My new life, won't you please become peaceful! Chapter 9

He was born with blessings from angels.

He, who has the rarest of power and abilities.

“We were born to hunt.”

That is father’s motto, the Lancelot household’s motto. We only have one master, the rest are merely acquaintances. Even the Gawain household, commander of the knights of the round tables, cannot defy us. We are born with haughtiness, arrogance, pride and power, greater than any other.

That is ‘Lancelot’.

Even if we’re like that… When I look at mother, I would often become curious. If someone inquired where imperfections in our household was, everyone would most possibly point towards d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot. It’s not like I don’t love her…but she’s different.

Mother has a small build, is short and has blemishes, appears naive, unlike the other d.u.c.h.esses. Every time she looks at father, her gazes aren’t filled with love but ‘fear’. This was why when I was able to recall stuff, the first thing I did was to ask father, “father did you force yourself onto mother…”. Father became silent for a second, he had a face of someone who didn’t know what to say, at last, he forced down his anger and said heavily, “one day, when you have grown up, you will come to understand me”.

The sentence was like something which stuck to my mind and I don’t like it. I believe there’s no such thing as a question with no answers but the scary truth is, I’ll have to wait until I come of age, only then would the answer appear. This made me have to make a note of it and hope that when I’ve grown up, the answer will appear as father had said.

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Nigel Gawain is my best friend. He has all the textbook features of a Gawain lineage but there are some parts which he falls short of: he still appears weak but he definitely is cute. I think of him as a younger brother, if I ever have a younger brother…I’d want one like him. Yet, nowadays, he’d changed. He keeps going on about ‘Gilbert Bedivere’.

“Haref, you’ve yet to meet Gil right?”, every time he speaks of Gilbert Bedivere, he would break into a smile, his eyes would light up and he would often speak of him using his nickname, this made me feel slightly lonely, “Gil’s someone who’s listless but his face would always be decorated with smiles…I…I think his smiles are incredibly adorable”. I sat still for a moment and smiled faintly at Nigel. “…Haref please don’t smile so much, your smiles make me nauseous when I look at you…”

Nigel has gynophobia and I’m too pretty a man, I also have long hair, this made Nigel feel nauseous. Truthfully, I have thought of cutting my hair, a man letting his hair grow is odd but because mother and father likes my hair colour, I decided to grow my hair out. Although there are times when mentally blind and r.e.t.a.r.ded people would treat me as a girl and do things which are uncalled of…when I return their favour, I could consider it as training.

“I feel like…it’s relaxing when I’m with Gil”, when I stopped smiling, Nigel’s complexion improved, “he’s kinda…weird, it feels as if he’s been sitting in my mind, he knows what I want and that makes me feel good when I talk to him”. I think there’s something wrong, when I think of Duke Bedivere, he always appear stern…his son should have the same demeanour as a Bedivere and that kind of person definitely won’t make you feel relaxed around them. When I kept quiet, Nigel broke into s smile and started to talk about the same old name which made me sigh.

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That day…I thought it would be the same as any other day.

“Haref!” Every time we meet, Nigel would always call out my name in glee but today, something was off, there was someone behind him.

A child who’s the same age.

His golden eyes and hair sparkled like gold, a cute face, though he may be inferior to Nigel by a third, his features are enticing. He looked at me, something in me told me that this was ‘Gilbert Bedivere’.

But weird…

That face which should have been decorated with smiles became pale, his body started shaking as if he’d just seen something horrific.

I flinched.

“Ummm…can I ask you something, could you perhaps be…Haref Lancelot?” I blinked, not knowing what he was thinking but I still replied, “Yes…I’m Haref Lancelot”. Following this reply, his eyes widened, far from the ‘Gilbert Bedivere’ which Nigel has talked about, I couldn’t really grasp the situation, I looked at him, who was shaking, he turned to say something to Nigel, an annoying gesture but somehow I did not say anything like I would’ve done.

In a spilt second, he started to cry.

Both Nigel and I were shocked, he was bawling his eyes out, when he’d finished, he turned to Nigel and told him that he didn’t want to see him anymore, I feel like he’s weird…there’s a screw loose in his head.

