Mother's Remedies Part 200

It is thought unlucky to postpone a wedding. Better withdraw the invitations in case of severe illness or death, and have a quiet home ceremony with few present.

A bridal procession always moves up the central aisle of the church. In case there is no center aisle, it moves up one aisle and retires down the other. The relatives of the bridegroom are seated in the body of the church on the right; those of the bride are similarly placed on the left.

The hats of the father and ushers are left with the s.e.xton in the vestibule and handed to them as they leave.

At a church wedding a bride almost invariably wears a veil. Her attendants wear hats. The maid-of-honor may wear a short veil.

The dress of the bridal party has already been fully described in a preceding chapter.

It is the custom for the bridegroom to give a gift, almost invariably a piece of jewelry, to his bride; and a small gift of silver or jewelry to each of the ushers and to the best man. The bride generally gives some souvenir of the same character to each of her attendants.

The bridegroom sends the bride her bouquet, and often one of violets or her favorite flower to the bride's mother.

The bride's father seems a rather subordinate figure at the fashionable wedding. After he has given away the bride, he retires into the background, escorting his wife to her carriage at the conclusion of the ceremony. He does not a.s.sist her in receiving the guests at the house, but circulates among them after congratulations have been tendered the newly wedded pair.

Formal afternoon dress is necessary for men who attend a day wedding, at church or at home. At an evening wedding they wear evening clothes.

After a wedding, the members of the bridal party are expected to call on the bride's mother within ten days or two weeks.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 787]

A bridal party always stand with their backs to the audience, the clergyman facing it.

Remember--

That men's evening clothes are not worn before six o'clock.

That women wear their hats at afternoon functions, teas, luncheons, bridge parties, etc., and remove them at evening affairs.

That in society, personal affairs, servants, dress, household difficulties, "symptoms," illnesses and bereavements, are not to be made a subject of conversation.

It is not good form to talk of the cost of articles or mention money affairs in company.

The social aspirant should cultivate the art of saying polite nothings acceptably. Small talk is the small change of social life.

One should be prompt at dinner, a card-party or a musicale.

At a dancing-party the hostess does not dance, as a rule, during the first part of the evening. She receives her guests and sees that the women are provided with partners.

A man who dances should pay his hostess the courtesy of inviting her to dance. He should certainly dance with her daughter.

Engaged couples should be careful to avoid demonstrations of affection or preoccupation in each other while in company.

Remember--

That the salt-shaker is out of favor; the open salt cellar and the salt-spoon are much preferred.

Never cut bread; break it with the fingers. Never b.u.t.ter a large piece, or spread it in the palm of your hand.

The finger-bowl will be brought on a plate with a doily under it.

Lift both from the plate to the table. The plate is then ready for the fruit course.

Black coffee--cafe noir--is usually served without cream. Cut loaf sugar is pa.s.sed with it.

If a visitor for one meal only, the napkin is not folded at the conclusion of a meal. If staying a day or two follow the practice of the hostess.

Creme de menthe is served before the coffee, in small liquor gla.s.ses.

Do not break bread or crackers into the soup nor tip the plate to obtain the last of it.

Do not play with crumbs, or finger knife or spoon.

Never touch a knife to fish or salad.

[788 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]

Remember--

Do not move gla.s.s, spoon, etc., when the maid brushes the crumbs from the cloth.

Knife and fork are laid upon the plate, tines of the latter upward, when the plate is pa.s.sed for a second helping. This "second help" is permitted only at family or informal dinners.

A host must not urge food upon a guest after it has once been declined.

Lift the cup or gla.s.s to the lips, instead of bending toward it. Do not throw the head back and raise the cup to get the last of its contents.

Remember--

To prepare a list of the members of the family who will go to the cemetery at a funeral, for the undertaker's guidance, arranging them in the order of the relationship.

Flowers should be sent early in the morning of the day of interment, or on the previous afternoon. Acknowledgment by note or verbally is expected.

A letter expressive of sympathy in a friend's bereavement should be sent immediately upon learning of a death.

During an illness, make inquiries at the door, leaving a card with "To inquire" written upon it. This apprises a friend of your interest in her troubles, yet makes no claim upon her time.

Men wear mourning bands on their hats, not on the coat sleeve. Borders on mourning stationery and cards should be narrow.

Invitations to receptions, weddings, and general entertainments, excepting dancing parties, b.a.l.l.s and cotillions, are sent to people in mourning. A response on black bordered stationery sufficiently indicates the reason for non-acceptance.

Remember--

That the typewriter does not figure in social correspondence.