonder what we actually used to do for fun. Besides take selfies.a aAt least they were all good selfies.a She shoots me a look of pity. aThatas a contradiction. There are no such things as good selfies.a aIave been through your camera roll. I beg to differ.a She ducks her head and looks out her window, but I can see the pinks of her cheeks grow redder.

After we park, I have absolutely no plan. We filled up on so many beignets for breakfast, Iam not sure sheas quite ready to have lunch yet.

We spend the first part of the afternoon walking up and down every street, stopping in almost every store. Itas as if weare both so fascinated by the scenery, we forget we have a goal today. Iam supposed to make her swoon. Sheas supposed to swoon and fall in love with me. Get back on track, Silas.

Weare on Dauphine Street when we walk past what claims to be a bookstore. Charlie turns around and grabs my hands. aCome on,a she says, pulling me into the store. aIam pretty sure the way to my heart is in here.a There are books stacked floor to ceiling, every which way. Sideways, top to bottom, books used as shelves for more books. A man sits behind a cash register to the right, which is covered in even more books. He nods a greeting as we enter. Charlie heads to the back of the store, which isnat very far away. Itas a small store, but there are more books than a man could read in his entire life. She runs her fingers along the books as she pa.s.ses them, looking up, down, around. She actually twirls when she gets to the end of the aisle. Sheas definitely in her element, whether she remembers or not.

Sheas facing a corner, pulling a red book off the shelf. I walk up behind her and give her another Silas Says task.

aSilas saysaopen the book to a random page and read the first few sentences you see...a She chuckles. aThatas easy.a aI wasnat finished,a I say. aSilas says read the sentences at the top of your lungs.a She spins around to face me, eyes wide. But then a mischievous grin drags across her mouth. She stands up tall while holding the book out in front of her. aFine,a she says. aYou asked for it.a She clears her throat, and then, as loud as she can, she reads, aIT MADE ME WANT TO MARRY HER! MADE ME WANT TO BUY HER A MAGIC AIRPLANE AND FLY HER AWAY TO A PLACE WHERE NOTHING BAD COULD EVER HAPPEN! MADE ME WANT TO POUR RUBBER CEMENT ALL OVER MY CHEST AND THEN LAY DOWN ON TOP OF HER SO THAT WEaD BE STUCK TOGETHER, AND SO IT WOULD HURT LIKE h.e.l.l IF WE EVER TRIED TO TEAR OURSELVES APART!a Charlie is laughing when she finishes. But when the words she read begin to register, her laughter fades. She runs her fingers over the sentences like they mean something to her. aThat was really sweet,a she says. She flips through the pages of the book until she comes to a stop with her finger on a different paragraph. Then, in just barely a whisper, she begins reading again. aFate is the magnetic pull of our souls toward the people, places, and things we belong with.a She stares at the book for a moment and then closes it. She places it back on the shelf, but she moves two books out of the way so that this book can be displayed more prominently. aDo you believe that?a aWhich part?a She leans against a wall of books and stares over my shoulder. aThat our souls are pulled toward the people we belong with.a I reach out to her and pull at a lock of her hair. I run my fingers down it and twirl it around my finger. aI donat know if I normally believe in soul mates,a I tell her. aBut for the next twenty-four hours, Iad bet my life for it to be true.a She rolls her shoulder until her back is pressed against the wall of books, and sheas facing me. I would absolutely bet my life on fate right now. I somehow have more feelings for this girl than will fit inside of me. And I want more than anything for her to feel the same thing. To want the same thing. Whichain this very momentais for my mouth to be on hers.

aCharlieaa I release her lock of hair and bring my hand to her cheek. I touch her gentlyatracing her cheekbone with my fingertips. Her breaths are shallow and quick. aKiss me.a She leans into my hand a little and her eyes flutter. For a moment, I think she might actually do it. But then a smile steals her heated expression and she says, aSilas didnat say.a She darts under my arm and disappears down the next aisle. I donat follow her. I grab the book she read from and tuck it under my arm as I head for the register.

She knows what Iam doing. The whole time Iam at the register, sheas watching me from down the aisle. After I purchase the book, I walk outside and let the door shut behind me. I wait a few seconds to see if she follows me immediately out, but she doesnat. Same stubborn Charlie.

I pull the backpack off my shoulder and shove the book inside of it. Then I pull out my camera and turn it on.

She stays inside the bookstore for another half hour. I donat mind it. I know she knows Iam still out here. I take picture after picture, engrossed in the people who pa.s.s by and the way the sun is setting over the buildings, casting shadows on even the smallest of things. I take pictures of all of it. When Charlie finally makes it back outside, my battery is almost dead.

