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In my joy I was going to kiss her again; but I checked myself, and I did well: oaths amount to so little!
"But, monsieur," she said, "we can't pa.s.s the night sitting in your big easy-chair."
She was quite right; that would have been too dangerous.
"You will sleep in my bed," I replied, "and I will pa.s.s the night on the sofa in my study. No objections, mademoiselle; I insist upon it. You will be at liberty to double-lock my study door; you can go to sleep without the slightest fear. Does that suit you?"
"Yes, monsieur."
We went back into my bedroom; I lighted another candle, and carried the couch into my study, with Nicette's a.s.sistance. I confess that that operation was a painful one to me. However, it was done at last.
"Now you may go to bed and sleep in peace. Good-night, Nicette!"
"Good-night, monsieur!"
I took my candle and retired to my study, closing the door behind me.
There we were, in our respective quarters. I blew out the candle and threw myself on the couch. If only I could sleep; time pa.s.ses so quickly then! And yet, we sleep about a third part of our lives! and we are always glad to plunge into that oblivion, albeit we stand in fear of death, which is simply a never-ending sleep, during which it is certain that one is not disturbed by bad dreams!
Sleep, indeed! In vain did I stretch myself out, and twist and turn in every direction. I could not sleep; it was impossible. I concluded to resign myself to the inevitable, and I began to recall the incidents of my extraordinary evening; I thought of Caroline, of the charming woman at the theatre, of that infernal cabman. I tried to put Nicette out of my thoughts; but she constantly returned; I strove in vain to banish her. The idea that she was close at hand, within a few feet of me, that only a thin part.i.tion separated me from her--that idea haunted me! When I thought that I might be beside her, that I might hold her in my arms and give her her first lessons in love and pleasure--then I lost my head, my blood boiled. Only Nicette's consent was needed to make us happy, and she would not give it! To be sure, that same happiness might have results most embarra.s.sing to her.
I had the fidgets in my legs. I rose and paced the floor, but very softly; perhaps she was asleep, and I would not wake her. Poor child!
she had had trouble enough during the evening, and I was afraid that still greater trouble was in store for her; for if her mother persisted in her refusal to take her in, what would she do? Until that moment, I had not given a thought to her future.
But I had not heard the key turn in the lock; therefore, she had not locked herself in. That was strange; evidently she relied on my oath.
What imprudence, to believe in a young man's promises!
Was she asleep or not? that was what tormented me. For half an hour I stood close against the door, turning first one ear, then the other, and listening intently; but I could hear nothing. I looked through the keyhole; there was a light in the room; was it from caution, or forgetfulness?
But she had not locked the door. Ah! perhaps she had locked it without my hearing it. It was very easy to satisfy myself on that point. I turned the k.n.o.b very gently, and the door opened. I stopped, fearing that I had made a noise. But I heard nothing. If I could see her for a moment asleep, see her in bed--for there, and only there can one judge a woman's beauty fairly. I leaned forward; the candle stood on the commode, at some little distance from the bed. I stepped into the room, holding my breath, and stood by her side. She was not undressed; I might have guessed as much. I turned to walk away. Ah! those miserable shoes!
they squeaked, and Nicette awoke. I determined to change my shoemaker.
"Do you want anything, monsieur?" she asked.
"No; that is to say, yes, I--I was looking for a book; but I have found it."
I returned quickly to my study, feeling that I must have cut a sorry figure. The door was closed, and I was not tempted to open it again. Ah!
how long that night seemed to me! The day came at last!
VI
MADEMOISELLE AGATHE
It was long after daybreak. People were already going and coming in the house, and I had not yet ventured to wake Nicette. She was sleeping so soundly! and the preceding day had been a day of tempest, after which rest was essential. But I heard a movement at last; she rose, opened the door, and came toward me, smiling.
"Monsieur, will you allow me to kiss you?"
I understood: that was my reward for my continence during the night, and it was well worth it. She kissed me with evident pleasure, and I began to feel the enjoyment that one is likely to feel when one has no occasion for self-reproach.
"Now, Nicette, let us talk seriously; but, no, let us breakfast first of all; we can talk quite as well at table. You must feel the need of something to eat, do you not?"
"Yes, monsieur, I should like some breakfast right well."
"I always keep something on hand for unexpected guests."
"Tell me where everything is, monsieur, and I'll set the table."
"On the sideboard yonder, and in the drawers."
"All right, all right!"
She ran to fetch what we required. In two minutes the table was set. I admired Nicette's grace and activity; a little maid-servant like that, I thought, would suit me infinitely better than my concierge, Madame Dupont, who took care of my rooms. But, apropos of Madame Dupont, suppose she should appear? We had time enough, however; for it was only seven o'clock, and the concierge, knowing that I was a little inclined to be lazy, never came up before eight. So that we could breakfast at our ease.
"Let us talk a little, Nicette. I am interested in your future; you cannot doubt that."
"You have proved it, monsieur."
"What are you going to do when you leave me?"
"Go back to my mother."
"That is quite right; but suppose she still refuses to let you in?"
"I will try to find work; I will go out to service, if I must; perhaps I shall be able to get in somewhere."
"Undoubtedly; but who can say what sort of people you will encounter, and what hands you will fall into? Young and pretty as you are, you will find it harder than others might to get a suitable place, if, as I a.s.sume, you mean to remain virtuous."
"Oh! indeed I do mean to remain virtuous, monsieur."
"I know what men are; they are almost all libertines; marriage puts no curb on their pa.s.sions. Wherever you take service, your masters will make you some unequivocal proposals, and will maltreat you if you reject them."
"Then I will leave the house; I'll hire myself out to a single lady."
"Old maids are exacting, and keep their young servants in close confinement, for fear that they may walk the streets and make acquaintances. Young women receive much company, and will set you a dangerous example."
"How good you talk this morning!"
"Don't wonder at that; a drunkard is a connoisseur in wine, a welcher in horses, a painter in pictures, a libertine in methods of seduction. For the very reason that I am not virtuous, I am better able than another to warn you of the risks you are about to run. Experience teaches. You did not yield to me, and I desire to preserve you for the future. Don't be grateful to me for it; very likely, it is simply a matter of self-esteem on my part, for I feel that it would be distressing to me to see the profanation of a flower that I have failed to pluck. You understand me, don't you, Nicette?"
"Yes, yes, monsieur! I'm no prude, and I know what you mean! But don't be afraid! How could I give another what I refused you?"
She said this with evident feeling and sincerity. Clearly she liked me; I could not doubt it; she was all the more praiseworthy for having resisted me.
"After all, my dear girl, I don't see why you shouldn't continue to sell flowers; it is better suited to you than domestic service."
"That is true, monsieur, but----"