Myth-Nomers And Im-Pervections Part 23

It was clear the two of them weren't on the best of terms.

I felt it best to intercede before things got ugly.

"How did you get into my room?"

"Bribed the bellhop," my old partner said, returning his attention to me. "Those guys would sell the key to their mother's store if there was a big enough tip in it for them.

An awkward silence followed. Desperately, I cast about for something to say.

"So how have you been, Aahz?" I ventured, realizing how lame it sounded. "You look great."

"Oh, I've been swell . . . just swell," he spat. "As a matter of fact, it's a good thing I saw your ad in the personals when I did. I was about to head off-dimension. I had forgot- ten how high the prices are around here."

I made a mental note to pay off the bellhop. It looked like his idea of placing an ad had paid off better than all my running around.

'' You can say that again," I agreed. " I sure got ambushed by the cost. Of course, I've never been here before, so I couldn't know ..."

I broke off, realizing he was staring at me.

"Which brings us back to my original question, Skeeve.

What are you doing here and why do you want to talk to me?"

My moment had come, and if Aahz's mood was any indication, I had better make my first pitch good. I probably wouldn't get a second chance. Everything I had considered saying to him the next time we met face to face whirled through my head like a kaleidoscope, mixing randomly with my recent thoughts regarding myself.

My search had given me new insight into Aahz. Seeing 195.

the dimension that sp.a.w.ned and shaped him, having learned about his schooldays, and having met his mother, I had a much clearer picture of what made my old partner tick.

While I was ready to use that information, I resolved never to let him know how much I had learned. Someday, when he was ready, he might share some of it with me voluntarily, but until then I felt it was best to let him think his privacy was still unbroached. Of course, that still left me groping for what to say here and now. Should I beg him to come back with me? Should I play on our friendship ... or use the campaign against Queen Hemlock to lure him back for just one more job?

Suddenly, Kalvin's advice came back to me. There was no right or wrong thing to say. All I could do was try, and hope that it was good enough to reach my alienated friend.

If not ...

Taking a deep breath, I gave it my best shot.

"Mostly, I came to apologize, Aahz."

"Apologize?"

My words seemed to startle him.

"That's right. I treated you rather shabbily . . . back before you left. I've got no right to ask you to come back, but I did want to find you to offer my apology and an explanation, for what it's worth. You see ..."

Now that I had started, my words poured out in a rush, popping out without conscious thought on my part.

"I was so afraid in my new position as head of M.Y.T.H.

Inc. that I went overboard trying to live up to what I thought everybody expected of me. I tried to cover up my own weaknesses ... to appear strong, by doing everything with- out any help from anybody. I wouldn't even accept the same help that had been given to me before I accepted the position, and either ignored or snapped at any offers of advice or 196 a.s.sistance because I saw them as admissions of my own shortcomings."

I looked at him steadily.

"It was a dumb, immature, jacka.s.s way to act, but worst of all it hurt my friends because it made them feel useless and unwanted. That was bad enough for Tananda and Chum- ley and the others, and I'll be apologizing to them, too, but it was an unforgivable way to treat you."

Licking my lips, I went for it.

"I've never been all that good with words, Aahz, and I doubt I'll ever be able to tell you how much you mean to me. I said I couldn't ask you to come back, and I won't.

but I will say that if you do come back, you'll be more than welcome. I'd'like a chance to show you what I can't find the words to say ... that I admire you and value the wisdom and guidance you've always given me. I can't promise that I'll be able to change completely or immediately, but I'm going to try ... whether you come back or not. I do know it'll be easier if you're there to box my ears when I start to slip. I wish . . . well, that's all. It doesn't start to even things out, but you've got my apology."

I lapsed into silence, waiting for his response.

"You know, Skeeve, you're growing up. I think we both forget that more often than we should."

Aahz's voice was so soft I barely recognized it as his.

"Does this mean you'll come back?"

"I . . . I'll have to think about it." he said, looking away.' 'Let me get back to you in a couple of days. Okay?''

"I'd like to, but I can't," I grimaced. "I've got to leave tonight."

"I see," Aahz's head snapped around. "You could only allow so much time for this little jaunt, huh? Work piling up back at the office?''

An angry, indignant protest rose to my lips, but I fought 197.

back. From what he knew, Aahz's a.s.sumption wasn't only not out of line, it was a logical error.

"That's not it at all," I said quietly. "If you must know, the local police have told me to be off-dimension by mom- ing."

"What!!?? You've been tossed off Perv?"

