Monsieur, Madame, and Bebe Part 16

But it seemed as if it took him a week to wash it off.

CHAPTER XV. MY WIFE GOES TO A DANCE

Madame--Ah! it is so nice of you to come home early! (Looking at the clock.) A quarter to six. But how cold you are! your hands are frozen; come and sit by the fire. (She puts a log on the fire.) I have been thinking of you all day. It is cruel to have to go out in such weather.

Have you finished your doubts? are you satisfied?

Monsieur--Quite well satisfied, dear. (Aside.) But I have never known my wife to be so amiable. (Aloud, taking up the bellows.) Quite well satisfied, and I am very hungry. Has my darling been good?

Madame--You are hungry. Good! (Calling out.) Marie, call into the kitchen that your master wants to dine early. Let them look after everything--and send up a lemon.

Monsieur--A mystery?

Madame--Yes, Monsieur, I have a little surprise for you, and I fancy that it will delight you.

Monsieur--Well, what is the surprise?

Madame--Oh! it is a real surprise. How curious you look! your eyes are glittering already. Suppose I were not to tell you anything?

Monsieur--Then you would vex me very much.

Madame--There, I don't want to vex you. You are going to have some little green oysters and a partridge. Am I good?

Monsieur--Oysters and a partridge! You are an angel. (He kisses her.) An angel. (Aside.) What on earth is the matter with her? (Aloud.) Have you had visitors to-day?

Madame--I saw Ernestine this morning, but she only stayed a moment. She has just discharged her maid. Would you believe it, that girl was seen the night before last dressed up as a man, and in her master's clothes, too! That was going too far.

Monsieur--That comes of having confidential servants. And you just got a sight of Ernestine?

Madame--And that was quite enough, too. (With an exclamation.) How stupid I am! I forgot. I had a visit from Madame de Lyr as well.

Monsieur--G.o.d bless her! But does she still laugh on one side of her mouth to hide her black tooth?

Madame-How cruel you are! Yet, she likes you very well. Poor woman! I was really touched by her visit. She came to remind me that we--now you will be angry. (She kisses him and sits down beside him.)

Monsieur--Be angry! be angry! I'm not a Turk. Come, what is it?

Madame--Come, we shall go to dinner. You know that there are oysters and a partridge. I won't tell you--you are already in a bad temper. Besides, I all but told her that we are not going.

Monsieur--(raising his hands aloft)--I thought so. She and her evening may go to the dogs. What have I done to this woman that she should so pester me?

Madame--But she thinks she is affording you pleasure. She is a charming friend. As for me, I like her because she always speaks well of you. If you had been hidden in that cabinet during her visit, you could not have helped blushing. (He shrugs his shoulders.) "Your husband is so amiable," she said to me, "so cheery, so witty. Try to bring him; it is an honor to have him." I said, "Certainly," but without meaning it, you know. But I don't care about it at all. It is not so very amusing at Madame de Lyr's. She always invites such a number of serious people. No doubt they are influential people, and may prove useful, but what does that matter to me? Come to dinner. You know that there is a bottle left of that famous Pomard; I have kept it for your partridge. You can not imagine what pleasure I feel in seeing you eat a partridge. You eat it with such a gusto. You are a glutton, my dear. (She takes his arm.) Come, I can hear your rascal of a son getting impatient in the dining-room.

Monsieur--(with a preoccupied air)--Hum! and when is it?

Madame--When is what?

Monsieur--The party, of course.

Madame--Ah! you mean the ball--I was not thinking of it. Madame de Lyr's ball. Why do you ask me that, since we are not going? Let us make haste, dinner is getting cold.... This evening.

Monsieur--(stopping short)--What! this party is a ball, and this ball is for this evening. But, hang it! people don't invite you to a ball like that. They always give notice some time beforehand.

Madame--But she sent us an invitation a week ago, though I don't know what became of the card. I forgot to show it to you.

Monsieur--You forgot! you forgot!

Madame--Well, it is all for the best; I know you would have been sulky all the week after. Come to dinner.

They sat down to table. The cloth was white, the cutlery bright, the oysters fresh; the partridge, cooked to perfection, exhaled a delightful odor. Madame was charming, and laughed at everything. Monsieur unbent his brows and stretched himself on the chair.

Monsieur--This Pomard is very good. Won't you have some, little dear?

Madame--Yes, your little dear will. (She pushes forward her gla.s.s with a coquettish movement.)

Monsieur--Ah! you have put on your Louis Seize ring. It is a very pretty ring.

Madame--(putting her hand under her husband's nose)--Yes; but look--see, there is a little bit coming off.

Monsieur--(kissing his wife's hand)--Where is the little bit?

Madame--(smiling)--You jest at everything. I am speaking seriously.

There--look--it is plain enough! (They draw near once another and bend their heads together to see it.) Don't you see it? (She points out a spot on the ring with a rosy and slender finger.) There! do you see now--there?

Monsieur--That little pearl which--What on earth have you been putting on your hair, my dear? It smells very nice--You must send it to the jeweller. The scent is exquisite. Curls don't become you badly.

Madame--Do you think so? (She adjusts her coiffure with her white hand.) I thought you would like that scent; now, if I were in your place I should--

Monsieur--What would you do in my place, dear?

Madame--I should--kiss my wife.

Monsieur--(kissing her)--Well, I must say you have very bright ideas sometimes. Give me a little bit more partridge, please. (With his mouth full.) How pretty these poor little creatures look when running among the corn. You know the cry they give when the sun sets?--A little gravy.--There are moments when the poetic side of country life appeals to one. And to think that there are barbarians who eat them with cabbage. But (filling his gla.s.s) have you a gown ready?

Madame--(with innocent astonishment.)--What for, dear?

Monsieur--Why, for Madame de Lyr's--

Madame--For the ball?--What a memory you have--There you are still thinking of it--No, I have not--ah! yes, I have my tarletan, you know; but then a woman needs so little to make up a ball-room toilette.

Monsieur--And the hairdresser, has he been sent for?

Madame--No, he has not been sent for; but I am not anxious to go to this ball. We will settle down by the fireside, read a little, and go to bed early. You remind me, however, that, on leaving, Madame de Lyr did say, "Your hairdresser is the same as mine, I will send him word." How stupid I am; I remember now that I did not answer her. But it is not far, I can send Marie to tell him not to come.

Monsieur--Since this blessed hairdresser has been told, let him come and we will go and--amuse ourselves a little at Madame de Lyr's. But on one condition only; that I find all my dress things laid out in readiness on my bed with my gloves, you know, and that you tie my necktie.

Madame--A bargain. (She kisses him.) You are a jewel of a husband. I am delighted, my poor dear, because I see you are imposing a sacrifice upon yourself in order to please me; since, as to the ball itself, I am quite indifferent about it. I did not care to go; really now I don't care to go.