When I turned back, Nigel started to cry, I didn’t know what to do so, I could only try and calm him down. But, apart from compa.s.sion, I didn’t feel like he was annoying and I…didn’t feel what I felt with Gilbert Bedivere.

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We became close after that. I don’t understand why I feel irritated when I look at Gilbert Bedivere, this may be from his inactiveness which is truly annoying…I’ve been wondering for a while now, in which way does Nigel view Gilbert, let alone his features and the atmosphere around him is far from what Nigel had described to me, this lead me to think that Nigel’s eyes have problems.

Gilbert, is nowhere near as good as what Nigel had described. He’s not patient nor are his smiled dazzling. In reality, he’s always lost in his own world which made him have the same expression: an empty smile. I don’t feel relaxed when I’m around him, in contrary, he’s like some kinda peculiar being who makes me feel odd.  Every time I look at him, I could feel an urge, before I know it, my body moved unconsciously. He makes me unable to control myself, he made me short-tempered but if anyone saw his lethargic ways, they would want to fix it, oh, excluding Nigel.

This best friend of mine would merrily smile in reply to everything Nigel says… Gilbert likes Nigel, this I know, Gilbert is scared of me…this, I also know. But I don’t feel troubled at all, it’s a feeling which can’t be described in words, when he accidentally looks at me with brightly lit eyes, in just a second, he would start shaking, I find it rather funny. I never tried to find an answer as to why I was feeling this until mother mentioned it. “Re-Recently…yo-you-you’re…”, d.u.c.h.ess Lancelot is someone who I would like to fix, I’m repeatedly surprised that she’s my mother, “be-becoming similar to your father”.

Hm?

As in I’ve grown up a bit? But when mother mentioned it, father joined in and said “…that’s right”. At first I did not understand what they meant but I’m not an idiot and staying with the ‘catalyst’ had made me able to find the answer, I understood what they meant as clear as day…

“Is something wrong Haref, looking at me like that…is kinda scary”, Gilbert Bedivere paled, I lowered my eyes, “…I…I don’t know what I did wrong but…please don’t look at me like that…”

“Why?”, I didn’t know what kind of gaze did I look at him with so, I asked him. Gilbert Bedivere’s face was filled with fear, it seemed like he didn’t want to answer me but he could not hold it back, “You look at me with a gaze which says if I were to commit a crime against you and died, you’d come and drag me back from the afterlife just so you could beat me up some more…”

“Hm?”, I was surprised, is he trying to say I’m someone who’s reluctant to let anyone go?

Now that I’ve thought about it…I looked at Gilbert Bedivere, a boy who’s got golden hair and is pet.i.te, oblivious, unalarmed, someone who wears their thoughts on their face, when he looks at me he would start trembling…isn’t he just like a tiny animal?

The more I thought about it, the more I understood, I couldn’t help but smile and when I smiled like that…

“P-Please don’t smile like that…”, Gilbert made a teary face, “when you smile, I feel like I’m being followed by a psychopathic serial killer”.

I smiled…because he’s ‘Gilbert Bedivere’. Which is why I won’t listen to his pleas.

“Noooooooooooo Haref! I’m sorryyyyyyyyy!!”

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Once I used to question my family. Mother, who is not outstanding is like a being different from the rest of our household, every time she looks at her husband, she would always be filled with fear, this lead to my curiosity. Why did father choose mother, even though there are many of those in the kingdom, no, even in this little town, who are far more superior than my mother.

I could never understand.

Until I met ‘him’.

It made me want to laugh because the answer had always been there, it’s in our blood, our motto, ‘because we are Lancelot’

“We were born to hunt.”

And there’s only one thing that can boil our blood, make us unable to control ourselves, not a captivating woman who’s got a high status, nor an outstanding lady but a ‘prey’.

But yeah…

There’s no need for Gilbert Bedivere to know this.

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At least for now.

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Lancelot household’s relationship: hunter – prey

Author’s note:

They’re the teasing type, harshly teases someone and feels joy when the one who’s being teased shows fear.

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Yay finished another chapter. Gilbert’s screwed if he goes down this route lol. It surprisingly snowed today which is weird considering it’s only just early December, there’s a possibility we’ll have a white christmas~ pumped~

P.S ginger nuts biscuits are the best right?