She walks up to me and says, aWhereas my book?a I hoist the backpack over my shoulder. aI didnat buy that book for you. I bought it for me.a She huffs and follows after me as I make my way down the street. aThatas not a good move, Silas. Youare supposed to be thoughtful. Not selfish. I want to fall in love with you, not become irritated with you.a I laugh. aWhy do I feel like love and irritation go hand in hand with you?a aWell, you have known me longer than Iave known myself.a She grabs my hand to pull me to a stop. aLook! Crawfish!a She yanks me in the direction of the restaurant. aDo we like crawfish? Iam so hungry!a Turns out, we do not like crawfish. Luckily, they had chicken strips on the menu. We both like chicken, apparently.

aWe should write that down somewhere,a she says, walking backward down the middle of the street. aThat we hate crawfish. I donat want to have to go through that awful experience again.a aWait! Youare about toaa Charlie falls on her b.u.t.t before the rest of the sentence can make it out of my mouth. aWalk into a pothole,a I finish.

I reach down to help her up, but thereas not much I can do about her pants. We had finally dried off after the rain from earlier today, and now sheas soaking wet again. This time from muddy water. aYou okay?a I ask, trying not to laugh. Trying being the key word here. Because Iam laughing harder than Iave laughed all day.

aYeah, yeah,a she says as she attempts to wipe mud from her pants and her hands. Iam still laughing when she narrows her eyes and points down at the mud puddle. aCharlie says sit in the pothole, Silas.a I shake my head. aNo. No way. The game is called Silas says, not Charlie says.a She arches an eyebrow. aOh, really?a She takes a step closer to me and says, aCharlie says sit in the pothole. If Silas does what Charlie says, Charlie will do whatever Silas says.a Is that an invitation of sorts? Iam liking flirtatious Charlie. I glance down at the pothole. Itas not that deep. I turn around and lower myself until Iam sitting cross-legged in the puddle of muddy water. I keep my eyes on Charlieas face, not wanting to witness the attention weare probably attracting from bystanders. She swallows back her laughter, but I can see the pleasure sheas getting out of this.

I stay sitting in the pothole until it even starts to embarra.s.s Charlie. After several seconds, I lean back onto my elbows and cross my legs. Someone snaps a picture of me in the pothole, so she motions for me to stand. aGet up,a she says, glancing around. aHurry.a I shake my head. aI canat. Charlie didnat say.a She grabs my hand, laughing. aCharlie says get up, you idiot.a She helps me to my feet and grabs my shirt, pressing her face against my chest. aOh my G.o.d, theyare all staring at us.a I wrap my arms around her and begin to sway back and forth, which is probably not what she was expecting me to do. She looks up at me, my shirt still clenched in her fists. aCan we go now? Letas go.a I shake my head. aSilas says dance.a Her eyebrows crinkle together. aYou canat be serious!a There are several people stopped on the street now, some of them taking pictures of us. I sort of donat blame them. Iad probably take pictures of an idiot who willingly sat in a mud puddle, too.

I unclench her fists from my shirt and make her hold my hands as I force her to dance to non-existent music. Sheas stiff at first, but then she seems to let the laughter take over the embarra.s.sment. We sway and dance down Bourbon Street, b.u.mping into people as we go. The whole time, sheas giggling like she doesnat have a care in the world.

After a few minutes, we come to a break in the crowd. I stop twirling her long enough to pull her to my chest and sway softly, back and forth. Sheas looking up at me, shaking her head. aYouare crazy, Silas Nash,a she says.

I nod. aGood. Thatas what you love about me.a Her smile fades for a moment and the look she has in her eyes causes me to stop swaying. She places her palm over my heart and stares at the back of her hand. I already know sheas not feeling a heartbeat inside my chest. Itas more like a drumline in mid procession.

Her eyes meet mine again. She parts her lips and whispers, aCharlie saysakiss Charlie.a I would have kissed her even if Charlie didnat say. My hand wraps in her hair a single second before my lips meet hers. When her mouth parts for mine, it feels as though she punches a hole straight through my chest and makes a fist around my heart. It hurts, it doesnat, itas beautiful, itas terrifying. I want it to last for eternity, but Iall run out of breath if this kiss goes on for just one more minute. My arm wraps around her waist, and when I pull her closer, she moans quietly into my mouth. Jesus.

The only thing I have room for in this head of mine right now is the firm belief that fate absolutely exists. Fateasoul matesatime travelayou name it. It all exists. Because thatas what her kiss feels like. Existence.

Weare momentarily jolted when someone b.u.mps into us. Our mouths seaparate, but it takes effort to free ourselves from whatever hold just took over. The music from all the open doors along the street comes back into focus. The lights, the people, the laughter. All the external things that ten seconds of her kiss just blocked out are rushing back. The sun is setting, and nighttime seems to transform this entire street from one world to another. I canat think of anything I want more than to get her out of here. Neither of us seems to be able to move, though, and my arm feels like it weighs twenty pounds when I reach for her hand. She slides her fingers through mine and we begin walking in silence back toward the parking lot where my car is.