My old partner's eyes fixed on Pookie with cold fury.

"What have you two been up to that could get you tossed off a dimension like this?"

"Don't look at me, cousin! This is the first I've heard of it. The last thing I knew he was heading off-dimension because he couldn't find you."

"That was before my last interview with the police," I supplied. "Really, Aahz, Pookie had nothing to do with it.

It's a little mess I got into on my own over ... the details aren't really important right now. The bottom line is that I can't hang around while you make up your mind."

"Well some day I want to hear those 'unimportant de- tails,' "Aahz growled. "In the meantime, I suppose you can go on ahead and I'll catch up with you after I've thought things out."

"Um . . . actually, if you decide to come, I'll be over on Klah, not Deva."

I tried to make it sound casual, but Aahz caught it in a flash.

"Klah? What would take you back to that backwater dimension?"

There was no way around the direct question. Besides, my old mentor's tone of voice called for a no-nonsense answer.

"Well, there's a problem I've got to deal with there.

Remember Queen Hemlock? It seems she's on the move again."

"Hemlock?" Aahz frowned. "I thought you cooled her 198 jets with a ring that wouldn't come off."

I decided it wasn't the time to ask what a jet was.

"I did," I acknowledged. "She sent it back to me ...

finger and all. It looked like a pretty clear announcement and a warning that she was all set to launch her world conquest plans again . . . and wasn't about to put up with any interference."

"... And you're about to go up against her alone?

Without even mentioning it to me?"

"I ... I didn't think it would be fair to try to pressure you with it, Aahz. Face it, the way things seem to go there will always be some kind of trouble cropping up. You can't be expected to spend your life covering my tail every time I get in a sc.r.a.pe. Besides, I'm not going to try to take her on myself. In fact, the rest of the team is already there. I sent them on ahead while I came back to look for you."

I was expecting an explosion and a lecture. Instead, Aahz seemed to be studying my face.

"Let me see if I've got this right," he said, finally.

"Your home dimension is under attack . . . and instead of leading the team in the campaign, you put it all on hold to come looking for me?"

When he put it that way, it did sound more than a little irresponsible.

"Well . . . yes," I stammered. "But I told Ma.s.sha to come pick me up at the end of a week. I figured that I'd have to go and pitch in at that point, whether I had found you or not."

Aahz started to say something, then shook his head. Heav- ing a great sigh, he tried again. *

"Skeeve . . . don't worry about not being able to find the right words. I think you've given me a pretty good idea of what I really mean to you."

199.

"I did?"

He nodded.

"Enough that I've decided I don't need any more time to make up my mind. Grab your stuff, partner. Let's get going. Are you square with the hotel, or do you still have to settle accounts?"

"I'm all set on that front," I said. "There's no balance . . . since they made me pay in advance."

"That figures," Aahz grumbled. "Unless you're a VIP or something, everybody gets the same treatment."

It was just too good an opening to pa.s.s up, and I yielded to the temptation.

"Of course, it'll probably be easier for me next time around. .. now that I have a line of credit and a credit card.''

"What next time around? I thought you said the po- lice ..."

His train of thought stopped abruptly as he turned to loom over me.

"CREDIT CARD? What credit card? Who's been teach- ing you about credit cards?''

That wasn't exactly the reaction I had been expecting.

"The bank suggested it, actually," I explained. "They said ..."

"What bank? How did you know what to look for in a bank?"

"Well, it was recommended to me by Edvick, he's the cabbie I hired while I was here, and ..."

"That you hired? Why didn't you . . ."He paused and seemed to regain a bit of control. "It sounds like you've- got quite a bit to discuss with me ... when we have the time. Right, partner'1.'"'

"Right, Aahz," I said, glad to be off the hook for the moment.

200 ' 'Is there anything that has to be done before we leave?''

"Well, I've got to get some money to the bellhop. I promised him ..."

"Spare me the details . . . for the moment anyway. Any- thing else?"

"No, Aahz."

"All right. Finish packing while I hunt up this bellhop for you. Then, we're off for Klah ... if I can find the settings on the D-hopper, that is. It's been a while, and..."

"Save the batteries, cousin," Pookie said. "I think I can handle getting us all there without help."

"You? Since when were you coming along?" Aahz gaped.

"Since I hired on with Skeeve here," the bodyguard countered. "While we're on the subject, since when did you need a D-hopper to travel through the dimensions?''

"Um ... if the two of you don't mind," I said, stuffing my dirty clothes into my new bag, "could we save all that until later? Right now, we've got a war to catch!"