Neither of us speaks a word the entire walk back. Once weare both inside my car, I wait a moment before cranking it. Things are too heavy. I donat want to start driving until we get out whatever it is we need to say. Kisses like that canat linger without acknowledgment.

aNow what?a she asks, staring out the window.

I watch her for a moment, but she doesnat move. Itas as if sheas frozen. Suspended in time between the last kiss and our next one.

I buckle up and put the car in drive. Now what? I have no idea. I want to kiss her like that a million more times, but every single kiss would end just like that one did. With the fear that I wonat remember it tomorrow.

aWe should go back home and get a decent nightas sleep,a I say. aWe also need to make more notes in caseaa I cut myself off.

She pulls on her seatbelt. aIn case soul mates donat existaa she finishes.

During our drive to Silasas house, I think about everything weave learned today. I think about my father and how he isnat a good human. Part of me is scared that being a good person is inherent. Iave read enough about how I used to be to know that I didnat treat people very well. Silas included.

I can only hope that the person I turned out to be was the result of outside influences, and not because thatas who Iall always be. A vindictive, cheating sh.e.l.l of a person.

I open the backpack and begin reading more notes while Silas drives. I come across something about files that Silas stole from his father, and how we suspect they might implicate my father. Why would Silas steal those from his father? If my father is guilty, which I believe he is, why would Silas want to hide that?

aWhy do you think you stole those files from your father?a I ask him.

He shrugs. aI donat know. The only thing I can come up with is that maybe I hid them because I felt bad for you. Maybe I didnat want your father to go to prison for longer than he already was, because it would have broken your heart.a That sounds like something Silas would do.

aAre they still in your room?a I ask him.

Silas nods. aI think so. Iam pretty sure I read somewhere that I keep them near my bed.a aWhen we get to your house tonight, I think you should give them to your father.a Silas glances at me across the seats. aAre you sure about that?a I nod. aHeas ruined a lot of lives, Silas. He deserves to pay for that.a aCharlie didnat know you had these?a Iam standing outside Silasas fatheras study. When we walked in the door and he saw me with Silas, I thought he was going to hit him. Silas told him to give him five minutes to explain. He ran upstairs and got the files and brought them back down to his father.

I canat hear their entire conversation. Silas is explaining to him that he hid them to protect me. Heas apologizing. His father is quiet. And thena aCharlie? Can you come in here, please?a His father scares me. Not in the way my father scared me. Clark Nash is intimidating, but he doesnat seem evil. Not like Brett Wynwood.

I walk into his office and he motions for me to take a seat next to Silas. I do. He paces the length of his desk a few times and then stops. When he faces us, heas looking directly at me.

aI owe you an apology.a Iam sure he can see the shock in my expression. aYou do?a He nods. aIave been harsh on you. What your father did to mea"to our companya"that had nothing to do with you. Yet I blamed you when the files went missing, because I knew how fiercely you stood by him.a He glances back at Silas and says, aIad be lying if I said I wasnat disappointed in you, Silas. Interfering with a federal investigationaa aI was sixteen, Dad. I didnat know what I was doing. But I do now, and Charlie and I both want to make things right.a Clark Nash nods and then walks around his desk to take a seat. aSo does this mean weall be seeing you around more often, Charlie?a I glance at Silas and then back at his father. aYes, sir.a He smiles a little bit, and his smile looks just like Silasas smile. Clark should smile more often.

aVery well, then,a he says.

Silas and I both take that as our cue to leave. As weare walking up the stairs, Silas pretend-falls, sinking down on the top stair as he clutches his chest. aChrist, that man is terrifying,a he says.

I laugh and pull him back to his feet.

At least if things donat work out in our favor tomorrow, weall have done one good deed.

aCharlie, you were a good sport today,a Silas says, tossing me a t-shirt. Iam sitting cross-legged on his floor. I catch it and shake it out to see whatas on the front. Itas a camp t-shirt. He doesnat offer pants.

aIs that your way of flirting with me?a I ask. aBringing sport into your compliments?a Silas makes a face. aLook around this room. Do you see anything sports related?a Itas true. He seems to be more into photography than anything else. aaYouare on the football team,a I say.

aYeah, well, I donat want to be.a aCharlie says quit the football team,a I tell him.

aMaybe I will,a he says. With that, he swings open his bedroom door. I can hear him rushing down the stairs two at a time. I wait a moment to see what heas up to, and then shortly thereafter, heas running back up the stairs. His door swings back open and he smiles. aI just told my father I quit the football team,a he says proudly.

aWhat did he say?a He shrugs. aI donat know. I must be scared of him, because I ran back upstairs as soon as I told him.a He winks at me. aAnd what are you quitting, Charlize?a aMy dad.a My answer comes easy. aCharlie needs to walk away from things that stunt her emotional growth.a Silas stops what heas doing to look at me. Itas a weird look. One Iam not familiar with.

aWhat?a I suddenly feel defensive.